Ashley, 38, aroace nonbinary white autistic (she/her) with Chronic Lyme Disease. I post Supernatural (Destiel, Cockles), Good Omens, Malevolent, TMA, The Witcher, and more. I'm a pro-shipper but I rarely post NSFW. I'm a leftist and talk often about social and political issues, mental illness, and abuse. I try to make this a safe space. I am your momdad. I made the Cockles Masterlist.
so i have at least a couple dozen comments/proposed edits on the cockles masterlist, and probably a lot of people wondering why i haven't responded to any of them or updated the list in an entire year. i've also been asked if i have plans to continue with it.
first of all, i assure you that the cockles masterlist is NOT abandoned, and i have no intention of ever abandoning it.
however, 2025 has so far been one long kick in the nuts for me personally, with such events as five figures worth of dental procedures and resulting nerve pain in my jaw that i'd rate as the worst pain of my life (which has thankfully abated almost entirely), a national shortage on a medication i was dependent on and rationing it for nearly a month until i could get my hands on an alternative and then adjusting to that alternative, my phone breaking, my fridge breaking, my air conditioner overflowing and dripping through the ceiling, and my mother set to also need five figures worth of dental procedures that i'll need to hold her hand through, along with the general day-to-day business of being extremely chronically ill, with chronic pain, in a country descending to fascism.
in short, i've been a wreck, and it's taken all my energy and strength just to stay on my feet. my already-bad chronic illnesses have been worse due to all this stress, and i was recently down for a couple weeks with a virus, probably because of all that stress.
i love cockles, and i love the masterlist, and i would love to update it, but it takes a ton of mental energy to update it properly. (not to mention focus, which i sorely lack with my unmedicated adhd.) i fully intend to do that when i'm able, but right now i'm just not able.
no one has been remotely unkind about that, or even pressured me to work on it in the slightest, but i just wanted to put this out there for those who have been wondering or perhaps worrying that it's abandoned. thanks so much for all your support, and your interest in my project. <3
Considering a big purchase? Competitive bargain hunter? Just trying to save money? Here's everything you need to know about buying stuff.
MASTERPOST: Everything You Need To Know About Buying Stuff for Cheap
How to pay for stuff
Buy Now Pay Later Apps: That Old Predatory Lending by a Crappy New NameÂ
Businesses Will Happily Give You HUGE Discounts if You Ask This Magic QuestionÂ
Dafuq Is a Down Payment? And Why Do You Need One to Buy Stuff?Â
Ask the Bitches: Should I Get a Loan Even Though I Can Afford To Pay Cash?Â
Season 2, Episode 10: âWhich Is Smarter: Getting a Loan? or Saving up to Pay Cash?â
How to pay less for stuff
Why Name Brand Products Are Beneath You: The Honor and Glory of Buying Generic
How To Save Money With Affordable Car RepairsÂ
How to Save Money on Your Beloved PetsÂ
How to Get DIRT CHEAP Pet Medication, Without a Prescription
The Pink Tax, or: How I Learned To Love Smelling Like Bearglove
Blood Money: Menstrual Products for Surviving Your Period While Poor
Understand the Hidden Costs of Travel and Avoid Them Like the PlagueÂ
7 Totally Reasonable Ways To Save Money on Cheap EntertainmentÂ
How to buy stuff ethically
Ethical Consumption: How to Pollute the Planet and Exploit Labor Slightly LessÂ
Ask the Bitches: âHow Do I Consume Ethically AND Frugally Under the Trump Tariffs?â
21 Ideas for Sustainable Swaps That Arenât Shitty, Expensive, Greenwashed Garbage
Fast Fashion: Why Itâs Fucking up the World and How To Avoid ItÂ
You Are Above Bottled Water, You Elegant Land MermaidÂ
Kara Perezâs Debut Book âGreen Moneyâ: How To Use Your Money To Save the Planet
Wallet Activism: Using Your Money for Good with Author Tanja HesterÂ
How Can I Justify This Deeply Unethical Purchase?Â
How to buy stuff secondhand
Almost Everything Can Be Purchased SecondhandÂ
Our 5 Best Secrets for Secondhand Shopping Like a Frugal WarriorÂ
The Library Is a Magical Place and You Should Fucking Go ThereÂ
Your Library Lets You Stream Audiobooks and eBooks FOR FREEEEEEE!Â
How to buy big ticket items
Bullshit Reasons Not to Buy a House: RefutedÂ
Season 2, Episode 2: âIâm Not Ready to Buy a HouseâBut How Do I *Get Ready* to Get Ready?âÂ
How to Pay Hospital Bills When Youâre Flat BrokeÂ
Our (Ridiculously Simple) Method for Choosing the Right Healthcare Plan For YouÂ
Buying a Car with the Bitches, Part 1: How to Choose Your CarÂ
Buying a Car with the Bitches, Part 2: How to Pay for Your Car
The Only Advice Youâll Ever Need for a Cheap-Ass WeddingÂ
You Deserve Cheap, Fake Jewelry⌠Just Like Coco ChanelÂ
How To Pay for College Without Selling Your Soul to the DevilÂ
Splurging on Kids: When It Works, and When It DoesnâtÂ
How to buy gifts
The Anti-Consumerist Gift Guide: I Have No Gift to Bring, Pa Rum Pa Pum PumÂ
How Can I Tame My Familyâs Crazy Gift-giving Expectations?Â
In Defense of Shameless RegiftingÂ
Traditional Wedding Gifts Can Burn in Hell Where They Belong
Other Peopleâs Weddings Donât Have to Make You Broke
How to buy food
To Hell and Back for Cheap Groceries: The Epic Investigation (and Shocking Results) of My Grocery Store Price Comparison QuestÂ
How to Shop for Groceries like a BossÂ
Cosmic Truths of Cheap Grocery Shopping: 12 Universal Rules to Save Money on Food, No Matter What You Buy or Where You Shop
The Ultimate Showdown: Cheese Crackers, RankedÂ
If You Canât Afford to Tip 20%, You Canât Afford To Dine OutÂ
We Ranked Chocolate Sandwich Cookies by Taste and Price So You Donât Have ToÂ
Confessions of a Thanksgiving Lunatic: Why I Spend $500 Hosting Every YearÂ
How to avoid buying stuff
How to Avoid Lifestyle Inflation ⌠and When to Embrace It
The Magically Frugal Power of Patience Â
Donât Spend Money on Shit You Donât Like, FoolÂ
Status Symbols Are Pointless and DumbÂ
Hereâs What to Do With Those Credit Card Pre-approval Offers You Get in the Mail
Your Yearly Free Medical Care Checklist
How to COMPLETELY Insulate Yourself From AdvertisementsÂ
6 Proven Tactics for Avoiding Emotional Impulse SpendingÂ
The Subscription Box Craze and the Mindlessness of Wasteful Spending
Everything I Know About Minimalism I Learned from the Zombie ApocalypseÂ
Thatâs all for now, bitchlings! Weâll periodically update this list as we post new content. In the meantime, if youâd like to support our mission of [checks notes] scathing reportage and dank memes, donate to Bitches Get Riches on Patreon or PayPal with the buttons below!
11.7" x 16½" fine art print on 250 g/m² high quality matte paper, in a signed and numbered limited edition of 25 for $40, and a hand embellished option for $60. Â
8.3" x 11.7" fine art print on 210 g/m² high quality photo paper, in a signed open edition for $25.
if you want to experience life more deeply you have to find more beauty. stop training yourself to dismiss, to mock, to assume the worst all the time â when you do this you build walls between yourself and the world. and after a while you stop feeling the warmth of it entirely.
beauty requires openness. it asks you to let things reach you, to soften enough to be moved. itâs not naive to see beauty everywhereâitâs a skill, a form of intelligence, a kind of quiet bravery. because it is so much easier to critique than to create, to detach than to engage, to dismiss than to love.
let yourself be affected. let yourself find things beautiful and let that be enough. life is not asking you to be cool, sitting on the sidelines and nitpicking everything. itâs asking you to see life and experience it fully.
Best brain hack is taking âthis too shall passâ and applying it in the micro. The panic you feel from an argument with a friend, wanting to get on your phone when you should be studying, the absolute obsession with someone youâre crushing on, pain from rejection, utter hopelessness at a situation that is not entirely hopeless. Heavy on situations that induce panic and incentivize you to act out of turn, maybe to send a text you shouldnât be sending or to blow up at someone or whatever it is. The antidote to knee jerk reactions is literally just âthis too shall passâ and allowing yourself to feel the physical manifestation of your extreme emotion. Literally just ride it out. Even for things that canât immediately be resolved, it makes such a big difference and prevents you from reacting in ways that you would undoubtedly regret down the line.
I feel like this goes so hand in hand with âI wonât act in panicâ like I truly think this should be a boundary everyone has with themself. Panic isnât necessarily just synonymous with fear either. I do feel like outbursts of anger can be an indirect manifestation of panic. Anger really is just the easiest emotion to access. Teaching my brain to tap into the âthis too shall passâ of it all and just riding out the desire to immediately respond really has done so much for me.
This is not to say that you should force yourself not to think about something â that actually makes the craving to act on it worse. Itâs more just allowing yourself to think about it, identifying the physical manifestation of it, letting it palpitate through you, but also recognizing, in the moment, that this is ephemeral and the urgency of it all will pass. My principle lately has been to surrender fully to the belief that a feeling is not forever and will subside no matter how painful.
