Not to out myself too much here, but I think a large part of the reason that I like Garak's characterization so much in a Stitch In Time is because of the clear impact his most primary upbringing has on his behavior well into adulthood. So many of the seeds which the Obsidian Order take advantage of were planted within those early memories! There are a few sections within the second letter/entry of the novel that I have re-read over so many times because they have such a striking resemblance to the emotional landscape that I was raised in. I am sure that I could better articulate these thoughts later (and I might), but I wanted to get them out of my head.
First, I often see people discuss Garak in ways that place Tain's impact on him within a vacuum, but I think Tolan plays a large role too. They both encouraged a sense of hyper-vigilance which underlines so much of Garak's character. With Tolan, we see this idea start with the expectation that nothing should ever have to be repeated less Garak face punishment. Tain takes this principle to several higher degrees. Garak could not just never miss instructions. He could never miss any details that those around him might want.
Tain talks in the series about the fact that what makes Garak special is that he never actually had to ask him to do anything, but why should he have to ask? Garak was trained to constantly anticipate what he might want, and it was successful because there was a pattern. If Garak dedicated himself fully enough to the pursuit of anticipating the wants before they were ever expressed, he could avoid the punishment. This hypervigilance is a trait that is reenforced through both punishments and praise.
Elim Garak 🤝 Me: Both having relationships with our fathers which center around the anticipation of demands and punishment yet still desperately clinging to the idea that with enough effort or work you might be able to earn approval and end the constant cycle
The passages I am referencing most specifically within that letter:
"Father was much older than Mother, and he never said much, but what he did say was always clear and to the point. Anyone who worked for him understood that if he had to repeat himself you would very quickly be demoted to maintaining the city’s sewers."
"He was particular about who cooked and cleaned for him, and depended upon Mother for all his personal needs. I was never sure what it was he did; I just assumed he was important enough to afford a house and a servant."
"But Tain at home was anything but mysterious. It was not unusual for Uncle Enabran to appear and take me away on some excursion that involved a long walk through a section of the city. During these walks he’d test my awareness, and challenge me to describe a house or a person we’d just passed. If I hadn’t been paying attention and couldn’t remember the details, the walk was over and we’d silently return home under the oppressive weight of his disapproval. He also seemed to know how I was performing at school, and if he wasn’t satisfied with my progress or behavior he’d punish me. I was a hard worker but I had a mischievous streak, and I enjoyed getting others involved in questionable activities and arranging it so they were found out and took the blame. On those rare occasions when I was caught, Tain would somehow find out and punish me—not for my misdeed, but for having been caught. And after he discovered my fear of small, dark spaces, his favorite punishment became keeping me in one until I had convinced him that I had analyzed and fully understood how my mischievous scheme had gone wrong. I found it odd that Mother and Father never had anything to say about these punishments."
