mermaid escapade;

[jellyweeds]

This is where words run out of use what else is there left to say when our bodies fit like puzzle pieces what else is there left to say when i lay where your heart does too This is where time stops where your wrist watch and my alarm clocks render useless this is the end of a universe and the insides of a black hole you're the only thing that matters everything else is darkness, white noise and void This is where my heart starts to beat  I've forgotten what it feels like to be loved back I've forgotten how to write about requited love The love songs no longer sound bitter The words make me think of you

a.i, This is where I love you.

[jellyweeds]

1. I want to kiss you in front of paintings, and on rooftops, and under water. I want to kiss you in all the beautiful places 2. It scares me how we go too fast. Every time we take a step, I'm afraid you're closer to letting go. Please don't let me go 3. Love,I won't let go. 4. I'm a mess and also an asshole. I'm known for breaking hearts and putting out stars. so for trusting me to hold yours, thank you. 5. Every time you tell me that I deserve to be loved, I think of all the love I wasted on people that aren't you. 6. I think of how much love poems I wrote and how they spoiled rotten into love letters no one no longer cares about. I regret every single one. 7. Every time you tell me that you love me, I think of how much I always almost say; 8. I love you 9. I love you always

a.i, Things I haven’t said and things I want to say.

[jellyweeds]

Nangangako ako sayo na hindi ako magbibilang kahit ilang beses mo akong irapan at ilang beses mo akong hindi sagutin lagi akong handang magpatawad at magtiis hindi ko bibilangin ang mga kasalanan mo at mas lalo akong hindi magbibilang ng pagkukulang Nangangako ako sayo na kahit ilang beses nilang sabihin na mali ka hindi ako mapapagod umintindi at magbigay at maghintay Nangangako ako sayo na hindi ako magsasawa kahit ilang beses tayong umiyak at ilang beses tayong mapagod Nangangako ako sayo na mamahalin kita ng buong puso

a.i, Pangako.

[jellyweeds]

I used to be a big believer that under no circumstance People cannot be property and I never did fully understand why people were always desperate to own and be owned but to be with you was to know that there is a love that makes you want to be embraced in a warmth that keeps you safe,exhilarated, burning that warmth was you and you make me want to surrender every piece of me I have left my blood, my spine, my hands and in all ways that I am, I am yours always.

a.i, billetdoux 

[jellyweeds]

To my thunder lightning girl, the hurricane in my veins you're the reason i bleed and break you're a natural calamity my lungs cannot take even after you left, Im still following your wake even after you shattered me and left every thing in debris, there are still parts of me I've lost and haven't seen They disappeared with your tsunamis you are my lightning girl, and I, your thunder, light travels faster than sound and somehow, like thunder and lightning we had a miscalculation an off timing an almost you almost loved me, and I almost loved you back we are parallel lines that never get a chance you are a thunderstorm and I have nothing but empty jars, wet pavements, broken promises, and another almost.

-a.i, lightning thunder girl

[jellyweeds]

She asked me, with her almost light brown hair, her sweet smile and her uneasy stare, how do people like you love? I told her, People like me love with  eyes closed but with hands stretched wide open with fingers like baskets ready to catch with blindfolded eyes so I wont take a peak I don’t want to see love No, not even a glimpse You don’t see love through closed doors nor do you see it through glass windows you’ll have to look at it straightly and love is too complex if you stare at it love is too blurry if you look too long I’ve been told That it’s like looking through a kaleidoscope  As it turns and turns endlessly There’s too much colors Too much hues There’s just too much to see Everytime you turn, it’s a different fragment you’ll keep on turning and turning hoping you’ll see the same one again but honey, you’ll have seen enough to know what you’re looking for so keep your eyes closed, so when you’re on top of the Ferris wheel ride and she points to stars when she points to venus and mars know that she points to herself because she is made of what stars are made of and not just stardust, she is a burning light she is a galaxy a universe, too vast, too wide she is your favorite star keep your eyes closed and tell her that tell her, that it’s okay to be blind the bruises fall off eventually but the only way we are going to feel love is if we refuse to see hurt so keep your eyes closed but your hands wide open so you can feel you can embrace so you know what it feels like to fall without ever hesitating to let go of the cliff so keep your hands wide open so when she sits across you and doodles poetry on your palms stretch your fingers let the lines on your palms free so you can catch everything so you can catch the snowflakes that she draws the lightning feeling in her chest the sounds of her voice the metaphors in her poetry or if you’re lucky, her be ready to catch her because she might decide to love you up close she might decide to fall, or fly, or to crumble in your arms and the only way you’ll catch her is if you stop being afraid you don’t have to see the sunset or the blood in her cheeks you don’t have to see the side walk or the valleys in her bones feel everything in your arms I told her, Just love with your eyes closed and your hands stretched wide open

a.i, how do you love?

[jellyweeds]

“I love you” she told him with steady eyes, shaky knees and fingers crossed everytime that she told him It was more of a wish than a promise He told her he was an optimist and she swore that she was too but false hope always found an entrance anxiety always squeezed her hand holding his hand and kissing his lips became hopes for redamancy and the silence between “I love you”s were too much for her she asked him, with steady eyes, shaky knees and fingers crossed “Do you love me?” He held her hand, “Don’t ever worry, I love you always”

a.i, Fingers crossed. 

[jellyweeds]

I used to fill jars of broken hearts and fallen stars with parts of people who tried to love me you see, I'm a girl you can't love up close I don't know how to love myself I don't know how to accept what I do not deserve So I built walls of stick,stone, and bone of cement blocks and regret of anxiety, judgement and hurt These are walls you can't break down I like to think they are stronger than my glass like hands no one can ever love me, I have shadows in my eyes and blood on my knees I have walls to keep me from falling too uneasy too unsteady too easily That's why I collect jars of broken hearts and fallen stars

a.i, never love a girl like me

[jellyweeds]

Ink-less pens,empty hearts This is what happens when you fall apart Blank spaces,miscalculated signs Another lie that you’re just fine This is what happens when you fall apart Meaningless calls,unfinished poetry How could you have fell so easily They didn't tell you How synonymous falling in love was With falling apart We all end up with broken hearts We end up with unused mugs,unread apologies And another “I don’t love you” Disguised in a sorry We end up with cold sheets, the blurred memory of her shoes, the stars she pointed to, and so much things that make you a fool we end up with so much less,and so much more everything you love is never yours an unfulfilled promise of another good start This is what happens when you fall apart

-a.i, this is what happens when you fall apart