jojo @jerahkey - Tumblr Blog

I'm jojo and I come here to enjoy gay fanart and rant over minor inconveniences, because this is my corner of the internet and I do what I want :) This blog is solely for my thoughts & feelings, the block button is my best friend if it comes to having that peace disrupted ☺️ I post & reblog 18+ content often ⚠️

💙 Get to know me! ⬇️

2026 is my year for SStS <3 Self Sabotage then Suicide :)

Goodbye everyone!

It feels Extra Good knowing every pitiful post is very likely interpreted as proof enough you made the right decision if they ever met your exhausted eyes. I hope you sleep soundly with me finally the fuck out of your life, like a gasp of clean air after ripping from the shackles inside a rotting polluted cell that hazed your mind into believing I inhabited a palace. I wish I was you. I wish I could leave me too. But at my worst I'm far from human and much closer in shaped matter to the rusted bars and chains you spent forever rubbing the bruises from until fading to the nothing I was always meant to become. I wasn't your blessing. I was a lesson. And now that you learned, there is no point in painful review. My death notice is a textbook that will never reach your door. It's the only thing left for me to eat while I'm trapped living here within myself.

There is no kind way to tell me I'm too much. Say it with your teeth and bite the string that connects us until its severed or swallow your resentment behind another fake smile and silently fading I'll always be there for you. I'd rather be spat in the face and shoved into the neighborhood ditch than feel your hand grasp me one last time before letting go for your own sake. I don't need love that will never last anyway. I need to know with burning certainty that your sickness of me means a finality more awful and real than the love you claim to harbor before a contradicting goodbye. Don't make me believe your light was an undying sun than the actual candled flame it is: snuffed the moment my darkness became too suffocating. Don't claim a kind of strength in your love that never knew the jaws of a hurt man.

Lost two best friends in one night from my own mental illness and insecurity. Have never felt more ashamed of myself. I just want to disappear. I don't want to be me anymore. I don't want to wake up tomorrow.

I'm not the pretty kind of sad. I'm the kind of sad everybody gets sick of and decides you know what no wonder they left you, you should be all on your own because that's what you deserve. I'm the insufferable sad. The annoying sad. The sad that makes you understand why I had these things coming in the first place. I'm the sad you politely smile and pat on the back but are secretly glad when I break away. I'm the sad that's so close to death, you think it'd be nicer to just let me succumb than go through the struggle of nursing back to life. I'm the sad that needs to man up and move on, the sad that's a good thing to lay to waste if it meant never being strong enough to stand tall on its own. I'm the panhandling sad you glance at with a pang of pity before averting your eyes and telling yourself my circumstances aren't your problem, so just keep looking ahead and away. I'm the sad that wants to eat itself alive, that wants to disappear, but rots in the corner alone and unhealed until the next day I drag myself elsewhere out of guilt for the stench I've left you to suffer with in this room. I'm the sad that's numb and naked in the mirror, fantasizing about the maggots that'll consume me and feed a life cycle I couldn't carry out myself. I'm the sad you have to let go, for the sake of your mental health. The sad that feels better to forget about. The cowardly sad that longs for a pretty casket but settles for another ordinary bed. The sad that knows it doesn't matter when it's alive, but hopelessly clings to anyway, knowing a bitter end would just spread the sad to dozens more. I'm the sad that barely hangs on and dreams of finally letting go. I'm sad and I'm alone.