Word count: 3k
Warning: angst, mention of abortion.
Requested: no but requests are open!
A/N: hi! It's been almost a year since I last posted on here but I've had this idea on my mind for a while now and I just needed to write it down so here it is. I wrote it real quick so I don't think it's one of my best works. Enjoy! and, as always, any feedback is appreciated.
Masterlist
- C'mon! We're gonna be late for your own party! - Ashton shouted while you ran down the stairs of the house you both shared as fast as you could with your high heels.
- I'm ready! - you said and you gave him a quick peck on his cheek while he grabbed the keys to your car.
It was your 25th birthday and Ashton had planned the perfect party. He had rented a house just outside of LA and you both wanted to get there before everyone arrived so you could welcome them. At first, you weren't so excited about the idea because you loved to spend time with your friends but you didn't really enjoy crowded places. But Ashton had convinced you that you only turn 25 once and you should celebrate it.
You arrived right after Calum, who was the first one to get there. One by one all your friends and family got there and you had to admit it was exciting to share the same space with everyone and to know that they were there for you. As the afternoon went by, you all had a few drinks and ate while chatting to each other, there was a chilled environment and you loved it.
When it was around 10PM, Ashton decided it was time for his speech. You knew it was coming sooner or later, he loved to speak in front of people and you loved to listen to him express his love for you so openly.
- Baby, can you come here for a bit? - he asked after everyone was silent. You blushed, the shyness that characterized you coming to the surface.
- Is it really necessary? - you asked making everyone laugh (even though it was a genuine question). Ashton smiled at you softly and you protested silently and started walking towards him.
- Thank you, love - he whispered once you were close enough so that only you would listen.
- So, as everyone already knows - he started his speech - it's y/n's 25th birthday today, which means she's getting old, but don't tell her or she'll freak out - you punched him jokingly on his arm and giggled - and it also means it's the 5th birthday I get to spend with the love of my life - he looked at you and you could see his eyes full of love, making you feel the luckiest girl on the planet. You stared at each other for apparently too long because Luke had to clear his throat to tell him to continue.
- Sorry, I got lost on her, it happens quite often - he said earning a few "aws" from the crowd - So, as I was saying, I couldn't have asked for a better person to spend my life with - he turned to face you and took your hands on his.
- y/n, I know you think I'm too cheesy or sentimental sometimes, but I need to tell you how I feel because I need you to feel loved. You've gone through so much and I've come to realize you must be the strongest person on earth because you have made it out of every possible situation, and always keeping a smile on your face. You've made me the man I am today, you helped me get out of my addiction and you stuck by my side when I didn't deserve you to, but I desperately needed you to. I think we both helped each other to love ourselves and we can put ourselves first in this relationship and I think that's what has kept us strong for a little bit over 5 years now. We went through the saddest event of our life together - you knew he was referring to the abortion you had almost a year ago that nobody knew about except for you two and you couldn't help but shed a few tears. You could tell his eyes were teary too and after a short pause, he continued - but we worked past it and we got out of it together, and stronger than we were before. y/n, you are the love of my life, you are the woman I want to wake up next to every day, my whole heart belongs to you and I couldn't imagine a future without you so - he said while kneeling down, making you cover your mouth with your hands as you realized what was going on.
- Ashton please don't - you tried to say, but you weren't sure if the words had actually come out of your mouth or if they were loud enough for him to listen. You were panicking more than you ever had before and you wished he was able to see it in your eyes. He was always so good at reading you, but this time he didn't, he was too excited himself to notice how your whole body tensed as he continued.
- So, y/f/n, do you wanna marry me? - he asked with hope and happiness written all over his face. You were frozen, this was the last thing you were expecting from this party and you felt suddenly trapped in your own body, unable to move. After a couple of seconds, Ashton tilted his head, waiting for your answer and you could tell he was starting to get nervous. - I... y/n? do you want to marry me? - he insisted and you snapped back to yourself but to everyone's surprise, you turned around and started running towards your car.
You ran as fast as you could. Halfway there you stopped to remove your heels and even though your heart was pumping louder than it ever had before you could listen to your best friend shouting for you to wait for her. But you didn't. You kept running until you got to your car and drove away.
As soon as you got home you started packing a bag. You didn't even know where you were going but you were more than sure you weren't welcome here anymore. You expected to cry at some point but you didn't, all you felt was numb. Not even 10 minutes after you had arrived you had your bag ready and you were about to leave your room when you heard the door open. "Shit" you muttered to yourself.
- Do you want me to stay? - you heard Calum ask from outside the door.
- No, it's fine. I can take it from here.
- Okay, call me if you need anything - he said before you heard the door closing. You took a deep breath, grabbed the bag, and started walking towards the door.
- Are you leaving? - Ashton asked as he saw you enter the living room. His tone wasn't an angry one, as you had expected, he sounded just sad. You were too ashamed to even look at him but you thought that was the least you could do and you built up the courage to look him in the eye.
- I guess, I didn't think you'd want me to stay here
- What? Why not? I wouldn't have asked you to marry me if I wanted you to leave
- No, I know, but I mean, after what just happened. Not only did I reject you but I also run away leaving you all alone to deal with the mess I made and I did it in front of all our friends
- Please stay, we need to talk - he said getting closer to you and you dropped the bag to the floor while he held your hand guiding you through your house. Both of you sat on the kitchen table, the place where you always had your serious talks - I need you, to be honest with me, do you not love me anymore? Have you fallen out of love with me? Is there... - he looked down for a second and you could see his jaw and hands clench - is there someone else you've been seeing? I know you always try to protect me but I need to know, I promise I can handle it
- No, no, no, no, why would you? Well, I mean, I can see why you would think that but no, since the day I met you, there's never been anyone else. And of course, I still love you, I love you more and more every day.
- You love me, just not in the same way I do, right?
- I don't know what you mean
- You say you love me, and I believe you, but you don't love me enough to marry me, is that it? Am I getting it right?
- No, I - you tried to reply
- 'Cause I would give my life for you, do you hear me? I would literally die if it meant you were safe. I'd do anything for you. And to be completely honest, I thought we were on the same page.
- We are, I promise, I would die for you too, Ash. But I don't know, I didn't expect you to ask me to be your wife just then and there, out of nowhere.
- Well, I guess that's the point, it's supposed to be a surprise, you know?
- Yeah, I know, but people talk about it first!
- C'mon! We've talked about it. I've told you a million times I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and all those times you agreed, how was I supposed to know you didn't want to marry me?
- It's not that I don't want to. I do want to wake up next to you every morning and I definitely want to grow old with you.
- What's it then? Why did you run?
- I'm not sure. I panicked. I could perfectly picture us together in 10 years, 20 or 40, and with all our kids and grandkids but I don't know, being your wife? That's a responsibility I doubt I am good enough for. How do you know you won't get tired of me? I mean, I'm great, but we both know I'm not the best you could have. You could literally marry any girl, and you chose me. And I guess I hadn't realized that until tonight and it was just too much for my brain to process at the same time. I'm sorry I ruined everything. See? That's what I mean, I am not perfect.
- I don't want perfect babe, I want you. And I will always want you. You would be the best wife ever, I just know it. You've been the best girlfriend all these years, it's not gonna change because we change the label.
- Of course not, I could never hate you. I get it, maybe I should have talked to you first, not ruining the surprise but making sure you had in mind it could happen soon.
- Yeah, that would have been great - you smiled slightly and relaxed when he smiled back at you. You thought you had ruined your relationship and you could now see that nothing could ruin what you both had, it was too strong.
- By the way, I think your father hates me, I left him quite angry but I didn't really have time to deal with that.
- Oh god, I'm so sorry - you both laughed for a bit, and then you asked - Ash?
- Hmm? - he mumbled looking at you.
- I do want to marry you - you were sure about your decision, you knew there wasn't anyone better for you than him and if he was just as convinced, why not take it a step further?
- Yeah, you do? - he said while he got up from his seat and you did the same - then let me try this again - he reached for the velvet box in the pocket of his jeans.
- You know what? - you said taking the box from his hand - let me try this time - You knelt just as he had done almost an hour ago and took a deep breath - Ashton Irwin, you light up my days, you are the reason I wake up every morning, the first and the last thought I have every day. Every moment I spend with you becomes my favorite one so far and I haven't really had time to prepare this speech and you know I'm not as good as you with words but I love you. I've never known anyone with a busier schedule than yours and you have made time for me every single day I needed it, and I think that shows how much you care for me, and I want you to know I care just as much. Every single feeling you have for me, I have for you, and I couldn't picture my life without you. Ashton Fletcher Irwin, do you want to marry me? - you said as a few tears slipped down your cheeks.
- Yes, of course, I wanna marry you! - he cheered holding your arms and helping you get up so he could kiss you.
- I don't have a ring but you do so, do you mind doing the honors? - you said opening the velvet box. He took the silver ring at slid it down your finger. It fit perfectly and it was the most precious ring you had ever seen.
- Do you like it? - he asked while kissing your cheeks and nose, cleaning the tears that still run down your face.
- I love it boo, it's perfect - you kissed him and the kiss heated up quickly but you took a step back as soon as his grip on your waist got a bit loose.
- What are you doing? I want you - he pouted.
- I know, I want you too but I need to tell you something before - you ran to your purse to get a little present you had planned on giving to Ashton at your birthday party. When you got back to the kitchen, he was already shirtless. You groaned at the view and bit your lower lip - I told you to wait - you said shaking your head so you could focus.
- I can't, you're too hot! - he giggled.
- I love you. Open this - you said handing him the small package. He knitted his brows together.
- I have no idea what this is - he said starting to open it.
- I know - you pressed the record button on your phone without him realizing and put the phone on the countertop so it recorded his reaction. You were excited for him to finally know what you had kept to yourself for almost 4 months now.
- It's a box! - he joked while he ripped out the paper it was wrapped in. As soon as he opened it you could see the tears building upon his eyes and they started running eagerly down his face as he held the tiny converse shoes that were inside the box - Are you? Please tell me you're not kidding me - you shook your head 'no', not able to contain your tears either - Oh my god! Are you okay?
- Yes, we're perfectly fine and healthy - you said while he hugged you and spun you around - I'm 4 months in.
- You're what? And you haven't told me? Babe, you don't have to keep doing things on your own, I'm here for you now.
- I know, I just didn't want to get your hopes up just in case, you know, I failed again
- Don't, please. It wasn't your fault, those horrible things just happen and they shouldn't, but they do, there was nothing you could have done better - he put his hand on your belly softly making you shiver - So that's why you haven't been drinking lately - you nodded.
- And that's why I wasn't in the mood for morning sex either. To be honest, I thought that was gonna give it away.
- Well, I had no clue, I thought it was just a phase. I can't believe we're gonna be parents babe, and you planned on leaving me with our creation inside you? - he teased.
- I hadn't thought about that! okay? I have the perfect excuse, it was the hormones - you laughed and removed his hand off your belly so you could pull your dress up - if you look closely you can clearly see them growing, I think it's showing already.
- Oh my god! It totally is! How have I not noticed this?
- You're not the greatest observer I guess
- Yeah, I'm definitely not. Did you go to the doctor's appointments all by yourself?
- No, Calum always came with me, he's the only one who I knew would keep the secret.
- Calum? Oh, so that's why he was so sure you weren't cheating.
- Did you seriously thought I was seeing someone else? - you asked kind of hurt.
- No, not really. I guess I was just trying to go through every possible situation in my head so that it wouldn't take me by surprise.
- I'm sorry Ash - you said cupping his face with your hands - I shouldn't have run. It's the last thing you deserve. You've done nothing but be there for me all these years.
- So have you, it's okay. Are you ready to share the news with the world? - he asked with a sparkle in his eyes.
- I guess so, I was gonna tell you in front of everyone at the party, now that the first trimester is over the chances of it going
- Shh, don't even think about it. It's gonna be okay - he assured you while he hugged you from behind - let me capture this moment - he got his phone out of his pocket and took a picture of his hand holding yours, with the wedding ring on it, on your belly - perfect - he whispered once he was happy with the result.
He posted it on Instagram with the caption "I couldn't have asked for a better mum for my children, including the one that's on the way. Love you forever y/n, your future husband".
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