As if nothing really matters

Jesse St. James. 20. Coach of Vocal Adrenaline. Stuck here on this vastly strange island. Luckily, I've got a few of my team members still with me. Trouble is, the girl who broke my heart is here also. And so is her unnaturally tall boyfriend. [Just a roleplay people.]

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

Solitary // St. Berry

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

Rachel shook her head when Jesse said that they all made mistakes. She knew that he had hurt her before, but it didn’t make her feel any less worse for what she had done. “That doesn’t make it any better,” she muttered. “Its not about being even and I don’t want it to just be completely absolved because you made a mistake before I did,” she said firmly. She shook her head and reached her finger up to his lips to get him to stop talking when he tried rationalizing what she had done to make it sound like it wasn’t as big a deal just because she was ‘lost in love’. “Its not your job to keep me happy. Especially not after how unhappy I made you,” she muttered after dropping her hand back to her side. “Aside from when you pretty much yelled at me a few days ago..something which I deserved despite the terrible timing, you’ve always been kinder to me than you’ve ever had to. So I accept the fact that I messed up. And I’m sorry,” she said with a nod.

After she quoted him about regretting what she had done, she looked up at him and waited for a response nervously. She wasn’t sure what kind of reaction she’d get out of him. He could probably get annoyed with her for using his words in a different situation, but she was willing to accept whatever reaction he gave her. When he just said that they should put it behind them, she glanced up at him with slight confusion, but nodded silently. “If that’s what you want,” she muttered. When he told her that it wasn’t safe out there, she shrugged and looked around at the spot she had called “home” for the past few days. Her eyes snapped back to him when he said that he missed her. “You really missed me, Jesse?” She looked down when he mentioned Finn. Even though she was worried about him, she didn’t want to think about him right now at this very moment and she felt terrible for it. Her lips cracked into the slightest smile when he poked fun at the fact that she couldn’t get a fire going. Sighing, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his middle to pull him into a hug. Letting her head rest against his chest, she closed her eyes and just stood there for a moment to enjoy the comforting feeling she got from it. “Please don’t pull away,” she murmured quietly.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

"It may not be my job to keep you happy, Rachel, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to do it. I know I told you that I would rather never see you again, but honestly that was a lie. Even if you're with someone else, I still would like to be your friend. I was speaking out of haste, which I shouldn't have done. I could never imagine a life without you in it. Whether it be as friends or more. Or even less. All I know is that, had we never spoken again, I would've been spending mass amounts of money on tickets to your Broadway shows in the future. I probably would've ended up going to every performance, every night and even for the matinees," he laughed lightly. "You may have made me unhappy when you kissed Hudson, but at the same time you made me happy. Just seeing you smile and light up when he was talking to me was enough to make me happy. You also gave me some of the best moments of my life. I had never gone to a prom before because I was always too busy practicing, yet I had so much fun just because I was with you. And all those other moments when we were together. It may kill me inside to know you chose him over me... but you did make me happy. You made me the happiest I've ever been and I suppose that's why I got so angry a few days ago. I thought my happy moments with you were over."

When Rachel asked if he had really missed her, he didn't even respond. He just looked off into her eyes. He knew that Rachel could get the answer just by the look he was giving her. They were always good at being able to read each other. As she wrapped her arms around him for a hug, he smiled and closed his eyes. Resting his head on hers lightly, he wrapped his arms around her and kept her close to his body. He had missed their hugs; the feeling of her body against his was beyound the greatest feeling in the world to him. Not even winning another award could feel this great. "Never," he responded. He would never pull away from her. She would have to be the one to do so. He'd wanting for so long just to hug her again, there was no way he was going to be the one to break it up now.

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

Solitary // St. Berry

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

Rachel grabbed a stick from her pile of wood that she couldn’t get lit to make a fire and began drawing in the sand. There wasn’t very much to do for entertainment ever since the crash. Usually she’d try and sing, but the longer that they went without rescue, the more hope she lost in ever getting off the island. Singing would just remind her of how her dreams would never come true as long as they were stuck here and she was miserable enough as it was. Sighing, she remembered how Jesse told her that he didn’t think she’d make it because of who she had become with Finn. She hadn’t forgotten that these past few days and it had been eating at her. But it was no use now, anyway. After having time to think and relive what she remembered before she blacked out on the plane, she remembered the pilot announcing that they had veered off course because they weren’t showing up on the radar. No one knew where they were and they were probably looking in the wrong place. Upon realizing this, her heart sank completely and she knew that she couldn’t ever sing again while on this island. It would be painful not to do the thing that she loved the most, but it would be even more painful to remember that she couldn’t reach her dreams now even if she tried.

Caught in her own thoughts about her lost dreams and Jesse, she failed to notice him walking up to her in her own little isolated area of the next beach away from the main camp. When he spoke, she flinched and froze for a moment when she realized it was him. She couldn’t really understand why he was here when he probably hated her right now. She nodded silently to answer his question if she had been alone out here this entire time. She noticed how emotionless he seemed and figured he probably really did hate her but wanted to make sure she was still alive. When he began apologizing for what he had previously said to her, she looked back at him with wide eyes. Though he probably shouldn’t have yelled at her the way he did, she still didn’t feel as though he should be the one apologizing right now. Shaking her head, she looked out at the sea for a moment before turning her attention back to him. “You shouldn’t be the one apologizing,” she muttered. Her voice was cracking because she hadn’t used it in days, but she didn’t really care right now. “You were right,” she shrugged. “I messed up in New York. I forgot about what mattered most to me… and I hurt you.”

“I feel so stupid…,” she muttered, burying her face in her hands for a moment. “and terrible.” Sighing, she pushed herself up on her feet and wrapped her arms around herself as she faced him. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry, Jesse. I’m really really sorry for ignoring how you must have been hurting. I’m sorry for letting you down. I’m sorry for all the hurt I must have caused you out of my own selfishness.” She wiped a tear from her cheek and took a breath to prevent any more from escaping. “But you know, looking back now, it sucks that I threw away Nationals. But it doesn’t bother me as much as the fact that I hurt you after how great you treated me…after you tried to help me… and you didn’t even yell at me then… or tell me how stupid I was then… even though you should have. No… you smiled even though you were probably dying inside and I ignored it.” Talking about it made her feel even more terrible, but she knew she couldn’t avoid it. It had to be spoken about eventually and now was better than never. “What I did to you… its my one great regret,” she said, quoting him intentionally as she looked up at him.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Jesse watched as Rachel looked up at him and talked about messing up in New York. He let a sad smile cross his lips as he looked down at the sand. "Well Rachel. We all make mistakes. Even ones that hurt the people we care about," he said, his eyes lifting back up to her. Of course, she would know the comparison he was using in his head. Truth was, they both hurt each other badly and they both regretted it. "In a way, it makes us even, I suppose. Though I'm completely against having to be even to begin with," he sighed. His eyes locked on her while she stood up as she continued talking. "Rachel, don't feel stupid. You're not stupid. When you did that, you were just lost in love. That's why I didn't say anything after the performance. You seemed so happy, who was I to say something and ruin your moment? I failed at keeping you happy, however. Obvious proof by the fact that we're standing in an isolated beach far from the others right now."

Hearing her quote him from before as she finished her apology, Jesse felt all the breath he had leave his body. He was shocked and unsure of how to respond. Had she meant to quote him exactly when he was apologizing for making his similar mistake? Or was it just subconsciously the way she wanted to say it? He looked down for a few seconds before turning to face her again. "Let's put it behind us," was all he could manage to say. After a few seconds of gathering his thoughts, he finally spoke again. "I highly doubt it's safe out here on your own, Rach. Though you've seemed to have adapted well... please come back to the main camp with me? I miss you and worry about you and I'm sure Hudson'll want to see you also. We have a fire going," Jesse's eyes darted to where she had been sitting and the pile of wood as he smiled lightly, "and it seems as though you don't."

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

Solitary // St. Berry

Rachel spent the next few days stubbornly on her own. She had walked down to the next beach over and sat in the sand staring out at the ocean for hours on end to see if she could spot any boats on the horizon. But she never saw a thing. As she sat there, she contemplated everything that happened after the crash. She relived the fight with Jesse in her mind and felt her heart clench at the memory. He probably hated her now and she deserved all of it. She couldn’t believe how she could have been so selfish in the way she hurt him and didn’t even realize that she had done it. As she thought about it, she couldn’t get over the absolute cold look in his eyes. It was so unlike the Jesse she knew. But she figured that she was just asking for it with the way she treated him. Part of her wanted to go back to the main beach and find him to apologize, but she knew he wouldn’t want that. He probably would rather be as far away from her as possible right now and she was going to have to give him that. It was the least she could do after hurting him the way she did.

As she stayed on her own, she attempted to make a fire, but it didn’t really work. The light from the moon and the stars was enough for her anyway. Every day, she’d walk into the jungle and see if she could find any of her friends, but she never found anyone. Part of her wanted to find Finn so she wouldn’t be so alone, but he never showed up. She felt bad for thinking about Jesse more than she thought about her own boyfriend when she didn’t even know he was still alive. But that fight that she had with him was just so intense that it shook her. It made her question everything about herself and her relationship with him. She had thought that she was happy with Finn this year because they had actually managed to have a working relationship without any drama. But the fight with Jesse opened her eyes to the fact that she gave up so much of herself and her dreams to reach that happiness. Was it all worth it?

She knew at the back of her mind that her relationship with Finn likely had an expiration date, no matter how hard she had tried to prevent it. She would have given anything before to get Finn to come with her to New York so she wouldn’t be so alone. Sure, she’d have Kurt, but she still wanted to have love with her. No matter how hard she tried, though, she knew that Finn didn’t have his heart in New York City like she did. If she were to be honest, she still wasn’t sure whether or not he had his heart completely in her. Her time alone also made her reconsider where her heart was. Back in New York, she knew that the stage was her first love, so how did she quickly give that up for a kiss? Winning had been her dream at some point until she made Finn her dream. After all the time thinking over it, she still couldn’t decide if it really was worth it.

As she walked through the jungle, she found a small pond with fresh water and made a habit of stopping by all the time to freshen up and rehydrate. After giving herself a bath, she put her clothes back on and set off back to her isolated beach to sit and think some more. As she squeezed the water out of her hair and tried to detangle it with her fingers, she found herself thinking about Jesse. How was he? Did he find his team? Was he thinking about her? Biting her lip, she sighed and wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled them close to her chest. Despite the fighting and the way things turned out, she found herself actually missing him.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Jesse sighed as he lifted up another piece of luggage that had fallen from the plane. He tossed it into a small pile and stopped after that, turning to face the ocean. He had been thinking about Rachel ever since their fight, the picture of her crying and running off was burnt into his head. He absolutely hated the thought of that. However, he hadn't seen her since and wondered if she had found Finn and forgotten all about him and the fight. There was another part of him that said otherwise though. Unless Rachel found him, he doubted Hudson could manage to figure his way out of the jungle on his own, if that's where he had landed. Jesse managed to find a few Vocal Adrenaline members, still alive, but scared stiff. He tried to his best to keep his team in line and even ordered a few of them to sing while they worked on camp. Not just to keep them practiced for when they got rescued, but also because he found singing made everything easier. He often found himself singing when he was working, trying to get his mind off of Rachel like he always had done before.

"Screw this," he said, tossing the bags he just picked up again aside before turning to start walking down the beach. He needed to find her and apologize. He felt as if he should just leave her alone so she could carry on with her life and her boyfriend, but there was something deep inside Jesse that said he needed to talk to her this one last time. He messed so much up for her, he couldn't just let her be happy and blissful in her life with Finn, could he? No. He couldn't actually. He didn't want her to throw her dreams away for some airhead who doesn't even know who Sondheim was. She may have seemed happy with Finn, but that wasn't who she was. That wasn't her being happy, it was Finn's girlfriend being happy. He wanted Rachel to be happy in her dreams, her life, her Broadway career. Whether or not it involved him, Jesse was not going to let Rachel throw that away. She may have been happy now, but there's no way she could be in the future when she's living in Lima teaching a glee club. That wasn't her destiny; Broadway was.

Leading himself down the beach somewhat, Jesse finally saw Rachel sitting alone and drying her hair. "You shouldn't be alone out here," he gulped, walking to where she sat. "You may be on the beach, but it could be dangerous. Have you been here the whole time?" he asked, slightly concerned. He wasn't sure how he felt at the moment. Though he was worried about her, his voice seemed blank at the moment. He was almost emotionless. Rachel normally softened him up and pulled him out of his heartless mask and into the real Jesse, but right now, Jesse was unaware of her feelings toward him and that just made it all the more worse. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I just want you to be happy in the long run, Rachel. I feel like Finn can't give that to you. However, it isn't any of my business and I suppose I let my pain get the better of me."

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

The beginning of the end// Rachel & Jesse

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

Rachel scoffed immediately when Jesse said that he did believe in her. She put her hands on her hips and prepared to give him a full come back when he started talking about just how much he cared about her and how much it scared him. Her mouth dropped open slightly as she listened, completely unable to speak while he spoke because she hadn’t expected him to say such things. Her eyes widened as she took in what he said and she felt a deep pang of guilt for hurting him in New York the way she did when he obviously loved her. Tears began filling her eyes again and she found herself wrapping her arms around herself to hold herself together so she wouldn’t break down. When he said that he thought Finn would eventually make her break up with him, she shook her head and felt her lip tremble. “That’s not true, Jesse. You’re so wrong. I loved you so much,” she insisted, clenching her eyes shut as a few tears managed to escape. But she knew deep down that he was right. She did tend to be weak when it came to Finn and she wasn’t quite sure why. She just thought that it meant that she loved him and didn’t think much of it. But now that she thought about it, it left a bad feeling in the back of her mind.

She felt as though she’d probably be okay until Jesse told her flat out that he didn’t believe in her anymore because of what she had apparently become with Finn. “Jesse, I’m still her!” she insisted when he told her that he believed in the old Rachel. “Finn has nothing to do with it!” Her eyes widened when he told her that she gave up on her dreams when she kissed Finn. She thought back to Nationals and how determined she was to bring home that trophy. She had been wanting that win for over a year and forgot all about the yearning she felt for it the moment Finn kissed her on stage. It was that song that had gotten to her and she felt herself fall under his spell. Nationals didn’t really seem to matter much after that. Before she could say anything, he went on about how he had given her the space that she had asked him for and how Finn didn’t. It just made her feel more and more terrible. Not only did she hate being wrong, but she was angry at herself for forgetting about her dreams. It really hadn’t crossed her minds since Nationals. She was still in that spell Finn put her under that entire time. As he went on to list reason after reason why she had wanted Finn over him all along, she just started feeling more and more terrible.

When he finished speaking, she felt her knees grow weak and opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. A sob ripped through her and she buried her face in her hands. She felt so terrible for all the pain that she caused him and for what she had obviously become. Add that to the trauma that had just happened and she felt so incredibly weak. Before she thought that she needed to stay near Jesse because she didn’t want to be alone and he made her feel safe, but now she just wanted to be alone with her thoughts so she could process everything he said. Turning on her heel, she ran away from him as fast as she could in the opposite direction. She dodged the screaming passengers and didn’t even bother to see if any of them were her friends because she just had to get away and fast. She wasn’t sure how she could ever face Jesse again or if he wanted to see her again, but right now she just needed to get away. She ran off the beach and into the jungle for a few minutes before crashing down against a tree where she was sure she was alone to hold herself and cry.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Jesse watched as Rachel reacted to everything he was saying. He could suddenly feel a pain in his heart as he watched her start to cry. He couldn't believe he had said all of that stuff. No matter how true it was or how much he had been longing to say it, it wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth making her cry or making her remotely sad in anyway. His eyes went from cold and hard to soft and sad. "I'm sorry," was all he could seem to get out. "I... I just wanted you to see why I..." it didn't matter. Nothing did. It didn't matter how badly the pain was for him, he didn't wish her to experience it too. He didn't want her to suffer like he did. He should've left her alone to be happy with Finn. She could've stayed in her moment of bliss as opposed to having to be miserable and lonely like Jesse was. 

Jesse lowered his head slightly as he watched her run off. He had just wanted to go after her. He take her in his arms and hold her until the tears stopped. He wanted to get her a glass of water like she had said her dads always did when she was sad, but he knew he shouldn't. He was going to let her be. He was going to leave her alone. From now on, she could be happy. He was letting her go and letting her enjoy her life. If you love something, set it free. He kicked some sand as he turned around and walked down the beach in search of Vocal Adrenaline members, trying to let the sound of the waves drown out his thoughts. Jesse couldn't help but continue thinking just how terrible he was at making such big and horrible mistakes. They always came when it involved Rachel too. She made him imperfect. She made him human.

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

The beginning of the end// Rachel & Jesse

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

Rachel looked up at him curiously when Jesse mentioned that he had gone to Mexico. She was about to comment on the fact that he had never told her that he’d been to Mexico before when he mentioned that he had gone after they broke up. Her heart ached as he explained how his parents didn’t support his Broadway dreams. She already knew about this somewhat from what he had told her when they were together, but they didn’t ever really talk about it much because it was such a sore subject. However despite that, she was still very curious as to why he was bringing up such a thing when there was chaos going on around them and people they knew who were missing. “I’m sorry to hear that,” she murmured when he said that his parents haven’t spoken to him since he flunked out. She shook her head when he asked if she knew what the translation of the song was and looked up at him to await an explanation. The corners of her lips curled up slightly as he recited the translation. “That’s nice,” she murmured, looking back down at his wound to continue. But when he started talking about how it related to his life, more specifically the situations between the two of them, she felt her mouth go dry.

When he said that he knew that she would go back to Finn after he had left her, she looked down and shook her head. “That’s not fair. I was heartbroken. Did you expect me to stay pining for you after what happened? Finn was there to help me pick up the pieces…” she said quietly. Her frown deepened when he spoke of not deserving her. “That’s not true, Jesse.” She stopped what she was doing completely when he started talking about how he was the only person to see beyond her voice and appreciate who she was and what she really had to offer. “But Finn…” she began, but couldn’t finish because she had just registered what he said. “You thought I was perfect? You really thought all those things about me?” she asked, feeling her heart clench in her chest tightly. While Finn complimented her ever now and then, he never called her perfect. He’d remind her of her flaws quite often, actually.

She swallowed hard when he told her that Shelby had asked him to befriend her. “You never told me…” she whispered, looking back down and wondering why Shelby never told her that either ever since she came back. Her eyes jumped back up to him when he said that he gone against the plans and had fallen in love with her. She didn’t have much time to process this because he had asked her if she wanted to know why he egged her. She nodded silently and felt her hands shake at the memory. Unable to steady herself enough to continue stitching him up, she paused to listen to what he had to say before even trying to continue. Her jaw clenched at his words and she felt herself grow angry when he spoke about knowing that he would lose her to Finn anyway. But she stayed silent to let him finish what he had to say before she’d speak up. She visibly flinched when his tone had shifted to cold and harsh. It wasn’t a side of Jesse she liked at all.

She teared up when he spoke about how he felt after Nationals. For the first time she had actually considered how Jesse might have felt that day and she wanted to kick herself for having taken so long. She was so caught up in her own happiness that she ignored the possibility that he could have been in agony. As the guilt flooded her, her breathing became more labored as she fought back tears. Her blood went ice cold when he told her that they couldn’t be friends. Her lips trembled at the thought of never having Jesse in her life again and it was all her fault for being so heartless. Her eyes snapped back up to him furiously when he said that he’d be on Broadway while she’d be stuck in Lima with Finn because he’d drag her down. She watched as he pushed himself up and told her to stop acting like she cared about him and about how she broke his heart and made him think he had another chance with her, but that only Finn would get such a chance.

Clenching her fists, she pushed herself up and walked right in front of him to stop him from walking any further. “You’ve had your say and now its my turn. First of all, I know you always like to think that you’re right all the time, but you were absolutely WRONG in thinking that I would have left you for Finn when we were together. You were so incredibly wrong, Jesse. Did I ever tell you how after I thought you broke up with me and then left to go on vacation with your Vocal Adrenaline friends that Finn tried to get me back? He serenaded me with “Jessie’s Girl” and told me that you wouldn’t want to be with me if I was a vocal cripple when I got laryngitis. I could have jumped into his arms then because for all I knew you had already moved on and had no intention on coming back. But I didn’t. Because I loved you. I loved you, Jesse. So when you cracked that egg on my forehead, it killed me because my first true love had abandoned me. And I just couldn’t be alone after that kind of abandonment… and Finn was there. So I clung to him.”

She wiped a few tears from her eyes and looked back up at him. “I’m not finished. I’ll admit that it was cruel of me to hurt you like I did in New York and for that I apologize. I was too selfishly wrapped up in my own happiness to think about you. But you don’t understand that I had been trying so desperately to get Finn back for months and months before you came back. After you broke my heart I grew to depend on him, so of course I wanted to give it another shot with him!” Clenching her teeth together, she tried to breathe, but she was far too worked up. There was one more thing that had irritated her that she had to confront him out. “And I can’t believe that you think I’d be stuck in Lima. This isn’t even about Finn. Its about the fact that you don’t believe in me enough to think that I would ever let anything get in the way of my dreams. Its insulting.”

By now, tears were fully streaming down her face and she felt as though she couldn’t breathe. This was all too much for her to take after just having crashed on an island not very long before. “You should know that NONE of this would have ever happened if you would have actually believed in me from the beginning! I know I messed up a few times, but you should have known that I loved you and that you were my one and only! But you doubted me and you broke my heart! So don’t go putting all the blame on me when a lot of it is your fault too!”

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Jesse clenched his jaw as he listened to Rachel respond to everything he said. "You think I didn't believe in you? That I didn't trust you? Of course I did!" He was furious at the fact that she thought so little of his feelings toward her. "Rachel, if anything you were the only person aside from myself that I actually trusted; that I believed in. Why do you think I got so afraid? I spent my entire life depending on myself, my feelings, and trusting no one - not even my parents. I cared for no one and the only thing I focused on was my career. Of course I trusted you! Of course I believed in you! That's why I ran away. That's why I felt so afraid that you would leave me, I had never cared for anything or anyone more than I did for my future and when I started getting depressed at visions of having that future without you by my side I realized I had gotten in over my head. I couldn't control what I felt for you and I knew someday Hudson would finally make you break up with me. It's him I never trusted. I'm sorry for letting my insecurity about him blind me, but it was a little hard not to, Rachel. I was going off to UCLA. I was going all the way across the country and I was terrified to leave the girl I love back here for two years with the guy she had been chasing for months before I came in, the guy who only started wanting her because he couldn't have her. The guy who apparently made a pass at you every time I turned my back. You're weak when it comes to him, he makes you that way. Yes, I trusted you, but I also knew as long as I could call you my girlfriend and as long as I wasn't in Lima, he would chase after you until I had lost you completely."

Jesse let out a heavy breath and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down. He had never been so outspoken about his feelings before, but he felt she needed to hear it. He felt she needed to finally see what exactly was wrong with him during their relationship. The calming down method didn't work the least bit and Jesse's eyes fluttered open to look at her again. "I don't believe in you. I don't believe you can make it. At least not this version of you. Not the quarterback's girlfriend. I believe in Rachel Berry. I believe she can make it; but you? No," Jesse said, his voice getting softer as he shook his head. "That's exactly it, Rachel. You said you were so happy to kiss Hudson on stage because you had been chasing him the entire time before I came back and that's just it. The Rachel Berry I fell in love with wouldn't be chasing guys, she wouldn't be throwing away everything she was for a guy who couldn't even care less about your feelings on that kiss, as long as he won over the competition. Tell me, Rachel. Did he respect your wishes to not have any distractions from boys before the Nationals competition? I did. I couldn't hold back on seeing you perform, so I came, but at least I did it unknowingly. At least I respected you and how you felt. Did he?"

"And don't give that, 'you were my one and only' nonsense." Jesse took a step back, feeling as if he was going to explode. "I should have been, but many things pushed that down. When you said you wanted to have sex with me and backed out the second time, you told me it was for the team and you wanted to wait, which I respect one hundred percent. But I know that was a lie. The real reason you wanted to hold off was so you could lose your virginity to Hudson. Let's also bring up Run, Joey, Run, shall we? Not only was I triple cast, which as a performer I can fully understand, but you triple cast me with him. You gave him the final and most emotional scene of the song, which should've been my scene. I should've been the one holding you and staring into your eyes, but I wasn't. He was."

Looking down at his feet, he let out another breath. It was heartbreaking to say all this stuff to her, but it was the truth. He wanted the old Rachel back. "And you can't believe I would think you'd be stuck in Lima? Really? You can't? You wouldn't throw your dreams away for some boy? See, that's Rachel Berry speaking. She's in there somewhere, that statement is bold enough to prove that. But then she reverts back to Finn Hudson's girlfriend again. You already did give up your dreams. You did that when you kissed Hudson. You stopped your dream and the dreams of every New Direction member who had been wanting to win Nationals just to kiss him. Though I couldn't see you winning with the lack of choreography and little to no decent instructions, that point is mute to the fact that you willingly threw away any chance you did have at winning by kissing him and you know it, yet you did it anyway. Granted, Nationals is a small price to pay compared to a career on Broadway, but it's a step. It still proves that the determined, talented, amazing Rachel Berry I once knew is slowly deteriorating away right before my eyes. And you let it happen. He's changing you and ruining you and you just let him. Anything to be his girlfriend, right? I don't understand why you can't see how much better you deserve."

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

The beginning of the end// Rachel & Jesse

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

Rachel’s mouth fell open slightly when Jesse said that he had to go look for people who actually cared about him. “What on earth are you trying to say?” she asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Are you actually insinuating that I don’t care about you? How could you say such a thing, Jesse?” she asked, shaking her head in disbelief. When he insisted that he would be okay, she gave him a seriously stern look and put her hands on her hips. “Sit,” she said, pointing to the sand. When he said that he had to hurry up and find his team because it was his duty as their coach, she nodded. “You shouldn’t do it alone, though,” she said as she reached for the alcohol pads to clean the wound. “Sorry if it stings,” she murmured, looking up at him apologetically.

After cleaning the wound, she reached for the needle and wiped it down too before re-threading it. She couldn’t believe what she was about to do, but Jesse had done it for her so she would suck it up and do the same. When he asked if she had ever heard of a certain Spanish song, she looked up and nodded. “I heard it a few times when I joined McKinley’s Latin American Club to boost my credits. They weren’t too welcoming because I’m not Hispanic, but all my activities look good on my application to NYADA,” she said as she began to stitch him up. She may have been rambling like she always did, but talking made it easier. “But anyway, what about it?” she asked in reference to the song he had asked her about.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Jesse watched as Rachel started to stitch him up. He waited minutes after her question about the song before he started speaking again. "I heard it once in Mexico during the summer I spent there; the summer after our break up. My parents took me there as a going away trip for college. They were beyound thrilled that I was going off to college; they always thought my dream to be on Broadway was foolish, which is why going to school all the way across the country was such an enjoyment to them. I suppose that's also why they haven't spoken to me since they found out about me flunking." He froze for a minute before continuing on with his little speech, his words were sad and his eyes stared off into the sand. "Do you know what the metaphorical English translation for that song is? A bird that abandons his first nest, heavenly one, then finds it occupied by another, deserves to lose it. Reminds me of how I left you and if I ever went back, I knew you would have moved on with Hudson and I would've been left in the dark. How I didn't deserve you. Then there's - That beauty mark you have next to your mouth, heavenly one, don't share with anyone but me who appreciates it. How I was ever truly the only one that saw you for more than the girl with a great voice. How I saw you as Rachel Berry and how beautiful and perfect I knew you were. You weren't just talented, you were amazing through and through. I knew I should've been the one for you, because no one else sees you like I do. And finally the last part - Cupid shot off an arrow, heavenly one, and though he was playing, I was wounded. About how I was only meant to befriend you according to Shelby's orders, but I ended up falling in love with you instead."

Jesse let a sad smile cross his lips, his eyes closing and his head falling forward slightly as he remembered back to those days. "Do you know why I egged you that day in the parking lot?" he asked, the memories flooding back into his mind as a shutter came across his body. He hated the day. "Because I knew I couldn't win," he continued, his head raising again as his eyes locked onto hers. "I knew you would always choose Finn over me. I couldn't bare the thought of losing you, so I ended it. Granted, my way of choosing to leave wasn't entirely wise, but I let Vocal Adrenaline take over my mind because I felt I had lost myself in you and I knew that couldn't happen. I knew I couldn't fall in love because I never even thought about the possibility of actually caring for someone more than I do for myself and my career." His tone had changed now, he turned from sad and sweet to cold and harsh. "Then I came back and apologized. I had heard you and Hudson tried out at a romance and it ended, I thought you'd be over him and maybe I would win your heart. But I was wrong. That night at Nationals proved to me that he will always be better than me in your eyes. I may be more talented and better looking, but that's nothing without you. You deserve to be happy Rachel and obviously I'm not the one destined to give that to you, which is why I would ask you kindly to not think of me as your friend. Once all of this is over, I'm going to take Vocal Adrenaline to their victory and then I'm done. I'll be off on Broadway while you're stuck in Lima with your unnaturally tall boyfriend who will drag you down and break your heart." 

Jesse stopped himself from saying much more, he could sense himself growing angry again and refuse to say anything else. He looked down at his leg and noticed it's stitching was good enough. Pulling himself up to a standing position, he looked down at Rachel. "If you wish to come help me search for my team, so be it. But please stop acting like you care about me, it makes the pain of knowing you'll end up running into his arms the next time you see him just that much worse. And also, stop acting like the victim here. You get the happy ending with the man of your dreams and I'm simply the fool who thought maybe love wasn't such a silly thing to have, the man who got his heart shattered by a girl who doesn't even seem to notice; a girl who led me on to thinking I actually had a second chance. But I suppose only Hudson gets the second chance, he's such an angel, isn't it?" Jesse snapped bitterly. His eyes moved away from Rachel's and turned to face the ocean before he started to walk down the beach a little way.

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

The beginning of the end// Rachel & Jesse

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

Rachel hoped Jesse was done when he stopped. But when he told her that he had to continue and that he didn’t have very much left, she whimpered again and nodded. When he grabbed her hand, she looked up at him with tear filled eyes and squeezed it gently. She winced again when the needle pierced her skin and she squeezed his hand tightly to try and get through the pain. When it was done, she ran her fingertips over the stitches and looked up at him to see what was going to happen next. “Thank you, Jesse,” she murmured weakly. She managed a faint, but grateful smile that faded when he let go of her hand and spoke about going to find the rest of his team. His tone had grown cold again and the warmth he had given her since she had woken up had faded.

When he handed her the water, she shook her head and set it down in the sand. She was slightly irritated that he wanted to leave her so soon, especially when she was going to be all by herself in the midst of the chaos. But she was more concerned about the fact that his leg was still bleeding. “Don’t go,” she whispered, reaching out for his arm. Her voice was weak and pleading. It may have been selfish because his duty was to protect his team and not her, but she didn’t want to be alone right now and she wanted to help him with his leg. She ignored the pills as well and pushed herself up off the sand to stand up with him. “Jesse, stop!” she called, yanking him back. “You’re not going anywhere until I look at your leg,” she said firmly. “And don’t argue. Sit down,” she said, pointing to the spot by the tree where he had left her sitting.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Hearing Rachel ask him not to go, Jesse felt the urge to turn around and go back to her, but he knew he shouldn't. "Rachel, I can't. I have to go looking for the people that actually care about me," he said in a harsh tone before feeling her yanking him back. He looked down at his leg as she mentioned it and sighed, "It's fine. Don't worry about it." He knew she wouldn't take that, however. Just looking her in the eyes, he could tell she wouldn't give up and would insist on fixing his leg. "Fine, but quickly. My team is out there somewhere and as their coach, I should go find them." He figured letting her bandage up his leg would be a good thing anyway, it would make his searching a lot less painful.

Jesse moved back to where Rachel had been sitting early and took a seat in her spot, extending his leg so she could see it. He noticed that it wasn't as bad as it felt, and was thankful it wouldn't require too many stitches, or so it looked. Closing his eyes, he tilted his head back and sighed again as he waited for Rachel to stitch him up. His eyes moved down to look at her and he watched her with sad, yet loving eyes. He wished he could stay angry at her and never have to give her an ounce of compassion after the way she shattered his heart, but it was impossible. Jesse was far too in love with her to stop himself from caring. "Have you ever heard of the Spanish song Cielito Lindo?" he asked quietly as he watched her bandage him up.

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

The beginning of the end// Rachel & Jesse

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

Rachel’s eyes kept fluttering open and closed as she struggled to stay awake. Jesse had told her not to fall asleep and she knew it was probably because of a concussion, but it was too hard. She felt so exhausted and all she wanted to do was rest. It was a wonder that she could bring herself to try to sleep with the sound of the fire blazing from the airplane wreckage as well as the screams coming from the other survivors. But the longer she sat there and the more blood seemed to spill from her head, the more distant the screams sounded. She had no idea what was taking Jesse so long and just wanted to fall asleep. So she closed her eyes and decided to rest until he did.

When she heard him calling for her to wake up, she quickly jolted up and forgot for a moment where she was. Looking around at her surroundings, she was very quickly confused. Feeling the sand beneath her reminded her exactly where she was and she sighed. “So it wasn’t all a bad dream,” she murmured, looking up at him with a frown. Her eyes widened in horror when Jesse told her that he had to sew up her head. “No way, we can leave that to one of the medics when help comes,” she said, trying to jerk herself away. But it only took another look around at the chaos around them to remind her that it might be awhile before help came. “Just be gentle, okay? I don’t like needles…”

She squeezed her eyes shut and gritted her teeth as she braced herself for the pain. The feel of the alcohol pad wiping over her cut was enough to make her want to scream. She whimpered and clasped her hand to her mouth to stifle any of her painful cries if it got any worse. Feeling the needle pierce her skin brought tears to her eyes immediately, but she refused to scream. Biting down on her lip, she started to tremble from the pain. She tried to take a deep breath to steady herself so Jesse didn’t mess up because she was moving so much, but it wasn’t easy. When she felt the needle go through again, she couldn’t hold back a small cry of pain. “Jesse….” she whimpered with her hands covering her face as she cried. “No more…”

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Jesse could see that it was hurting her and he hated that he had to continue. He wished he could stop when she asked him to, but he knew he couldn't. There wasn't much more left anyway. He left his hand at her head, holding the needle up for a moment before looking into Rachel's eyes. "I'm almost finished. I'm so sorry, Rachel, but I have to keep going. Once it's finished, you'll feel a lot better, I promise." He lifted his other hand and took hers in his. "Just a little longer, it the pain starts to get to be too much again, just squeeze my hand and try to ignore it," he said with a sad look in his eyes. He couldn't bare her being in so much pain, it hurt him just to have to watch it.

He went back to sewing up her head and after a little while, he was done. It wasn't the best stitch up, but it would do. Jesse took another wipe and lightly moved it over the stitches to wipe away any left over blood. "There, finished," he sighed in relieve before looking down into her eyes again. "You won't lose anymore blood and you'll start to feel better." He knew now that he shouldn't stick around her much longer. Once she was feeling better, she would go back to Finn and he would no longer be needed. "I should go look for my team members," he said with a stern voice, his calming and soothing tone had died now that her cut was better. 

Jesse grabbed pulled out a bottle of water from one of the bags on the beach and poured a bit of it on his leg to wash away some of the blood before handing the bottle over to Rachel, "Here, drink some of it. You need some, I'm guessing. I also found these," he pulled out a bottle of pain pills and handed them over to her, "They will help with the pain." He watched her for another minute to make sure the stitches had stayed before he stood up, feeling another rip of pain in his leg which he ignored as he looked around the beach, trying to get an idea of where his friends might have landed.

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

The beginning of the end// Rachel & Jesse

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

When Rachel felt Jesse’s hand against her cheek, she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. It was so simple and yet so comforting. She nodded slowly when he asked her to stop moving her head so suddenly. “Sorry,” she mumbled, not quite knowing why she was apologizing but feeling the need to. When he insisted that he go search the beach for something in the wreckage to help her head wound, she frowned but nodded again. “Don’t go too far,” she murmured, looking up at him with frightened eyes “And if your leg hurts too much, come back,” she added with genuine concern. When he touched her hair and smiled down at her, she couldn’t help but smile weakly up at him. Even his comment about how he’d miss her diva like personality made the corner of her lips curl up slightly. Anyone referring to her as a diva would usually annoy her, but it didn’t right now.

When he went to leave and instructed her not to fall asleep, she nodded again slowly and leaned her head back against the tree Jesse had left her by. She watched with half opened eyes as he limped through the sand and felt terrible that he was doing this for her. She could have drifted her eyes over to the other people running around the beach, some screaming, some crying, some badly injured. But all she could do was watch Jesse because she was afraid that if she took her eyes off of him for a moment, he’d disappear. He was the first and only familiar face she had seen since the crash and she didn’t want to lose that, no matter what the circumstances were before the flight. As she watched him search, she touched her hand to her head to see if she was still bleeding and she was. She moved her other hand to touch her nose and it felt fine. At least it wasn’t her nose that needed to be fixed. She couldn’t go through another nose injury like before and risk some permanent damage. The longer she waited, though, the sleepier she got and before she knew it, he felt herself drifting away. “Jesse… I’m going to just rest my eyes…” she murmured even though he couldn’t hear.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Jesse went off to start rummaging through some of the bags and pieces of the plane that had fallen and landed on the beach with them. He saw giant strips of metal from the side of the plane and thought about how thankful he was that none of it had landed on him or Rachel. He could hear the yelling and screams of other people and many times Jesse lifted his head to look and see if any of the faces were recognizable. He feared for his Vocal Adrenaline members and wondered if any had survived. He hoped they all did, at or the very least, some did. They were not only his team but many of them were his friends too. He did not want to lose any of them and made a note to himself to go out and find all he could once Rachel was in a manageable state.

Pulling up a bag from the ground, he noticed the official health label on the side and quickly dumped the items out. It was an emergency pack that someone must've brought aboard, maybe even one of the flight attendants. There were alcohol wipes and many small orange bottles which seemed to have contained some pain pills. That was all he could find, however. It seemed as if most of it had fallen out. Jesse moved over to the next bag and about minutes later found a sewing kit. The idea of having to stitch someone's forehead, especially Rachel's, made his stomach flip, but he knew he had to do it. 

He picked up his items and rushed back to the girl who seemed to have fallen to sleep. "Rachel, wake up. No sleeping, remember?" He was thankful that his uncle had been such a fan of doctor shows, which gave him slight knowledge on what to do - the only useful thing that came out of briefly living with his uncle. "Rachel, I have to sew up your forehead to stop the bleeding. Please stay with me. It might hurt, but you'll feel better afterwards." 

Jesse grabbed the alcohol wipes and lightly brushed them over Rachel's cut, not wishing to hurt her but still needing to clean it out best he can. With that, he wiped down the sewing needle and took a piece of black string to tie to the end. String probably wasn't the safest thing to sewing up a cut as bad as Rachel's, but it was better than leaving it open and continuing to let her bleed to death. Carefully piercing the needle through her skin, he clenched his jaw to hold back the urge he had to get sick as he did this. He needed to be strong for at least this moment, then he could go back to being as far away from blood as he wanted. Or at least he hoped.

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

The beginning of the end// Rachel & Jesse

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

Rachel couldn’t understand why Jesse was smiling like he was as he looked down at her. He was supposed to be irritated with her right now. The last she heard from him was his request for her not to talk to him anymore and there he was smiling down at her as though she was the most wonderful sight he had ever laid eyes on. She was just so confused and her head too hurt to think about it very much, so she let it go and just enjoyed it. When he told her not to move, she shook her head and tried to sit up, but was hit by a rush of dizziness from trying to get up too fast. “Not gonna be fine,” she murmured when he assured her she would. “Dying…” Sure, she was being her usual dramatic self, but after the plane crash, she had every right to be.

When he asked if she could stand, she nodded and sat up again. When he spoke about going to find a first aid kit once she was sitting by the tree, she began violently shaking her head and tightened her grip on his shirt. “No, Jesse. Don’t leave me. Please. I don’t want to be alone!” she said really quickly as she started to panic once more. “Please.” She had understood that they had crashed, but she couldn’t quite fully grasp the fact that they were on an island. It was all too much and she just wanted to sleep right now. “So tired…” she murmured, feeling everything grow fuzzy again. Shaking her head, she tried to get a hold of herself so she wouldn’t pass out again. She let Jesse help her stand and walked with him over to the tree and sat down against it. “Stay. I was alone on the plane. I don’t want to be now…” It was then that she noticed his bleeding leg. “Jesse, you’re hurt…” she gasped. “You sit down until help comes.”

[jessest-stranded-blog]

When Rachel started freaking out about him leaving, he hushed her again and helped her up to move over to the tree. When she was relaxed up against it, he placed a hand on her cheek. “Rachel, please stop moving her head so suddenly.” He sighed and looked down, conflicted by her comments. He wanted to stay with her, but he knew he couldn’t let her go much longer with this injury. “I have to go find something to fix your head. Even if help does come, you won’t be here to witness it if I don’t help you. I promise I won’t be long, I am just going to look through the stuff here on the beach. I won’t even leave your sight, alright?” he said.

He shook his head when Rachel mentioned his leg. “Ignore it, that can wait. You can’t, however.” Another smile crossed his lips as she acted so overdramatic about everything. His hand lightly moving up to her hair as he looked her in the eyes. “I’m overjoyed to see the crash didn’t dent your diva like personality. That is certainly a part of you I would’ve missed greatly,” he said, a sad tone to his voice. He knew once Rachel was better they would go back to yelling at each other and she would run into the arms of her boyfriend, leaving Jesse behind yet again. He could only savor this moment with her, even if they were both injured and trapped on his island. “I’m going to go rummage for the first aid kit now. Stay here, I’ll be right back and whatever you do, don’t fall asleep. But at the same time, refrain from moving your head too quickly,” Jesse finished off saying as he gave her one last look before standing up again, ignoring the horrid pain in his leg as he pushed through the plane’s leftovers for something to fix Rachel’s head with.

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

The beginning of the end// Rachel & Jesse

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

If this was what death felt like, it really wasn’t so bad. From what she could tell, it was like floating peacefully in gentle waves. Everything was still black, but it was peaceful. Then a more intense wave hit her and she felt a rush of cold. Her head injury left her far too confused to be able to work out what was going on and she couldn’t even tell if she was conscious or not. Once she started to feel the searing pain through her head, she knew that this wasn’t death. She was slowly starting to wake up with each wave that hit her and that meant feeling more and more pain.

But where was she? The plane had obviously gone down in the ocean, but that’s as much as she could work out in the state she was in. Just when things were starting to grow fuzzy again, she could feel herself being lifted by a pair of strong hands. The next thing she knew, she was starting to hear things. She could have have sworn she heard a voice. It was quite honestly the most beautiful voice in the world calling her name. But before she could register who it was, she was overcome with darkness once more.

As things grew darker and darker, she started to see images playing in her mind. It was like a replay of old memories as she saw her life start to flash before her eyes. Death was surely coming close if she was starting to see theses things. The last thing she saw was her final moments on the plane when she was arguing with Jesse. She hated that they wasted their final moments saying such things to each other and now it was all too late. Jesse was probably dead now and it was likely that she was next. Perhaps if there was an afterlife, they’d see each other again. The thought comforted her and she started looking forward to it. In a few more moments there would be no more pain…

But as she expected the darkness to overcome her, it only began fading away like a fog as things grew brighter. The next thing she knew, she was coughing up ocean water violently. It burned her chest like fire, but she had to clear her lungs so she could breathe again. She gasped and tried to take a deep breath, but she only began coughing again. Through this entire time she hadn’t realized that Jesse was right there with her or that she was clutching to his shirt with her life. Her eyes finally adjusted through the blur and she noticed him for the first time. He was alive. Maybe this meant that the rest of her friends were. Maybe this meant Finn was alive, too. But right now all she could focus on was Jesse. “Jesse?” she said, her voice hoarse. “How?….What??…Where?” She was too confused to get very much else out. “My head hurts…” She reached her hand up to touch her head and saw the blood. The very sight of it sent her into a panic and she began hyperventilating. But her lungs were still too weak and it only made her cough some more.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

The second Rachel woke, Jesse smiled. He smiled all the time when he thought about her or when he looked at the picture of her he always kept in his jeans pocket. But he never smiled like this. The sound of her voice and the sight of her eyes fluttering open was the single greatest thing Jesse had ever witnessed. He had truly thought he was going to lose her and in this moment of realization that he wasn't, he was overjoyed. Suddenly their argument didn't matter in that moment. All that mattered was that Rachel was alive.

When she started to question, he shook his head lightly and shhed her. "Shh, Rachel please. Don't make any sudden movements." He noticed the blood on her hand as she brought it down for her sight. The sudden panic in her as she saw it alarmed Jesse to tell her what he knew. "Relax, it's alright. We'll get you fixed up and you'll be fine. There must be a first aid kit somewhere," he said, lifting his head to look around. His eyes moved back to her quickly, "Can you stand up? I want to move you over by the tree so you have something to sit against and you aren't in the direct sunlight. Then I can go look for a first aid kit to fix your wound."

Jesse's hand rested over hers, the one that was still gripping onto his shirt tightly. "We've just crashed, but you're alright. We're on a beach... must be an island somewhere," he evaluated as he looked around again. 

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

The beginning of the end// Rachel & Jesse

Rachel sat in her seat with her eyes clamped shut and her hands clasped over them for good measure. She kept trying to hum songs to calm her down, but they weren’t working. All she could think about was the fact that she was likely about to die any moment now. And what did she have to show for her life up until this point? She never got to win Nationals or go on to make her Broadway dreams come true and she probably never would now. Aside from that, she was just completely terrified to have to go through this all alone. Finn was sitting somewhere else with one of his friends and Jesse was off in first class hating her. Despite everything, she hated that she was about to die on such terrible terms with Jesse. The last words that they would have said to each other were petty insults and it was too late to go back and fix them.

Accepting that her life was over and she would never get to see her dads or make her dreams come true, a sob ripped through her. Just then the emergency alarms started to go off and the oxygen masks fell. But Rachel was too terrified to open her eyes and reach for one. She just wished that it would happen soon so she wouldn’t have to wait any longer for death to approach. As though answering her prayers, a heavy suitcase fell from the overhead compartment and hit her on the head, knocking her out completely.She missed the plane ripping apart and witnessing people flying out. She missed her own fall through the skies after she herself got sucked out and fell straight down into the ocean where she lay unconsciously floating in the shallow water with blood seeping from the wound on her head.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Jesse could feel the plane starting to tear apart. His eyes darted back many times to see if he could catch a glimpse of Rachel and see if she was okay. He hated that she was alone, as she had said earlier, and had even gone so low as to wish Hudson would get hit over the head so he could get some sense knocked into him. A part of Jesse wanted to fly up from his seat and run back to Rachel and wrap her in his arms, but another part kept him where he was. She broke his heart, why should he be the one running after her again? The pain and confliction in him was seriously so large he was worried his anger was what was making the plane crash. Of course, he knew that was impossible, but that's what it felt like.

Gripping onto the back of the seat in front of him, he closed his eyes and pressed his head against it, both in anger and in fear. He didn't want to witness any of it if he were going to die; if his friends and the girl he loved so painfully much were about to witness a terrible fate. Before Jesse knew it, he could feel his seat being ripped out from underneath him and the air smacking against his skin harder than he ever imagined possible. Seconds later he felt the ground smack against his body, sand flew up in his hair and his face as his body ached from the hard fall. He felt himself slip into total darkness for a few seconds before the sun shone through his tightly closed eyelids. 

Jumping awake, Jesse pushed up from the ground and quickly make it to a standing position, only to feel an immense pain gash through his leg as he looked down to see the red liquid flowing out of a giant cut. He bit his tongue, holding back a scream from the horrid feeling long enough for him to look around. Pieces of the plane continued falling into the ocean and onto the beach, along with the other pieces that already rested on the sand. Jesse's head snapped around to get a view of their new and sudden location. He could see a body laying in the shallow ocean water. It was only until a wave lifted up and revealed dark brown hair did Jesse understand what had happened.

He quickly rushed over to the body, dropping to his knees the second his feet hit the water. Suddenly the pain in his leg was no more, all that mattered was Rachel and getting her to a safer location. The cold water slamming against his body felt nice; the giant wave produced from pieces of the airplane crashing into the water had started to help wash out his bleeding leg, though it wasn't going to help with an infection. Jesse moved his body down closer to Rachel, noticing all the blood around her. He hated himself for the way he treated her on the plane and he knew he had yet again messed up with her.

Jesse scooped her up in his arms and walked best he could out of the water and up onto the beach a little further. His leg throbbed but he ignored it. He set her down and brushed some of her wet hair off of her face. "Rachel," he said, worry had hit his voice. "Rachel please, wake up. Don't die on me, Rachel. Don't," Jesse's voice contained both fear and anger. He might not have liked her attitude at the current moment, but he was not going to let death take her. Placing his lips to hers, he gave her all his breath. He knew he had to do mouth-to-mouth in order to get out any water that might have gotten in her lungs. 

Grabbing a blanket that had luckily fallen not to far from where they were at, Jesse brought it back to Rachel and dried her off a bit before wrapping her up in the blanket and continuing his attempt to save her.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Perfect.

He'd better be making her feel better.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Such a long flight ahead.

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

They are too my family! Families don’t always get along but we stick together. I can’t believe you think that I only think about myself. What on earth are you talking about, Jesse? Who’s heart have I crushed? You’re being utterly ridiculous. And of course you deserve to be happy. I want to see you happy out in New York.I’m starting to think that you’re just being jealous and that’s incredibly immature of you, Jesse. You have no right to speak to me like you are right now. Finn and I are happy and you’re going to have to deal with it.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Fine. You continue thinking that. It's sad how oblivious you are to how horribly they treat you. Though given how horribly Hudson treats you and the fact that you are still with him should've tipped me off to begin with. What exactly do I have to be jealous of Rachel? A relationship that will never last? Why can't you accept that he's just going to break your heart like every other time? Or maybe you'll break his, you tend to favor that way. Don't forget to lead him on first. How about this? How about you don't talk to me for the rest of the flight? And tell your 'oh so flawless' boyfriend to stop walking around, he's causing unnecessary turbulence.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Such a long flight ahead.

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

I’m sorry Jesse, but there is no way Vocal Adrenaline is winning this year. With or without you as coach. New Directions is better than ever and we will most definitely be taking home the trophy this time around. And I am not wasting my time. New Directions is my family, Jesse, and I can’t very well abandon them. We’ll win this together as a team. And don’t you tell me that I don’t know what I deserve. I deserve success and a National Championship. That’s what I deserve. If you don’t want to believe anything I say, then fine. I don’t understand why you’re being so rude to me, Jesse.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

What exactly is different about New Directions that will make them winning material? Face it Rachel, they are not your family. If they were your family, you wouldn't have felt so inclined to please them all the time. At least that's how it seemed when we were dating. They just use you for your talent. They think you're annoying, which they just admitted right in front of all their followers. They don't see you. And that's precisely why New Directions will never win. Of course you don't understand, all you think about is yourself after all. You don't think about the hearts you could be crushing or the spirits you ruin. Not as long as you're happy. I suppose that's alright though, you deserve to be happy. But apparently I don't, so stop trying to be nice to me when we know you would much rather be off getting your face eaten by it.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Such a long flight ahead.

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

Coaching and performing are two different things, Jesse. It demands an entire other set of requirements to make you qualified. Like, maybe a college education? And stop saying such lies! You know your feelings matter to me. I care about you very much, which is why I don’t want you to get comfortable at Carmel and be stuck coaching for the rest of your life because you deserve better!

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Well obviously you're wrong, because I am in fact Vocal Adrenaline's coach and we will be taking home the next National win. What would you even know about the matter? You're still wasting your talent in a show choir that can't even see it's painfully obvious flaws and fix them after two years of nonstop losses. Do me a favor, Rachel? Don't tell me what I deserve. You don't even know what you deserve, why the hell should I believe you know what I do?

[jessest-stranded-blog]

Such a long flight ahead.

[lostgirl-berry-blog]

Of course I know how difficult it is. But I know your parents have a lot of money so it shouldn’t be that hard for you. And Finn is extremely talented for your information! While you may have been qualified for being a Show Choir Consultant, that doesn’t make you qualified to be a full on coach. Besides, you’re so much better than that, Jesse. You shouldn’t limit yourself to such things as coaching.

[jessest-stranded-blog]

You honestly think my parents care enough about my 'foolish dreams' to set me up in New York? And how could I possibly be better if I'm apparently not even good enough to be Vocal Adrenaline's coach? Please, Rachel. Don't try to counteract your comments by saying something nice about my obvious talent. You and I both know my feelings don't matter to you enough to actually care whether or not you're stomping all over them.