her stare is unwavering, though it softens exponentially when the other begins to speak – genuinely speak. THIS WAS NOT A BURDEN FOR A CHILD, and while senya was perhaps too young when she was chosen to serve the eternal empire, to take space in the emperor’s court as one of his personal war hounds, it is their ideology that makes them different. THE JEDI HAVE BEEN FLAWED FOR LIFETIMES ! in the age of the old republic, and even long into future generations – they ingrained such backwards views of thought, of emotion, of belonging. heavy shoulders roll, her heart does indeed break tahiri, as it had once broken for her daughter / her sons / the life that she had wanted though it hadn’t been real.
the air feels thick with agony, body language alters, tailored to the moment as the former knight steps forward. valkorion had once painted her as weak for such blatant displays of empathy – her children had forsaken her for it. but it had been something she had been allowed beneath the pristine armor of the empire, and it had been something she’d been inclined to keep. a hand outstretches, fingers settling idle on the curve of her companion’s shoulder. grief is a powerful creature, it is relentless and all-consuming if one does not learn to process it, to understand it. ❛ you believe loss makes you unqualified, but they do not teach you that sometimes PEACE COMES ON THE BACK OF CONFLICT - and war takes. ❜
that idle brush turns into a loose grip, her form cranes slightly, eyes boring through her. these are the things that can stunt warriors, her own mentor had gone through such a similar conversation in a way ; war was an evil, designed to be felt on every level both physically and mentally. ❛ sometimes people cannot be saved - from death, from themselves. you should not be left to shoulder such a weight on your own, tahiri. ❜
SHE JOLTS AWAY FROM THE TOUCH AT FIRST, as if she’d been burned. she wasn’t worthy. she should never have been made a jedi knight. the only reason any of this had happened was because she had been reckless. she should have evacuated with the other children on yavin iv. if she had master ikrit would have never died and anakin never would have had to rescue her. maybe then she would have been strong enough to help them properly on myrkr. all she was now was scarred, pitied and alone. everyone treated her with kid gloves because of anakin --- because of what had happened to her. THEY KNEW SHE SUFFERED but they didn’t know what to do about it in the middle of a warzone.
there was more important things than the fact that she couldn’t deal with the grief that had consumed her and rendered her hollow and empty. her existence was insignificant when the fate of the universe was at hand. she did what she could, killed yuuzhan vong when told, used the ability to understand their language to help decipher what she could. she existed, she did not live. ❝ i should have died. not him. they should have taken me. anakin was meant for more than this. he was our future, our HOPE. what am i meant to do without him ? all they do is pity me and whisper. they don’t treat me like they used to because I’M NOT HER ANYMORE. the monsters made me part of them. ❞
all the words rush out of her as she finally relents and gives into the emotions she had desperately tried to push down and hide. all her fear ( unbecoming of a jedi --- it could easily lead her to the dark side in the time of war. jaina had slipped, she could too ) and sorrow that had held her back. shaky hands find senya’s shoulders and she holds onto her for dear life, face hidden in her neck as she begins to sob, months of self induced torment finally freeing itself.
❝ i don’t know what to do. ❞
dededos
andulkaphoto
turnnoffyourmind
2087
snowghoul
stormborns
