Rumpled up perfection. I love how ordinary moments are nothing short of extraordinary which, is why I try to savour each one and not let the moment pass me by. #dontchasetherabbit The way my shoulders burn when I dip my paddle into the water again and again is smoothed over by the breeze against my freckled skin. #dragonboating. I miss the mountains and the ocean when we are separated, a west coast girl through and through. #vancouver. The energy exchanged when your at a live show is something that has been constant in my life. #localmusic. Fighting the good fight towards equality #feminism #gender stratification. I'm inspired by beautiful things. #fashion #moodboards. I am held together by the brilliant people in my world. #family #besties. Here are my thoughts strewn on these pages as I stumble through lived experiences of life, love, loneliness and the pursuit of happiness. #prose. I love to create conversation make sure you drop me a line in my #ask box. I do not own any of the images unless stated please see all source links. The writing is mine unless otherwise stated. #disclaimer var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-24876705-1']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })();
I don’t even know if there is a metaphor left in me.
My brain has been roughed up. My black heart is laden with confusion. Any ounce of patience has dripped from my body rendering me incapable of listening to your self absorbed mediocrity.
Anger flicks on and off. First it is hot and deep and unrelentingly. Then it grows fuzzy and disappears in a wave of anesthesia.
I yearn to disappear for a few days among fresh blankets and sheets. Yet the scratching above me demands otherwise.
I wish I could take in your pain and his pain to. I wish Albert had better things to say on life being fair.
I’m invaded on all accounts. Hoping for a little sip of something pleasant instead I gulp back the uncomfortable because this to shall pass.
“Posted like silent sentinels all around the town, stand thousands upon thousands of mortal men fixed in ocean reveries. Some leaning against the spiles; some seated upon the pier-heads; some looking over the bulwarks of ships from China; some high aloft in the rigging, as if striving to get a still better seaward peep. But these are all landsmen; of week days pent up in lath and plaster- tied to counters, nailed to benches, clinched to desks. How then is this? Are the green fields gone? What do they here?…It is the image of the ungraspable phantom of life; and this is the key to it all.” - Herman Melville
I might not struggle with mental illness, but I struggle. Boy, do I struggle. And sometimes I feel as if a wall is put up between those who struggle with mental illness and those who don’t. There’s a wall between those of us classified as “normal” and those who fear they will never attain that normalcy. But I’ve come to believe that we need to stop being so afraid of other people just because they suffer differently than us.“
Make the effort. Sometimes its easier to get caught up in the sadness of the world. Much easier to tuck yourself away with hot tea and loose yourself within the layers of Bon Iver. Yet the warmness of early spring nights is appreciably sweeter-- as you get lost in the cackles of laughter. Cherished are the moments of libations-- amongst stories woven in and out of the Machu Picchu mountains. Gone are the days were your 9-5 was smattered with their warmth and heart. Not lost though as you reconvene in the heart of the Davie village.
I haven’t been able to sleep. Restless even amongst my tender white sheets. I try to calm myself. Focus on the hum of the fan. The way it creates a wind that races up the back of my leg– Creating a cacophony of goosebumps. My tired black heart is distracted with my work and other peoples problems. I trip down a selfish hallway. Wanting things. More things that give little definition to a complete life. I feel trapped by my own self entitlement. I finally slip away. Only to be startled awake by the beeping of my alarm.
I’m not very good at being alone lately. The sadness is substantial pressing down on each and every pore. I sip warm tea slowly. Trying to practice gratitude. The warmth of the mug. The flavor’s resting on my tongue. I will it to repair the breaks on my black heart. To dry up the salt streaming from my brown eyes. There is usually a reason for this brokenness. Yet I’m grasping to explain this insanity.
I think you know you’ve found someone special when you meet them for the first time, and it feels like you’re just picking up where you left off. You kind of look at them and think
“Where the hell did you come from? Where the hell have you been?”
Caitlyn Siehl (via thatkindofwoman)
When i'm not chasing the rabbit... @jennbaylee - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
