THE END OF AN ERA.

musing blog !

[jaspermuses]

           careful with me ,  i'm                                              VOLATILE .                       careful with me , i'm                                              HOMICIDAL .

[jaspermuses]

         BITCH , are you trying to make me  cry ?                                        are you trying to make me   L O S E   I T ?!

[jaspermuses]

                                did i ask you for attention                                                           when affection is what i need ? 

[jaspermuses]

                                                  HARD to be soft ,                                                              TOUGH to be tender . 

[jaspermuses]

                                        i've been bad ,                                                         I’VE BEEN BAD !

[jaspermuses]

        put a little lead in his head !!

               i fought the war ,

                        I FOUGHT THE WAR,                                  but the war won't STOP , for the LOVE OF GOD !  

          i fought the war ,                   I FOUGHT THE WAR, 

                                   BUT THE WAR WON !!

[jaspermuses]

   monster movie, daddy warbucks up against bobby fuller ;       and he BEAT HIM , hands down !           lead in the head !             put a little lead                   IN HIS HEAD !! 

[jaspermuses]

MONSTER HOSPITAL , can you please release me ?      you hold my hands down, i've been bad .         you hold my arms down, I've been bad .           i've been bad, I’VE BEEN BAD .

[jaspermuses]

   It's not that difficult        to get your head around ,                     you'll never meet another me !                              you'll NEVER , never , ever , NEVER EVER                                                                              meet another                                                                                               ME !

[jaspermuses]

 i sat astride their chest, " it's just a thrill, "   they said .                        as they relaxed on the dark, dark bed,   " it's just breath control. "

 they whispered :   " hold me here, "  and i DID, && their head fell back ;          they whispered :   " press harder. " and i DID ,  && their eyes                                                                                                           rolled                                                                                                                        back .

[jaspermuses]

  i sat astride her chest,  " it's just a thrill, "   she said .                 as she relaxed on the dark, dark bed,   " it's just breath control. "

  she whispered :   " hold me here, "   and i DID, && her head fell back ;           she whispered :   " press harder. "   and i DID ,  && her eyes                                                                                                           rolled                                                                                                                        back .

[jaspermuses]

   i sat astride his chest,  " it's just a thrill, "   he said .          as he relaxed on the dark, dark bed,   " it's just breath control. "

   he whispered :  " hold me here, "   and i DID, && his head fell back ;             he whispered :    " press harder. "   and i DID ,  && his eyes                                                                                                            rolled                                                                                                                         back . 

[jaspermuses]

i hear more than i like to so i boil my head in a sense of humor ;  i laugh at what i cannot change i throw it all on the pyre again ---  go ,  then and DO THIS .

[jaspermuses]

 it's going to drive me             RIGHT  OUT                      OF                           MY  BRAIN !                                                 drive in !    drive out   !                                                         I’M L E A V I N G  !

[jaspermuses]

         && if i was scared , i would .              && if i was BORED , you know i would .                   && if i was yours , BUT I’M NOT .                                    NOW I’M READY TO START !

[jaspermuses]

   && it is as simple as asking :

                    have you been drinking ?

  i will not lie. i will bear my shame,    and answer :

                   yes, or no .

   for yes, i am an alcoholic —       boozy for a drink to make your thinking                less                  cohesive …                                             but i am not a liar .

[jaspermuses]

my progress can’t be named as progress . they say i am good at       fighting         this           u r g e —

                    but how are they to know ?

     when i am          so           very             good at pretending    that i haven’t been       indulging ?

                                              - j.s.w ; substance abuse .