Jazmine's Journal

A blog where I can post anything I'm feeling without fear.

[jazminesjournal]

kind of big time wanna die tonight

[jazminesjournal]

it is so so hard to talk to him about anything and it’s just getting worse and it’s so frustrating!!!! if i have to take responsibility for my feelings and examine other reasons for the things that upset me then why shouldn’t he??? like man fuck off grey i’m so tired

[jazminesjournal]

every time he just says "well" i immediately get this rush and anxiety closely followed by anger because i know he's about to dismiss everything i just said. like!!!! fine!!!!!! don't listen to me!!!!!!!! it's not as if i haven't known you for three and a half FUCKING years!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!

[jazminesjournal]

it is so so hard to talk to him about anything and it's just getting worse and it's so frustrating!!!! if i have to take responsibility for my feelings and examine other reasons for the things that upset me then why shouldn't he??? like man fuck off grey i'm so tired

[jazminesjournal]

highkey wanna die but i mean what else is new

[jazminesjournal]

i'm struggling a lot today with the idea of having a presence

i don't think people really want me around. i think they don't mind if i'm there but if i was missing they wouldn't really... notice. and i guess that's a step up from feeling like people just flat out wish i wasn't around but it's still isolating as fuck and highkey makes me wish i was dead

[jazminesjournal]

god i fucking. hate being in a space where everyone is complimenting each other and feeling like i don't belong

[jazminesjournal]

some snapchats i sent a friend that i don't want to lose because i've never been able to explain this phenomenon any better

[dankmemeuniversity]

[nikeypapi]

[jazminesjournal]

having a really hard time feeling like people want me around and that they're not avoiding me when they don't talk to me for a few days

[coltre]

I like the idea of you thinking about me

[neurosis1999]

Have you ever felt empty inside like there’s nothing you’re passionate about, nothing makes you happy, you haven’t been inspired in such a long time and you don’t know who you are anymore?

[jazminesjournal]

i think i've given up finally....

like. i'm still sad that i can't give my friends what they want. not well at least. not as good as her. i'm still sad that i feel like i may as well not be there. but i'm too tired to fight it anymore

it is what it is. she'll always be able to captivate them in ways i can't. she'll always be able to give everything i want to but a hundred times better

if they forget me because of it. so be it. at least they'll be happy. at least they'll have her

[jazminesjournal]

i've honestly felt like i'm gonna be sick for the last three days because of anxiety and i'm so!!! i'd rather be dead than deal with this!!!!

[jazminesjournal]

i kind of hate that i always think things are my fault. like.... i gaslight myself???

[satanicvaginas2-deactivated2020]

[anxietyproblem]