Live fast, die young

[He sighs, leaning his head on hers.] Dominique will give you everlasting hell and then make him miserable if he treats you poorly ever, which will pale in comparison to what Esme and I will do when she’s done. Haven’t met her, but it’s what I can assume from what I’ve gleaned. [He purses his lips, studying him.] The term I have heard is starfish, the sort who lays back and hopes the other person will just do all the work. It’s a thing that happens among attractive people, I’m told. Yes, of course we’re talking about Scorpius. Merlin, I hope he’s not a starfish…

[He raises a brow at Tyler.] Scorpius is my b- [He stops, frowns, narrows his eyes at the ground.] He’s my- He’s… Scorpius is a stripper.

[Jess slings an arm around his waist and hugs him into her side almost protectively.] I love you guys and how you're threatening to maim my hubby. Watch out, Ty. I'd sleep with my eyes open. He doesn't look scary but he can be. Boo!

This dick might be a starfish. I know from watching you and Blondie in our walk down Memory Lane, via my pensieve, that he is most definitely not a starfish. At all.

A stripper?

Terribly sorry, Salem Slut, but can't catch you up on the history. Too complicated and you're too much of a twat. Grab us some ice-cream, would you? I'll give you a pillow to sleep on the couch tonight in return.

Cunt. [Mutters angrily and walks off to get ice-cream, without asking what they want for flavours.]

[Watches Tyler go before looking at Bastian.] You doing okay there, buddy?

[He laughs softly, allowing her to hug him and returning it tightly, a sort of hug he hasn’t really given her since sixth year.] You accidentally got married on assignment? Merlin, you make the most wonderful decisions, love. [He turns, raising an eyebrow at Tyler and surveying him.] No, you’re right, he’s definitely very pretty. I, on the other hand, would have been on him inside of a week. My willpower is low and he’s pretty.

This is assuming there was not a blonde stripper I was holding out for, of course.

[Messing his hair up, Jess leans into his side and leans her head on Bastian's shoulder, ignoring Mr. Warrington.] Hey, life isn't ever boring, is it? I have that, at least. Fuck knows what the heck Dommy will say. [Snorting, Jess grins.] He is, isn't he? But he doesn't look like he'd be good in bed. Too damn whiny. He'd be the sort to tell you 'Harder.' every five seconds. Annoying fuck. But elaborate on the blonde stripper. We talking about Scorp?

Thought 'bout me in bed in detail, have ya, Warrington? Interesting.

And the fuck is a 'Scorp'?

missesmereldanott

Ugh, American beach weather. How positively dreadful. No wonder he’s chilly. But of course. Excuse me, another whiskey over here please. Right, so how’ve you been?

Oi, gentlemen don’t call their wives bitches. That’s just rude. And uncouth. Unseemly, Mr. Warrington.

He's a pain in the arse is what he is. Been great. Or at least I was until this shit happened. Ugh. Thanks for the whiskey, Es. Keep 'em coming, bartender.

He isn't a gentleman. He's a twat.

One, it's Mr. Chapman, babe. And two, don't call her my wife. Merlin. And the bitch threw tea on my dick in the plane. I'll call her what I please.

#chat: esme

You married the whiny thing? [He gives Tyler an appraising glance and dismisses him almost immediately] He doesn’t need a name. Where did you get it? More importantly, why did you get it?

Missed you too, darling. You’ve been in the States, I hear?

[Jess smirks at the way Tyler gets completely ignored and pulls her friend into a hug, dropping a smacking kiss on his cheek.] You heard right. I was on assignment. But I got drunk and ended up getting hitched. Always knew the life of an alcoholic would get me fucked. Ironically enough, I don't even want to fuck him. He's too--- pretty. What d'you think?

'M NOT 'PRETTY'.

missesmereldanott

Darling. It’s August. Hey, Jess, long time, no see. Where’d you pick up the pussy?

Too long. Get me a drink, too, please? This bloody twat makes the need to be drunk at all times sort of a necessity. Also, L.A.

Hey, babe. I'm Tyler. Married to this bitch.

#chat: esme

Get it together, darling. It’s summer. Put on a coat and get an umbrella.

Jess, dear, why do you have a handsome, whiny… thing?

I know, right? Fucking Americans.

Bast, hey, missed you. Meet my husband. Arsehole Chapman.

'M Tyler.

#whoever wants can walk into this exchange

Oh, London.

It's too fucking cold.

Pussy.

The 411 on Jessica Warrington.

After Zooey's suicide, Jess lost control, sunk into depression due to guilt over not being the friend she ought to have been simply because she had been mad at Zooey. Diving into work, her job took her to work in L.A. where she began to see a psychiatrist who gave her medication to deal with the depression

When the leader of 'The Kin' -- who was the Finch-Fletchley's father, apparently -- used Dianna as a tool. Liam got caught in the crossfire doing his job as an Auror, but the mess was handled and Dianna was carted off to Mungo's. Unstable and unable to handle more drama in her life, she began to back away from her and Liam's relationship. It was like she wasn't there anymore unless she was with Dom. It wasn't much later after Liam recovered that the couple decided that they needed to find themselves and they were better off as friends right now.

With the consolation that she hadn't lost Liam while he went off on missions away from England -- still writing to Jess religiously -- Jess went back to L.A. for work, too. Every weekend, she came back to see Dom, safe with the knowledge that she had a 'chat' with Roy about taking care of her best mate. She still depends on her pills now, but is doing sufficiently better.

The bump in the road for the former Gryffindor instead is that she got plastered one night with a few friends from work -- good ones, since it hadn't ever been a problem for her to love people or to be loved in return -- and accidentally ended up marrying the one co-worker of hers that she could not stand. She can't have the marriage annulled without giving the blighter and their marriage 'a chance', because the bloody wanker of a judge had been a sentimental sod.

So, Jess finally returns to her office in the England Ministry of Magic, with her new husband, Tyler Chapman, with no idea how any of her friends will react. She doesn't even want to think about what her ex-boyfriend/new mate Liam Finch-Fletchley will think of it.

#about #yeah so that happened

slicesxofxdeath-blog

No really. Only kind of drunk. I only get really drunk at parties or at home. Oh, yes. Dom is lovely. Jess, her best mate, right? I’m Roy’s as you’re hers.

#d'you know what they shall be?#WARFIELD #chat #lawrence

Oh? When I get drunk, I go all the way. Nothing else feels like doing it justice. The principle of the thing. Huh. Well, I can finally put a face to the name. Hi.

slicesxofxdeath-blog

[Grins, pleased as she smirks] Does it? I spend a lot of time in bars, kind of drunk. We may have met. Lawrence Sheffield, at your service.

#dom mentioned him when she told jess about rominique #also rominique gave it a shot for a year before they broke up i'm sure they would have heard about one another #chat #lawrence

I'm guessing it might be more than kind of drunk... But hey, alcohol is lovely. Consume away, mate. D'you by any chance know Dom Weasley?

slicesxofxdeath-blog

Lawrence is my name, since ‘honest and endearing arsehole’ will end up being a mouthful to manage at some point, I’m sure.

Mouthful... [Jess can't hold back a snort at the double entendre, eye bright as she smirks] Nice to meet you. For some reason, your name sounds familiar... Are you- have we met?

I wonder if Jess would kill me if I got another dog...

*Frowns slightly* She’ll adapt. She will see this adorable little kitten that will just want to love her, and eventually she will give in. They just have to get used to one another! But if you want another dog insteaddddd then I won’t argue *Grins and bats her eyelashes*

[Jess rolls her eyes and sighs dramatically.] If this one pees in my room, I am peeing on you. Deal?

#chat #dom

I wonder if Jess would kill me if I got another dog...

*Lowers the dog and puts her back on the ground, still smiling* OK well… pros? Another warm lovable friend to cuddle with on the couch when we’re sad? Plus, it doesn’t need to be a dog. We can get a cat if you want… and I’ll let you name herrrrr

#jess just can't even with dom rn #STOP BEING ADORABLE DOMINQUE WEASLEY

What if Lola doesn't like the new cat, Dommy? It has to be a dog, now!

I wonder if Jess would kill me if I got another dog...

*Puts on a pouty face* But I feel bad for her when she gets left all alone some days. That poor little baby face … *calls Lola over and holds her up* Look at it