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#the invite #it would not be awesome living with that kind of TENSION but she does do a great job with home decor and a cheese board #I could enjoy her decor and cheese board and then go spend my million dollars on home decor and cheese of my own

I told all of my coworkers about the band playing since it was at a county building and I was like “this is my favorite band!”

…but in addition to the songs I like they also did a lot of like “songs for children” where they said “act like a monster truck” or “clap your hands” or whatever. And I kinda hope none of my coworkers showed up???? Because I feel like maybe it’s not clear that they play a different set when they are opening for a rock band at a place that sells alcohol???

Okay poll time if your partner had to masturbate into a cup for medical reasons (if your partner doesn’t have a penis just pretend this is possible somehow), would you want that to be a group activity? Assume the reason for the cup masturbation is not depressing or scary or particularly exciting.

Is the cup a smash or a pass

I think it would be sexy and fun to help

I’m not actively into it but the cup wouldn’t be a turnoff

The cup is a turnoff and I would feel weird about it/not want to participate

Remaining time: 4 days 15 hours

#if it was my cup I would not want an audience #but I’m also terrified and ashamed of having a body at all!

Nate started a fight with me this morning that triggered such white hot rage that I am really having a hard time being normal and kind to people at work!!!! Trying to just be non responsive instead of lashing out at everyone who dares 2 ping me

#also Nate was supposed to jerk off into a cup to get his semen tested to see if the vasectomy worked #and so he started this fight and I was like don’t you have to masturbate in a minute??? why are you starting this fight???#also I felt shackled by the knowledge that he had to jerk off in 10 minutes which just made me MADDER #anyway guess who had to reschedule his appointment at the lab because he started a fight with me and couldn’t jerk off

undeadhousewife

eeby-deeby-dark-and-creepy

Ok now I’m curious… Which do you prefer:

I have lived in and out of the city, I prefer the city

I have only lived in the city, I prefer the city

I have only lived out of the city, I prefer the city

I have lived in and out of the city, I prefer out of the city

I have only lived in the city, I prefer out of the city

I have only lived out of the city, I prefer out of the city

Bald/vanilla extract/I reject dichotomies under all circumstances/I can’t read

Remaining time: 1 day 20 hours

#the only city I have lived in is Paris for 4 months when I was 21 but I think it counts and I prefer to live in the center of a small town #but I do think living in a city was good for me and made me more comfortable traveling in cities and I know that I could live in a city #but ultimately I enjoy small town life because things really do move a little slower ‘round here #(I would die if I had to live 20 minutes down a dirt road like many of my friends and colleagues do though)

Also this is how I found out about the library show. “For kids and you” 🤣

#I could probably sneak into a library event with my county badge and my glasses #but I checked and it is all ages not just kids and me

My week is so exciting!

Wednesday - my favorite local band is playing at the library at 11 and I'm gonna take an early lunch and go over! I thought I couldn't do this because I had a check in and "I wanna see a pop band play for children at the library" didn't seem like a good reason to ask to reschedule but SHE CANCELLED! So I get to go to the pop music for kids show! (Adults are allowed I checked don't worry...)

Thursday - taking the day off, getting a HAIRCUT, might also go camping??? by myself at a first come first serve site?? with a slightly dodgy road??? need to decide if this is a good idea or not...also because there are wildfires about

Friday - going to a friend's karaoke birthday party in Oakland and sleeping at her place! might get boba on the way down! the world is my oyster!

nessa007

Beyoncé, P!nk and Britney Spears appearing in Pepsi's Gladiator inspired commercial (2004)

#tbh this should have been gladiator II

There was a small forest fire a few days ago and they put it out and then today, several days later?? it just started being on fire again??? and this time they’re NOT putting it out, it’s getting a little bit bigger every few hours.

It’s still miles away but close enough that we refreshed our go bags before going to bed.

Something I really hate about my job is that we staff the temporary shelters for emergencies so every time something stressful and scary happens they’re like “want to work more?!” like no. I don’t. I want to drive away from this godforsaken place and get a milkshake or something.

#I don’t have to work the shelters but I do have to be vaguely in the loop on the management of the shelters #and could perhaps need to work or manage the shelters #but really it’s just the idea that I’m a Helper and have to Hold It Together ugh I hate it

takofukkatsumi

Reblog this and tell me what was your biggest crying over a piece of fiction. You can be vague if you don't want to spoil.

#1917 #jojo rabbit #heart the lover #such a fun age #GOD I LOVE CRYING SO MUCH

I loved The Invite a lot, def in the running for best movie of the year. Wonderful filmgoing experience!! Uproarious laughs were had all around.

#also: were they sexy ghosts? pls discuss #I mean they were not but you could read it that way if you wanted to #perhaps a fire #perhaps they’re all ghosts #perhaps a fire a few years ago and then carbon monoxide poisoning in the present #congratulations you can fuck the sexy ghosts now but first you have to go on your own ghost journey of personal rediscovery

I started out looking at bathroom vanities because our bathroom faucet is broken (tried to fix it, keeps breaking) and if I replace the faucet I would also like to replace the vanity because our vanity is impractically tiny and hideous. And then all of a sudden I had daydreamed for an hour about beautiful new quartz kitchen countertops which is NOT something we will be doing anytime soon because while our kitchen finishes are all ugly the layout of the kitchen is also insane (for example it would be impossible to add a hood vent because the stove is in front of the window, so we just try to open the window to vent the gas fumes whenever we cook even if it’s 100 degrees or 25 degrees).

Anyway a new bathroom vanity = will permanently solve a logistical problem and an aesthetic problem for less than $1000.

New quartz countertops = will be part of a full kitchen remodel in which we add a wall so we can move the stove and get a hood vent, which will cost $10000000000 or so. I have got to stop daydreaming about stuff that’s going to happen in a decade if at all!!!

#I can clean the kitchen if I want the kitchen to look nicer #that’s the only option for now

lamignonette

#I find this very unsettling….I keep looking at it and it still doesn’t feel like it should work like that

Nate and I tried to go watch a giants game at a bar because it’s blacked out on our mariners game subscription and no bars had it on??? We live in giants country?? They were playing basketball and the cardinals game???

#I don’t understand sports tv but I thought bars that played sports would play like The Sports

jeblaguejeblog

Invited my dad to watch the Giants Mariners game with us…..his girlfriend texts us back and invites us to go to the grand closing party of literally THE WORST restaurant in town.

I had to respond and be like “we don’t want to because we hate that place sorry”

jeblaguejeblog

SAVED BY HONESTY

Things we like:

You

Baseball

Your house

Things we hate:

That fucking restaurant GOOD RIDDANCE

Invited my dad to watch the Giants Mariners game with us…..his girlfriend texts us back and invites us to go to the grand closing party of literally THE WORST restaurant in town.

I had to respond and be like “we don’t want to because we hate that place sorry”

#we’ve met them there many times before #I hope she isn’t offended

rosefinchie

how it all feels lately

#…..ominous with my most recent post #is my sangria poisoned???? are my cucumbers poisoned????

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