OH WOW MI JUNG 🥺 AND JACOB GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER "i've lost you once, i won't lose you again." was so cheesy but as a hopeless romantic i love that so much ngl this ending hits home a bit harder but thats just personal preference (and maybe bc i have never been to europe so 🧍🏻♀️)
is it bad i agree like i think hj's ending stuck alot better than ju's and i'm not really sure why. i mean some people are gonna tell me bec their characters are better for each other but it's not like i didn't write ju as such dreamy boyfriend you'd want to have looking for you on the other side of the globe 😭
no bc having to wait for someone you love is already so hard in reality so the thought of hyunjae possibly waiting for nothing still lingers a bit in my head + it’s very touching to see that he still waited for seol eun like BRO THE DEDICASHUN >< even if it was meant to be his end game i think it’s fine as it is!!
okay . OKAY. for juyeon’s, was it bad that i had my hopes up just like seol eun 😭 and in /that/ part i had to take a pause bc i was vibrating on my bed like a bug sprayed cockroach HAAHBSJSBDJ
im about to read hyunjae’s now, good luck to me 🥲
I WAS JUST WAITING FOR YOU TO COME ONLINE TO READ AND COME SCREAM TO MY ASKBOX JSJSJSJ
okay . OKAY. for juyeon’s, was it bad that i had my hopes up just like seol eun 😭 and in /that/ part i had to take a pause bc i was vibrating on my bed like a bug sprayed cockroach HAAHBSJSBDJ
im about to read hyunjae’s now, good luck to me 🥲
I WAS JUST WAITING FOR YOU TO COME ONLINE TO READ AND COME SCREAM TO MY ASKBOX JSJSJSJ
synopsis: hwang seol eun finds herself stuck between a toxic relationship with lee hyunjae and a heart-fluttering dynamic with lee juyeon
pairing: jujae x [fem] reader, 3rd person pov [read as hwang seol eun]
genre [per chapter]: angst, fluff
word count: 3.1k
taglist: @hyunjaethereal @yyyerum @purrple-winkle @17scheol @ten-gift @louvyves @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @flwrtbz @gyujaehyun @i2gyus @sunwoowuvbot @softforqiankun @givememunjang @peachyho @vousty @bubutaeyongie @sofie296 @deputyjuyeon @changminurheart @from-xero @grassbutneo @sknyuz @pockyandme @itstbz @bluecrane01 @glitteringcoffeefreak [pls use this link to submit your URLs for tagging!]
maybe the resolution’s worked for seol eun, albeit the world falling a little too quiet ever since sang hee told her about why sang hyuk had been so quiet, so distant, so non-threatening.
though it was strange to carry out the exhibition without the man-of-the-show present, it still went on and it got good reviews. good enough for the events company to offer her a small pay raise.
but a week went by, then two, and everything seemed a little too perfect for her to accept. no ryu sang hyuk, no calls from sang hee, no hyunjae in sight. just mi jung still frolicking about with jacob - god knows what they’re doing - and juyeon showing up to the exhibition hall to pick her up from work and go to dinner, sometimes with snacks.
if this sounds familiar, it is. its a recurring routine going over and over again for the last few weeks, and seal eun still cannot wrap her finger around it. something is amiss, something feels weird.
something doesn’t feel right.
she chooses to ignore it. maybe she was just not used to such a quiet life after a long while.
eventually, the exhibition wraps. it’s a bittersweet experience, this one especially.
seol eun’s reporting officer offers to pay for a huge company meal at a nearby korean bbq place near the office, but on one condition: everyone involved in this exhibition is present.
“i would like to make a toast to hwang seol eun,” mi jung stands with the glass of mixed yoghurt and soju in her hand, her cheeks pink from already having some. “for pulling through yet another sexy exhibition.”
their colleagues agree, and in this moment, seol eun is yet again grateful for how kind and friendly her working environment is. she may not be that close to anybody else besides mi jung, but it’s not like anybody was out to take her down or make her life miserable.
“aye.”
“that’s right.”
“to hwang seol eun!”
she smiles, not saying much, as she waits for mi jung to sit back down before gesturing up into the air with her glass of yoghurt and soju.
“say, how come lee juyeon didn’t come today? i’m sure our lovely bosses wouldn’t have minded. he was a client after all!”
“he’s been busy at work,” seol eun places the shot glass down and nods her head, watching her bosses grin from ear to ear at the reminder that she was now dating a previous client. “after our exhibition for him, he got a lot more offers for museum exhibits or home renovation offers. to buy the artefacts and the art pieces, of course.”
“that result was still to your ability, seol eun,” one of her supervisors provide a reassuring smile. “congratulations on your relationship with lee juyeon, by the way.”
and with a clink, seol eun’s supervisor downs her shot of soju.
in the heat of all things, seol eun can’t help but to feeling the overwhelming feeling of her life falling in place. though mi jung was drunk and seol eun had to stay and call jacob while her colleagues went home, she didn’t mind.
“you know…” mi jung groans, slouching her long torso against seol eun as the last colleague leaves. “jacob might be a no-resolution issue… but i’m so happy you have that with ryu sang hyuk.”
“mm?” seol eun hums, turning to look at her and patting her head. “me too.”
“i was so relieved when you told me he’s gonna go to switzerland with his family… i don’t think i’d be able to stay and watch you cry or be upset over and over again… especially with those two boys of yours around.”
“two?” seol eun tucks mi jung’s hair behind her ear. “i’ve stuck with one now, haven’t you heard?”
“and i am so proud of you!” mi jung suddenly sits up and grabs seol eun’s arms. “god, i would’ve slapped you if you didn’t make a decision.”
“i wouldn’t dare,” seol eun snickers, eyes darting to the car turning in. “hey, cobie’s here.”
“don’t you dare call him that,” mi jung whines and pouts at her, swatting her on the arm. “big ol’ puppy is mine.”
seol eun laughs as the car turns around the pick up point and stops infront of them. jacob comes out the driver’s seat, jogging to the two with an embarrassed grin on his face.
“i’m so sorry you had to wait, how’s she?”
“cobie!” mi jung squeals, throwing her arms over his shoulders. it doesn’t prove much of an issue though, since she’s not that much shorter than him.
“oh, that bad, huh?” jacob receives her like a parcel, his arm naturally snaking around her waist and the other cupping her chin to scan her face.
“you know, anybody would think you got back together if they didn’t know,” seol eun smirks, folding her arms as mi jung sinks her head into his shoulder.
“i know,” jacob nods and strokes the back of her head, resting his cheek against her hair. “i’m considering not going back to canada.”
seol eun’s eyes widen, only to be received with a gentle smile from him, “do you need a ride back?”
“no, i drove here. you take care of her.”
“i will,” he pushes her hair out of her face and pulls one of her arms over his shoulders. “goodnight, seol eun.”
“goodnight.”
seol eun sucks in a deep breath in the chilly night, patiently waiting as jacob settles her in the backseat and pulls her heels off.
seol eun hadn't really noticed she spent so much time thinking in the driver's seat of her car until now. it was parked in the carpark behind the kbbq restaurant, and the restaurants along the street were closing down one by one, with their staff throwing pails of water over the floor and throwing out the trash.
it's over, she thinks. this exhibition was my last shave with ryu sang hyuk, and now that hyungwon's family was taking him away, that was it.
and i didn't even see him that much during the exhibition.
with a gentle huff, she finally pulls the car into drive and moves off.
on the account that it was a friday night, the streets were still crowded. the pubs and bars were still open, people were still frolicking about and some drunkards were raising their bottles and toasting to whatever they wanted to celebrate or grieve over.
but she's stopped by a red light, and at the junction next to a quiet bar, she sees a familiar silhouette sitting on the curb.
a frown settles on her face as he looks up and across the street at another party of people eating. he had an empty glass in his hand, and his cheeks were pinked from (what she assumed was) the alcohol.
another man comes up from behind him, tipsy. he unintentionally trips over him, which hyunjae ignores but the man lowers himself and yells at him, to which hyunjae had nothing to say. he simply gets up and leaves, walking down the street as if the glass was his.
one of the bar staff members rushes out of the eatery, calling after him for the glass.
HONK!
seol eun jolts out of her trance, looking in the rear mirror and seeing a line of cars behind hers. the traffic light had turned green.
with her heart racing, she releases the brake and moves.
the staff had caught up with hyunjae, who lets her take the glass without much effort. she looks like she's asking if he needs a ride home, but there's a shake of his head- and seol eun has driven past them.
her fingers grip into the steering wheel tighter, the car going annoyingly slow.
either do it, or ignore it.
but the u-turn sign in the middle of the road flashes in a reflection from the headlights, and she makes a rash turn.
hyunjae was trotting along the roadside with his head hung low as he walked in a line that wasn't really a line. seol eun slows her car down, beeping the hazard warning button as she stops.
she would've yelled over to the other window and tell him to get in, but he looks so... distraught, she didn't have the heart to bother him.
so she waits for traffic to clear before taking her chance and stepping out of the vehicle, walking around the hood of the car and stopping in his path.
"what are you doing here?" she reaches out and holds one of his shoulders, forcing him to look up from the ground. his eyes are glassy, and his face looked rounder than what she remembered.
her eyes dart between his, yearning for him to possibly give her a full-blown speech about how he was here on his own accord. maybe he had been crying about hyungwon, and not her.
hyunjae burrows furrow, then he lifts an arm and gently pushes her hand off his shoulder. "why are you here?" he chokes. "you should be with juyeon..."
with a sniffle, he brushes past her, stumbling into his next step.
"you know," he croaks, as he sluggishly pauses in his movement, not even bothering to turn around to face her. "i thought about it. about what you said, that i'm using you to mend my mistake... and you know what? you're right."
now, he turns around, teary-eyed and nose reddened.
"i'm sorry that i used you to help myself. i don't think it's wrong, but i know it's unfair. especially when you're with someone else," he shakes his head and winces at the ground. "but i do love you."
seol eun exhales heavily. she didn't even know she had been holding her breath.
"i just..." he gulps and looks up into the distance, blinking his tears away as he sucks in a deep breath. he turns to her, eyes bearing into her soul.
"it hurts to know that there's only one of you."
god damn it.
seol eun winces to herself, raising her hands and resting them on her hips as she looks at him. "look, just... do me a favour and shut up, okay?" she strides towards him, extending a hand and resting it on his shoulder. "i'll drive you home."
"no," he groans under his breath, trying to shrug her hand away. "i can't. you can't. juyeon-"
"don't worry about juyeon, okay? listen to me for once and let me take you home. you're in no state to go home on your own."
"i'll just sleep on the streets."
"and what will hyungwon think of that, if he knew you got yourself drunk like this and treated yourself like trash?"
the name obviously strikes a chord in him, for his whining stops and he's gritting his teeth at the ground.
"he's leaving in days," she whispers, but loud enough for him to hear. "it's not worth getting into this state now. at least not before you see him go."
he wants to bicker with her again. she knows hyungwon was a cheat card.
but they both have a soft spot for the same child; one that they would never bicker with each other over.
so, hyunjae's shoulders slack as he gives in, and seol eun manages to push him towards the passengers' car door as she pulls it open.
hyunjae remained drifting in and out of sleep in the car, his eyes gradually shutting but never long enough for him to fall asleep. seol eun can smell the alcohol, but she can't berate him for that.
it's on her that he's like this.
by the time she had parked the car in the space a the condominium, hyunjae was out cold. his fingers were twitching and his breath light, but still audible over the air conditioner.
seol eun swallows, looking at him and trying to find a wallet on him - which she does, in his pocket. but the thought of sliding her hand into another man's pocket makes her paranoid.
why is it making her feel guilty when she's not going to do anything?
she bites her lip, glancing at him and making sure he's not awake. so, she sticks two fingers into the opening and tries to reach for his wallet, but he lazily grabs her wrist and throws it away.
"juuust... leave me... here," he slurs his words.
"you're in my car in the parking lot," she sighs, shoulders slumping. "i'm not leaving you here overnight."
there's a heavy sigh, as his eyes seal shut, and his head kind of knocks into the window as he sinks. seol eun groans, pushing herself out of the car and walking around the passenger's seat.
with alot of effort and determination, she's able to slide him out, pulling his arm over her shoulder and try to get him on his feet (though he wasn't really putting any weight on those).
"my god," she winces under her breath as she locks the car. "why are you so heavy?"
as his head hung low, she drags him across the road to the entrance of the building, already cooking up a plan in her head to try wake him up later so he can go home.
she can't let him spend a night in her home... can she?
but juyeon will understand if he's in this state, won't he?
all i just have to explain is that i found him drunk and he hasn't been a complete asshole to me like ryu sang hyuk has, and juyeon will understand.
i couldn't possibly leave a-
"seol eun."
she abruptly halts, the weight of hyunjae on her arm making it even harder to turn around.
but it's worse, because she doesn't need to turn to recognise that voice. she manages to crane her head to turn backwards, just enough to meet juyeon coming out of his car that was just about to turn into the carpark.
"ju," she whispers, just loud enough for him to hear.
"is he... drunk?"
"yes."
"he went for the company dinner with you?" the confusion in his voice is heavy.
"no," seol eun frowns and shakes her head relentlessly. "i saw him on the way back home... he was already gone and i couldn't just leave him there, it's a busy street. what if he got robbed or pickpocketed?"
"and... you're taking him back to your place?"
seol eun gulps. she knows how it sounds.
"his keycard is in his wallet and i don't know which unit it is because they don't print the unit number on the keycard for security purposes..." she pauses, just to search his face for any sign of extreme discomfort.
which, she unfortunately sees, but hyunjae's weight is starting to push onto her frame, and she can't hold him much longer.
"ju, please help me get him in. i can't hold him for much longer and i've already gotten him so far, i'm not going to leave him out here."
juyeon blinks at her, eyes obviously darting between the drunk man and his girlfriend who he can't tell is doing this out of goodwill or hidden guilt.
maybe something else.
maybe she doesn't even know.
"give me a minute, i'll park the car."
he doesn't wait for a response before he rolls up the window and drives into the carpark, leaving seol eun alone with her terrible, curel paranoia and the thought of being in conflict with juyeon.
how much can he tolerate?
juyeon had easily pulled hyunjae's arm over his shoulder, his hanging head making it a bit difficult to manouvre his limp body.
but they make it anyway, and juyeon deliberately (and almost bitterly) dumps him on the sofa in her living room.
"thank you," seol eun tiptoes and kisses him on the cheek, then rushes into her bedroom to get a face towel. she washes it with warm water, then wrings it dry, before folding it nicely to set it on his forehead and dab his cheeks.
the sight, juyeon cannot tolerate.
"he's a grown man, he can take care of himself, i'm sure."
"yeah, i know, but he's just... passed out cold," seol eun pulls away from hyunjae, standing and turning to juyeon. "i'd do the same for mi jung."
"mi jung is a friend," juyeon rubs the back of his neck. "he isn't."
"ju, it's been like two weeks. i haven't seen him for two weeks, he is nothing you need to be worried about."
"it's not him i'm worried about, it's you."
seol eun halts.
"i'm worried that this soft spot of yours for him... him in particular, is going to put me at a disadvantage in this relationship."
"what disadvantage? i'm just taking care of him like a friend would do."
"taking care comprises of you taking a towel and dabbing it all over his face? drunk people just need sleep and water, not babysitting."
"i am not babysitting."
"then why are you treating him like you'd treat a child?" juyeon purses his lips after the last word exits his mouth. he knows he sounds like an asshole right now, but she can't retaliate.
he raises his hand and covers the bottom half of his face, eyes pulling away to look at the floor. then he pulls his hand away and rests both palms on his hips, already turning around for the door.
"you must trust him, so you can just leave him here for the night. come stay at my place tonight."
the door clicks when he pulls on the handle and steps out. it's only when he turns around to wear his second shoe that he realises seol eun is reluctant.
there's that frown on her face when her heart is breaking, and she wants to help and wants to do what she is being told to do but something else inside her is telling her otherwise.
juyeon tries again anyway.
"come on, you can come check on him tomorrow morning."
a pause as he leans down to tie his shoelaces, but he notices the lack of movement in the apartment. so, he looks up through his lashes, unfortuantely unsurprised that she hadn't moved an inch.
"ju, i'm sorry. i just... cannot leave him like this, here."
"why not?" his feline eyes are halved, but with an interrogative look.
"i just... can't."
juyeon sucks in a deep breath, smacking his lips as he runs a hand through his hair.
"we'll talk about this tomorrow, but for tonight... please do me a favour?"
Nevertheless: Pride & Dignity [Thank you and Ending Teasers]
Thank you to all the P&D readers I've had thus far. I started writing it with the intention of making it a smut fic (and keeping it relatively close to the actual kdrama), unfortunately, as time passed, I realised writing something like that Kdrama was just not my style of creation (or writing) so I wrote it the way I wanted to and I got much more thought than I expected it to. Everytime I posted a new update, I get asks, sometimes insanely long ones that make me feel satisfied that it was able to evoke such strong emotions.
I'm currently writing [18] and everytime I hit the last 2 or 3 chapters, I get so emotional bec I've grown so fucking attached to it, but all things good has to come to an end, and so in this post I'll be teasing the final chapter's endings.
that's right, 3 endings.
1. The Fan Favourite
- where seol eun eventually realises juyeon was just a safe space, but someone else offers her the protection she really needed.
2. The Author's Dream
- where seol eun chooses her safe space, and decides that risk isn't the best decision for her.
3. What she really needs (what I intended to have the ACTUAL ending)
- she realises she needs time, and pursues what she genuinely loves for herself instead.
synopsis: hwang seol eun finds herself stuck between a toxic relationship with lee hyunjae and a heart-fluttering dynamic with lee juyeon
pairing: jujae x [fem] reader, 3rd person pov [read as hwang seol eun]
genre [per chapter]: angst, fluff
word count: 3k
taglist: @hyunjaethereal @yyyerum @purrple-winkle @17scheol @ten-gift @louvyves @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @flwrtbz @gyujaehyun @i2gyus @sunwoowuvbot @softforqiankun @givememunjang @peachyho @vousty @bubutaeyongie @sofie296 @deputyjuyeon @changminurheart @from-xero @grassbutneo @sknyuz @pockyandme @itstbz @bluecrane01 [pls use this link to submit your URLs for tagging!]
the rest of the week went quiet. and by 'quiet', seol eun means quiet.
ryu sang hyuk had been called back to his office for reasons she would probably never find out. the only thing remains entertaining or vaguely interesting was mi jung’s reunification with jacob.
of course, she doesn’t admit it.
then there’s juyeon, fumbling around like a clumsy baby learning how to walk. he’s showing up at seol eun's workplace with all the things she needed and usually at the time she needed it. he’s the boss of his own company so he doesn’t exactly need to follow the rules he sets. nonetheless, it’s more than endearing to have him surprise you at the office every 2 or 3 days or so with coffee or tea and snacks, sometimes for the entire office at that.
juyeon might just have a problem with people not liking him. maybe that’s how he won her over.
then, there's lee hyunjae. the one that keeps her up way past the time she starts to hear juyeon snoozing behind her, with his arms wrapped around her waist.
she's going to be damned to hell for being in bed with one man, but thinking about another.
but how could she not, when there's some sort of ironic guilt in her for ruining hyunjae's chance at redeeming himself?
maybe she should've just let him finish with her. maybe she should've given him that one shot of mending his mistake.
"are you awake?" juyeon's groggy voice trails from behind her. he inhales a long breath, arms wrapping tighter around her waist and under her neck as he digs his nose into her hair.
"how did you know?" with a gentle smile, seol eun shuffles around, smiling at juyeon's face. his eyes are closed, but he's reaching down to pull the blanket up over her shoulder.
"can hear your brain screeching with all those gears," he whispers into her forehead. "what are you thinking about?"
seol eun gently shakes her head, her eyes drifting from his cheeks to his nose to his lips and then she zones out. "nothing."
"liar," he presses a kiss into her forehead. "is it mi jung and jacob?"
"no."
"hyungwon?"
"no."
"hm... work?"
"no."
"ryu?"
"no. though he is pretty quiet."
"maybe some family stuff cropped up and from the looks of it, his sister's pretty hard to escape."
"yeah."
"hm..." juyeon hums to himself. it trails off, sounding like he fell back asleep. but seol eun knows he can guess it.
"i'm sorry," she mumbles into his neck, snuggling closer and inhaling his scent. "i couldn't... not."
"it's okay. i know it must've been hard for him and it must've been hard for you to hear it too. i'm sorry i wasn't there."
"no, no, oh, god," seol eun winces to herself and lifts her hand to stroke the skin on his neck. "it's not your fault. none of this is your fault. i went behind your back and met up with him to return the flask and then he told me that only because i asked."
"mhm, and nothing else came of it, right?" juyeon sniffles.
"mhm," seol eun rests her head on his shoulder, his hair now combing through her hair.
"then that's fine. i trust you, so do what you need to do and have the time to yourself. i'll always be here for you if you need me."
seol eun purses her lips, nodding to herself and sighing.
"goodnight, ju," she whispers, closing her eyes.
"goodnight."
the next morning feels like a resolution for seol eun. it was the opening day of ryu sang hyuk’s exhibition for for some strange reason, he wasn’t around for the grand opening. seeing his photographs printed on the canvases and hung up throughout the exhibition hall felt like a major throwback. the aesthetics of his pictures hadn’t changed, and for a moment, she was worried she was going to be seeing herself. but none of the photos included her, or even had a slither of an idea that she was involved.
they were all taken in their own grandeur in his favour, and she was more than relieved to have been able to help spread the beauty of the photographs, even if it meant the person behind the camera was a psychotic ex-boyfriend.
mi jung was busy handing out the special invitation tags to other exhibition organizers and some VIPs outside the hall while seol eun remained quiet inside. she roamed through the isles and lanes, glancing over the descriptions of the photos because she had already read them during prep.
every now and then, she forgets why she fell in love with ryu sang hyuk, especially with his current demeanour, there isn’t much to love. but back then, he was so marvelled in what he loved. maybe he just lost sight of what was more important, and she paid the price.
then again, perhaps this was all just for show. she’s only calm now because he’s not here, triggering her anxiety and extreme thoughts. but either way, she was grateful he wasn’t here.
“ayo! are you ready in there? you need to help me unlock the barriers!”
seol eun whips around upon mi jung’s loud voice, smiling as she slow jogs to the entrance.
"ah, the man himself had family issues to tend to. i'm afraid he can't join us today," mi jung is heard telling some VIPs. "but he sends his regards and you're welcome to leave any well wishes or pen down any thoughts you have. there's a little note pad in the last room, feel free to scribble anything there. it'll be handed to him."
mi jung offers her service smile, bright and pretty as she turns. seol eun bites on her bottom lip, wanting to tease her.
she hadn't seen mi jung so happy in quite a long time.
"what? are you gonna just stand there and ogle at me or are you gonna be helpful and open the barrier?" mi jung mumbles under her breath, one hand still holding out the brochures for the VIPs to take.
"oh, nothing," seol eun grins, pulling the retractable barriers and opening the glass door from the inside. "just wondering what kind of magic hand jacob has."
"shut up," mi jung squints and turns around. "the exhibition is officially open!"
every time seol eun opens an exhibition, she feels a sense of accomplishment. she's helped another artist broaden their audience. but this time it feels different. albeit she's done the exact same procedure over and over again and this time was no different, everything felt like it had been done on the side.
there were so many things occupying her life from the start of this exhibition, she didn't have the time to really sit down and revel in her love for the job.
she missed it.
it's watching them stop at every exhibit, every artpiece, to read the label that makes her heart warm. artists don't create for the sake of creating - they create because they want to make a change, they want to incite a reaction, they want to connect.
it might seem so surficial at times, especially when it comes to products that include nudity or abstract concepts but really, why would anybody spend time on something they know wouldn't create a change, even if it were the smallest?
the day had zipped past without seol eun realising it, apart from jacob sending lunch to them at the exhibition hall and mi jung (very) obviously trying her best not to launch herself into his arms.
does she realise that jacob is only so available because he doesn't live in korea anymore? is she just savouring whatever that is left of him being here?
juyeon.
that's seol eun's 'jacob'. or at least, that's what she hopes he is.
but he finally shows up, with a small bouquet of flowers as a gift to the exhibition and everyone that's helped with it. seol eun had thought juyeon would be petty and not do that, but he proved her wrong and it did nothing but sweeten the way she looked at him.
there weren't many visitors left and mi jung had jacob helping her clear up the exhibition hall, knowing that seol eun and juyeon had plans to have dinner with hyungwon.
in the car, seol eun can't hide the nervousness she was feeling. bringing juyeon to meet hyungwon was as good as letting a child compare two adults. it's worse when hyungwon is a bright one. she couldn't escape the thought of hyungwon thinking about a certain someone else, or him comparing juyeon to that someone else.
one was his teacher and the other is a stranger.
"hey."
seol eun whips her head to look at juyeon, not noticing she was spacing out so much that the car had stopped at a red light a good distance from the exhibition hall.
"i'll try my best with hyungwon, okay? and if he doesn't like me, you can always go out with him on your own."
"no, i'll think he'll be fine. i just... y'know he's just more accustomed to hyunjae. i don't want him to compare you to him."
"he's still young, and that's normal. you said he's a smart kid too, right? so even if he does, he's probably not gonna say it. and if he does, natural," juyeon shakes his head and keeps his eyes on the road, his hands on the steering wheel. "people naturally compare the ones who know and love, that's how we make decisions on whom we want to stick by, don't we?"
seol eun scratches her forehead, eyes drifting back to the traffic light as it turned green.
just like how hyunjae compared her to his ex-girlfriend. just like how she would naturally compare him to juyeon. just like how hyungwon would compare the sight of hyunjae with her and juyeon with her.
at sanghee's residence, hyungwon had absolutely no trouble ignoring juyeon. the latter bowed and greeted the couple, introducing himself and offering a handshake while handing them a fruit basket.
"oh, you didn't have to. it's so nice for seol eun to be taking him out already," sang hee grins widely, taking the fruit basket and mindlessly handing it to her husband.
"don't worry, it's my pleasure," juyeon smiles again, automatically turning to look at hyungwon. "hi there. i'm juyeon, in case you didn't know."
"hi, juyeon," and hyungwon pulls himself off seol eun, holding a hand out to juyeon and grinning from ear to ear. "it's nice to meet you."
all that worrying over juyeon and hyungwon was washed down the drain when seol eun realised how easily juyeon could speak to hyungwon. she thanks the fact that hyungwon is a smart boy, and that juyeon is able to forget that he was actually a little boy.
over dinner (not the same restaurant that she went with hyungwon and hyunjae), she can't help but watch as juyeon spent his time cutting up a huge chicken cutlet for him, only handing the fork back to him so he could shove the pieces into his mouth.
seol eun wondered for a moment if hyungwon was just being polite, and if he was just being nice to juyeon because seol eun is one of his favourite adults.
but she doesn't really have the time to worry about it, not when he's leaving soon. she's just grateful hyungwon is easy to take care of.
that butterfly feeling whelms seol eun eventually, when she sees how comfortable hyungwon was able to get with juyeon. he was unconsciously bumping himself into juyeon's legs, his hands automatically reaching up to juyeon's hand when he walks past someone else along the pavement.
juyeon eventually gives in and offers to hold his hand, blatantly asking the child who giggles and takes it.
she wonders if hyungwon was simply pretending juyeon was hyunjae.
am i?
"okay, finish that before we go into the lift," seol eun looks into the backseat and gestures to the ice cream in his hand. "don't think your mom would like that we got you that so late."
"it's okay," hyungwon shakes his head, an outline of the white ice cream coated on his lips. "daddy lets me eat candy sometimes when mummy isn't looking."
juyeon pulls the car into parking, a faint smile on his lips as he turns around. "your dad sounds like a fun guy."
"he is," hyungwon nods, shoving the end of the cone into his mouth. "well, so is mr. lee. he lets me do stuff in class like eat sweets or read a book if i've finished my homework."
seol eun side-eyes juyeon, but his smile doesn't falter.
"that's nice. i mean, if you've finished your work and you know what's going on, i think that's fine," he nods. "anyway, seol eun told me you're going overseas to study. are you excited?"
"mhm, daddy says he can take me sledding and skating during winter! and the lakes will be frozen and we can throw snowballs!"
"that does sound like a whole lot fun."
"but i will miss seol eun, and mr. lee, and you!"
"i'm honored," juyeon chuckles.
"can you come visit? i don't know if mummy will come back soon after we move..."
seol eun and juyeone exchange quiet glances. juyeon knows she's heartbroken, but there's nothing she can do about it.
"we can try. i promise we'll try, okay?" seol eun gives a weak smile, reaching out and ruffling his hair. "now, let's get you home."
after cleaning hyungwon's lips and letting him drink some water to get rid of the sweet scent from his mouth, he had the courage to ask juyeon for a ride on his shoulders - to which he gladly obliged.
by the time he's returned to sang hee's door step, hyungwon seemed alot happier than he was when they first picked him up.
juyeon was not an exception.
"come on, let's get you washed up. mummy has some stuff to say to seol eun, alright? now say bye bye."
"bye, seol eun. bye, juyeon," his little waves cause seol eun's heart to crack, and she waves back.
"bye bye. i'll see you soon, i promise."
"okay. bye bye!"
"bye!" juyeon tiptoes and waves over sang hee's head as her husband takes the boy away.
"i actually have some things to say to seol eun in private so if he's not-"
"oh, no," seol eun grabs juyeon's hand and squeezes it. "he knows. it's okay."
"i... didn't know how else to tell you this," sang hee leans on the door, keeping it open. "but i'd like you to know that sang hyuk is coming to us with switzerland. i've been making him handle the administrative matters that he can't say 'no' to because he knows i will go to the police about what happened with you. i'm assuming he didn't show up to his exhibition opening today?"
seol eun parts her lips. she doesn't know why she hadn't pieced the information together.
"for real?"
"mhm," sang hee nods, pursing her lips. "look, i'm... sorry that he did whatever he did to you, and i'm so happy that you could move on, but i don't think i'd be able to see you and not think about all the things he did. this is my way of fixing things, and since we're also trying to expand our business... we thought it'd be a good idea for our entire family to go."
seol eun's eyes are tearing. she doesn't know her grip on juyeon's hand is tightening. sang hee's eyes are glimmering too, and she has the slightest smile on her lips.
sang hee blames her brother's misdoings on herself.
"you're moving... partially because of... me?"
sang hee purses her lips and steps out of the apartment, leaving the door to swing shut behind her. she holds seol eun's arms, thumb rubbing her shoulders as juyeon lets her go.
"i would've... done anything for you to be part of this family. i would. i love you so much and i know hyungwon loves you the same... i just can't pretend my brother didn't do what he did, and i'd never be able to forget it the way you moved on. i admire you for that, you know?"
"oh, stop it, you're making me cry," seol eun sniffles and looks down at the floor, her face cringing as her nose sours. sang hee chuckles, sucking a deep breath through her lips and nodding, reaching up to push seol eun's hair out of her face.
"i'm sorry he made you cry. you don't deserve it."
seol eun tilts her head, trying her best not to break out into ugly sobs. with a small sigh through parted lips, sang hee releases her and takes juyeon's hand, placing his and seol eun's hands together.
"i'm so happy you found someone who'd treat you so well. i wish the both of you all the love in the world."
juyeon bites on his bottom lip, nodding as he wraps an arm around seol eun.
"alright," sang hee nods, frowning as she reaches up to wipe her tears away. "off you go now, i know you still have work tomorrow."
seol eun inhales sharply, nodding as she pulls away from juyeon, allowing him to press a kiss into her forehead.
"please tell me when your flight is," seol eun whispers. "i don't care if sang hyuk is there, but you were my family at some point of time and i'd like to be there to see you off."
sang hee hesitates for a second, then nods. "okay. i'll text you."
both of them smile sadly at each other, then hug for a long while.
"thank you for letting me be a part of your family."
synopsis: hwang seol eun finds herself stuck between a toxic relationship with lee hyunjae and a heart-fluttering dynamic with lee juyeon
pairing: jujae x [fem] reader, 3rd person pov [read as hwang seol eun]
genre [per chapter]: angst, fluff, *TW Suicide
word count: 3.3k
taglist: @hyunjaethereal @yyyerum @purrple-winkle @17scheol @ten-gift @louvyves @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @flwrtbz @gyujaehyun @i2gyus @sunwoowuvbot @softforqiankun @givememunjang @peachyho @vousty @bubutaeyongie @sofie296@deputyjuyeon @changminurheart @from-xero @grassbutneo @sknyuz @pockyandme @itstbz @bluecrane01 [pls use this link to submit your URLs for tagging!]
seol eun picks at her fingertips as she waits in the sunbed, and out in the corner of her eye, she watches the flask in her bag as if it were a puppy waiting to hop out and run away. but instead, she's jolted back into real-time when someone steps up behind the sunbed and his shadow remains still over her and the sand by her bag.
she turns, looking up and watches hyunjae walk around the sunbed with a glass of mojito in his hand.
"should i be worried you're here alone?"
his voice is quiet and mellow as he sets it down into the table next to the sunbed. seol eun clears her throat, snapping her neck away from him and reminding herself that she had other commitments that didn't allow her to be distracted.
"this," she leans over into her bag and pulls out the flask. "this is yours."
"keep it."
"no," seol eun sighs and shakes her head. her eyes glaze over the metal of the flask, her thumbs rubbing gentle circles on the silicon surface. "i can't. i don't want juyeon having the wrong idea."
with a reluctant nod, hyunjae takes the flask, lifting the handle so it would dangle off his finger.
"i'll... go after i finish my drink," she looks at the drink and stares for a moment, not wanting to look up and at him. she knows he's looking at her - and she's not sure if she can refuse to reciprocate the kind of gaze she's expecting to see.
but she does it anyway, and she can see the eyebags above his cheekbones. for a moment, she wonders if it was because of her.
no, he's not that foolish.
she turns back to her drink as she sits, picking up the glass and taking a sip. the alcohol washes the uneasiness for a moment but hyunjae isn't leaving. awkwardly standing there and reacting to everything else on the beach except her.
"stay," he quietly says without looking at her. she shuts her eyes, the alcohol heating up her chest now.
"i should go," and she starts gulping the drink like she was devastated.
"stop," he grabs the glass and yanks it away from her, spilling some in the midst of it. now, he's glaring down at her with the beach lamp behind and above him and darkening his entire silhouette. "don't get yourself drunk. i don't need you drunk or tipsy when i send you home later."
"i drove here."
"so drive your own car and i'll walk home after i've sent you home."
seol eun grits her teeth, reaching out for the glass but he holds it out further away.
"stay. i'll send you home after but i need you to be sober enough to walk back up to your apartment on your own. i don't want juyeon getting the wrong idea."
the sudden name-drop shocks her from the inside. her brows deepen into a frown as he registers her lack of resistance. he purses his lips and returns her the glass of mojito, then turns and walks away with the flask.
the bartender hears one of his colleagues stride up to the counter, a dark sulk on his face and a flask in his hands, so he takes the initiative to say, "that was a quick turnaround. who was that?"
hyunjae places the flask on the counter, pushing it to the side. "just someone i know."
"your face is telling me it's not just 'someone you know' though," kevin scoffs and turns to his whiskeys. "ex-girlfriend?"
"i wish she were," hyunjae sucks in a deep breath, then sighs, turning around to rest against the counter as his eyes scan the beach. they inevitably rest on her at the end of his lookout, and he tries to shift his attention, but fails. "but i lost my chance and now she's just here to say goodbye."
thunk. the sound of a glass decanter hits the counter behind him. he turns around, watching the bartender rest his hands on his hips.
"she got a boyfriend?"
hyunjae smiles a sad one. "yeah."
"well then, wouldn't hurt to ease the pain a little, hm?"
"advocating drinking on the job?" hyunjae smirks and takes the shot of soju.
"a shot wouldn't hurt you."
"mm," hyunjae hums in response.
"what made you stop?"
"stop what?"
"her."
hyunjae eyes his colleague by the corner of his eye, then looks back at her.
"she has a chance to live her life the way she wants to live it now. besides," he recalls the letter of withdrawal hyungwon submitted earlier that day. "her problem's about to disappear. i don't think she needs me any more. or that she ever did."
a pause.
"i heard like nothing of what you just said but alright. don't mope about it too much, i'm sure you can find another her."
"hm," hyunjae hums again, squinting in the distance. "i'm sure."
the sound of the water washing onto shore tunes her out. her eyes automatically flutter shut upon the temporary escape from the reason why she was here.
inhale.
exhale.
she opens her eyes.
about an hour or two later, when the beach had nearly cleared out, it was an awkward walk from the beach bar to the carpark with hyunjae. he was carrying the flask by hand with his other belongings in a backpack which she assumed contained the clothes he wore to school earlier in the day.
she wants to ask him about hyungwon, but that would've been inappropriate, so she doesn't.
he keeps to his word and automatically slides himself into the passenger's seat, not waiting for her to get into the driver's seat first. seol eun quietly starts up the engine, taking her time to adjust the air conditioning and turning the radio up just so the awkward silence wouldn't deaf her.
but by instinct, she finds the need to remind him.
"i could just send you back to your building first, you're like right next door."
"exactly. i'm right next door so don't worry about me walking home," hyunjae looks out the window on his side. "just drive, will you?"
"let me drive you home-"
"i said just drive," he turns to her, eyes baring into hers. "and if you stop outside my building, i'm not getting out. so you can choose to park your car at yours and save a little more fuel or spend it on trying to kick me out."
"why are you being so stubborn? god, it's like you can never have it your way even when there's nothing to be fighting for."
"and you're right about that. there is nothing to fight for any more so let me just have this, would you?"
seol eun snaps her head back to look forward. her fingers are on the steering wheel and her foot is already on the gas pedal so all she needs to do is pull the car into drive.
"just drive," hyunjae quietly says again, turning to look out the window on his side.
so she does according to what he says, and the entire ride goes on without either of them saying a word.
seol eun keeps her eyes on the road, her palm beginning to sweat into the leather. she's not even blinking much when hyunjae turns to glance at her.
he can see her knuckles whiten from the grip around the steering wheel, patches of vapour collecting between her fingers on the leather.
"breathe," he quietly says, turning to look at the world beyond the windows outside. "i'm not him. breathe."
"i'm fine," she whispers, loosening her grip only to tighten it. she inhales, and chews on her thoughts.
but she blurts it out anyway.
"why do you know what to do?"
hyunjae turns away from the window and looks at her, his arm now resting on the curve where the window comes up with his hand under his jaw.
"do what?"
"that. tell me when to breathe. what to do."
hyunjae turns back to look out the window. the trees look like a blur of green as the car moves.
"don't think you'd like the answer to that."
seol eun scoffs, no longer surprised that she was beginning to regain composure. "try me."
she hears him laugh softly under his breath. she can't tell if it's from disbelief or reluctance, but he doesn't turn to look at her. with a quick glance, she turns to him and sees his reflection in the glass instead.
there was a slight frown on his face, and she gets upset when she can' read him. why can he read me but i can't do the same for him?
"i had a girlfriend a few years back. she had anxiety and all things alike - i honestly can't remember."
a pause.
"so what happened? why'd it end?"
another pause. seol eun turns to look at him once the car meets a red light. there's something keeping him from saying it.
"i didn't do a good job with that," his voice is heavy as he looks up into the amber street lamp. "i knew what to do and i could do it. but i didn't."
"what, you left her?"
"i failed to take care of her," he grits his teeth so hard, the back of his jaw tightens. "she jumped from the balcony of her room. i was in her bed."
the traffic light turns green.
they are lucky the streets are relatively empty.
seol eun turns to him, lips parted and quivering. "i'm sorry."
hyunjae tries to hide wiping his tears with a scratch of his jaw, but the gentle sniffle gives him away.
"it's been awhile so i'll live with it."
seol eun turns back to the road. the car moves.
the rest of the journey is spent in silence. seol eun is trying her best not to sob, for the pain he felt must be immeasurable.
to love someone and not be able to help them.
but seol eun is a dumb girl, no. is he treating me like his shot of redemption?
seol eun parks the car in the carpark of her own apartment building, and hyunjae walks her to the elevator where they stand in awkward silence.
the lift arrives, and seol eun wishes she could say something to him without letting him get the wrong idea. all of a sudden, she's seeing him in a clearer light - that maybe all this time he loves her because she was his chance of mending a mistake he thinks is his fault.
but she gives in anyway, turning around as the lift doors open.
"i'm sorry about her. i am," she nods, looking down at her feet for a moment. a thousand thoughts are speeding through her mind and she knows she can't make it through the rest of her speech without tearing up.
why am i so weak?
"but i think you're treating me like her, and that you're treating me like a chance to make up for something you think you could've helped... but i'm not. i know i'm... damaged and stupid sometimes but i'm not... her."
and in this moment, hyunjae has no argument. because he doesn't know if she's right.
the lift doors start to close, so seol eun turns and jabs the button so it doesn't leave.
"hyunjae... i loved you."
the belated confession surprises him, but it doesn't help the tearing situation he already has in his eyes.
"i promise you, i did. but it's alot more complicated now and i just... don't think this is it," seol eun sighs and turns, stepping into the lift. she can't maintain this conversation any longer unless she wants to start crying. "goodnight."
she doesn't wait for him to say it back, simply pressing the floor number and looking away as if it were gonna stop her from sobbing once she gets home.
hyunjae remains staring at his distorted reflection in the metal doors with the thermal flask in his hand, reminding himself that he needed to calm down and compose himself. suddenly, he remembers the security guard behind him, so he grimly turns around to bid him goodbye before leaving.
but once out of the building, he looks around the carpark, eyes scanning the area despite it being dark.
in some strange corner, there he was, hiding.
ryu sang hyuk was foolishly craning his head over the edge of the building, trying to watch which apartment's lights would turn on. he's abruptly interrupted in the form of someone slamming a palm down on his shoulder though, and he almost shouts until hyunjae shoves him backwards, using his hand to cover sang hyuk's mouth.
"do you have nothing else better to do? how did you even know she was going to the beach?"
hyunjae releases his face to hold his collar instead.
"i didn't. thermal flask gave it all away though, and i know that boyfriend of hers is busy. he's an artist you see, and his company's pretty busy in recent months after his exhibition."
"you don't know how much i want to use this thing to bludgeon you to death," hyunjae squints, lifting the thermal flask for show.
"aha!" sang hyuk cackles, slapping hyunjae's hand off his collar and straightening out his clothes. "but you won't. not when my nephew looks up to you and you obviously haven't gotten your heart broken enough by her."
"you don't seem like a mentally unsound psycho who just doesn't think, so why can't you just let her go? isn't it tiring to keep obsessing over the same girl for years?"
sang hyuk scoffs, rolling his eyes. "flattered. but no, she's my muse and everything i needed to be happy. she brought success to my career and being with her made me the happiest person alive."
"it doesn't work the reverse though," hyunjae shakes his head. "you can't treat her like a lucky charm."
"and you? why are you after her? she already has lee juyeon so why are you still here, sending her home and taking care of her like she's yours?"
hyunjae squints.
"i know you have no malicious intent. not when you chose to be all chummy with my nephew. so what is it? hm?" with a snarky smile, sang hyuk tilts his head towards hyunjae, wide eyes scanning his as if he could pry a secret out of him. "is she pregnant? does she have something of yours you want back? a mistake you want to undo?"
"i'm not obligated to answer that."
"then that makes you no different than me, you know that, don't you?" sang hyuk offers him a pathethic smile, almost through a pout. hyunjae wants to swing a rock in his face and break his nose, but the shattering thought of a possible similarity cracks him. "how do you know 2 years from now she's not gonna prance around telling everybody she had someone on her tail despite her being attached? how do you know she's not going to shut down when she sees you within a 200-metre radius from her? how do you know lee juyeon isn't gonna come and be her knight in shining armor if you show up again?"
the cool air rushes through hyunjae's hair.
the thought scares him.
sang hyuk nears him even more, keeping a mere few inches away from hyunjae's face, "i'm just the ghost of your future."
seol eun leans back against her door, resting her head against the wood as the automatic light of her balcony flickers off. she's so still, it doesn't turn back on.
using her feet to get her shoes off, the light flickers back on just in time for her phone to ring. she fumbles through the bag, processing the absence of the thermal flask before picking up her phone.
sang hee
"hey."
"seol eun! it's hyungwon!"
"hi," seol eun gasps, the child's voice striking multiple chords in her. it pushes her to a certain limit, and she covers her mouth, biting on her bottom lip as she walks into the living room. "is anything wrong? what's up?"
"i wanted to tell you something in person, but i think you're busy so i decided to call."
"oh, i'm so sorry. i know i'm supposed to take you out and introduce you to my boyfriend but you know i have your uncle's exhibition coming soon."
"i know. but i'm scared we don't have time for that."
"what do you mean?" seol eun sulks, placing her bag by the couch and filling up a glass of water. "are you okay? don't scare me like that."
"i'm withdrawing from school. the one that mr lee works in. daddy got me into a gifted programme in switzerland and they're making plans to move there because they recently bought a house there. they said it made everything easier. uncle is coming too, but they haven't told him because they know he would be upset."
seol eun's fingers are curved around the glass, but she can't lift it to her lips.
"what?"
"i wanted to tell you in person, that's why i asked if i could see you soon. but you hadn't called since, so i thought i'd just tell you today."
she pulls out a stool at the kitchen island, shutting her eyes and scratching the back of her head. "you've... you've already submitted the withdrawal form?"
"mhm. today. i gave it to mr lee."
"and- and how did he take it?"
"he cried. and then he hugged me, and said that if i ever needed his help i could call him and he said he would try to go to switzerland to visit if he could during the holidays."
seol eun can't help but break out into a sniffling chuckle. she hadn't noticed she already started crying until she looked down and saw the small droplets of tears on the marble surface.
"seol eun?"
"yeah, i'm here," she clears her throat. "look, i promise you i'll bring you out before you go, okay?"
"okay."
"alright," she rubs her thumb and index finger across her nose. "i have to go now, okay? i'll call you and take you out after your uncle's exhibition is over, i promise."
"okay."
"i'm so proud of you. you're such a smart boy. when you're older and richer and successful, you gotta remember me, okay?"
"okay."
"bye bye now, i'll see you soon."
"oh, seol eun! can i... can i ask for something? just one last thing before i move?"
"of course, anything."
"can we go out with mr lee? i know you wanted to introduce me to your boyfriend but... mr lee is my favourite teacher."
"well... why don't you ask him to bring you out? just the two of you?"
hyungwon goes quiet. seol eun quietly inhales, rubbing a finger into her temple. "i'll think about it, okay? but no promises."
"okay."
"alright, it's getting late. i'm sure your mom wants you to sleep soon, so... goodnight, hyungwon."
"goodnight."
the last thing seol eun hears is hyungwon's father calling for him before the line goes dead. she keeps the phone to her ear for a few moments as she processes the new information, the thought of hyungwon leaving and moving to the other side of the planet kills her on the inside.
she knows it's definitely sang hee's idea of removing sang hyuk from her life, combined with her husband's desire to expand his business overseas. it made it even easier that their son was a bright child who would be accepted into most gifted programmes.
she finally puts her phone away, taking a huge gulp from the glass of water. then, as if the universe didn't want her to have a moment to herself, her door's buzzer rings.
"seol eun! i have the grilled chicken and potato salad! i hope you're hungry!"
> cuddly, dating tropes and aesthetics with enhypen
genre: fluff
enhypen taglist: @from-xero @wooyoung-a @changminurheart @changmin-wrlds @nashionalpotatocorner [send in a dm/ask to be on the enhypen taglist! disc: taglist is not applicable to smuts]
> HEESEUNG
night walks along the highway when there are no cars, hand intertwined with his but shoved into the pocket of his hoodie. his hood is pulled over his head, so his fringe is pressed down into his eyes. it doesn't hide the glimmer in them when he looks down at you though.
> JAY
late night baking/cooking sessions for supper in the kitchen. you would've been whining about wanting to eat something but before you could get out of bed for a pack of cookies or chips, he sets up a pot of water to boil to cook instant noodles. flirty feeding back and forth, with him blowing out the noodles to make sure they aren't too hot for you.
> JAKE
cuddling in bed with his hands holding the phone above your faces, watching old sitcoms like friends or brooklyn99. would probably drop his phone on your face when something funny happens, and you'd hear his cracky laughter as he buries his head into your neck to apologise.
> SUNGHOON
self-care with your pretty boyfriend - watching him shut his eyes as you spread out the cream mask onto his cheeks with a hair band pushing his fringe up. would let you trim or shave his brows and apply some lipscrub for him, in which he would suddenly try to pull your head down by your neck to peck you and get some on your lips too.
> SUNOO
scrapbooking or making little bracelet charms for each other while playing your favourite music in the back. sitting next to him at the table with your legs crossed under, he's probably quiet for longer than you expected because of how focussed he is. would be so proud of the final product and straps it around your wrist for you.
> JUNGWON
shopping for succulents and then going to his place to play with maeumi. he'd let youp pick a succulent meant for him, but you can tell he doesn't really like it, so he gets what he actually likes instead and promises to take care of both of them. kind of forgets about it when he gets home to his dog though.
> NIKI
playing tag in a field where you suggested having picnic. would smudge a dab of peanut butter or cream on your nose or cheek and you'd try to run after him in a bid to get revenge, but he's tall and fast, so you give up and sulk back on the picnic mat. he would come around eventually and pout while apologising though.
genre: e2l; rugby player! eric x cheerleader cap! [fem] reader; smut; ft. enhypen jay
synopsis: after some years of a brooding, competitive bond you've developed with eric sohn over being athletes, you find him again on the same field in different aspects - but this time, you have to cheer for him instead of booing him like you were used to.
warnings: cursing, probably alcohol, smut, toxic dynamics (i mean it)
wc: 4.3k
a/n: thank you for 1.3k+ followers 💕
song playlist: here
the warmth and humidity from the shower rooms on either side of the common locker area was beginning to dampen the atmosphere. the hot steam from the showers fog up the room, hindering your sight in the space.
but you look to your right, and up against the wall was your teammate caged in by one of the rugby boys, blatantly making out, as though half the cheer squad and half the rugby team wasn't within sight.
"jesus christ, get a fucking room," slamming your palm onto the boy, you yank him off her. she yelps as the contact is abruptly torn away from her, and you grimace at how sticky his sweat had made your palm feel. "can you get off her? you have a game next week!"
"alright!" sunwoo raises his hands in surrender and stomps away from her, pulling his shirt off the nearest bench and throwing it over his shoulder. "mom much?"
"and you," pointing a straight finger at the girl, you narrow your eyes with disapproval. "do not get pregnant with any one of theirs."
"you say that only because you haven't made your choice," she sings sweetly with a pout, pushing herself off the wall and winking at sunwoo as she comes to link her arm with yours. "we'll find you your match, captain."
"shut up. i'd rather die than find a match here."
"ouch," sunwoo leans back with his arms behind his hips, flexing his torso and arms and you just know he was doing it for your pathetic friend to gawk at.
rolling your eyes, you shrug her off your arm and wave her off, so out of your peripheral vision, you watch her slide onto his lap and wrap her arms around his shoulders.
manoeuvring your way through the space, you make it to the last row of the lockers in search of the one person you really didn't want to talk to.
but you walk in on a half-naked eric sohn, mindlessly scrolling on his phone with just a towel wrapped around his hips and his wet hair stuck to his forehead. he's showered - you can smell the body wash - but old habits die hard and you immediately begin with a harsh, venomous spit.
"hi, you piece of shit, i'd like the key to the inventory room so i can undo the stupid mess your team's made. i'd look for sangyeon but i'm sure he's busy with other things."
eric turns to look at you with a palm outstretched, and his eyes dart up to yours quietly as he locks his phone. "what makes you think i have the key?"
"you're the inventory head," you turn your head when he stands up straight, now facing you, and the lewd sight before you makes you uncomfortable beyond any verbal expression. "who else would have the key?"
the windows from behind eric darkens his silhouette as he steps nearer and nearer to you, the distant sound of water in the showers and talking by the others a good distance away.
his shadow covers yours, and he blocks the light in your eyes by craning his head so he's staring straight into yours.
"key's in my locker. you can go get it if you like."
gritting your teeth, you turn your head to the opposite way and slide past him to his open locker, finding bottles of protein shakes and sweaty rugby equipment - but no key.
your lips part in immediate complaint, so you turn with a harsh frown, only to find eric holding the keys up before your nose and smiling childishly at you. "gotcha."
the annoyance is about to burst out of you when you swipe it from between his fingers, and you were just short of stabbing him in the eye with the key when he chuckles with that stupid smirk on his face.
"you know, the last person i'd expected to become the cheer captain was you."
"why?" you cross your arms and shake your head. "i highly doubt that's any of your business anyway, right?"
"no, i just- didn't take you for the type to cheer for me. it'd take me so much for me to imagine you holding pompoms with that high ponytail of yours and possibly yelling my name if i make that goal, but now it's... it's reality."
"shut the fuck up," you hiss and shove him backwards, holding your forearm against his collarbone as he raises his palms in fake surrender. "i will cheer for your team because it is also my team. but you will never catch me cheering for you. not this week, not next week, not ever. your name in my mouth?" you scoff and give him another harsh shove into the locker before stepping back, the sound of his weight against the locker echoing softly throughout the space. "in your dreams."
eric grins widely, looking down at the floor as you turn around and deliberately slam his locker door shut, this time, the slam ringing loudly.
"we'll see about that," he says with triumph. "i will make that goal!"
anyway, you're probably thinking - why do i hate eric sohn so much?
we've known each other since we were kids. lived on the same street. our parents invited each other's families to christmas dinners and new year's day celebrations for years.
not knowing that the two of us hated each other at school. both of us were on the track and field team. i was the fastest girl and eric was... well, average.
it ruined his pride.
i won, in case you were wondering. so he decided not to go back to running, and chose sports instead. he was in the baseball team and i stayed.
the story changed in university though. i got sick of running and joined the cheer team instead, and he seemed to miss it, so he joined the rugby team.
it fit his personality though, bunch of rowdy boys who didn't know better than sticking their dicks into girls from your team and other groups. ironically, eric hadn't curated such an image.
unlike sunwoo, who had his busy hand down a well of pussies before he met one of your teammates, eric was focused on his team. maybe he wanted to redeem himself, maybe he wanted to feel proud of himself for once.
but i couldn't care less. not really.
sometimes when i'm out on the field and he's running with the ball though, it kills me on the inside when it hits me that he's the one i'm cheering for.
yeah, i get it. 'isn't that the whole point of being part of the cheer team?' i know it is. i know it was my choice. but why did he have to choose the rugby team, the main sports team that our cheer squad jumps and stunts and yells for? why not the baseball team? why not the volleyball team?
maybe i could have a word with the principal about this.
the night of the game falls on your school like an impending doom - only because you've heard enough tales about how the new line-up for the rival's team was. good number of youngsters, fit and tall and also apparently very kind to everyone around them.
maybe the grass is simply greener on the other side, and you can't see past that. at least not with eric being on your side.
the teams grace the entrance path in their own stride, and while you cheered your school's team on according to your obligation, you couldn't help but notice the flawless features of what seemed to be your team's rivals.
they were right about them being tall and fit, but who left out the detail about them looking absolutely gorgeous?
99.
"y/n!"
your eyes immediately dart away from the entrance path and up behind you, watching your coach frantically flail her arms and nearly throw her clipboard at you.
"eyes on our boys!"
"'kay!" you lift an 'ok' sign and grumble under your breath, rolling your eyes as your teammates remain hooting and cheering by your side.
"you're looking at 99, huh?" your vice captain leans over and says, just loud enough for you to hear. "well, i would too, but he seems pretty occupied with you."
by instinct, you look up and witness him dart his attention back to the field, lined up and facing the team you were meant to be supporting. yet, out from the corner of your eye, you notice eric, the shortest member of your team, glare at you like you were his property. like you were his.
maybe now you were wondering if this is some ridiculous enemies to lovers thing that was going to happen between the two of you, but then the mere thought of him thinking he had the right to control who you looked at irked you more.
so all you did was to stare at 99 a little harder.
but before you could even catch his eye again, the game begins, and you're instinctively thrown into your routines. counting and yelling so your team knew what to do, making sure your teammates spotted for each other as they did their stunts.
not really paying attention to the game, but you were sure that 99 ran past and he could not take his eyes off you.
in your head, it could've been played out like a poetic, romantic beginning, wouldn't it? fleeting eyes and shy smiles under his helmet, maybe a quiet 'hello' or a timid touch on the hand.
you'd melt just by the very thought of that.
and yet that train of though is abruptly murdered by eric running straight up to you and slamming his palm down on your shoulder. your teammates are slightly taken aback, given that they know you hate each other, but eric leans into your ear, and even with his helmet on, you could smell the shitty body spray he used.
"ogle at 99 one more time and i make sure he gets off the field."
"what?" you shove him off yourself with your pompoms, frowning keenly at him. "that's playing dirty."
"and he's playing dirty by flirting with the cheer captain, no? i'm sure you wouldn't like it if one of your girls fucked one of them, would you?"
"sohn! what the hell are you doing there?!" the coach yells from some tens of metres away, throwing his hands up into the air and on the verge of hurling a whistle at him. "get your ass back here!"
eric grimaces, offering an embarrassed smile as he bows and lifts a hand in acknowledgement. when he turns back to you though, his smile disappears.
"i'll take 99 down if it means you stop being distracted."
"you'll get a yellow card."
"watch me," he steps back and adjusts his helmet.
and as the crowd dies down into the starting position, your team quietens as well.
eric is meant to be looking ahead, directly at the player in front of him, but you swear he was glaring straight at-
BEEP
the crowd erupts, a good amount of the audience standing up and clapping their inflatables against each other. random hoots and yells of the players' numbers swarm all around you. your teammates have been taught to continue cheering, though not in a routine, if they are playing on the field but for some reason, your heart is doing all the yelling instead.
luckily, 99's team seemed to be alot more agile (not to mention the fact that they had longer legs) and they make the score instead.
guest audiences erupt into loud hoots and claps and you can hear the coach yelling at your school's team.
99 turns to look at you, as if you were his girlfriend and he did nothing but conjure up all the butterflies in your stomach. out in the corner of your eye, you catch eric throwing a tiny tantrum by kicking into the grass, and you can't help the little scoff that escapes your nose.
throughout the entire game, the scores bounce back and forth. coaches and teammates were yelling at each other as if they were on opposing teams. the stench of body odour and sweat stark to stink up the atmosphere of the field.
the audience was getting restless.
the moon was high in the sky and had the area not been polluted with light, you would've been able to spot the stars.
but no, not when everyone was cheering on 99 as he dashed across the field with eric on his tail. you could hear the opposing team's benchies scream out a name.
jay.
and yours scream out eric to run faster. he might've been small, but he kept up the pace with 99 easily - the gap between them doesn't enlarge.
but suddenly, something clicks in eric. his feet speeds up in an instant and for a moment, it reminded you of the days he beat you on the track.
and that was in a once-in-a-blue-moon event.
if 99 made this goal, they'd win.
"jay! come on! don't let the fucking shorty get you!"
"come on, eric! run that ass! run it like your life depended on it!"
BEEP
and the crowd erupts into enormous cheering, some audience members and even your own teammates scream as they push past you onto the field. your vision and attention blacks out for a moment as eric rolls off 99 and throw his hands up into the air with triumph.
a sigh of relief heaves your chest unknowingly, and you can't help but break out into a smile when your teammates (the ones that aren't on the field making out with the rugby team, of course) throw their arms around you. their squeals automatically make you feel better, even if the winning goal was made by eric.
in the midst of all the celebration, however, you witness the stark contrast in your teammates' demeanour halfway through your group hug. before you could even say anything, one of them grabs your arm and turns you around.
99.
"hi."
you blink at his quiet greeting. his hair is wet from the sweat and it's stuck to his forehead, but he had such a gorgeous smile, you knew it was hard to resist.
someone rests a palm on your shoulder, only to shove you out of the stands and you stumble onto the grass, shooting a glare behind you at your teammate.
"i'm jay," he runs a hand through his hair and grins. he even holds out a hand, offering a handshake. but you're much too stunned to take it, so he clears his throat instead and keeps it under his helmet as he hugs it to his side. "i feel like i shouldn't be asking you this but do you have a boyfriend? i... the entire game- you were so hard to ignore."
he gulps, and you can see his adam's apple shift.
"you make it sound like that's my fault," you blurt.
"oh, my god," someone groans behind you.
"no! no, i didn't mean it that way. it's just... since you're not snogging someone out there, i just assumed you weren't... you know... taken. i just wanted to ask you if you were interested to go out on a date with me sometime."
"i-"
"she is!"
cockblock.
your eyes drift behind jay as he turns around, and to your dismay, eric's strutting up to the two of you with his helment shoved into sunwoo's arm as if he wasn't busy snogging with one of your girls.
"she's mine," eric smiles as he reaches over, resting an arm over your shoulder. with a deep frown in your forehead, you try to shrug him off, even attempting to shove him off you, but to no avail.
he keeps his palm tight on your shoulder, keeping you from shifting.
"ah," jay smiles with disappointment, and your heart drops at the thought of being taken away by this douche instead.
but jay is a professional and plays with sportsmanship, so he offers eric a hand instead. "great play, bud. sick catch up on the end."
"you bet it was," eric gleefully takes his hand and almost throws him away after 2 firm shakes. "anyway, a word?"
he turns to look at you, fringe stuck to his temples and brows.
"what?"
"a word. now."
you turn sharply to jay.
"i don't know who he is."
"she's joking. you know how girlfriends are," eric snickers as he pulls you away and in the direction of the field's exit.
"jay, i don't know who he is!" you turn and shout, but he could probably make out just about 1 word from your line with all the cheering at the back. it's disappointment all over when one of your girls seem to tell jay that you obviously do know eric, and by the time jay's lost interest, eric already had you at the exit near the shower room.
"what the fuck are you doing?" nearly screeching into his face, eric refuses to release your wrist. "eric! let go!"
with a sharp yank, you tear yourself away from him, and eric does not look happy when you do.
"what the fuck's wrong with you? you've won quarterfinals, so congratulations. why can't i win something?"
"what else is there for you to win? you've won every single time back when we raced."
"excuse me?!" you squint at him, disbelief drowning out your thoughts or any slither of logic in your nervous system. "you're doing this because you're pissed about something that happened 10 years ago?! my god!"
"you don't get it, do you?"
"what, are you gonna confess? because if you are, do me a favour and fuck off!"
with a restrained scream, you turn with your fists balled, your right foot stomping into the grass and headed back into the field.
eric though, had other plans.
his fingers wrap around your wrist first, warmth bursting up your warm in the midst of all that cold sweat from the temperature. then, he pulls you back into a harsh, and abrupt kiss as if he had planned it.
you resists first, fists balled against his chest and your eyes wide open. and yet, your body involuntarily relaxes when his palms drop to your waist where your bare skin was exposed, hot fingers tracing the lines where your cheerleading suit met your ribs and lower back.
instinct kills your pride and identity first - so you close your eyes.
then the feminine urge to reach up around his shoulders and neck and arch backwards overwhelms your thought process - and suddenly, eric isn't eric anymore.
he's just the hot jock on the school team.
his hold on your waist tightens as he starts to grip the flesh in your sides, your fingers digging up into his sweaty hair on the tips of your fingers. he smells like body spray and deodorant but it's the heat in the moment that ruins all your senses.
your hands grip into his uniform, pushing him backwards and into the shower room where the leftover plethora of body spray and deodorant was still hanging in the humid air.
he was already sweaty and your skin was sticky too, so it really didn't matter when the realisation of your writhing, hot bodies moved against each other against the tiles on the walls.
everybody was outside celebrating anyway, so who was going to hear eric's low grunts into your shoulder blades as he rails himself into you.
the thoughts swarm your head before it even happens.
you're not proud of it, but this is just a sip of a drug that you promise yourself you'll never have again.
eric lifts you onto the dressing table, hands already riding up your skirt and obviously completely forgetting that it had an attached pair of safety shorts. so your hands drag his hands up to your chest, resting his palms on your curves while you struggle to remove your shorts (or skirt).
his breath is heavy on your lips, and you're starting to smell the body odor off him under the uniform you're trying to strip off him. breaking the kiss only to remove your bodycon top, his fingers curl around the rim of your shorts and yank them from under your rear.
something tears, and your first instinct is to glare at him first.
but he grabs your face and messily slots his lips between yours, groaning into your tongue as if he wasn't the one shoving you backwards into the wall.
your arms calm on his shoulders where he finally removes his uniform, his palms haphazardly travelling down his own torso to pull his shirt off and undo his sports belt.
it's a shameful instinct when you part your legs, letting him press himself into you where your nerves explode all through your body upon the pressure.
your fingers begin to crawl up into his hair behind his head, gently tugging onto his sweaty locks as he dives into your neck with a hand beginning to play with you.
"fuck," you hiss into his ear, brows and jaw tilting upwards as he nips into your skin. your palms find his chest, hot and sweaty and your fingers dragging all over the curves of his skin. the bone where his shoulders are, his collarbones below his neck that was beginning to sweat, and the set of abs he had below his pecs.
but before you could go any lower, he grips your wrist and pulls back, the abrupt lack of physical contact tears you out of your lustful dream.
yet, he doesn't give you enough time to respond before he's pulled you off the table and runs his lips into yours again. blindly stumbling backwards, your knees hit the edge of the bench and he topples onto you, awkwardly trying to find a position where he wouldn't completely load his weight onto you. but he hoists you up with an arm and flips you off the bench instead, using a finger to push away your lingerie where your jaw slacks upon his finger plunging into you.
your fingers dig into the gaps between the wooden planks in the bench, and your head hangs low enough to watch him get on his knees.
for a moment, your eyes widen, surprised. but they flutter shut almost immediately when you feel the friction from his tongue on you, pushing the air out of your lungs as you jerk forward.
his arms hook your hips backwards into his face though, and your teeth sink into your tongue in a bid to silence yourself.
but you had expected eric to be experienced, and he probably knows girls love it when things come unexpected.
because his tongue disappears, and is soon replaced with himself prodding at you.
"if only you could see the way you look right now," he bends over and whispers into your ear, pressing a kiss into your shoulder as he slowly sinks in. his lowly groan runs chills down your spine, and your fingers curl around the edge of the bench for the umpteenth time.
your mind goes into static haywire as you feel your weight start to be pushed and pulled back with his fingers digging into your hips, eyes blurred and hearing muffled from the overwhelming sensation from within.
"that's it," he whispers into your shoulder blade, letting you whine and mewl under your breath. "what a good girl."
"shut- the fuck up- would you?" the thrusts cut you off between your words, and you've barely strung it together, honestly.
"when you're bent over for me like this?" he scoffs, panting through his sentence too. "don't think so."
and as he finishes his line, he goes harder, pushing you past the edge of the bench and pressing your chest into the wood instead. gentle yelps escape your mouth first before you choose to bite your own finger, and eric's in too much of his own daze and pleasure to do anything except slide his hand down your hip to rub you in circles.
your eyes are tightly shut when the friction pushes you into an alien zone of bliss, and your grip on the legs of the bench tighten. your legs turn uncomfortable, holding your weight up, so eric makes sure to hug your hips with one of his arms while still working his hands.
"good girl, are you gonna come for me?"
"fuck, i-"
"i know," his husky voice groans into your spine. your lips part and your eyes seal shut once more when he goes slower but harder.
he knows he's found it.
your fingers curl into the wood. your head is thrown forwards and the structure of your ponytail is long gone. your legs begin to give out under you as the shudders spread through your body, and eric releases you only because he knew he couldn't afford getting you pregnant, so he pulls you back up and turns you around.
shameful instinct.
you drop to your knees and let him slide himself into your mouth, abdomen still shuddering from the finish as he jerks himself off.
his load hits the back of your throat, and he groans so loud, it almost sounds like someone had taken a shit.
the embarrassment fills you like his load dripping down your throat, and he pulls himself out with half-hooded lids. you swallow whatever's left of your pride on your tongue, but eric finds the need to thumb a dab of his own cum in the corner of your mouth back between your lips.
"good girl," he whispers, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "told you i'd get you to say my name."
this is so overdue and i was contemplating if i should even write this because this year has been absolutely draining for me. the past sem is the first sem i didn't stay on campus and so for 3 days in a row i'd spend 1.5 hours going to and fro from school and not to mention my anxiety peaking ahaaaa but i met so many people on tumblr this year and ESPECIALLY this summer, i'm not too sure why, but the thought of having so many people interact with me so voluntarily and so willingly has kept me going nonetheless.
as a writer, one of my biggest irks about being on tumblr is that your frequency of posting/ the genre you write about/ the TIMEZONE you're in affects your notes so much. i know writing isnt about the notes but it's about having fun, but it is also because i'm a writer that the numbers from the notes and the following becomes a big deal to me. throughout the months of may-july i posted almost every 3-4 days and i gained easily 300+ followers in that short span but once i stopped posting as frequently when school reopened in august, i haven't grown past +200 followers then.
it didn't help that i was in a timezone where i think not many people would be active when i would be. my smuts would go well above 200 or 300 after a few days but the non smuts stay below 100 for a long time and that's so frustrating. i've contemplated quitting tumblr because i write for school now, so i already have an alternative outlet. but the thought of leaving my friends i've made behind on this platform kind of saddens me. so with that, i'll try my best to list every reader/moot/anon i know keeps up with me, and i just want to thank you with everything that i have for sticking w me throughout this year.
@sunwoowuvbot @bluecrane01 @jaehyvnsvalentine @miingxuxi @suneobi @louvyves @winterbeartaehyungbestboy and the rest of my anons. 🍵 (who watches me from afar), 🌟 (who is a better half of me), 💦 (who torments me), ☃️ (who shows up to cry about p&d every now and then) and alot of the other anons who might be regulars but don't use an emoji.
thank you for 2021 and i wish you all the best in health!
danaaa omg im so glad that you tagged me 🥺 i ALWAYS look forward to your fics and i can’t wait (i actually can, just take your time with writing okay!!!) to read your future works! i remember saying that i was gonna get into enha maybe after this school year so i’ll probably camp out in your enhypen masterlist soon 😆
you’re legit one of my favorite authors here and the reason on why i still come to tumblr despite being busy with school ><
i hope 2022 will be a better year for you, ilysm <333
yk im glad as fucc that mi jung spoke her mind about the whole hyunjae and juyeon situation like she’s supportive and all about seol eun’s love life but girlie really needs to pick between ju or jae 😭 im still on team juyeon btw cuz one sided love HURTS but hyunjae has to back off knowing that seol eun already has a boyfriend, bro code and all that ://
i'm glad you're glad and i'm glad you're on team ju <3
p&d juyeon is too precious and nice and soft for the world i don’t think i can handle him being in any form of pain (especially if its from seol eun 😭)
ri i gotta tell you i still haven't really made up my mind on seol eun's endgame, but based off the readers' reactions ive gotten so far... it's not working in juyeon's favour 😭
p&d juyeon is too precious and nice and soft for the world i don’t think i can handle him being in any form of pain (especially if its from seol eun 😭)
ri i gotta tell you i still haven't really made up my mind on seol eun's endgame, but based off the readers' reactions ive gotten so far... it's not working in juyeon's favour 😭
synopsis: hwang seol eun finds herself stuck between a toxic relationship with lee hyunjae and a heart-fluttering dynamic with lee juyeon
pairing: jujae x [fem] reader, 3rd person pov [read as hwang seol eun]
genre [per chapter]: fluff, angst
word count: 3.7k
taglist: @hyunjaethereal @yyyerum @purrple-winkle @17scheol @ten-gift @louvyves @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @flwrtbz @gyujaehyun @i2gyus @sunwoowuvbot @softforqiankun @givememunjang @peachyho @vousty @bubutaeyongie @sofie296 @deputyjuyeon @changminurheart @from-xero @grassbutneo @sknyuz @pockyandme @itstbz @bluecrane01 [pls use this link to submit your URLs for tagging!]
seol eun rolls around in her bed, throat dry and eyes feeling swollen for some reason. the curtains were drawn, though they weren't the night before. the coolness of the room sets in, but she realises the blanket had been pulled up to her shoulders. then, a cloth slides down her forehead and lands right next to her cheekbone, causing a series of surprise blinks.
a yawn stretches her mouth, and she feels the corners of her lips crack as she reaches up to get the cloth. the warmth on one side tells her it was for a fever, and so she sticks her palm behind her knee.
hot.
she slowly sits up, groaning from the weird sensation of feeling hot and cold at the same time. but juyeon peeks his head into her room with the intention of checking up on her, and enters the moment he processes that she's awake.
"hey," he quietly greets and walks over. he sets the glass of water on her night stand and sits by the edge of her bed. "you had a fever this morning and you didn't seem to wake up when i shifted so i thought i'd just leave you to get more rest."
"oh," seol eun frowns and licks her dry lips. "what time is it now? i gotta tell mi jung."
"mi jung already called. i told her you're not feeling well," juyeon leans forward and presses the back of his fingers against her forehead.
"did you... tell her about sang hyuk yesterday?" she whispers, eyes fluttering shut and opening multiple times.
"i didn't have to. she already guessed, and she told me you get sick whenever something like that happens, so," juyeon purses his lips into a sad smile, leaning back and picking the cloth up from her hand. "you're still running a fever so i suggest you stay in bed and rest today. i'll take leave and you don't worry about your meals today, okay?"
"what? no," seol eun whines, struggling to sit up as she rejects the offer. "come on, mi jung already told you this isn't the first time. i can handle myself."
"you can, but why let you when i can do it for you?" juyeon grins, eyes slimming into thin, feline crescents. "stay in bed or go wash up if you have to. but no working today."
so he pecks a kiss to her forehead, turns around with the cloth in his hands and leaves the room. "have the glass of water on your night stand! your lips are falling apart."
and with a small smile, seol eun turns, looking at herself in the curve of the glass.
mi jung sniffles noisily, noticing another person who worked in the building shoot her a tiny glance as she does. so she squints and sniffles even louder, rolling her eyes to herself as she brings the phone up to her ear.
it takes a few rings before seol eun picks up, but it wasn't seol eun. it was-
"mi jung, this is juyeon!"
"uh- that was quick."
"what?"
"nothing," mi jung clears her throat. "is she at your place or are you at hers?"
"i'm at hers. i stayed with her last night."
"ah. is she running a fever after the whole sang hyuk fest?"
"how did you know?"
"have i known her longer or you?"
"right," he pauses. "yeah and she didn't wake up when i got out of bed so i just didn't wake her."
"okay. i'll help lock her as sick today," mi jung stretches her neck. "are you taking care of her today?"
"yeah, is that okay with you?"
"who do you think i am? her mom? do what you want, just don't get her pregnant or in tears again."
"oh- uh- sure, of course."
"alright, bye bye now. use protection if you must," and with those last words, she doesn't bother to wait for juyeon to say the same. she hangs up and shoves the phone back into her pocket, this time now meeting the eyes of her fellow lift-taker. "what? ever heard of 'being responsible'?"
and the lift dings at ground floor at the lift-taker's rescue, who rushes out while mi jung was short of hissing at him. but before she could even throw a vulgarity at him under her breath, she spots the guest at the security's counter.
"...i'll hand it to her when she comes in!"
"don't bother!" mi jung interrupts the party of two. "morning, mr yoon."
"oh! ms choi! this is-"
"she's not coming in today," mi jung squints at the guest, glancing at the thermal flask sitting on the security counter. "so you bring it home. whatever it is."
"is it because of sang hyuk?" hyunjae frowns, turning to face mi jung, who frowns upon the realisation that he was there.
"what were you doing here last night? didn't i tell you to stay out of their business?"
"i was told sang hyuk would be coming and hyungwon told me to come-"
"the kid told you to come?" mi jung offers a smile of disbelief. "you realise you're just using him as an excuse? you know juyeon would've highly likely shown up to fetch her after work and you still came?"
hyunjae grits his teeth so hard, she can see his hind jaw tighten.
"you think you're better than him, don't you? you think he doesn't deserve her."
"i watched her have a panic attack when she saw sang hyuk. i stayed and talked her into calming down, and i stayed to take care of her. with no strings attached!" with every 'i', hyunjae points to himself, a vein on his neck slowly popping out from under his skin as he resists the urge to cry and make a scene in public. "juyeon? juyeon didn't even know!"
hyunjae goes quiet and looks away, gulping and shutting his eyes for abit.
"of course i don't think juyeon deserves her. i was there when she thought she didn't need someone, and now that she realises she does, she goes to him?"
"she has always needed someone, so don't make it sound like all she had was you."
he cannot swallow the fact that he's not special. he cannot listen to her and convince himself that she already has someone to rely on, and it's not him. he clenches his fist, and melancholically takes the thermal flask from the counter.
"don't you dare bring it to her apartment!" mi jung calls after him, who stopped abruptly as he walks out of the building.
"and if i do?" he turns, showing her his side profile.
"then it's not my fault you're asking for a heartbreak."
hyunjae looks straight and contemplates it for a few seconds, then turns and continues walking.
"i'll take my chances."
mi jung groans exasperatedly, throwing her head backwards and rolling her eyes at the ceiling.
"uh... ms choi, do i need to put him on a ban? yesterday he came by in the evening and told me that he had an appointment with ms hwang and he also brought flowers so i thought it was fine."
"he brought flowers?" mi jung raises a brow at the security guard. "what kind?"
"ah. not too sure about that, actually. they are little pink, fluffy ones."
"peonies?" she lets out a soft whisper.
"yes! peonies! they were so pretty!"
she quietly turns back to look out the building, still recognising his back far away, walking down the street. "no need to put him on a ban. he's harmless."
mi jung bids the security guard goodbye, already stressed from the meeting with lee hyunjae. and as if it wasn't enough, she walks into the office floor only to find sang hyuk roaming about the staff's break area where framed pictures of the team had been hung up on the wall above some decor plants.
"don't think guests are allowed in this area," mi jung stands like a rock at the entrance to the break room, folding her arms across her chest. "get out."
he turns upon hearing her voice, smirk plastered to his face with his hands slid into his pocket. he was in a blazer and his briefcase hung from a strap over his shoulder, but he complies and slowly strolls towards the door, eyes still reluctant to leave the pictures.
"she seems happy here."
"she was," refusing to budge, mi jung forces sang hyuk to stop right infront of her. "until you decided to come ruin whatever she had going for herself."
"why would what i'm doing be considered 'ruining'?" he leans back on his hips and innocently tilts his head. "i'm bringing business, no?"
"any other business would've been better than you knocking on our office door."
he scoffs and looks down at his feet, then looks back up and his smile vanishes. "choi mi jung... i'm not here for you. i'm here for her, and you can stay out of it unless you wanna lose your job."
"i would literally drop this job if i could find something else i like better that pays better and wants me," mi jung squints and rambles. "i don't know why you think that was an appropriate threat, but!"
a lone finger runs into his shoulder as she takes a step forward, looking up at him. "if it's a threat anybody should get, it's you. i don't know why your big ol' brain cannot process the fact that you could've been charged with harassment but i'll put it into simpler terms for you: seol eun is the reason why you're not in jail, so be grateful and back the fuck off."
"don't think that's how my organising logs officer should be talking to me."
"you brought a non-work matter into a work environment. i don't think your logs officer telling you the truth is questionable."
sang hyuk smiles and nods subtly. "so tell me about her new boy toys. i understand she has two."
"literally, why would i?" mi jung frowns. "go wait in the guest lounge. our team will meet you at the stipulated time."
"aw, come on! i'll find out anyway, so why not you do the honors and-"
before he can finish, mi jung turns around and shoves her forearm against his neck, backing him up against the corridor's wall and glaring up at him.
"you stay away from her or i will snap your neck myself. you're the reason why she cannot live the life she used to live, and you have the cheek to come back here... saying you're bringing business?"
she huffs, tightening her grip on his collar. he scoffs and struggles for a moment, confident that he can get her off his neck, but she shoves him back even more. he doesn't know mi jung's parents had her and mi young sent to a martial arts school for more than a decade back when they were younger.
"believe me when i say this - i will rip your balls out myself if i have to because you obviously aren't man enough to accept that she's moved on, despite her daily life being plagued by you. you're already stuck in her head like a parasite, so you don't deserve to be anywhere near her in reality."
"ooh," he bites down on his bottom lip. "it's a fiesty one w-"
she forcefully shoves him back, then swiftly knees him in the crotch. with a harsh hiss, he gathers his palms on his groin as his face reddens. mi jung takes a step back, a lack of emotion on her face as she watches him groan in pain.
"i'd stay to talk more sense into you but i don't think that brain of yours works all that well anymore, especially since you seem to think with your balls."
and with that, mi jung turns on her heels and strolls down the corridor back into the cubicle area, leaving him behind and clutching the wall for support.
juyeon carefully pulls a few books out from the boxes stacked in the corner of her room, gently pushing them into the shelves above her working desk. he can hear the running water from the shower and smell the remnants of the fried chicken he had ordered home.
he spent the whole day with her, listening to her talk about her craziest clients, how she grew so close to hyungwon, the early days of meeting mi jung.
juyeon hadn't noticed he was smiling to himself as he recounts how comfortable she seemed slotted up in the gap between his arm adjacent to his chest. her hair flowered all around the pillows, and they smelled like her - though now they kind of smell like him too.
he looks up from her desk upon hearing the distant rumble of thunder and out the glass door of her room. it leads to the balcony, where he lets himself out onto and he sucks in a deep breath. he can smell the rain and the wind combs through his hair, eyes scanning the cloudy night sky.
ding dong.
"i'll get it," he shouts, unsure if she even heard the doorbell. juyeon doesn't really think twice - it's a condominium. you need to be living here to have access in the building.
so he opens it with a polite smile, but it fades quickly into a soft state of confusion.
"hi. is there... anything i can help you with? seol eun is in the bathroom right now, so."
hyunjae blinks twice, then looks down at his hands where he's holding the same thermal flask from morning. "i... thought she could do better with some chicken soup. but it's been in the flask since morning so it might not be all that hot any more."
juyeon looks at hyunjae who lifts the flask up and offers it to him. he wants to take it and hide it in a corner so she never finds it, never drinks it. but he can't say 'no'.
"of course," juyeon responds quietly with a gentle nod, reaching for the flask and hugging it to his body. "is there anything else you need?"
he can see that hyunjae is thinking. he wants to stay, see her and ask her if she's okay. juyeon is an obstacle he doesn't want to step on.
"no," hyunjae looks away and slides his hands into his pockets, offering a small smile. "tell seol eun i send my regards."
"ah, what about the flask when she's done? how will she return it?"
"she doesn't need to. tell her she can keep it if she ever wanted to bring soup or tea into work."
juyeon turns slightly, giving her kitchen a quick sweep. no thermal flasks or bottles in sight.
"sure," juyeon nods, watching the other turn on his heels and enter the lift that was still on this level. "goodnight."
"goodnight."
and as the lift doors close, juyeon closes hers, still hugging the flask to his side.
"who was that?"
he looks up as he turns, palm flying up to hold the flask. "uh... well."
seol eun raises a curious brow first, then she squints. "did my mom just drop by?"
"no! no," juyeon shakes his head, walking around the corner and towards the kitchen. he takes a pot from the dish rack, setting it on the stove and loosening the cap on the flask. "it's... from your friend."
"friend?" she frowns again, coming around with her hair between the ends of her towel as she dries it. "mi jung doesn't have access to the building."
she peers over his shoulder, watching the chicken soup load into the pot. "neither does she know how to cook."
juyeon turns the stove on and covers the pot. seol eun winces to herself upon the realisation.
"juyeon... i- i didn't ask him to-"
"i know you didn't," he leans back against the counter top with his hands gripping the edge. "but it'll be a lie to say that he's putting up a good fight. for you. he's going out of his way to get things you like and take care of you even when he doesn't need to."
seol eun swallows and looks down at her feet. "i just... i don't know what to do with him. he already knows you and i are... kind of a thing."
juyeon nods, then pushes himself off the edge of the counter. "if he's doing this the way i think he's doing it, then he won't stop until we get married. some men are like that and i think we're dealing with one over here," he nods to the pot. "look, all we have to do is keep this up and stay committed to one another and then when the day comes... either i get down on one knee or he gives up... then it'll be over, hm?"
juyeon's eyes soften as he looks down at her, palms on her shoulders and thumb caressing her cheek. seol eun sighs, nodding into the warmth of his hand.
"we'll have the soup and then how about we go out for a walk?" he tilts his head, offering her a small smile. "are you fit for that? i mean, we've been cooped up in here the whole day, i think it'd be nice if we got some fresh air."
"we don't have to have the soup if you don't want to," seol eun shakes her head and shoves herself into his chest, wrapping her arms tightly around him. "it's weird, isn't it?"
"nah, he took the time to make it, we can't just throw it out."
seol eun tightens her hold, and he wraps both arms around her shoulders. "i'm sorry this is happening. if i could undo what happened with him, i would."
"saying that now doesn't change anything. it's okay, what's done is done, hm? anyway, i think the soup's warmed up enough to have, don't think we'd want it piping hot."
she can hear his heart through his shirt before he holds her shoulders upright, leaning down for a peck on her forehead before he turns to the stove and lifts the pot lid.
hyunjae leans back against the basketball post, pulling his hood off his sweaty hair and huffing as he rolls the ball under his feet. he rests his head against the metal, inhaling the scent of the impending rain and looking up at the purple clouds.
he looks down at his hands, veins jutting out from under his skin and slightly red from bouncing the ball on his own, but he reminisces the warmth he wishes he could have back. the warmth from her hands and her body and the scent of her bed the night he stayed after meeting sang hyuk.
if he knew that was his last, he would've never left.
hyunjae sniffles, using his sleeve to rub his eye. as he stands, he stretches his back, yawning a little with the ball now in his hands. but distant laughter catches his ears, so he remains still as the court lights shut off and leave him in the dark. the fluorescent lights from the closest lift lobby draw silhouettes around the pair that just exited, hand in hand and her hair in the wind.
his eyes track them to the little garden and fountain they have out near the entrance, his feet instinctively taking him to the corner of the court just so he could watch them.
a gentle rumble of the thunder cues the both of them to look up, and hyunjae can vaguely hear juyeon tell her they should go home, but of course, seol eun shakes her head and holds his hands, like she was holding hyunjae's heart in hers.
within seconds, it starts to drizzle, and hyunjae can hear their distant laughs and chuckles and then his heart hits the floor when juyeon presses a kiss to the back of her hand.
the greenish-yellow light from the fountain and garden lights create something that looked straight out of the movie, but he wasn't the main character, no.
seol eun was the damsel in distress and that was her prince she was prancing about in the rain with. he was just a commoner who had a crush on her.
the rain kisses his hair through his hood, almost like crocodile tears from the heavens. the water seeps into his skin, turning him cold unlike his hot tears amidst the cool rain water on his face.
but his pride won't fail him. he grits his teeth and tears himself away from the sight, and rushes off in the direction of his apartment.
juyeon's hair is stuck to his forehead as he twirls seol eun around, hand above her head and her hair beginning to wet. he wonders for a moment if he should stop it, bring her home and make her have a hot bath then tuck her into bed and hold her in his arms.
but his heart is warm and happy when he can see the rain seep through her teeth and wet her lips, and her eyes are folded into thin, curved crescents.
the world slows down for a moment, and juyeon can't help himself from holding her face when he finds her staring at him. on impulse, he lowers his head and slots his lips between hers, freezing the moment all too entirely.
he pulls back after a few seconds, eyes darting between hers in a bid to search for any discomfort.
"please be mine," he whispers, pushing her wet hair behind her ears. "you... have my heart in your hands, and i'll do anything to make sure you're happy with that."
seol eun sucks her lips between her teeth, nodding slowly before crying. the response lights a grin up on juyeon's face, and he pulls her into a tight hug with the rain still pouring all over their faces.
seol eun frowns with a tight smile on her face, arms wrapped around juyeon's shoulders. she looks up, forgetting for a moment that it's raining.
the rain kisses her hair through juyeon's hands on her head, almost like a celebratory ceremony from the heavens. the water seeps into her skin, turning her cold unlike her hot tears amidst the cool rain water on her face.
