[jirainaxa]

—

hello , i was @/rinsheaven but i moved .

my name is Ivan , Nikki , Ame & Rin (no preference) and i go by he / she / it . this is a jirai blog so tw for triggering topics like $h , vents , etc . BLOCK DON'T REPORT.

( art creds : shometsu02 for headers, ps3udonymm for all icons. All artists all on X / Twitter!! )

fandoms and more below cut

fandom : pokemon , honkai star rail , genshin impact , zenless zone zero , love and deepspace , bandori , enstars , MXTX , Alien Stage , Chainsaw Man , NSO ... more that i cant remember rn .

fictionkins : Ivan (ALNST) , Ame-chan (NSO) , questioning ????? Anaxagoras (HSR) and Denji (CSM)

yumeship list

romantic

ibara saegusa & kuro kiryu (enstars) , choso & sukuna (JJK) , Till (ALNST) , Sylus & Caleb (LADS)

platonic

Kanna Natsu (enstars) , sua (ALNST)

dni pro/dark/comshippers , self proclaimed incels , fashion-only jirais , denji x makima shippers , makima fans , himeno fans , bigots in general . i block freely

tag system

♱ anaxa's wisdom ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ - general

ᛝ shall the gods scarns your very existence .·°՞(¯□¯)՞°·. - vent

𖤐 bold students ⪩. .⪨ - anons / asks / wtv

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 coding knowledge ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)  - yapping about original universe

⌗ anaxa's paintings >⩊< - drawings / art

𓆩♱𓆪 those with unwavering faith . . . — hellenistic worship related

creds : graphics by @yaesweets <3

[jirainaxa]

im trying so hard to not ball my eyes out why are you gone for 2 hours without any explanation WHY ARENT YOU BACK ALREADY

[jirainaxa]

i can repost all the vent videos i want no one will ever care anyway

[jirainaxa]

i dont feel like im real

[jirainaxa]

i look on the mirror and i can't recognize myself , it feels like i should be someone else

[jirainaxa]

i dont feel like im real

[jirainaxa]

é completamente inútil tentar fazer que ele me entenda e se importe comigo , então meio que fodase . ja to acostumada a ser tratada pior doq bicho mesmo . vou só falar oq vc quer ouvir , depois nao venha reclamar q eu to "diferente"

[jirainaxa]

nada doq eu faço adianta então nao vou fazer nada

[jirainaxa]

que vazio gigante na minha alma

[jirainaxa]

é completamente inútil tentar fazer que ele me entenda e se importe comigo , então meio que fodase . ja to acostumada a ser tratada pior doq bicho mesmo . vou só falar oq vc quer ouvir , depois nao venha reclamar q eu to "diferente"

[jirainaxa]

i should js mirror whatever people say and never show a inch of real emotions or thoughts

[jirainaxa]

ja q vc nao quer saber dos meus sentimentos ent eu simplesmente vou parar de demonstrar qualquer emoção e agir do jeitinho que você age comigo , quero ver se é tão bom assim

[jirainaxa]

i never open up to you about what i feel because it always turns into a fight and not even once my feelings are considered. like not even an acknowledgement? not even a "oh i understand" ? not a "sorry"? how many times did i had to grovel and beg to fall under your graces again ? all that jsut to never have half of the effort back ? i genuinely cant remember a single time where i got an apology it was always me who had to beg .

[jirainaxa]

tried to explain my feelings but again i didnt even got acknowledged and it got turned into a "what about me" man i really hate myself

[jirainaxa]

maybe im naive and dumb enough to think that anyone actually cares

[jirainaxa]

trying so hard to jot split and ruin everything again

[jirainaxa]

ill do anything for you to love me again if you dont like me now ill change for you

[jirainaxa]

i never open up to you about what i feel because it always turns into a fight and not even once my feelings are considered. like not even an acknowledgement? not even a "oh i understand" ? not a "sorry"? how many times did i had to grovel and beg to fall under your graces again ? all that jsut to never have half of the effort back ? i genuinely cant remember a single time where i got an apology it was always me who had to beg .

[jirainaxa]

tried to explain my feelings but again i didnt even got acknowledged and it got turned into a "what about me" man i really hate myself

[jirainaxa]

maybe im naive and dumb enough to think that anyone actually cares

[jirainaxa]

i dont have thebnwedgy to do anything

[paufey]

( 𓏼 🥁 𓏼) … paufey presents : wemmbu layout.

// ── ✦ › suggester? me myself and I.

──── 𓈒 ୭ৎ reblog && credit artists to use !!

( art creds : shometsu02 for headers, ps3udonymm for all icons. All artists all on X / Twitter!! )

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 paufey last thoughts .ᐟ originally meant to be a tax duo layout.. I had a whole header and banner ready.. but I hated the colors and the way the header turned out 🥹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 so wemmbu layout instead !! You may need to size down the icons depending on your preference btw !! I will now be focusing on finishing layouts for editfight !!

[cogniris]

✶⠀WEMMBU TUMBLR LAYOUT

[ …? ]⠀ requested by :⠀ @ anon⠀𓈒 𓏸𓈒

⠀⠀      ›⠀↻ & give creds to artist(s) to use ﹗

artist creds :⠀“ Digi_Reii (right icon), mahvu2521 (left banner and left icon) & rverofdndlons (right banner). ”⠀︵⏜

💭 : ⠀alt icons under cut! bad divs cause i suck

taglist : @doublewammy @cyupidkisswr

[PT: wemmbu tumblr layout. requested by anonymous. reblog and give credits to artists to use. artist credits are Digi_Reii (right icon), mahvu2521 (left banner and left icon) & rverofdndlons (right banner). alt icons under cut. /End PT.]

[jirainaxa]

yk im yoo fucked qhen i cant people please

[jirainaxa]

whats the purpose of people pleasing if NONONE IS PLEASED

[jirainaxa]

yk im yoo fucked qhen i cant people please