To my teenage self,
If you thought your childhood years were hard, wait until puberty hits. Your relationship with your mom is traumatizing and something you'll be talking about in therapy as an adult. Your priorities completely change and you become obsessed with dating.
You grew boobs, you realized looks play a part in this world and you befriended a girl you shouldn't have just because she was popular. You two made fun of your old friends that you once treasured so dearly. Don't worry, one day, you'll apologize to them.
You really should've joined sports or something competitive. Losing your virginity at 15 is so young. You rushed into it and you weren't ready. You still had so so so much more to experience before that.
You also realize that Girls are beautiful creatures. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're not crazy, you're not sick. It's perfectly fine that you're attracted to both genders.
School isn't everything, but continue to study and read the things you're actually interested in. Your mom will scream and yell at you and beat you because you got a bad grade in math.. but don't worry, it's a scam and you'll forever be in debt. It doesn't guarantee anything and wonderful fulfilling life. Oh and if you can, choose a school with the semester system. The quarter system is much too fast paced for you.
Fuck the API crew, they're shallow and don't give two shits about you - hangout with the band geeks, hangout with the anime nerds; your most fond memories of high school will be with them and their loyalty is unmatched and you'll still be friends in your 30s.
Don't take AP classes in high school. They'll make you take placement exams and accidentally put you in way too advanced classes and skip above that you'll be completely loss in and flunk out of and your mom will tell you that you're a failure.
You'll experience heartache for the first time. You survive but it sure does linger. Let yourself feel it in its entirety.
Lastly, stop trying to grow up too fast. Stop trying to become an adult. Stop wanting to be an adult. I promise, it's not as fun as its chalked up to be.
Enjoy feeling reckless.









