Jessie Michelle Deering @jessiedeering - Tumblr Blog

Hi Jessie! I was with you in Camp NaNoWriMo, don't know if you remember me. I'm looking for a way to get my hands on your book, but Amazoncom says it's unavailable. I'm sure you can help me out with a copy? Let me know if there's anything you can do for me? Carolyn/ealamusings says I really have to read it!

Hey, I am so sorry, I literally have no idea how long this has been sitting in my box and figure out how to see. I’m not on Tumblr much anymore. If you’re still around, DM me and I can maybe get you an ebup copy. I did take it down because I wanted to edit out around 15k words and reinstall my original ending, rather than the ones all of my friends wanted. (Which was less angsty.) But, you know, Covid and mental health...

‘Your check engine light is on’

Keeps going through your head

Over and over and over and over again

And you know it’s serious

You know it’s serious.

A cracked block

thecarmillacurator

This is one of the single most beautiful pieces of performance art I have EVER seen. It has it’s fist in my chest, wrapped around my heart, squeezing, massaging, and clenching it.

Megaphone - A Sort of Palindrome

the absence of your presence is a megaphone, blaring in the quiet street an hour before my alarm

an hour before my alarm in the quiet street blaring is a megaphone, the absence of your presence

#why does tumblr mobile mess up paragraph formatting and not let you edit in html?#it wont even let me title the post in mobile

Language Acquisition

two people learning how to hold each other

is a newly formed dialect

full of awkward nuances

#poetry #new poetry #dear future wife #wives

i should maybe go to sleep, lol.

Random Crap

And I’m going just dump this here, even though it was just a random off the cuff word vomit goof off into my discord server on day. A friend copied it down for me for posteriety as evidence I was losing my mind. ;) (Thanks, Jac).

i think my heart... just... faltered my heart faltered, yep took a knee in the dirt and mire collapsed gave up this cannot be unseen, alas i cannot wipe this knowledge from my brow or extinguish it for it is a great, consuming fire it is reverent, self-contained truth it is a feast most to be hungered after, but the starving shall yet faint without obtaining it the mountain rises too high, the atmosphere is too thin and the cliffs are too sheer to scale it is joy, and sorrow. exultation and debasement leaving the forlorn traveller broken in a heap a beauty unobtainable i am forsook knowing where i am, yet it makes me, finds me lost i am a vagrant a destitute ruffian a crusader with no coat of arms to war under or castle to return to it has slain me my grave stone shall go unmarked a monument that shall hold dumb throughout the ages of the cause of my downfall the seed that bloomed to my demise then, far across the scroll of time before this universe shall curl up into itself and find its rest in End it shall crumble and crack into dust just as the heart whose final bed it so marked a cold sentinel that, too, shall vanish and be forgot

Goodbye My Dear Friend I Hope You Find Me Again

mountain caverns and sleeping under orion a wind storm over the banks of the colorado, a long sweaty trek in moab a million rainbows over utah, a lavender evening sky fires in montana, a rainy, tumultuous night im sorry i said goodbye that morning but i had to in the mining town i had to dig deep i had to draw a line for me wolverines and wolves and bison and rattle snakes day old mackenzie river pizza reheated over a smoky campfire a few pints in missoula, old stories from an old friend cowboys in wyoming, bears, and jasper and banf lots of road, lots of miles we never went in the direction we meant to head it’s no surprise that i still miss you ive tried rebuilding that bridge a dozen times im sorry i hurt you, my dear dear friend i guess we both did what we had to do but if you change your mind we could try again

Fucking Love Me

at all costs give a damn about me make me your priority if i retreat, hem me in if i go silent kiss me harshly

and if that doesnt work, open my mouth reach your fist down my throat and forcefully make me surrender my heart

I’m tired

here is a spade dig a grave bury in it your self-hate then fill it in and move forward

Mountain Lovers

high in the mountains let us make a bed the air so thin between us that it makes us breathless let us join, pant and beg tease our own name from the other’s lips let the stars burn in raging jealousy at the glints of blinding affection in our eyes let the night wind howl that it cannot cool our heat let the dark be our blanket and the moon our audience the sunrise will make you glow as i watch in the quiet morning

Paper Boat

let me set this memory free upon a gently mummuring creek, a folded paper boat, and see whether it catches in the eddies

is it silly to wish it would float back to me?

there is. a lover for me. moving and humming and awake, though i am yet still sleeping.

there is. a woman on fire. living and breathing and growing, though i am yet still unborn.

there is. a girl embracing. listening and hearing and comforting, though i am yet still dumb.

there is. a dream on the nightwind. a voice singing caresses of a future, though I am yet still yet deaf.

there is. a soul worthy. to meet my own and take it by the wrists and kiss it until we are one.

there is.

though i am still yet.

Farewell My Hope

i started at seven years tender speaker of stories filling the tub with my hopes and splashing joyfully loud with toy figures i knew what i wanted i grew up older and tougher writer of stories bottling my hopes to have something quenching during days of drought i knew what i wanted i met my years in a crash of form-altering bruises voice dumb, a creature with broken fingers a clumsy, nondexterous monster thick chunks of glass like from a Coke bottle spread over the sidewalk in a cone-like radius at least it was empty when it fell wanting turned to yearing turned to nailbleeding striving turned to turned turned out to be irrelevant

#im fine #just let me express

The Gut Wrench Mechanic That Tightens The Screws on the Soul

do you ever wonder in awe when you cry at how your chest contracts like a vise but your core racks and how

it is the same as vomiting

it is the body spasmatically intervening helplessly doing the only thing it knows to help the soul expel

Are you done hurting me?

i wave the white flag i retreat

#january 25 2020

The Curse of the Listener™️

if you love me, notice i purposefully make space and time for you. in return, maybe invite me to share the dance floor. if you love me, dont use the start of my story as a springboard to interrupt and launch your own, but then forget i was talking in the first place. i should be more than hands you grab for only when it’s you who needs the reliable friend. my mind holds things of interest; the facets of my life merit query as much as do your own.

if you remember to love me at some point remember: i am in actuality a breathing, human thing not a pair of machine-vended ears a no-water-needed plastic cactus

i, also, exist: and am don’t use me in a way that makes me feel i’d rather be alone. 2020(c) Jessie Michelle Deering

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Jessie Michelle Deering