liveblogging my descent into madness

Ashley, 38, aroace nonbinary white autistic (she/her) with Chronic Lyme Disease. I post Supernatural (Destiel, Cockles), Good Omens, Malevolent, TMA, The Witcher, and more. I'm a pro-shipper but I rarely post NSFW. I'm a leftist and talk often about social and political issues, mental illness, and abuse. I try to make this a safe space. I am your momdad. I made the Cockles Masterlist.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

hey y'all~

so i have at least a couple dozen comments/proposed edits on the cockles masterlist, and probably a lot of people wondering why i haven't responded to any of them or updated the list in an entire year. i've also been asked if i have plans to continue with it.

first of all, i assure you that the cockles masterlist is NOT abandoned, and i have no intention of ever abandoning it.

however, 2025 has so far been one long kick in the nuts for me personally, with such events as five figures worth of dental procedures and resulting nerve pain in my jaw that i'd rate as the worst pain of my life (which has thankfully abated almost entirely), a national shortage on a medication i was dependent on and rationing it for nearly a month until i could get my hands on an alternative and then adjusting to that alternative, my phone breaking, my fridge breaking, my air conditioner overflowing and dripping through the ceiling, and my mother set to also need five figures worth of dental procedures that i'll need to hold her hand through, along with the general day-to-day business of being extremely chronically ill, with chronic pain, in a country descending to fascism.

in short, i've been a wreck, and it's taken all my energy and strength just to stay on my feet. my already-bad chronic illnesses have been worse due to all this stress, and i was recently down for a couple weeks with a virus, probably because of all that stress.

i love cockles, and i love the masterlist, and i would love to update it, but it takes a ton of mental energy to update it properly. (not to mention focus, which i sorely lack with my unmedicated adhd.) i fully intend to do that when i'm able, but right now i'm just not able.

no one has been remotely unkind about that, or even pressured me to work on it in the slightest, but i just wanted to put this out there for those who have been wondering or perhaps worrying that it's abandoned. thanks so much for all your support, and your interest in my project. <3

[beatricenius]

AU inspired by The Little Mermaid where Ed helps Stede find his way to safety from a storm at sea ⛅️

My Patreon

[bitchesgetriches]

The Expensive Difference Between Recreation and Recovery

Recovering from work is a cost of work... for which you're not compensated. How do we reduce recovery time so we can recreate instead?

The Expensive Difference Between Recreation and Recovery

Have you ever worked a long shift, then gotten hammered with your coworkers while complaining about said shift? Gone to bed early and slept in late after a particularly hard day of work, instead of going on that run with a friend? Scheduled an emergency appointment with your therapist to work out your negative emotions about your shitty boss?

All of that is recovery from work. The money you spend on drinks, the time you lose by sleeping too late on weekends, the emotional logistics and cost of unexpected therapy… all of that is how you recover from the stress, burden, exhaustion, and burnout of your work.

The problem is not just that those costs go completely uncompensated by most jobs. It’s that those costs dig into your take-home pay… like an insidious form of wage theft.

Keep reading.

If you found this helpful, consider joining our Patreon.

[kwistowee]

#rentfree THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS @lotrweek 2025 | Day 1: brown / Hobbit day

[lower-the-volume]

13.05 Advanced Thanatology

[mads-schubert]

Part 7 in my weekly poster series for 2026 | Prints Available Here

[sweet-omens-good-hugs]

[growingdark]

save me Arthur Lester

[librarycards]

they don’t teach people with EDs how to actually respond to diet talk because to do so would mean cultivating and embracing rage. you can’t do that within a medico-psychiatric industry that mandates compliance at all costs. I would very much like to start a workshop for channeling & expressing rage, including and especially toward carceral institutions and authorities, for ppl with EDs… like I want to teach you how to terrify your doctor

[mtfoss]

Genuinely being a self advocate is 99% channelling pure rage

[librarycards]

#HOW are u supposed to respond???#i get hit w diet talk all the time at work and i hate it i hate it#but im sooooo bad at feeling and channeling rage. how do u self advocate!!

with people who do not have medical/economic/carceral power over you:

walk away/physically remove yourself rather than engage

"i am not interested in your thoughts on my lunch"

"I am not interested in your thoughts on my [or someone else's] body"

"did she gain weight?" "it isn't our business/it isn't relevant to you."

"why are you eating that?" "because i'm hungry."

with doctors:

"i choose to decline my weight" (you can always choose to decline your weight as an outpatient)

"i am requesting a larger blood pressure cuff in order to receive an accurate reading"

"i am here to discuss [x]. my time and yours would be better spent addressing my present concerns, rather than speculating on others."

"i am not interested in discussing my eating habits, because it is not currently a priority to change them."

these scripts are YMMV. people are horrible, doctors are abusive, and not all situations can be escaped. grey rocking, putting up an affective/communicative wall for all but the most basic/removed exchanges, is a technique many people use with abusers until they can safely remove themselves; this can be helpful, too. but these scripts are perhaps a starting point to shut down and redirect harmful diet/weight loss talk & refuse social pressure to surveil other peoples' bodies and your own.

[koifee]

So a wizard and an ancient construct walk into a tavern.

[dcmonblood]

SUPERNATURAL (2005-2020) S04E16 ❃ On the Head of a Pin

[thepeacefulgarden]

[thistlearts]

Aziraphale always looked up to Heaven. While Crowley always looked at Aziraphale.

[mewy101]

what if the king picked up gardening while arthur was gone

[hellyeahscarleteen]

"There is no one way everyone — of any given kind of embodiment, sexual orientation or with partners of any given gender or embodiment — experiences sexual pleasure or orgasm. There’s not any one body part or way of engaging a given body part that equals pleasure or orgasm for everyone, or even for the same person every day. Not only can we never say 'everybody likes [whatever]' or 'everyone gets off on [whatever]' we also can’t say 'women like [this thing],' 'men don’t like [that thing],' 'gay people do [this other thing],' or 'straight people do [that one].' Well, we could say those things — many people do all the freaking time — they just will never be factual things to say, and will tend to limit how people frame, explore and experience sexuality."

We're bringing back one of our greatest hits from Heather Corinna today! With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body is one many of you know and love. It's one of those pieces our users have come back to time after time over the years. With Pleasure is our go-to guide on sexual anatomy and one of our most popular pieces because it includes information on more than just body parts. In fact, this piece is a dive into pleasure and the understanding that sexual pleasure is never about just one part of the body in isolation. The beauty of this piece lies in the driving home of the message that no two bodies are ever built the same and thus pleasure looks different for every body!

[melis-writes]

GERALT OF RIVIA | THE WITCHER 3: WILD HUNT dev. CD Projekt RED.

[inacatastrophicmind]