we can't be like this forever.
jeremiah had almost begun to think of his life as before his mother died and after. there was such a stark difference to who he was then and who he'd become now; all of them had changed, grown. conrad had been the most difficult of all to adapt to. ever the moodiest of the two, it was different these days. he had a storm cloud hanging over his head that refused to budge, and those in close proximity began to feel the rain too.
there was a small smile that graced his features, one that did not meet jeremiah's eyes. he was ever the comic, the one who cracked jokes until everyone smiled; eased the tension with his playful antics. not this time. he was exhausted, tired of trying to keep strong for everyone else. the loneliness he'd borne during the end, the pain he'd held in rather than shared with conrad; he'd soldiered on, for his mother. ever the sunshine boy. " i don't know anymore, conrad. i really don't. " his shoulders lifted at the last utterance, brows raised and lips pursed. jeremiah truly didn't know how long this could go on for, for all he knew at the moment it could. what exactly did he know anymore?
" what do you care anyway? you're never here. you were too busy running away, being at college; you weren't there for anyone! it's just conrad's world and everyone else is just living in it. because of you i don't even have steven or belly anymore, i knew you'd break her heart. i know it broke mom's. . . you weren't there for her either. " jeremiah wished he could yell, that they could get into it for real this time; maybe then they'd finally get over it. instead, it brought up all the emotion that jere had fought so hard to keep pushed down where he couldn't feel it. and with his eyes glistening with the beginning of the dam wall breaking inside of him, he uttered a curse and simply walked away. it's what he expected conrad to do.