Probably not.

[werewolf-transgenderism]

I literally CANNOT read the words "supine" or "prone" in anything without thinking about that post that's like "supine is when you lay on your s(u)pine and prone is when you lay on your pronis"

[genderfluid-druid]

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

[genderfluid-druid]

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.

[etriva]

[thedman0310]

[sacred-portal]

[tangledbeast]

If it makes you feel any better, he hated it too.

[gayserblast]

This is the funniest and saddest sentence I've read all week

[tomorrowillbeyou]

"derivative and masturbatory"...? Hell yeah i love maths and jacking it

[tomorrowillbeyou]

"me but i hate maths" go make your own post about it then damn

[mevil]

[untitledgoosegay]

#I don't even know what these are but they're cute

They're juvenile takahē! Flightless rails native to Aotearoa.

Edit: wait no I think they're pūkeko; takahē chicks seem to be stockier.

[orcinus-veterinarius]

Thank you!!!

[david-goldrock]

I find the fact that the closest mountain point on earth to the moon, the highest mountain and the tallest mountain are 3 different mountains to be a tiny bit disturbing

[deez-no-relation]

Explain

[david-goldrock]

The world's highest mountain is the most beloved, it is mount everest, the mountain that's farthest from sea level. If you connected the other two to everest by a slide and put a ball on everest, it will slide down to the other two (in a frictionless perfect world)

The world's tallest mountain is mauna kea, it's almost 4000 feet taller than everest if you measure from base to top, most of it is underwater though

The world's closest mountain to the stars is mount Chimborazo, it is both shorter and less high than the other two, but it is closer to the equator, so the bulge of earth makes it ever so slightly farther from the center, so it is closer to the stars

So yeah, 3 ways to measure, 3 results

[casavanse]

Earth is weird

[jcurmudgeon]

Watch out friendos, these aren't your standard hit-in-the-balls-with-a-golf-club style home videos

[evilbuildingsblog]

This black cabin floats above the Norwegian landscape

[tambourgi]

this is my sexy modernist baba yaga hut

[mysharona1987]

[hrefnatheravenqueen]

This is from an ad for gender-neutral baby clothes, btw.

[exerian-deactivated20181214]

WHERE IS THE AD OP?!?

[hrefnatheravenqueen]

@exerian :  There you go —

[deliriumcrow]

Ooh, I know someone with an occupied uterus who would appreciate these! They’re actually really cute!

[cipheramnesia]

from now on the only gender is goth

[applejuicewerewolf]

It’s an Addams!

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

My wife and I were were talking the other day and, I don’t remember what we were even talking about, but the idea came up that we would need an oreo for. I joked about getting one from my secret stash. This is where she made her mistake. She said “oh right, like you could have an Oreo stash without me knowing about it.”

I’m sorry?

That’s a challenge.

Oreos aquired.

I’m going to hide them in a super simple place at first

But be sure to follow this post while I chronicle all the ways and places I hide them and also how I plan on taunting her with cookies while she can’t find the package

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

She is out of the house for a moment so it’s time to enjoy a few cookies

And find a new hiding spot

Hehehe

They up there

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Normally I’m a Oreos with milk kinda guy, but I’ll take coffee if coffee is available

Now to hide them right under her nose

She never looks under the TV for anything. Tonight when we are watching Halloween Wars I’ll have a big dopey grin on my face

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Time to up the stakes. It was fun having em here and hiding them around her while she didn’t know what was happening. Bit now it’s time for her to be in on the game she is playing

Four cookies packed in her lunch. Game on

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

I’ve been cleaning house today and feeling like I’ve done a pretty good job. Time to reward myself with some delicious Oreos

Aaaaand put them where she would never find them in a million years

:)

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Got up early this morning and helped pack everyone’s lunch. Pulling a damn Oprah over here

You get some cookies! You get some cookies! Everyone gets cookies!

Then a devious idea struck me…

I put the remaining Oreos in a baggie to hide by themselves. Now to “hide” the package where it will probably be found…

And pin the actual stash to the inside of the closet wall

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

[kittyinhighheels]

If you two weren’t already married I’d beg you to marry her because you two are obviously perfect for each other and I love this post with all my heart

[masterofthenightscape]

This guy’s dopey grin at his success at hiding oreos is exactly what I’m here for

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

You like that eh? Well you are going to love today’s installment

Look at that. So sad. So few Oreos left

Guess I’ll just pin em right to the middle of the wall in the middle of the living room. She’ll never find em there

Oh, guess I should put this back up

Bwa ha ha ha! You guys! You guys don’t understand! I was planning on doing this and when I got home and looked at it I was like “aww, it’s too thin. They won’t fit.” I even TOLD my wife this and how I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to hide them back there.

But then I looked again. They dooooo

Thank you all so much for the love. I knew y'all would like this, but I had no idea you would like it THIS MUCH. People calling us “goals” and stuff… Man…. It’s kinda hard to take in ya know? Anyways: if this post gets Over 9000™ before I get off work today I will pick up Halloween Oreos on my way home and this will not stop

And, as promised, a dopey grin

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Twasnt easy to get the stupid video to load. But I got it and I recommend giving it a watch here: http://keepcalmandcarrieunderwood.tumblr.com/post/179330357103

She is so happy that the Oreo Saga continues. Just look at how happy she is

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Came home to find this

But she never looked inside the blue chair

Good stuff, but it’s time for some cookies

Gotta have some while I think about where these guys are going next

Hmmmmm

Got it.

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Ohmygosh oh. my. gosh. You guys. Near disaster. Check this shiz out:

Wife and I were sewing Elly’s Halloween costume up

Yea, she is going to be a spider and it’s super cute and all but. But. Loooook

Holy actual shit the Oreos fell out from the table literally next to her.

The moment she got up I threw them into the closet

Also:shout out to whoever it was that lost a follower for this post

Sry bout that eh.

[616marvel]

Man I love learning history because sometimes you learn things that’s not widely known just like how Beethoven’s Fur Elise was actually made for one of his students that he was in love with named Therese. She was a mediocre piano player so he made a melody so easy that even she could play it and impress people (hence the very iconic tune in the beginning) but then he finds out that she was engaged to a different man and so Beethoven basically made the other parts so that she can never play it and if that’s not petty culture then idk what is.

[dnd-homebrew5e]

[nathanevo]

everyone says gen5 is better than gen4 but could your precious gen5 do THIS

[klefable]

we saw a lady walking around with two phones earlier and she explained that her husband was putting the baby to bed tonight so she was on Pokemon hunting duty for both of them. that’s relationship goals if I’ve ever seen it

[strangevoicesrb]

Yeh because missing out on putting your child to bed to play a game = relationship goals. 

[klefable]

im looking through the notes of this old post rn and holy shit. holy shit!!!

do you think parents don’t ever deserve a break? do both parents have to put their children to bed together every night and never go out for evening walks? does one spouse doing something small and cute for the other spouse offend you so much?

[imlebsian]

you only get one chance to put your kid to bed and she fucking blew it

[bastardbug]

The Votes Are In

The People Have Spoken

And The Kereru has been crowned Bird of the Year

This Unit, this Absolute Chunker, now takes his rightful place as the God-King of New Zealand

His first decree: Be Large, Eat Fruits