everything is settled now;
at least thatâs what the others said, thatâs what everyone said â itâs over, they breathed in heavy relief, trying to sound calm and collected as they were finally freed from their prison, but jennie can still hear their horrified voices ringing in her ears, the shakiness in every word they spoke with their eyes still opened wide in terror, in sheer terror.
and for jennie itâs everything but over.
sheâs shaken; simply shaken up like a tiny flower, shaken up like a leaf in a storm â it doesnât matter what to call it, what ridiculous metaphor to use for it, because jennie just canât stop the images from flashing up behind her eyelids over and over again, almost as if theyâre burned into them. and the fear, the fear is still there, creeping up and down her spine in shudders, in cold chills and crawling deep inside her bones, settling there as a feeling of restlessness. jisoo and lisa are safe now, jennie herself is safe now, she knows that but sheâs still scared.
she lost, she failed the battle against herself in the noose, didnât manage to overcome her fears and it showed her how weak she is, how sheâs not ready for this game with the devil. how is she supposed to look after jisoo and lisa like that? how is she supposed to care for them form now on and keep them out of harmâs way if she couldnât in the noose.
her eyes are glued to the huge wooden door, the entrance to the church and then they flicker up to the sky briefly, tears pooling in her eyes. she thought everyone left her in there, inside the noose, but her friends are still here, her family too; her lord is still with her.
but she doesnât deserve it, she doesnât deserve them all around her.
a sob almost slips past her lips, but she can bite it back, can swallow it down again. she makes a step, and another one towards the church, hands already reaching out to push the door open. jennie stops in the middle of the movement, though, seeing someone out of the corners of her eyes.
thereâs a girl standing a few meters away from her, in the same position like jennie did before â staring at the entrance in front of her; itâs the entrance to the graveyard. and she looks familiar to her, the bruises and dirt splattered across her face and the blank look on it tell jennie the entire story on their own and she just knows.
she walks over to her slowly, standing close as her hand comes up to carefully touch her arm in an attempt to get her attention. âyou were there too, right?â, she asks, trying to get her lips to curl into a warm smile, but itâs hard. âdo you want to go inside?â