Give me your answer, do by me! Masterpost here
I can tell that Jax needs a break, so I’m giving him the space he needs.
As a result, most of my time these days is spent sitting outside Ragatha’s door, just talking. About something. About nothing. Doesn’t matter, most of the time. I just want to keep her company. I hear rustling sounds and footsteps in her room sometimes, so… at least I know she isn’t abstracted or anything.
I’m worried about her. I know Jax isn't, but… he has a lot to figure out right now. I don’t think there’s any room in his head to really feel right now. So, I dint blame him... I’ve been though the “I can’t feel anything" scenario before.
Ugh, why am I thinking about this? Ragatha is my priority right now. I get up off my bed and start towards my door. Just as I’m about to leave, I slip on a piece of paper by my door, do an overly cartoon-y style fall, and land on my butt.
I can see stars spinning around my head… literally. How much more like a kid’s TV show can this place seem?!? I wonder, massaging my head.
After the stars stop spinning around my head, I find the paper I slipped on and examine it. It’s addressed to me…
All thoughts of Ragatha fly out of my head as I hurriedly unfold the piece of paper. It says SORRY FOR IGNORING YOU. I JUST NEEDED SPACE A BREA SOME TIME SPACE TIME in messy, dark letters.
I read it a few times over, then fold it up and put it on my bedside table. I’ll process and give a response later. Right now, I need to go talk to Ragatha.
I walk down the hall to get to Ragatha's room. When I get there, there's a note pinned to the front of it. In Ragatha's elegant cursive, it says: 𝒫𝑜𝓂𝓃𝒾, 𝐼’𝓂 𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓁𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒵𝑜𝑜𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒢𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓁𝑒. 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝓌𝓃 𝒾𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊'𝒹 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒. -𝑅𝒶𝑔𝒶𝓉𝒽𝒶
I smile. Zooble knows what they're doing, getting Ragatha out of her room. I think I’ll join them, anyway, a swim or even a chill at the beach sounds nice. And it'll help me take my mind off things.
When I get to the beach, Zooble and Gangle are fooling around in the water, splashing and dunking each other and laughing. I spot Ragatha sitting under a tree watching them with a smile, and head over.
“Hey, Ragatha.” I say, making her look up. “Mind if I sit here?”
“No, I don’t mind, sit down,” she says, patting the sand beside her. I drop down onto the ground beside her, hugging my knees.
We sit together like that for awhile, just watching Zooble and Gangle playing together, sometimes having splash fights, sometimes dancing, sometimes swimming, sometimes kissing, and always laughing. They were so happy and perfect together it made my heart feel like it would burst from the overflowing joy. More than anything, I wanted love like theirs in my life.
Will Jax be able to give me that?
Ragatha interrupts the sudden turn in my thoughts with a nervous, forced sounding laugh. “So… you and Jax, huh?”
I start. “Y-yeah… me and Jax. But we… haven’t seen each other in a bit. We're… taking a break, I guess. Some time away to… sort things through.”
“Oh-" Ragatha says. “That's… probably my fault, isn't it? I really should have knocked…” she says guiltily.
I start. “No- Ragatha, of course it isn’t. We really aren't as careful as we should be for people who… want to keep their relationship secretive… someone was bound to walk in sooner or later! And even if anyone hadn't, something else would have happened. It's fine! We can sort this out. I will sort this out.”
Ragatha gave me a tentative smile, still not entirely convinced. “Alright…” she said.
I sigh. “Trust me, Ragatha. None of this is your fault. It's all going to turn out okay.”
I repeat that to myself for the rest of the day, until I fall asleep.
It’s all going to be okay.
This isn't anyone's fault.
It’s going to be alright.