[Genshin Impact] Xiao | Gentle Understanding
"I am Alatus."
The confession of his name to her was an action that Lumine knew to carry a very important meaning. He trusted her.
Xiao trusted her.
She laid on the grass staring out at the starry sky above her. It has been a few weeks since she's returned from that chaotic place below the Chasm. Lumine let out a soft sigh, and she slowly got up.
There's no point in trying to sleep when my thoughts are filled again. Lumine gently tucked Paimon in with her blanket and slipped away from their camp. There was no destination in mind, Lumine just wanted to walk around, get some fresh air, and maybe clear her mind.
Though she knew that clearing her mind would be hopeless. The only thing that's been on her mind has been Xiao. At the fleeting thought of him, she gently touched the crystal fly that adorned her hair. She never did take it off after he had handed it to you the first time.
A smile tugs at the corners of her lips as she remembers how awkward Xiao was when he handed the crystal flies to you. He couldn't really make eye contact with her after he handed the gift. Yet as soon as Lumine broke eye contact with him, his gaze rested on her. He had an expectant gaze, and she hesitated as she fumbled for a location to tuck the crystalfly into.
He was so cute. Lumine lightly chuckled to herself fondly. She stopped walking and glanced around. Somehow she found herself overlooking the ocean on a cliff, a very familiar one too. This is where I found him during the Lantern Rite festival.
Lumine surveyed her surroundings before gently sitting down close to the edge. Her feet barely dangled over the cliff, and the salty ocean breeze washed over her with the brisk wind. It was a bit chilly, but she didn't mind. She's experienced worse on Dragonspine after all.
A slight shiver ran down her back and goosebumps ran over her arms. Lumine pulled her legs in slightly for warmth, but was genuinely startled upon feeling something soft and warm drape over her shoulders. She recognized the blanket from her stays at Wangshu Inn and she turned around, surprised to find Xiao adjusting the blanket for her.
His eyes widened slightly upon meeting her inquiring gaze and he softly stated, "You seemed cold."
"A little bit," she responded. The warmth from his hand permeated through the blanket and she tugged it closer around her. "What are you doing here?"
"Patrol," his response was curt and sharp. He moved away from her once Lumine wrapped the blanket close around her. He stood a little bit away, off to the side, and it felt weird. It was almost as though he was putting some space between the two of them again.
"Come sit by me," Lumine softly asked. The heat on her cheeks was a clear indication of her embarrassment for asking something so strangely intimate. She almost wanted to change her mind as she fiddled with the hem of the blanket and stared at her fingers. Yet when she finally looked up and towards him, he was already eye level, sitting comfortably close enough, yet not too close as to encroach on her personal space.
His gaze met hers and he slightly tilted his head, before asking, "Is something wrong?"
There were so many ways to answer that question. There was nothing wrong with her physically. There was nothing wrong with her journey at the moment. She was just wandering around and checking in on old friends while chasing cold leads about her brother. So in a sense, there were some things that were wrong.
Lumine looks away, breaking away from his gaze was hard, yet she knew that she would not be able to focus otherwise. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she softly admitted, "I couldn't sleep tonight."
Xiao sat there patiently. It was clear that he would continue to sit there until Lumine was ready to speak. He had all the patience in the world when it came to her after all. Lumine curled herself tighter into the blanket. Her head rested on her arms that wrapped around her knees and continued, "I was thinking of you."
She doesn't miss the way Xiao's eyes widened. She doesn't miss the way his gaze flicked away from her momentarily to the horizon. But she does miss the way he very subtly cleared his throat. His gaze locks with hers and she boldly stated, "You trust me."
The sharp intake of breath was audible in the silence of the night following her statement.
"I do."
His gaze is gentle, and Lumine feels her heart beat quicken at the softness in his eyes. It was a softness she had only just noticed. Lumine had only become more aware upon learning his name.
"Alatus."
It rolled off her tongue so seamlessly, and she sees the way his entire body became alert and even more aware of her.
"Yes, Lumine?"
Lumine. It was rare for Xiao to refer to her by anything besides traveler. Perhaps that was why her heart was pounding in her ears and it felt like there was a lump in her throat. She may have felt cold earlier, but the warmth that flooded and overwhelmed her from this interaction was making her slowly lose her train of thoughts.
"Is it okay?"
Xiao tilted his head in confusion. A few stray strands of hair falling over his face. Lumine slowly reached out, tucking them behind his ear, and she swears it felt like her fingertips were burning upon contact with him.
"Is.. is it okay for me to call you Alatus?"
Xiao nodded, "If it's you, yes."
"Alatus…"
Lumine whispered his name into the winds, and while the breeze may have carried it away, Xiao heard it. A small smile was evident on his face. "Yes, Lumine?"
Lumine struggled to keep a straight face and she softly murmured, "Your name is nice. It's pretty."
"Pretty… thank you," Xiao looked away, his gaze turning to the stars shining above the two. "I have not had someone to call me by my name in a long time."
She watches as he closes his eyes and the wind sweeps over them both, blowing his hair out of his face and causing her to look away before the wind blows something into her eyes.
"Thank you, Lumine. When I am with you, I feel at ease." His confession was barely above a whisper, yet it made her feel like she was on cloud nine. Her face felt hot, and she knew that if it weren't for the fact that it was night time, he would see that her face was burning.
"Lumine, are you alright?"
Xiao's face was right in front of hers, and that cool touch on her forehead. Oh no, that must be his hand. Yet despite her own mortification, she couldn't look away. She couldn't pull herself away from his touch, and she finds herself leaning towards the coolness of his hand instead, much like a kitten nuzzling up to a hand for pets.
"You're burning," Xiao mumbled and Lumine laughed, "I'm not sick, I promise."
His brows furrowed in doubt, and Lumine struggles to hold back her laughter.
"Are you sure? Your face is… hot, and flushed."
"I'm certain," Lumine answered. She let go of the blanket, and loosely draped it over her shoulders. She appreciated the cool breeze. It was much needed after working herself up over him - Xiao, Alatus.
Alatus.
His name rolled so smoothly and she still felt the warmth and giddiness in her chest at the insinuations of him giving her his name.
Trust.
That was the biggest factor. Xiao, conqueror of demons, and a yaksha that avoided humans at all cost had let her in. She let out a soft sigh and found herself closing the gap between the two of them, nearly falling into his arms.
Xiao reflexively catches her, and helps her balance her weight so she's leaning comfortably on him. He's confused, but he doesn't deny that he is alright with the situation. He's okay with Lumine being near. If it was Lumine, it was okay. Perhaps more than okay.
"If you say so," Xiao relented and asked, "Did something happen today?"
Lumine was leaning against his side, and she shook her head. He can see the smile slip away, a moment of sadness tinging it before she speaks.
"I thought I found a lead to my brother. But… it went cold." Lumine shuffled herself slightly, and she brought the blanket closer, but this time she wrapped it around the two of them. "I'm just tired. I feel like I've made no progress."
"I understood your frustrations." Xiao softly acknowledged Lumine's pain and mumbled, "I know the frustration of having nothing to follow, no clues, no hints, no paths left behind for me to understand where they went."
"Bosacius."
Xiao nodded and Lumine softly continued, "But you continued nonetheless."
"I did. I did not want to give up," Xiao paused, "You should not either."
The gasp that escaped Lumine was not one she expected either. She did not think that those curt words of encouragement would be all she needed. She didn't know, but she appreciated it so much. She needed this encouragement.
"Thank you." Her voice cracked and she lowered her head, attempting to hide her face in the blanket. Her shoulders shook ever so slightly and Xiao hesitantly placed an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him, allowing him to hold her close as the pent up emotions were finally released.
It was the reassurance that things would eventually get better. Lumine knew that more than anyone else, Xiao would understand. He's gone through so many years trying to figure out what happened to Bosacius. While Bosacius may be gone from this world, Xiao was able to find the closure he needed.
Lumine's walls slowly crumbled and fell apart. She turned to him, her tears gradually turning into sobs, yet she tried her best still not to completely break down. She didn't want to, not like this. But the warmth from Xiao and the way he held her closely, gingerly and tenderly made her feel like she was truly safe enough to finally be vulnerable and honest with her own insecurities and fears of her goals in finding her brother.
Xiao awkwardly held her closer. He's never had anyone this close to him before. He's kept everyone more than an arm's length away. Yet when it came to Lumine, he didn't mind having her so close. He quite enjoyed her company, and while he wasn't expecting her to ever be close enough like this, he felt happy that she trusted him enough to let him comfort her.
He gently rubbed circles on her back, and perhaps that was all the coaxing needed for Lumine to finally let herself cry everything out. All those months of holding back her concerns and fears that her brother would never come back to her were finally released. Her hands desperately clung onto Xiao's shirt as her entire body shook.
Neither of them know how long they sat there as Lumine cried in Xiao's arms. She felt safe, warm, and protected. Her sobs were small hiccups now and she was resting completely on him. Xiao had no issue with it as he simply held her close, his hands awkwardly patting her back and occasionally combing through her hair.
Lumine took in a deep breath and softly murmured, "I'm sorry, I-" She paused, struggling to find the words to explain what was going on. "I… I didn't think that-" Her throat was hoarse from crying, and her thoughts were still muddled. It was the first time in a long time where she was finally able to let her emotions run freely.
"You're okay," Xiao responded. His voice is low and gentle. There was a hint of tenderness in those 2 words. Lumine shook her head and Xiao sighed, "You are alright, Lumine. It's okay to cry."
At Xiao's reassurance, Lumine finally relaxes her body and she slumps towards him, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt him tense slightly before relaxing and she mumbled, "Can I stay here for a little longer?"
Xiao nodded, but he hesitated before holding Lumine a little closer. She clung onto his shirt and softly muttered a thanks before closing her eyes.
"Alatus."
"Hm?"
"Thank you." Lumine didn't have the words to explain, but she was certain he understood her. Xiao understands more than anyone else how lonely it is trying to find someone that no one else seems to know about. She closed her eyes and slowly regained her composure. As her breathing slowed and steadied, she found herself getting more comfortable, and sleepy.
I can't fall asleep on Xiao though. That would be… really.. rude.. and also.. embarrassing…
Xiao glanced down at Lumine, and he softly called her name. Yet there was no answer, just steady breathing as Lumine finally succumbed to sleep. A small breath of relief escaped him and he shifted himself slightly, adjusting his and her position so that she could rest comfortably.
His hand rested comfortable around her waist as she slept peacefully for the first time in a long time. He doesn't know when was the last time Lumine looked this at peace, and he hopes that his company had helped her, even if it was a little bit.
Xiao never would have thought that he would ever be a source of comfort, but being around Lumine has made him realize that he's not just a weapon to fight demons. But someone, no, a person that was allowed to find happiness.
Good night, Lumine… and thank you.