I literally CANNOT read the words "supine" or "prone" in anything without thinking about that post that's like "supine is when you lay on your s(u)pine and prone is when you lay on your pronis"
will byers stan first human second

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@jcurmudgeon
I literally CANNOT read the words "supine" or "prone" in anything without thinking about that post that's like "supine is when you lay on your s(u)pine and prone is when you lay on your pronis"
hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus
"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.
If it makes you feel any better, he hated it too.
This is the funniest and saddest sentence I've read all week
"derivative and masturbatory"...? Hell yeah i love maths and jacking it
"me but i hate maths" go make your own post about it then damn
#I don't even know what these are but they're cute
They're juvenile takahÄ! Flightless rails native to Aotearoa.
Edit: wait no I think they're pĹŤkeko; takahÄ chicks seem to be stockier.
Thank you!!!
I find the fact that the closest mountain point on earth to the moon, the highest mountain and the tallest mountain are 3 different mountains to be a tiny bit disturbing
Explain
The world's highest mountain is the most beloved, it is mount everest, the mountain that's farthest from sea level. If you connected the other two to everest by a slide and put a ball on everest, it will slide down to the other two (in a frictionless perfect world)
The world's tallest mountain is mauna kea, it's almost 4000 feet taller than everest if you measure from base to top, most of it is underwater though
The world's closest mountain to the stars is mount Chimborazo, it is both shorter and less high than the other two, but it is closer to the equator, so the bulge of earth makes it ever so slightly farther from the center, so it is closer to the stars
So yeah, 3 ways to measure, 3 results
Earth is weird
Watch out friendos, these aren't your standard hit-in-the-balls-with-a-golf-club style home videos
This black cabin floats above the Norwegian landscape
this is my sexy modernist baba yaga hut
This is from an ad for gender-neutral baby clothes, btw.
WHERE IS THE AD OP?!?
@exerian :Â There you go â
Ooh, I know someone with an occupied uterus who would appreciate these! Theyâre actually really cute!
from now on the only gender is goth
Itâs an Addams!
My wife and I were were talking the other day and, I donât remember what we were even talking about, but the idea came up that we would need an oreo for. I joked about getting one from my secret stash. This is where she made her mistake. She said âoh right, like you could have an Oreo stash without me knowing about it.â
Iâm sorry?
Thatâs a challenge.
Oreos aquired.
Iâm going to hide them in a super simple place at first
But be sure to follow this post while I chronicle all the ways and places I hide them and also how I plan on taunting her with cookies while she canât find the package
She is out of the house for a moment so itâs time to enjoy a few cookies
And find a new hiding spot
Hehehe
They up there
Normally Iâm a Oreos with milk kinda guy, but Iâll take coffee if coffee is available
Now to hide them right under her nose
She never looks under the TV for anything. Tonight when we are watching Halloween Wars Iâll have a big dopey grin on my face
Time to up the stakes. It was fun having em here and hiding them around her while she didnât know what was happening. Bit now itâs time for her to be in on the game she is playing
Four cookies packed in her lunch. Game on
Iâve been cleaning house today and feeling like Iâve done a pretty good job. Time to reward myself with some delicious Oreos
Aaaaand put them where she would never find them in a million years
:)
Got up early this morning and helped pack everyoneâs lunch. Pulling a damn Oprah over here
You get some cookies! You get some cookies! Everyone gets cookies!
Then a devious idea struck meâŚ
I put the remaining Oreos in a baggie to hide by themselves. Now to âhideâ the package where it will probably be foundâŚ
And pin the actual stash to the inside of the closet wall
If you two werenât already married Iâd beg you to marry her because you two are obviously perfect for each other and I love this post with all my heart
This guyâs dopey grin at his success at hiding oreos is exactly what Iâm here for
You like that eh? Well you are going to love todayâs installment
Look at that. So sad. So few Oreos left
Guess Iâll just pin em right to the middle of the wall in the middle of the living room. Sheâll never find em there
Oh, guess I should put this back up
Bwa ha ha ha! You guys! You guys donât understand! I was planning on doing this and when I got home and looked at it I was like âaww, itâs too thin. They wonât fit.â I even TOLD my wife this and how I was disappointed that I wouldnât be able to hide them back there.
But then I looked again. They dooooo
Thank you all so much for the love. I knew y'all would like this, but I had no idea you would like it THIS MUCH. People calling us âgoalsâ and stuff⌠ManâŚ. Itâs kinda hard to take in ya know? Anyways: if this post gets Over 9000⢠before I get off work today I will pick up Halloween Oreos on my way home and this will not stop
And, as promised, a dopey grin
Twasnt easy to get the stupid video to load. But I got it and I recommend giving it a watch here: http://keepcalmandcarrieunderwood.tumblr.com/post/179330357103
She is so happy that the Oreo Saga continues. Just look at how happy she is
Came home to find this
But she never looked inside the blue chair
Good stuff, but itâs time for some cookies
Gotta have some while I think about where these guys are going next
Hmmmmm
Got it.
Ohmygosh oh. my. gosh. You guys. Near disaster. Check this shiz out:
Wife and I were sewing Ellyâs Halloween costume up
Yea, she is going to be a spider and itâs super cute and all but. But. Loooook
Holy actual shit the Oreos fell out from the table literally next to her.
The moment she got up I threw them into the closet
Also:shout out to whoever it was that lost a follower for this post
Sry bout that eh.
Man I love learning history because sometimes you learn things thatâs not widely known just like how Beethovenâs Fur Elise was actually made for one of his students that he was in love with named Therese. She was a mediocre piano player so he made a melody so easy that even she could play it and impress people (hence the very iconic tune in the beginning) but then he finds out that she was engaged to a different man and so Beethoven basically made the other parts so that she can never play it and if thatâs not petty culture then idk what is.
everyone says gen5 is better than gen4 but could your precious gen5 do THIS
we saw a lady walking around with two phones earlier and she explained that her husband was putting the baby to bed tonight so she was on Pokemon hunting duty for both of them. thatâs relationship goals if Iâve ever seen it
Yeh because missing out on putting your child to bed to play a game = relationship goals.Â
im looking through the notes of this old post rn and holy shit. holy shit!!!
do you think parents donât ever deserve a break? do both parents have to put their children to bed together every night and never go out for evening walks? does one spouse doing something small and cute for the other spouse offend you so much?
you only get one chance to put your kid to bed and she fucking blew it
The Votes Are In
The People Have Spoken
And The Kereru has been crowned Bird of the Year
This Unit, this Absolute Chunker, now takes his rightful place as the God-King of New Zealand
His first decree: Be Large, Eat Fruits