hi! i've come to the conclusion that i will no longer be writing any fics or smaus moving forward. thank you for all the support for my few fics i've written in the past :)
ᝰ synopsis .ᐟ getting into a dance class again wasn’t something on your bingo card of the year. neither did you expect the random dance class you signed up for in a japanese dance academy, while on your trip to japan, to be a couple dance class. but it wasn’t as bad as you thought, you got to know osaki shotaro. (plus lots of denial.)
ᝰ pairing .ᐟ dancer!shotaro x fem!reader
ᝰ genre .ᐟ suggestive // written
ᝰ word count .ᐟ 2.6k+
ᝰ warning .ᐟ mentions of boners, grinding, praise kink, kissing, and sex
ᝰ author's note .ᐟ happy birthday to sho-kun!! i watched an old shotaro-focused fancam i had in my gallery and missed seeing him dancing so idea got churned out from the brain factory T^T totally not inspired by the fact that he was once a student under expg studio and that one pre-debut couple dance stage,,,
the last time you went to a dance class was in middle school, during your school break. ever since you quit from the school dance club, you just never went back to dancing. it wasn’t that you fell out of love with dance, you just had other things you were more interested in learning, like playing musical instruments, and art in the form of drawings and paintings.
you still took up dance opportunities in school, like when your middle school teacher asked you and your schoolmates to come up with a k-pop dance cover piece for your school exchange trip to a korean middle school – though that never happened due to rising politics that prevented the whole trip from proceeding. but here you were, in japan, signing up for a dance class at the top japanese dance academy recommended by your friend.
the academy was a well-known dance academy that produced a lot of japanese idols – or so you were told by your friend. you didn’t know much about japanese idols, as you only remembered the past where you were introduced to some of them by a classmate who loved j-pop. the introduction left a distasteful feeling for you as it seemed like they had mediocre dances and relied severely on looks to sell, which you didn’t appreciate as a dance lover. at least k-pop had impactful and fresh choreographies, along with the looks. you preferred k-pop dances, remembering your days taking dance classes at 1MILLION years ago, even attending some classes with k-pop idols like A.C.E and The Boyz before they became famous.
impulsively going to a dance class in japan was an opportunity to learn more about the japanese dance scene but you didn't realise the problem you had until you were signing the registration form. you couldn’t read japanese. understanding conversational japanese was one thing, but trying to figure out hiragana, katakana and kanji all at once was a brain overload for you. you even forgot the existence of translation apps. that’s how you ended up in a couple’s dance class. you couldn’t read japanese well, and accidentally signed up for the wrong class. you just saw ‘プ’, read as ‘pu’ in japanese, and assumed it was ‘hip-hop’. you didn’t even fathom for it to mean couple instead of hip-hop.
it’s just a dance class anyways, not a big deal.
entering the dance class 30 minutes before it started, you had concerns whether you were going to have someone to partner with after belatedly realising your class was one to be danced in pairs. everyone seemed to be stretching in pairs while you were the only one alone. you couldn’t find anyone that you could pair up with, even as the dance class started.
“anyone doesn’t have a pair?” your dance instructors, who introduced themselves as nakamura and nana, asked in japanese.
good thing i took conversational japanese classes in high school and watched anime.
you were halfway raising your hand, when a guy with really cool fashion, carrying a huge bag strutted into the dance room like he was on a runway. what does he even have in his bag that it’s so huge?
“oh, shotaro-kun! everyone else is already paired up, so you’re pairing up with miss black shorts over there,” nana sensei told shotaro, the cool-fashioned guy, as he nodded and headed towards you after chucking his bag to one of the bag areas.
“osaki shotaro,” he introduced himself, holding out a hand for a handshake.
“i’m y/n,” you took his hand in yours, which felt warm against your cold hands.
“y/n. pretty name for a pretty girl. cold hands though.”
of course your hands were cold, you’d been sitting in an air-conditioned building for forty five minutes. shotaro sat down next to you, with your hands still held together, before he let go completely to sit comfortably. nakamura sensei and nana sensei were asking the front of the class to make some space, as they were about to give a demonstration of the class' choreography.
“i’ve never seen you before, new here?” shotaro initiated small talk while the dance instructors were preparing the music.
“yeah. i’m actually here in japan on holiday so i’m just here for this class. haven’t gone to a dance class in seven years, though.”
“nice, i’m a regular at this academy,” you nodded, not really interested to know despite oversharing yourself, because you came to dance, not to flirt.
yeah, right.. joining a couple’s dance class, alone? paired up with a stranger? with that dance choreography?
you were gobsmacked. flabbergasted, even. the dance routine that nakamura sensei and nana sensei just showed to the class was very sensual, sexual and touchy. and i’m about to do that with a complete stranger? you knew that dance was an art form, which meant that sometimes, being intimate was unavoidable. but that didn’t mean you were comfortable with it. simply put, you were someone described as more ‘conservative’. even in relationships, you were one to prefer getting to know the other party better for a few months before proceeding to other steps like kissing and having sex. maybe that was why you had few relationships – and most of them, a fail.
“relax, y/n, i won’t eat you up,” shotaro smiled sweetly, snapping you out of your trance.
“come on! get up, let’s learn the dance.”
the first part of learning the dance routine went smoothly without any mishaps. you knew it was because there wasn't any crazily intimate dance steps unlike the second part of the routine, where the skinship started. the first move of the next dance step required you to go behind shotaro and slide your hands from his chest to right around his belly button.
“go ahead, it’s fine.”
shotaro assured you that you could touch him, showing the sweet smile he gave you before the both of you started dancing. he could tell you weren’t exactly comfortable with touching complete strangers. he was an experienced dancer who could tell the intimacy levels his dance partners were comfortable with, and you were especially obvious with how much you didn’t like touching strangers. since the handshake with you earlier, he felt the way you very obviously wanted to let go while he was holding your hands tight as he sat down, without thinking much of the interaction. you had to admit however, that shotaro had a good body. he was lean but bulked, and his hard rock abs were reminiscent of the olden day washboard.
the next dance step required you to stand in front of him, facing away from the mirror and dropping down to the floor with your hands sliding down to his hipline before getting up. he had a sexy smile on his face, and you were unable to tell if he was flirting or doing facial expressions to match the dance. somehow, you ended up face-to-face with a bulge in shotaro’s grey sweatpants. he had a boner.
“sorry about nature’s work. you know, sexual dances and hormones,” he apologised as you got up to do the next dance move, following nana sensei.
the both of you were doomed. the third part of the dance involved grinding. how were you, a ‘conservative’ girl who didn't like skinship, supposed to do that, with a guy who was currently having a boner in his pants?
“this grinding means nothing. i know you have a boner but we’re being professional here,” shotaro nodded, completely understanding.
shotaro had no idea why he was acting the way he was. normally, he’d be perfectly fine dancing with the opposite gender. he’d even dance a sexier couple’s choreography than nakamura sensei and nana sensei’s current routine. so why was he acting like a complete teenager, at his big age of twenty four years old? he knew he was asking a dumb question. you were his type. you were pretty, had long hair that went below your shoulders, and his favourite of all, you were significantly shorter than him. he had a thing for his significant other being shorter, and you were 160cm, the perfect height for a man like him.
“baby, you’re so good for seven years, no class.”
baby?! what is this guy on about? can’t blame him though, i am kinda hot.
you just rolled your eyes as you brushed off his comment and continued learning the dance from the dance instructors. if shotaro could read your thoughts, he’d probably have completely fallen for you. he loved when a girl was confident about herself. but he’d never say that with his own mouth for your confident ass to hear. except maybe, if he was in bed with you.
“alright, that’s the whole routine, let’s go through the last part once more, and then we’ll do it from the start,” nakamura sensei voiced to the whole class.
“we’ll pick the top five couples to film a dance video, alright? do your best,” nana sensei added on.
although you hadn’t taken dance classes in years, you were an achiever. whether it was your school grades, a game in an arcade, or even a stupid dare, you wanted to be the best. you liked being the best, and loved when people praised or congratulated you for your hard work to get where you wanted to be. or maybe i just have a praise kink.
“take this seriously, osaki,” you called out to your dance partner who was wearing a tight fitting black shirt and grey sweatpants.
“oh? no honorifics from you, y/n? sexy,” he teased you knowing you were going to be annoyed, just like how you rolled your eyes earlier when he called you baby.
the both of you met around two and a half hours ago, but shotaro had you all figured out.
the music played from the top, “one, and two, and three, and four, and,” nakamura sensei signalled the counts for the class to start dancing the whole choreography.
shotaro was dancing well, having the perfect expressions and hitting all the right angles. you, on the other hand, flexibly matched well to his energy, dancing as if it wasn’t the first time you met. you took quick glances at the instructors, seeing an impressed face on nana sensei’s face. nakamura sensei was throwing out compliments to all the pairs in the class, but he went silent at your pair, with only a “woah” coming out his mouth. you knew you were going to be one of the chosen five. you were great, and so was osaki shotaro, the man you were dancing with.
“... and the last pair is shotaro and his girl!” nakamura sensei announced to the class.
you jumped in joy and unknowingly hugged shotaro tightly. you loved winning. so much as you didn’t realise nakamura sensei had called you shotaro’s girl. you didn’t even realise he did that on purpose, because he saw how much differently shotaro acted than usual. nakamura sensei knew shotaro well, being his regular student – and his wife, nana sensei’s cousin. originally osaki nana, now nakamura nana. but you didn’t have to know that.
“so, you agree with nakamura sensei that you’re my girl?” he was truly an annoyance, but a cute, sexy one.
you realised what you were doing with him and let go, apologising with the excuse that you were just caught up in the moment. you didn’t realise how much more comfortable you got with him, within the span of two and a half hours. the intimate choreography helped shotaro get closer to you.
after the fourth pair finished recording their dance, you and shotaro both got up. it was your pair performing next. you had to do well. the video was going to be on the dance academy’s youtube channel, according to what shotaro told you. it had to be good. shotaro took your hand in his, pulling you along to the center of the practice room. with the same hand, he somewhat patted the back of your hand that he was holding, as if to reassure you that all would be fine and to just trust him when dancing. the whole time, you had unknowingly not even pulled away or rejected his hand.
unlike the other pairs, the room was completely silent when the two of you performed. everyone in the room felt the sexual tension between you and shotaro. they felt the true sexiness of the choreography, and that it was somewhat similar with nakamura sensei and nana sensei’s demonstration hours earlier.
it was like you two were actual lovers, hungry and lusting for each other. it didn’t help that your pair was wearing matching outfits — your fitting grey crop top and black shorts, contrasting shotaro’s fitting black shirt and grey sweatpants — that made the both of you look more like an actual couple. the looks shotaro was giving you as the both of you performed — sexy with his clicking of the tongue, lustful with his tongue teasing, eyes not leaving your ass every time you were in front of him — was making you ever more confident with your moves.
the last move was resemblant of a couple kissing, as the male – in this case, shotaro, looks to the audience like a predator who caught his prey. but you, being too into the choreography, had kissed him on the lips. this was not like you at all. shotaro, on the contrary, remained professional even as you kissed him, giving a fierce stare towards the camera as what k-pop idols would call ‘ending fairy’. everyone erupted in applause while having their mouth agape. the performance you and shotaro did left everyone breathless.
“and.. cut!” nakamura sensei called out when their cameraman who came in before the recording signalled him.
“oh shit,” you pulled back, realising you kissed shotaro.
what did i just do?! who is this?! this isn’t the y/n that i know?
“it’s okay baby, you did well.”
his compliment made you smile. shotaro was getting too comfortable calling you baby for someone he just met three hours ago. you didn’t do anything about it either, seemingly as if you were fine with the pet name. maybe you did fall in love with him within a three hour class. he dragged you along with him by your waist, his arm sitting comfortably on your behind, to sit back down for the class debrief.
nakamura sensei and nana sensei gave a speech of thanks to everyone for attending the lesson and giving it their all for a successful session, before dismissing the class. he was about to talk to you, when nakamura sensei called him to discuss about something that you couldn’t understand the meaning of. (he was trying to get shotaro's opinions on a surprise date planned for nana sensei. rightfully so, since shotaro grew up with nana sensei – the one who got him into dancing.)
finishing the talk with nakamura sensei, he ignored his big bag and walked directly towards you instead. you were taking your own sweet time to pack your bags before leaving the dance room. not because you were secretly waiting for him, or curious about what he was going to ask before being interrupted, you convinced yourself. you were exhausted after the intense dance class.
“baby, can i have your instagram?”
he knew not to cross boundaries too fast (even though you crossed it first by kissing him earlier), and just asked for your instagram username. thank god, because it would have been dumb of him to ask for your LINE account, knowing you weren’t even living in japan, which means you likely didn’t even use LINE.
“i’ll send you a message, baby”
little did you know, you were soon going to gain a long-distance boyfriend – one that you were going to meet every night after his dance classes for the rest of your japan trip. you didn't know what was it about shotaro, that made you do things you would have never done otherwise. but what the both of you planned to do after your japan trip, was a problem for the future you and the man called osaki shotaro.
i mean, i already kissed him! whether i brought him back to the hotel for something more or not.. wouldn’t be such an issue, would it?
✶⋆.˚꩜ AFTERTHOUGHTS .ᐟ˙⋆✶ writing this for like three hours in and out while listening to a whole bunch of local songs (i think? i don’t even know most local artists) with the simp and longing theme was crazy… i did not know i had it in me to do this?? took me forever to proofread though, hope you enjoyed! likes and reblogs are appreciated :)
ᝰ synopsis .ᐟ you were stunned. it was definitely your fault for assuming your online friend was a girl. for god’s sake, naruto’s a shonen anime, an animated show marketed to boys and men. but it wasn’t completely your fault too. i mean, sohee never clarified to you that he was a dude either.
ᝰ pairing .ᐟ fanboy!sohee x fangirl!reader
ᝰ genre .ᐟ crack // written & smau
ᝰ word count .ᐟ 0.9k+ (text only)
ᝰ warning .ᐟ please practice stranger danger, second-hand embarrassment moments, mentions of dicks, dirty jokes, and sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship
ᝰ author's note .ᐟ happy birthday to our naruto fanboy lee ddori<3 this fic was inspired by sohee’s obsession with naruto and that one time he went to the naruto exhibition in korea… also the fact i have to specifically search "riize sohee" online for his photos because sometimes other sohees appear instead and they're all girls lmao
you were truly excited. you hadn’t met an online friend in so long, especially one that was in the naruto fandom, and lived in seoul. your friends in the fandom were mostly girls from other provinces, and the ones that were from seoul were all busy corporate slaves, so you barely got to meet them.
"you know how i look like… right?" you texted sohee.
"yeah ok i’m coming hold on"
"that’s what she said"
of course, you being you, you had to make a dirty joke when presented with the opportunity.
you were curious how sohee looked like. it was the first time you were meeting her, after being friends for about three months. you became friends with sohee since she first joined the fandom on twitter. she’d never posted her photos on twitter, which meant that you knew nothing about her facial features – except that she once mentioned she had four or five moles on her left cheek, and that her twitter profile photo was of her eyes.
she’s probably pretty, right?
i remember she told me that she studies applied music in university so maybe she can sing? if we end early, we can go sing at the karaoke after the exhibition too!
waiting for sohee, you imagined she was someone with a cute face but sharp jawline, a pretty smile, and long luscious hair – until she stood in front of you calling your name.
“y/n?”
you lost your train of thoughts as soon as you saw her.
she was a he.
you were stunned.
“you’re y/n, right? i’m sohee,” a handsome guy wearing a gray beanie and a track jacket stood in front of you, taking off his white mask.
“you’re sohee? user soheeruto?”
he nodded to your questions, asking you afterwards if you were okay as you had your mouth left agape. it was definitely your fault for assuming your online friend was a girl. sohee was such a feminine-sounding name, and was a name mostly used by girls.
you stood up and ran to the restaurant washroom, which was a few tables away from your table.
it wasn’t completely your fault, was it?
“um... hi?” you peeked out of the washroom door and slowly walked to your table and greeted him.
“was i that scary?”
“no, it’s just… i was shocked. i thought you were a girl because-”
“you thought i was a girl?”
“well i mean – you didn’t even correct me every time i texted you with feminine terms! and your name! sohee! it’s technically a name that leaned more towards girls!”
“okay, okay, calm down. can we order food first and then i’ll explain my… um, lore?”
as it turned out, it was indeed, not completely your fault. although sohee hadn’t put his pronouns in his profile or explicitly mentioned he was a dude, his profile biography wrote “naruto-loving shonen (i like sasuke more though)”, which he thought mentioning ‘shonen’ was sufficient in specifying his gender. though, gender didn’t matter much to him when making friends, as long as it was someone who enjoyed watching naruto. he was also used to being misgendered from just his name — which was socially known as a more feminine name — because he just didn’t care enough to correct unless he absolutely needed to.
“this steakhouse’s steak bussin’ though.”
“right? i always come here whenever i crave for steak, it hits every time,” you replied sohee.
“but do you normally naruto run – or did i just shock you too much for being a dude?”
“shut up, let’s go to the exhibition,” you got up to pay for the meal for the both of you, before exiting the store with sohee, as repayment for him paying your exhibition tickets.
“sohee, turn around and pose!”
the both of you were on an escalator heading towards the entrance of the exhibition, when you asked sohee to turn around so that you could snap a picture of him – that you sent after through the file sharing function on your phones. he returned the favor after by taking your phone to snap a photo, asking you to pose with the sign at the entrance. the both of you had so much fun looking at the exhibition, recalling episodes of the anime as you walked through each section.
as attendees, you had complimentary photo booth passes, which you chose to take yours with sohee while his own was a solo shot. it didn’t really matter to you if you didn’t have a photo booth of just yourself with the naruto exhibition frame compared to a photo with sohee for your first meeting.
sorry to everyone, but i’m gatekeeping my photo with sohee from the rest of the world.
“y/n, wait. i want a photo at this wall,” sohee asks right before the exit of the exhibition, unlocking his phone and opening the camera application, before passing it to you – which you found to be a weird habit he had as he could’ve accessed the camera app without unlocking his phone, but to each his own.
“thanks for today, y/n. it was really fun.”
you nodded and smiled at sohee, agreeing that your first meeting with the gray beanie boy was fun. the both of you took so long in the exhibition, enjoying every bit of it. you documented everything for memories’ sake, not realising sohee took a photo of you in the midst of it until he had sent it to you on twitter after parting ways.
✶⋆.˚꩜ AFTERTHOUGHTS .ᐟ˙⋆✶ hope you enjoyed this abomination of a fic... i don’t even know what i was on to have written this but it barely has anything to do with naruto besides the exhibition being a plot device
ᝰ synopsis .ᐟ seunghan didn't know how loved he was. he thought leaving was for the better. if only he had realised earlier, would things have changed?
ᝰ pairing .ᐟ hong seunghan x those who love him
ᝰ genre .ᐟ angst
ᝰ word count .ᐟ 1.4k+
ᝰ warning .ᐟ mentions of events from october 11th to october 13th including funeral wreaths, hate, bullying, and death threats
ᝰ author's note .ᐟ got on tiktok and got depressed, again. so i guess… here's an angsty, sad, and traumatic one shot that would probably make you cry. song recommendation while reading, seventeen's don't wanna cry.
i think it's better for the team if i leave.
seunghan didn't expect the amount of funeral wreaths left for him in front of his company's doorstep. piles, after piles, after piles of them. each more hurtful than the next.
"we only want 6"
"hong seunghan out"
"freeloader, get lost!"
"i respectfully pray for the peace of mind for the deceased"
respect? where was the respect in question? they were treating him as dead. a perfectly alive and breathing 21-year-old who had just celebrated his birthday just days prior. what had he done so bad to be treated like this?
his head was feeling so complicated. where exactly did he go wrong? he had discussed with the company and the members. they seemed to be in support of him coming back, despite the risks of losing the current fanbase that was built around the six members while he was on hiatus.
seunghan used to hear the members tell him stories in the dorms about their fans holding up banners with his face or slogans saying that they loved the group as seven. they would excitedly text him after performing, telling him that he shouldn't give up. everyone wanted him back. but he didn't believe them. he knew it was just make him feel better. or he thought he did.
walking away from the wreaths, the black-hooded boy headed towards his favourite space. his advertisement board at seoul forest station. a place of comfort. he remembered the very first time he had his face on the board was when he debuted. and then it appeared again in january. since then, it was always his face at that specific location in the station. fans nicknamed the location "seunghan's spot".
the last time he read the notes on the board, the words of support were so sweet. in those messages, fans really missed and cared for him. he was even approached by someone, giving him support and telling him to stay strong. that they would wait for him to come back.
seunghan's birthday board was fuller than ever. he almost couldn't see his face on the board. he just stood far away, staring at the countless amount of notes, feeling apologetic. seeing the backlash for the past two days, the company asked to meet with him, asking him if he was sure he wanted to stay.
seunghan wasn't sure why they asked him that. he was even more confused why they did nothing about the funeral wreaths outside the company. was it not illegal? he had so many thoughts, all left unanswered. where was the "family" that he thought there was, the reason to why he even decided to join this company?
seunghan was not a boy to be left alone. he was one to make rash decisions, and needed someone to hold him back. as an F, he needed his fellow F to empathize with him. he needed his Ts to ground him down that he should stay. but they weren't there.
all his bandmates could do was to post a thinkpiece on weverse, saying they convinced him to come back, in the midst of an overseas schedule. they thought long and hard about the decision and decided to risk it all. they were willing to get scolded for the post, willing to lose fans to be on stage with him again. but they got called liars, accused of having the post ghostwritten, words being put in their mouths saying that they never wanted him back.
seunghan felt guilty. the members never deserved the hate. they've achieved so much without him. he didn't want to ruin it by coming back. he put the members first, like the sweet boy he was.
he got in contact with the company. and that's when he realised he made a big mistake. hashtags were trending. boycotts were happening. protest trucks were driving in. in-person protests were held. international news were covering his story. he realised he was essentially coerced into leaving the team.
"no seunghan, not complete"
"we want seven"
"sm, why did you listen to the minority?"
"sm supports bullying"
"sm, where's the protection you said you would do?"
"sm, reveal the lawsuit processions. if you even did any, for the past 10 months."
there were much, much, more people anticipating his comeback. they were truly, supporting him. he never realised how much of a human rights issue the funeral wreaths were until it was pointed out. he never realised the company was all talk, no action. he was their artist, why didn't they post about filing lawsuits when they announced he came back?
seunghan realised his idea of the company's image being family was just extremely clouded. he finally understood what it meant when people said to never trust companies that market themselves as family.
at some point, at night, he was called to the company again. he was crossing the street, all covered up, when he saw someone with his photocard dangling on their bag. he lowered his cap, apologetically, knowing it was a fan who was probably hurt by him leaving. he didn't want to be recognised and hurt them further. he left quietly, heading into the company building.
he was told they would write up a notice about monitoring any slander written against him. until the notice was posted. did the company never wanted him back? how come his friends had ongoing lawsuits, but there was nothing in his notice? what about the past 10 months where people were saying just about anything? what about the person who lied about his ex-girlfriend being a minor? what about the person who invaded his privacy by leaking photos of his private life?
seunghan was honestly sick and tired of it all. he was always kind to everyone. hell, he was even kind to animals. he even bought a necklace to support a cause related to animals, even though he's afraid of all animals. what did he even do to deserve such treatment?
more projects came out. some were even writing public letters, making an e-book of letters for him. he read all of them. even those he couldn't understand. he just stared at the foreign words and smiled adoringly, knowing it was messages of good wishes for him.
some foreign fans even wrote in korean. some were in perfect korean while some were painfully obvious that it was translated by machine. seunghan tried his best to understand it all, and it was all so sweet.
"seunghan, i miss you"
"i miss you with them"
"hani, i wish you stayed"
"seunghan-ie, i'm not crying so please come back"
"seunghan, come back before i steal your favourite member"
"seunghan, come back, let me lure you with crayon shin-chan merchandise"
some of the messages were truly hilarious. coping with sadness by being funny. he loved his fans. they were truly positive. their jokes made him smile.
"have you eaten? are you living well?"
"eat some rice, don't just eat bibimmyeon, okay?"
"are you doing well? i'm not doing so well, but i hope that at least you are"
"seunghan, we will always be proud of you. keep your head up"
"hani, don't apologise. you didn't do anything wrong."
"seunghan-ie, you were just a teenager who's human. we are all human."
"seunghan, cheer up!"
"seunghan, we're always with you"
so many messages were concerned for him and his well-being. even though he knew that they weren't doing well either. they waited ten months and lost him just only after two days, without even getting to see his face.
one of the messages he read stuck to him, "i really want to cry, but if i cry now, i might not be able to see you at all. so i'll fight for you."
reading the messages just made him break down, and cry. guilt, apologetic, comforted, sorry, sad, happy... seunghan felt all kinds of emotions. he didn't want to cry, he wanted to pretend he was fine. but how was he supposed to be fine, when his fans were crying because their words of love weren't enough to make him stay?
he didn't know how to fix the problem. he didn't have much power. the last time seunghan came back, he was previously just on hiatus. this time, he had truly left the team. he wondered if he could even come back. at least to make their fans — no, his fans who loved him — happy? he just cried, cried, and cried. he didn't know how to make it a happy ending.
why didn't he hold on just a bit longer?
why couldn't he see the amount of support he had this whole time?
if he knew, would things have turned out differently?
why didn't i realise sooner?
"wait for me, i'll won't give up on my dreams."
"i'll come back stronger."
✶⋆.˚꩜ AFTERTHOUGHTS .ᐟ˙⋆✶ i'm crying as i write this. seunghan, i miss you so bad. how are you? are you eating well? you are so strong. i'm sorry i couldn't do more to protect you. just know that i will always be proud of you, always. and so will the rest of us. we love and miss you so much.
ᝰ synopsis .ᐟ what kind of best friend texts you goodbye and disappears? the one-and-only hong seunghan. but no matter how much time has passed since no-contact, you realise nothing has changed. he's still the hong seunghan you know.
ᝰ pairing .ᐟ bsf!hong seunghan x gn!reader
ᝰ genre .ᐟ fluff, light angst // written
ᝰ word count .ᐟ 1.5k+
ᝰ warning .ᐟ somewhat open ending, somewhat happy ending
ᝰ author's note .ᐟ back on tumblr after eight years since deactivating my previous account… never written an au on here before but here goes nothing :)
this was it.
"mom, dad, calm down. it's not like i won't be able to navigate. it's still south korea."
getting down the car meant you were finally stepping foot in seoul. seongsu-dong was the neighbourhood you were going to stay at for the rest of your life.
it wasn't like you hated moving to seoul and living alone, who would've hated getting freedom away from their parents this young? it just wasn't part of your life plan, starting your last year of high school on a whole new slate, in a whole new place.
your parents had insisted on you moving nearer to the capital for a better life. they went about telling you reasons, one of them about how living in a neighbourhood more busy and bustling than ilsan was more beneficial for you in the long run. they believed you would get more work opportunities after university. but for you, this was a different kind of opportunity. it was a chance to meet seunghan again.
seunghan was your best friend in ilsan. he was the one you shared all secrets with, except one that you never got know the reason behind. why he never kept in contact with you, after vanishing from your side two years ago. not even a hint of where he was headed to, was left for you.
all you got was a card of apology and gratefulness under your desk, for being his best friend in middle school, and a bag of your favorite jjanggu chip snack. you wouldn't have ever known, if it wasn't for your mom who heard the news from the market aunties. the hong family had left ilsan to help seunghan's aunt with her restaurant in seoul.
not sure if i can even call him a best friend anymore, when he didn't even tell me where he was leaving to.
"meow! meow! wake up! it's 5:30am! meow!" you weren't expecting your new black cat themed alarm clock to sound that cute.
in all honesty, you weren't sure what time you were supposed to report to school. all the school transfer paperwork were settled by your parents… which you concluded that they likely forgot to tell you the reporting time, being too busy working and packing luggages with you.
it's like i'm in a korean drama where i'm the main character who has the cliché of a stereotypical transfer student, being late for their first day of school.
fortunately, guessing the reporting time based off your arts school in ilsan and the travel time from your place to your new school, worked in your favor. you arrived early and met your homeroom teacher to collect all the necessary items for school.
man, mom and dad should've gotten me a place nearer to school. it's insane that i have to travel almost two hours every day to get here.
collecting your class schedule and textbooks, you found it so crazy how you managed to transfer schools in your last year of high school. you were just a student from goyang high school of arts, dreaming of being a vocal teacher. how did you manage to transfer to school of performing arts seoul, a prestigious arts school in seoul, in your last year?
"wait outside, i'll call you in to introduce yourself to the class," mr kim, your homeroom teacher who showed you the way to class, briefed.
introductions make me nervous, but i hope all goes well today.
"y/n, you can sit down on the empty seat on the left. the third last row. hong seunghan is your seatmate, but the boy is absent today" mr kim instructed after your introduction, pointing to the two empty seats near the back of the class.
your class was weird. all of your classmates were either glaring or giving judgemental stares, both guys and girls. all you did was greet them in passing while getting to your seat, what was wrong with this class? was your seatmate some popular guy at school who's "for everyone"?
hong seunghan.
you read the name on the desk next to you. your seatmate had the same name as your ilsan best friend, but you didn't think much of it.
it's not like he's the only hong seunghan in the whole of south korea.
scanning the details around his name, you found that a bunch of mini crayon shin-chan stickers decorated the name on the desk.
cute. my seunghan's a shin-chan lover too.
looking around the class and the tables, you learned that everyone was pasting stickers of their own style and aesthetic on their respective tables. you took out one of the two japanese 'puri-kura' photo sticker print of you and seunghan from your wallet, pasting it on your table. there were four copies originally printed, but each of you took two each.
the photo sticker was just a photo the both of you took for fun, when 'puri-kura' was trending during those days. but it quickly became a core memory, being the only photo the both of you took since knowing each other in middle school. you know what they say about true best friends, they barely have photos together. both of you made a promise, to always have one copy in your wallet and never lose it, even if you end up losing your second copy.
i wonder if he still has his copies?
it was a week since you transferred and you still had yet to see your seatmate's face. you had no idea how he looked like, and you hadn't been able to make any friends to ask about him. it was understandable, joining an already established friend group was impossible as a senior high school student.
the boy had been skipping school since day one of your transfer, which you had not even the slightest idea why because you didn't know anything about him. you never gave it much thought as it was a normal occurrence in the school, some students were trainees or idols.
you were early for class that day and rested your head on your desk, feeling a presence sit down next to you and flopping his bag down on the floor. you knew it was likely your seatmate that you had never met before.
"who are you? and why did you take my 'puri-kura' photo from under my table and put it on your table?" he asked in an annoyed tone.
"the 'puri-kura' photo of me and my best friend?" you looked up annoyed, someone had just claimed your photo as theirs.
"y/n"
"seunghan"
the two of you said each other's name in unison.
"wait. what?" you were absolutely confused.
he hugged you immediately, with a smile on his face, "i can't believe it's actually you, y/n."
"but what are you doing here? in a SOPA uniform? did you transfer here? in your last year of high school? that's insane."
that was when you found out seunghan was a trainee under sm entertainment, an entertainment company that was coincidentally also in your neighbourhood. he was scouted two years ago after the entrance exams and trained for about a year since. he was on his way to achieving his dreams. dreams you once talked about with each other, you being a vocal teacher, and him being an idol.
hey, at least i now have someone to suffer with me on the ride back to seongsu-dong!
hanging out with him again felt like a dream. your best friend was back. he was a sweet boy who was like a respected prince. everyone liked him, teachers, classmates, juniors, even the alumnus were fond of him.
before you realized, you had slowly fallen in love with him. being oblivious was the best choice of action for you, not wanting the relationship of best friends to be ruined if you confessed to him. besides, there were so many other people you knew who also had a crush on him. how could someone not fall in love with such a kind-hearted soul?
he was a hard-working boy. he showed you his moves and vocals every once in a while and asked for feedback. he was truly the talented best friend you loved and supported. you felt proud looking at him, and truly wished the best for his future, even if it meant never confessing your feelings for him.
days and months passed. then came graduation day, the day when everyone would finally be released from high school. the day you had to part with seunghan again. but this time it was going to be different. you were going to make sure he knew you were always going to be there for him.
"i'm sorry for being a bad friend, y/n."
both you and seunghan were becoming adults, and had your own separate dreams to chase. he was apologising again, knowing it would be difficult to meet friends as his debut nears.
"never apologise for something you can't control. something that's not your fault. you're my best friend, and i'll always be there for you, regardless of if we're in contact or not. i'm not changing my number, so, i'm just a call away if you ever need me."
"even if one day, you apologise and go no-contact for the second time,"
"i promise i won't leave you, forever," you told him.
i love you and i truly wish the best for you.
you deserve the best.
my prince.
✶⋆.˚꩜ AFTERTHOUGHTS .ᐟ˙⋆✶ can u tell i'm depressed and miss seunghan with this fic? cus i am. also, personally, i think this should have badfic as a label because i think it's kind of cringe… but maybe i'm just too self-critical because my bestie who read this said i had potential to write good angst😰
