my favorite past time (3/?)
Another installment of Dex/Sean the LAX bro. I have no idea what I’m doing.
“I go over to check on our precious frog, make sure the LAX bros haven’t killed him and sacrificed him to the douchebro gods, risking my life and safety just to do it, and what do I find?” Shitty yells all this as he marches around the couch, where Dex is sitting, alone. Encircling the couch is the rest of the team, watching Shitty as he works himself into a rant, and Dex fidgets uncomfortably. “Betrayal! That’s what I find!”
“Only loyal people may call me Shitty! You will refer to me as Mr. Knight or Lord Sir!”
Dex sighs, exasperated. “Shitty-”
“Silence!” Shitty points the hockey stick in his hand at Dex, menace in his eyes. “You have broken the most sacred law of our covenant.”
“Fucking- it’s not a cult and I signed nothing.”
“It is not something you sign, my bad sir, but something you live.” Shitty stares Dex down, complete outrage in his face, and Dex stares back, a little scared and a little guilty but mostly just amused.
“Um, Shitty?” Bitty looks incredibly uncomfortable, raising his hand partially in the air. “If I may?”
Shitty makes a welcoming gesture with the hockey stick. “Of course, young Bits.”
Bitty gives a strained smile at that and then looks to Dex. “I’d just like to clarify, honey, that we aren’t mad about it being a boy, we are completely okay with that and we love you no matter what.” Everyone encircling the couch nods along with him.
Shitty’s demeanor changes in a second, his posture relaxing and his face donning his normal, chill Shitty expression. “Shit, yeah, yeah totes, brah, we accept you in all forms, whoever you are, man.”
“Uh, thanks.” Dex can’t say it isn’t nice, as if this happened back home this would not be the reaction, but he can’t help but find the words slightly insincere when they’re about to choose his punishment for fucking a LAX bro.
“Full offense, but you have horrible taste,” Shitty adds after a moment and Dex shrugs.
“It’s just a hook up, he doesn’t have to be interesting, just good in bed.”
“Um, what?” Holster butts in. “I thought you guys were dating or something. Like, we’d have to put up with this dude.” He shrugs. “No problem with a EWB situation.”
“Enemies with benefits,” Ransom says, nodding solemnly.
“Yeah.” Holster gestures vaguely. “I mean, I’ve totally fucked a LAX bro. No strings attached.”
The entire room gasps. A minute later, Dex is no longer alone on the couch. Shitty is now on top of the coffee table. Things have slightly escalated.
titsay
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