...

↣ you could never know what it's like. blood like winter freezes just like ice, and there's a cold l o n e l y light that shines from you. you'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use. did you think this fool could never win? look at me, i'm coming back again. i got a taste of love in a simple way, and if you need to know while I'm still standing you just fade away. don't you know i'm still standing better than i ever did? looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid. i'm still standing after all this time. i'm picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind.

[jemsweet]

chuckhades:

“naturally…” chuck said without thinking before coughing a little bit, “i mean…wow, that’s great news, jem.” he corrected himself. jem’s story sounded really sad. for a moment he hoped his own was more about something like that and less about terrible things he did. “damn…that must’ve been really hard to say the least. i’ve never been in love…i think? so i wouldn’t know what it’s like but it sounds horrible. i’m sorry.” he offered him a half smile. “four years is a long time, plus, they were four important years in a person’s life since you were young and all. what was her name?” he asked as he served him more whiskey. of course he wanted more details who was he kidding. “thanks, i’ll be expecting it. you need to make me look good, say something nice about my eyes like you said earlier.” he teased. chuck sighed in faked annoyance as jem kissed him, “i was going to do it, you just beat me.” he said before kissing him back, his hand moving to cup his cheek. jem’s lips were very soft, even more than he imagined. it was crazy to think about the position they were in right now after so much waiting and then giving up on having anything with him. but right now all he could think of was cherishing the moment and how much he wanted it. 

chuck’s ‘naturally’ nearly did jem in. ah, to one day have chuck’s amount of self-confidence — that’d be nice, yeah? jem screwed his face up in embarrassment at chuck’s attempt to comfort. there was no need to comfort a man so hung up on his ex after so many years had passed. the sentiment was nice, though. he watched chuck top his glass up and raised it to his lips immediately, taking a swig and swallowing it down with a grimace. “olivia,” he answered, the name falling from his lips in a strange tone, somewhere between sadness and fondness for the owner of the name. “that was her name. she was—” captivating? confident? caring and kind? no, that was chuck. olivia was “something else.”  with a snicker, jem slipped his glass between his thighs to free up his hands. “I could go on and on about your eyes, sure, but i think that’d kill my ratings. moderation is key, i s’pose.” jem melted into chuck’s kiss easily, one hand lingering on chuck’s wrist and the other down on his knee to tether him close. it was easy, being around chuck. one of the easiest things in the world. this? probably even easier. 

[jemsweet]

chuckhades:

“yeah, of course i’d be proud of you for at least trying.” he reassured to him fondly. “i’m sure you’ll do my clothes justice, i’ve seen you wear them before and i would definitely buy them for myself.” chuck smirked. he was a very picky person so he made sure that he would always buy his own clothes anyway but having someone like jem model them would increase those chances. the man listened silently, he was very nervous to hear what jem had to say so he took a quick drink from his glass. luckily, they were both on the same page when it came to relationships but he couldn’t help but frown a little bit when he heard jem’s reason. “oh…it’s fine, jem. i’m really sorry to hear about that though. i would never rush you into anything.” in all honesty, chuck would never rush anyone into a relationship. he always had to be completely sure about what he was doing. “but now i’m curious…what happened? you don’t have to answer that but if you do i might exchange your messed up story for one messed up of mine.” he negotiated. “well i try hard to make sense.” he smiled at what seemed to be the best compliment he could get. “i…want to know you too, jem. and if you ever feel lonely or stressed out remember i’ll be over here probably feeling like that too and you can come to me whenever you want.” he chuckled and pat the other guy’s knee, letting his hand rest there. “i think this is the first time in a long while that i don’t care about where i’m going, being the way we are with each other is all i need.” he confessed looking at him. “but i still want my shout out at the radio.” it was different seeing him here. it was weird because before he could handle not kissing him and not being so close but now that they made that step it was becoming so hard not to just kiss him right there. he brushed his hand a little bit up his thigh, his gaze still connected to his almost asking if he could make a move. 

“y’know, i’ve never gotten more compliments on my look than when i’ve worn a hades original.” that was very true. any time he’d been at a Formal Gathering and needed to look his absolute best, jem had gone to chuck for a proper suit and tie. and any time he’d shown up at said Gathering dressed to the nines, he got nothing but admonishing nods and the occasional look of surprise. insulting? endearing? who knew. jem grimaced, deliberating on whether or not he was drunk enough to talk about his infamous ex. a touchy subject, even four years later, but eh, it’d have to come out sooner or later, right? “okay. but only because i want a story in return.” jem sat up a little straighter, fingers wringing together in his lap. “uh, i was with my ex girlfriend for four years in high school. we were, like. proper in love and shit, right? always talking about getting married and living together and having a family — all that shit you talk about when you’re young and stupid and think you know everything.” jem cleared his throat, chewing on his lower lip for a moment before plowing on. “some stuff happened, i guess. i don’t know how long for sure, but some stuff was going on behind my back. and she, uh. she left me. i was planning to move us both up here and start our life together and she wasn’t. and that’s- that’s all i can really say right now. or all i want to say right now. get more alcohol in me and you’ll know more.” jem shrugged, looking back up at chuck’s face. “so i’m not trying to get too ahead of myself here, or go too fast. i’m just here.” a smile tugged at his lips as he nodded, glad to be taking the subject off his ex. “of course. you’ll get your shout-out, no worries.” jem didn’t miss the way chuck was looking at him, or the hand on his thigh, fingers splayed out on his body. he waited a moment, then let out an amused exhale. “well, if you’re not gonna’ do it,” he managed, before leaning in and closing the space between them to lock their lips together in a featherweight kiss. 

[jemsweet]

chuckhades:

“i like your clothes. i mean, i would never wear them but i think it’s cool that you wear whatever you want. that’s a fashion statement itself which i, as a designer, appreciate very much.” he nodded. sure, some of jem’s clothes gave chuck a fashion headache but he liked how genuine and true to himself he was. chuck’s style was a bit more traditional but elegant. he wasn’t very creative as a designer because he didn’t really join the industry by being so, he was just good imitating and making it seem original. he still liked to refer as himself as a designer and give his ‘designer point of view’ though even if the only opinion he could give was as a professional copy cat. “oh, come on.” he rolled his eyes, “you wouldn’t look like a mess. you’d look great and i’d be proud of you. but…you’re definitely not starting at one of my big fashion shows. maybe a little local one and then we’ll see what comes next.” chuck wasn’t trying to be rude but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t extremely selective with his models. “i’m going to be completely honest with you right now…i’m not looking for anything serious, at least for now, so if you want something like that i’m not really your guy.” he sighed and pulled his hand away, not really sure if jem wanted to continue being like that. “i would want what we have right now, you know? just getting to know each other and talking about…things i don’t talk about with anyone else. i have so much fun with you, jem, i don’t know what i’d do if i lost what i already have with you. coming to your studio after long days of work always gets me on a great mood. i’d just want you, you know? and if kisses and…other things are involved then that wouldn’t be so bad either. and maybe later we could try something out, i’m not sure if i’m exactly boyfriend material but if that’s where all of this takes us then…we’ll see.” he confessed. “what about you?”

leave it to chuck to make jem feel good about his questionable wardrobe. he’d have to keep him around, especially for the ego boost. “you’d be proud of me?” jem echoed, a flash of endearment flickering over his features at the thought. how embarrassing. “y’know what? i may just take you up on that one day. i’ll try not to make a huge mockery of your craft, but you started it.” he let chuck pull his hand away, fighting the urge to reach out and take it back selfishly. jem was silent, staring into the void as he listened and picked apart each and every word, looking for a deeper meaning that, honestly, probably wasn’t even there. “i,” he started, eyebrows knit together in deep thought as he tried his hardest to speak like a sober human being, “am still kind of.. i dunno’, messed up? from my last relationship.” four years would be more than enough time for someone to move on easily, but not jem. of course not jem. “i don’t want to be serious right now. or any time soon. not just with you, but with anyone.” he shifted for what felt like the millionth time, rubbing his sweaty palms on his thighs. “but i like spending time with you, too. i like hanging out and talking about stuff and just- just having you around. i’ve got a lot of shit in my head all the time. nothing ever makes sense. except you. you make sense.” he smiled wryly. “i don’t need you to be my boyfriend right off the bat or anything. i don’t know where you and i are going, or if we’re going to go somewhere. but i want to get to know you. i want to keep getting to know you. like this, how you are now. soft, small. i want to know you all the way around.” 

[jemsweet]

chuckhades:

chuck smiled at their hands and brushed his thumb against his. it was nice being like that with jem, he had a way of making him want to be closer all the time. “sure, you can see them whenever you want. not all of them are very detailed, most are just to see what type of clothes would look good on you.” he explained and then let out a laugh as he pictured jem walking. it was true, his walk wasn’t made for the runway which is why he suggested lessons from the start. “well i believe in you and i think that with the right coaching you’d be able to at least make it front and back. and if not you can just act like it’s part of the style, you know, like a signature.” he looked up at him. “are….we still talking about business or just you and i?” chuck asked as he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 

“i’m sure anything you’ve drawn is far and away better than what i wear on a day to day basis.” seeing as his job didn’t really require being seen, jem spent a solid sixty percent of his time in jeans and crazy printed shirts. he was surprised chuck had ever given him the time of day, what with the wild yellow and purple shirt he’d had on on the day they met. “oh, definitely. florals for spring, but also a strange man traipsing down the runway, looking like a complete mess. sounds like a plan.” jem shrugged, pulling chuck’s hand into his lap and playing idly with his fingers. “less about business. more about you and i, if there ends up being a you and i. wh-what would you want from me?” 

[jemsweet]

chuckhades:

“so you just guessed it would be nice? i’m glad to look like a guy who’d be nice to kiss.” he chuckled. jem seemed really stressed out and chuck couldn’t help but reach for his hand to comfort him, rubbing his thumb against the back of it. his hands were cold as always but he hoped that the friction would keep the guy warm enough to soothe him. “yeah…a bunch.” he looked down shyly, “you can see them if you want, i’ll just have to go get the notebook. they’re not that good but i think they’re pretty…proportionate. i’m good with lengths, you know? i never waste any fabric.” he said proudly, sounding a bit more like a brag. “oh, shut up.” he laughed softly, “your facial structure is amazing…very model-like. you could model if you wanted…i could get someone to train you and everything.” he offered sincerely. “thank you.” chuck gave him a smile and tilted his head a little for his touch, trying not to lose eye contact this time. he didn’t like the idea of making things complicated for anyone, as a matter of fact, he had always taken pride on being someone who could make things easier for other people even if that involved being a bit bossy. “things aren’t complicated, you’re just seeing them in a complicated way. i honestly feel extremely flattered to even make you question yourself.”

oh, he looked like a guy who’d be nice to do more than just kiss, but that wasn’t something jem really wanted to get into. he watched their hands for a moment before turning his palm over and intertwining their fingers. it was nice, comforting. something jem really, really needed at the moment. noting chuck’s subtle brag, jem beamed as he gave a fervent nod. “i’d like to see them one day, if you’ll let me. i’m sure you’ve done my face justice. more than, even.” jem fought the urge to laugh at chuck’s very kind lie. he had newborn giraffe legs and a walk to match. “mate, if you can get someone to teach me to walk in a straight line, i’ll model a garbage bag for you.” dropping his hand from chuck’s jaw to their tangle of fingers between them, jem hummed thoughtfully. “alright, then. let me just ask you something. let’s say you and i -” he paused to wave his hand in a forward gesture, “yeah? what would we- like, what do you want? i don’t have much to offer you, ‘cept maybe a shoutout on the radio.”

[jinscl]

&.* SNAPCHAT. 💄

[jemsweet]

dvisypetals:

DAISY: i guess i am both DAISY: this sux DAISY: pray 4 me DAISY: you got any nyquil

JEM: all i can offer u,  JEM: in this trying time ,  JEM: is Good Vibes  JEM: and bedrest and fluids :( 

[jemsweet]

chuckhades:

“i’m glad we’re having this conversation. i mean it’s better late than never.” he gave him a half smile. “i was scared too and that’s what got me thinking if we would be good together or not. maybe you’re just feeling this because you’re getting cold feet about alex. like i said, jem, we’ve been talking for a while and i buried those feelings deep inside a long time ago. i think it was just the kiss you know? like you needed someone so it felt nice to kiss me because i’m someone and i had a crush on you.” he shrugged. “you can still kiss me whenever you want to though.” he said with a small smirk. “yeah, maybe you should talk to him too. maybe this is a sign that you shouldn’t hurry into anything right now.” his eyes were involuntarily coming to jem’s lips. “that would’ve been nice. past me would’ve been so excited to hear this.” he smiled. “oh-” chucks cheeks turned a light shade of red, “when i made clothes for you? i drew you too…you know…partly for the sketches. i have a bunch of drawings of you in the sketchbook i was using at the time.”

was it really better late than never? shit would be way easier if nobody ever had to disclose how they felt about anything ever, if you asked jem. not that anyone had. “i wouldn’t have kissed you - or let you kiss me, for that matter - if i didn’t think it would be nice,” he mumbled, pouting down at his hands. “i don’t know what i’m going to do, honestly. about you. about us. about alex. fuck.” regardless of the heavy weight on his chest, jem managed a short laugh as he shook his head. “i’ll keep that in mind, yeah?” attention fixed on chuck’s face, jem raised an eyebrow quizzically. “a bunch, huh?” he found himself scooting closer, amusement on his features where utter confusion had been only a moment ago. “so you spent a lot of time looking at me. how embarrassing for you.” before he could really process what he was doing, jem was reaching a hand up to cup chuck’s jaw gingerly, forcing their eyes to meet for a long moment. his eyes were glazed over and his whole body felt warm as he studied every facet of chuck’s face, trying to commit it to memory. “you have pretty eyes,” he slurred slowly, brushing the pad of his thumb over chuck’s cheekbone. “why’d you have to come along and make things complicated?” 

[lauren-eliza-weirdo]

[jemsweet]

chuckhades:

chuck couldn’t help but grin at jem’s little story. he could even feel his lips pressing against each other to contain himself for smiling even more. he could definitely see it (jem’s scenario) and it was all really sweet to imagine. chuck let out a loud sigh, “why didn’t you tell me?”, he rubbed his temples, “i could’ve done something, you know? maybe we could’ve been something, jem.” he mumbled that last part. “i fucking drew you and shit.” he let out a chuckle. the little ramble about how alex was to him was nice to hear but also a bit painful. chuck knew he could’ve been that person for him, the only thing jem had to do was ask and he could follow those feelings and see where they took him. that was a bit scary to think. his heart almost stopped for a second when he heard those words. ‘same shit could be said about you, though.’ that was all chuck needed to here. it was interesting for him to hear someone else thinking of people as objects. chuck knew he was an object in this and that that was okay because he did that too. “you’re important to me too.” he breathed out and looked at the other man. jem looked so lost and he just wanted to hug him. to feel him like in his little rain story. his hand reached to hold his leg where it landed softly, almost like a ghost, it continued to brush against his hand and then his arm. “Jeremy…I’m going to be very objective with you right now.” he said quietly, his nose to his ear. “think.” he whispered and connected his lips with his, just a small peck. “i think you should think about what would have a better outcome.” he shrugged slightly, “do you really think that we…?” he gestured back and forth to them. 

jem felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach at chuck’s insistence that they could’ve been something, had he just gotten over himself and said something as soon as he’d felt it. “i don’t know,” he breathed, shaking his head in frustration, eyebrows knit together. “i guess i was scared of having this conversation? i mean, looks like it would’ve happened anyway. so. i guess i was scared that you’d be right.” squeezing his eyes shut, jem willed an answer to fall from the sky and into his lap, replacing the glass that was nearly empty. his head was swimming and he felt an unsettling warmth in the pit of his stomach, like a slow burn making it’s way to the tips of his fingers as he clutched the glass in a vicelike grip. he opened his eyes when he felt chuck’s hand on him, sturdy and reassuring, and looked up at the sound of his full first name. he stayed silent, eyes fixed on chuck’s face as he spoke, so confident and sure of himself. jem wanted that, wanted to be like that. and then chuck’s lips were on his again and maybe it was the whiskey coursing through his system or maybe it was the want want want in his chest that had him chasing chuck’s lips when he pulled away too soon, jem wasn’t sure. he watched the other man’s gesture between them, realized it was his turn to speak, and just- just didn’t. he stayed still, staring at chuck’s face and waiting for a ‘here’s what you have to do next’, or anything in the same vein. when nothing came, jem’s shoulders sank. “i think i really should’ve said something sooner,” he admitted, eyes darting down to chuck’s lips very conspicuously. “and i think i need to talk to alex now, too.” he sat up suddenly, lips pressed together firmly before he could spout anymore bullshit. “whaddya’ mean you drew me?” 

[jemsweet]

chuckhades:

“thank you, i take pride in my perceptive powers.” he grinned then listened. he didn’t know about that, he didn’t know about that at all. all of this time chuck thought he was the only one interested between jem and him. he had no clue that the other boy even thought of a plan to get to know him better. “so…that wasn’t how you wanted it to happen?” he asked as he took a sip from his whiskey, “how did you want it to happen then?” chuck asked curiously. jem made it seem like he had a whole plan about how he wanted to approach chuck which made him extremely happy for some reason. thinking about people wanting order always got him in a good mood. but now he was with another guy and maybe every possibility he had in the past about being with jem was gone. “i mean…i know what the media knows…i know you’ve gone out with him because you told me but i don’t really know if there’s anything more going on. we don’t usually talk about these things…and we can stop now if you want and maybe talk about other more important things.” he shrugged. “jem i…i didn’t know you wanted to know me as much as i wanted to know you. i wish you had told me something, you know? at least to know you were interested in me.”

     jem smiled down at his glass as he weighed the pros and cons of telling chuck his fantasy first kiss with him. eh, if it all went to shit he could blame it on the liquor. speaking of which... jem took another swig and swallowed it down slowly, grimacing at the burn in his throat. “uh, i dunno’,” he started, pursing his lips thoughtfully. “i always thought it’d be in our spot outside, where we met. i thought you’d be wearing your nicest suit and i’d be wearing nothing -” he grinned and shook his head, showing he was kidding about that last part, “it’d be pouring rain. you’d be whining about keeping your suit dry and i’d pull my jacket open to tuck you in under my arm. and we’d look at each other in the rain like we’re in some fucking movie. and we’d kiss. and it’d be cool.” nice. jem bit his lip nervously. he had to tell chuck about alex. and he probably had to tell alex about chuck, too. running away and starting a new life in guam seemed easier, though. “well, he- we’ve gone out a couple times,” he said, thumbing over the rim of his glass. “he’s kissed me and i’ve kissed him back. i think he might want to, like. be more one day? he’s- god, he’s such a nice guy. really sweet, fun to be around. i don’t think he’d ever try to screw me over or hurt me.” with a huff, he finally lifted his head and looked over at chuck. “same shit could be said about you, though.” jem smiled sadly, shrugging his shoulders. “and i don’t want to put either of you in this awkward situation, y’know? you’re not objects. you’re both people who are very important to me.” he shifted in his seat, turning to face chuck head-on. “tell me what to do.”

[jemsweet]

chuckhades:

“hmm…” he let out as he thought for a little bit, “you kind of look like a rockstar but a...soft one, y’know, like the ones who eat kale and organic stuff. bohemian emo is your aesthetic.” he nodded to himself feeling, proud for coming up with a label. “i’m adding the emo part considering all of your instagram is black and white and you tweet angsty quotes every now and then.” he teased. chuck listen to the boy and just nodded, if he wanted to talk about it they could talk. he took a sip from his drink as he tried to process what the other man was telling him. “well…i had a huge crush on you, jem. you were ‘the handsome guy that works at the building next to me’. sometimes i’d smile at you and you’d smile back at me and it was great, it made my day a bit happier to see you walking by. then it turned out we had the same smoking spot which also made me happier so i tried to come up with some cool conversation because i didn’t want to seem like a bother but i kind of wanted to stay there and talk to you. then we talked more and wow…it was amazing, we’re so different but connect so well. at the time i didn’t really know if you were into guys or not so i tried not to be obvious and since you didn’t really seem to show interest i decided to forget about it. now we’re good friends and i’m perfectly fine with that.” he smiled. “i mean that kiss…was…” he blushed slightly and looked down, “it was great. i had been waiting a long time for that…and i wouldn’t mind doing it again but- i also want you to understand that i’m okay with being just friends, i like being your friend…please don’t feel pressured into having to commit with me or anything. especially since you have that thing going on with alex.”

     who needed buzzfeed quizzes or shady psychics when chuck could take less than a minute to read jem’s vibe to a t? bohemian emo seemed fitting. an odd pairing of words, but fitting. jem mulled over chuck’s explanation for a short while before giving an enthusiastic nod. “as long as you’re not knocking my fancy instagram, i’m all about everything you just said.” chuck barely got five words out before jem was knocking back another swig of his drink. never mind the burn in his throat when his head was swimming before chuck had even finished his sentence. he cradled his glass in his lap, staring down at the rim of the cup and listening, processing, resisting the urge to fling himself out the nearest window. even when chuck had finished, jem remained silent, unmoving. the pregnant pause was too much to bear after a moment, and he finally cleared his throat and gripped the glass a little tighter. “you- i saw you outside,” he started slowly, furrowing his brows as he spoke to his whiskey. “i saw you smoking, all done up and looking fancy in your suit. you looked so calm, like nothing ever bothered you. like you weren’t struggling to keep your shit together. and i wanted to know what that was like. so i bummed a cigarette off my coworker and went out and joined you. i just wanted to know you. and i did. and then i wanted more. and then the other night, in my office? it wasn’t exactly how i wanted that to happen. but i’d be lying if i said i didn’t want it to happen at all.” jem let out a groan, closing his eyes and sinking down in his seat. “so you know about me and alex, then?”

[jinscl]

&.* SNAPCHAT. 💄

[jemsweet]

dvisypetals:

DAISY: i thought i was hungover DAISY: but in reality i’m sick ??? DAISY: wtf i h8 this send help sos

JEM: or ur both ???  JEM: rip in peace :/ 

[jemsweet]

text message ; jem

alex: what can i cook u this time?

alex: my kitchen is open for requests

jem: i should cook for u this time!!

jem: ur about to have the best grilled cheese of ur LIFE

[jemsweet]

chuckhades:

“thank you, i appreciate that very much.” he gave him a sincere smile. chuck moved a little bit to the side so his friend could have some room on the couch. he wasn’t usually a touchy person but having him this close really made him want to snuggle next to him- which of course he didn’t do. the man let out a chuckle, “i don’t think that’s really your aesthetic. you have a bit more of a musician vibe going on which i think is hot. carton of french fries on the side of the road? not so much. i can’t even picture that as an aesthetic.” he said as he tried to picture it. “alright.” the man smiled and served some whiskey for his friend and for himself. “i’m glad you want to talk about it…you seemed kind of nervous and i wanted to help but i didn’t know if you wanted to avoid the subject. i don’t mind waiting until you’re not sober though…we can talk about other things.” he reassured him.  

     “then why don’t you tell me what my aesthetic is?” jem asked over the rim of his glass, raising an eyebrow at chuck as if to challenge him. “since you’ve got such a keen eye. what kind of vibe do i give off?” okay. alright. time to sit and analyze his feelings. jem could do that! really. fuck. “i’m a little nervous,” he admitted, as if it was some shocking truth that couldn’t be figured out on just one glance. “no, we should talk about it. just get it over with, yeah?” he took a quick swig of his drink, squeezing his eyes shut as he willed the liquor to work it’s magic as soon as humanly possible. “okay. the, uh- your message. what did that mean?” what? the message had made perfect sense! whatever, a start’s a start. “i mean, like. i know what it meant. but did it- does it still apply? or was the other night just a one-off?”    

[jemsweet]

@jemswole: if beyoncés pregnant with twins i'm pregnant with twins

[jemsweet]

text message ; jem

alex: i could definitely vibe with that

jem: then its settled

jem: six uninterrupted hours

[jemsweet]

chuckhades:

“really? how so?” he asked as he went to get the bottle and two glasses. “i just think that… the place where you live has to feel comfortable to you, you know? and i’ve been reading some articles about minimalism. you can’t really be a minimalist and a fashion designer in my opinion but you can at least try to bring some of that to your home or your life.” he said before sitting down on the couch. “we could move all our lunchtime chats to here if you want, we’re not that far away. my couch is also way comfier than the studio’s desk.” he smirked making a reference to the other day. he wasn’t sure if it was a one time thing or not. he really did hope it wasn’t. “so…do you want me to serve you a glass? or would you like to mix it with something else?”

     “i dunno’. it’s very neat. really nice and fancy. very you.” ooh, suave. jem made his way into the living room area and sank down onto the couch, more than ready to go when he saw chuck coming back with a bottle and glasses in hand. “see, i want to have some kind of aesthetic like that. right now, my aesthetic is, like, a carton of french fries left on the side of the road. or something as sad as that.” jem caught the reference towards the desk in his station, remembered that it was much sturdier than he’d anticipated and briefly wondered if it could hold the weight of two people. what a mess. “i can take it straight, that’s okay,” he said graciously, shuffling to the edge of his seat. “i gotta’ be honest, though. i came to talk about some stuff. your message. things. i don’t know. but i can’t do that sober.”