Mofftiss Explain
“It’s the gayest story on the history of television.”
“We all certainly saw it as a love story.”
“They are absolutely made for each other.”
“I think it’s important that kids watching television see themselves on screen.”
“To hell with deferred pleasure.”
“I don’t know. I’m just in it.”
“It’s groundbreaking.”
“If we pull this off, it’ll be television history!”
“Insane wish fulfillment.”
“Culmination of everything we’ve been working for.”
“Shattering climax.”
“Love conquers all.”
“The real version airs tonight.”
———————————————————————————————————-
“What do you think, then, Doctor Watson? There’s another bedroom upstairs if you’ll be needing two bedrooms.”
“Might we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?”
“Anything on the menu, whatever you want, free. On the house, for you and for your date.”
“Girlfriend? No, not really my area.”
“So you’ve got a boyfriend then?”
“Right. Okay. You’re unattached. Like me. Fine. Good.”
“Actually, I’ve, er, got a date.”
“That’s what I was suggesting.”
“Sherlock’s business seems to be booming since you and he became … pals.”
“He’s not gay. Why d’you have to spoil …? He’s not.”
“With that level of personal grooming?”
“Because he puts a bit of product in his hair? I put product in my hair.”
“If you don’t stop prying, I’ll burn you. I’ll burn the heart out of you.”
“I have been reliably informed that I don’t have one.”
“We both know that’s not quite true.”
“You, ripping my clothes off in a darkened swimming pool. People might talk.”
“Somebody loves you.”
“I don’t think John knows where to look.”
“No, I think he knows exactly where. I’m not sure about you.”
“Are you jealous?”
“We’re not a couple.”
“Yes you are.”
“I imagine John Watson thinks love’s a mystery to me but the chemistry is incredibly simple, and very destructive.”
“Listen, what I said before, John. I meant it. I don’t have friends. I’ve just got one.”
“I know you’re for real.”
“Your friends will die if you don’t.”
“John.”
“There’s stuff that you wanted to say … but didn’t say it.”
“Say it now.”
“No. Sorry. I can’t.”
“Yeah. We’re getting married … well, I’m gonna ask, anyway.”
“So soon after Sherlock?”
“Well, yes.”
“What’s his name?”
“It’s a woman.”
“A woman?!”
“Yes, of course it’s a woman.”
“You really have moved on, haven’t you?”
“One Word, Sherlock. That is all I would have needed. One word to let me know that you were alive.”
“Why indeed, John?”
“I prefer my doctors clean-shaven.”
“Yeah, well, be careful what you wish for. If I hadn’t come back, you wouldn’t be standing there and … you’d still have a future … with Mary.”
“She was probably right, really. I remember she left early. I mean, who leaves a wedding early? So sad.”
“No, it is! It is, and I want to be up there with the two people that I love and care about most in the world.”
“So know this: today you sit between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved – in short, the two people who love you most in all this world.”
“Oscillation on the pavement always means there’s a love affair.”
“And of course I have to mention the elephant in the room.”
“Why would he be scared that we’re getting married?”
“No! No! Not you! Not you! You. It’s always you. John Watson, you keep me right.”
“Mr Holmes, you and I are similar, I think.”
“Yes, I think we are.”
“There’s a proper time to die, isn’t there?”
“Of course there is.”
“And one should embrace it when it comes – like a soldier.”
“Of course one should, but not at John’s wedding. We wouldn’t do that, would we – you and me? We would never do that to John Watson.”
“John Watson is definitely in danger.”
“I know what kind of man you are … but we could have been friends.”
“Because you chose her.”
“Th-the clients – that’s all you are now, Mary. You’re a client. This is where you sit and talk … and this is where we sit and listen, then we decide if we want you or not.”
“But look how you care about John Watson. Your damsel in distress.”
“And Sherlock’s pressure point is his best friend, John Watson.”
“John, there’s something … I should say; I-I’ve meant to say always and then never have. Since it’s unlikely we’ll ever meet again, I might as well say it now.”
“We’re not naming our daughter after you.”
“I think it could work.”
“Mrs Hudson, there is a woman in my sitting room! Is it intentional?”
“You have an impish sense of humour which currently you’re deploying to ease a degree of personal anguish. You have recently married a man of a seemingly kindly disposition who has now abandoned you for an unsavoury companion of dubious morals.”
“Holmes, against absolutely no opposition whatsoever, I am your closest friend.”
“Why do you need to be alone?”
“No, those are my words, not yours! That is the version of you that I present to the public: the brain without a heart; the calculating machine. I write all of that, Holmes, and the readers lap it up, but I do not believe it. … You are a living, breathing man. You’ve lived a life; you have a past. … Damn it, Holmes, you are flesh and blood. You have feelings. You have … you must have … impulses.”
“There’s always two of us.”
“Urgh. Why don’t you two just elope, for God’s sake?”
“Perhaps I was being a little fanciful … but perhaps such things could come to pass. In any case, I know I would be very much at home in such a world. … I beg to differ. But then I’ve always known I was a man out of his time.”
“Romantic entanglement would complete you as a human being.”
———————————————————————————————————–
This tho
