jnnul

22. usa. the og south indian baddie.

[jnnul]

jnnul’s gallery

name: janani (or jaanu affectionately) pronouns: she/her age: 21 (feb 15th) nationality: usa major: neuroscience + pre-medicine

[MASTERLIST]

associations: @onedoornet

fic rec blog: @jnnlibrary​

fic status: just released voicemail! writing the #euijoofic writer status: so close to graduation, so close to freedom. so many twists and turns. coming back to writing though! i missed you all. (march 31, 2026)

warnings: i do not really tag food/working out/minor body descriptions as triggers. i WILL tag all in depth mentions of body descriptions, sexual/suggestive content, sexual assault, depression, mental health, etc. i do write things that are darker in nature and while i do try to put it in the trigger warning, it may be unexpectedly hard to read for some people. please keep that in mind and let me know if there is something i can do to make it more comfortable for readers!

please comment/tag/leave asks! do not be a silent reader. i do appreciate any and all forms of kindness but there is nothing that encourages an author or artist in general more than interacting with them. it’s SO hard to continue to write when it feels like no one really cares. i’m so incredibly thankful to have so many wonderful and lovely people who do care about what i write and to leave little comments or tags or asks. i read and reread them everyday.

groups i love and my biases: nct (hendery, mark, jisung), aespa (karina, ningning), seventeen (s.coups), enhypen (jay, jungwon), &team (k, fuma, ej), twice (jihyo), riize (sungchan, sohee), exo (d.o), boynextdoor (taesan, leehan), 82major (seongbin)

groups i currently actually follow: none at the moment

let’s be moots!: if you write/create content for any of the above groups, you are a generally kind person!

dni: if you are under 18 pls i don't feel comfortable with minors being on my blog, if you are a solo stan, if you hate...just if you are a hater, that’s okay. just please don’t hate around me.

[jnnul]

ric flair drip is one of my comfort reads of all time. i've read it so many times i feel like i have it memorized, but everytime i reread it i feel like i learn something new. i usually am a silent reader but i just HAD to tell you. i also saw in the comment section that u were thinking of posting an extended version on ao3? i was jus curious abt that too! anyways, keep up the great work ur amazingg

STOPPP you’re so sweet thank you so much im gonna cry :((( im so so so glad you enjoyed ric flair drip omg she’s one of my absolute faves <333 i really really appreciate you reaching out!! i was planning on rewriting a bit of it and releasing on ao3 but in all honesty, it didn’t seem like anyone was interested so i folded the idea (my locus of control in writing is strictly external whoops)

[jnnul]

i know i'm like...shadowbanned or whatever but like are there luné readers on this app i wanna write a euijoo story but idk if there's a luné audience on tumblr

[jnnul]

voicemail

a/n: just watched sinners and wrote this with that section of mounds of bayou looping. missed you guys <3 w/c: 1.1k words genre: angst, star crossed lovers who just can't (my fave genre)

"i love you. god, i fucking love you so much...hey - hey! give me back my fucking phone...no, i just wanted to talk to her one more time...euijoo, fucking stop, give me - "

the words echo through a silent apartment as you stare at your phone, almost as though your phone itself had betrayed you.

the button on your screen mocks you, staring back at you as you fight the urge to play the voicemail one more time. keep this message?

your hands shake and you have to rest the phone on your kitchen counter to keep it from falling. deep breath in, deep breath out. it's okay. this can happen between exes. sometimes, people get drunk and call their exes. it happens, you tell yourself. sometimes, people get voicemails from their exes and they listen to it six times straight.

he changed his number, you realize belatedly. you had blocked his number in a fit of rage after you had broken up with him, never bothering to unblock it after.

and somehow he still knew your number. of course he did.

nicholas was always a fool. he'd forget your favorite color or the fact that you had date night but he'd never forget what made you you. nicholas would worship the ground you walked on if you let him. he'd memorize your soul and make his own heartbeat copy yours.

but nicholas was too much. he was always too much. his love was too much and his ambition was too much. you loved him beyond belief - even beyond the belief that he would change for you.

you were too calm, too deliberate to compete with his lifestyle. you enjoyed tiny flowers in the cracks of the sidewalk where nicholas was always looking towards the fansticks that mimicked the stars across a pitch black sky. the paparazzi, the insane hours, the doubt, the practices, the diet, it was just all too much.

so you broke up with him. told him that you just couldn't handle it anymore.

he'd taken it pretty well, when you'd broken up with him. said that he understood and that he'd be back whenever he could to pick up his things and leave. for a man so fiery and full of passion, you thought it'd turn into a big fight where you'd yell until your voice was hoarse and then he'd yell back in equal fury and passion.

it's been seven months since then, and he still hasn't been back for his things. frustrated that he didn't try and fight for you, the relationship, or the last year that you had been with nicholas, you blocked him everywhere. deleted his number, took his secret account off of your social media, deleted your couple's food account, and donated all of his hoodies. a year's worth of love, gone like it had been a fire doused by a mound of snow.

you hadn't cried. nicholas's reaction was just too calm for you to feel anything. made you feel ridiculous for feeling sad about losing each other. so you didn't. just deleted everything and picked up the pieces to move on with your life.

but you kept the letters. stashed in an inconspicuous box under your bed, stowed away with your summer clothes. you hadn't read them since you and nicholas broke up but some part of you never allowed you to throw them away. there was too much left unsaid that you couldn't bring yourself to forget.

you look back at your phone, the glass of water you'd woken up for abandoned near the sink.

the black screen haunts you, taunting you to play the message one more time.

you shakily hold the phone up to your ear one more time, closing your eyes and listening to the voice of the man you'll never be able to leave behind.

"i love you. god, i fucking love you so much..."

the pain creeps up, slowly, and then all at once. it suffocates the cries that escape your lungs as you press the play button over and over again. it takes the strength from your legs as you collapse on the floor. it steals the last bit of hatred you have for nicholas as tears stream down your cheeks, sobs wracking your body.

at some point, even the pain isn't able to choke out the embers that start to turn into an inferno of sheer agony.

why was the universe so cruel? why did he call you now? seven months later? why was the one person you wanted most the one you couldn't have? why couldn't you forget him? why was nicholas who you wanted? why couldn't it have been anyone else?

why him? why was it you that he had met that fateful night in the convenience store? why was it him that you had poured your heart out to? why was it each other that the other found solace in?

why couldn't you just love him?

you don't know how long you spend like that, crumpled on the ground, crying until you have no tears left and no energy. you lay there, staring at the ceiling of the apartment.

where was he? why was he that drunk? why did he call you?

questions cloud your mind like unforgiving thunderclouds, drowning out any other sound. suddenly, you're overcome with panic, fumbling for your phone, cast aside on the ground next to you.

you unsteadily press your passcode in, frustrated when the phone registers the wrong numbers from your shaking. 070902.

you open the phone app once more, staring at the unsaved number the voicemail came from. you hesitate for just a moment, finger hovering over the 'call' button.

you had broken up with him for a reason. and he was drunk out of his mind, if euijoo's intervention was anything to go by.

either it was your subconscious mind's eagerness or the way your hands were trembling but your finger tapped the call button, ringing silently.

you held the phone to your ear, almost reverently as you waited for the phone to click. you knew he wasn't going to pick up. he was too drunk and euijoo was too good of a friend to let him call you back. this was all just a mistake.

you're about to put the phone down, a mix of disappointment and regret setting into your spine when the ringing stops and your breath catches in your throat.

you'd recognize that voice anywhere. but more than anything, you know there's only one person in the world who would ever say your name like he does.

"y/n? is that really you? y/n?"

nicholas.

[jnnul]

18x2 beyond youthful days (very pure, lovely, yet bittersweet)

us and them (my absolute favourite. the scene where they go over the "what ifs" was so heartbreaking to me. i cried so much in this.) (also, please don't miss the very last bits of this until the very end, i almost did, and i'm glad i didn't. *i shed even more tears after seeing it.*)

fantastic mr. fox (this was just so comforting and fun to watch for me)

isle of dogs (gosh. this is just, such a beautiful film. i'm sure you'll love this one too.)

in fact, i'm sure you'll definitely enjoy all of these. no rush or pressure, but you definitely have got to see these, since i've a feeling you might love these films as much as i did, i hope so :)

i haven't watched a few of these but i am greatly looking forward to watching them! isle of dogs and fantastic mr. fox were a few of my childhood favorite movies so i already know that your suggestions are top tier <3 i will definitely have to write down my thoughts after watching them so hopefully you will stick around long enough to see that anon! thank you so much for the recs!

[jnnul]

hi jaanu! i miss your writing. it was one of the few things that really made me feel something after months of what felt like just dissociating through my days. but your fics had sparked a life in me again. it made me ponder a lot, and i've become quite introspective after reading your work. a particular favourite of mine would definitely have to be tokyo 1988.

a rare gem it truly is.

i heavily recommend to you these movies, as i feel they would resonate with you wonderfully–just from what i've observed through your style of writing. perhaps it could maybe spark some ideas for your future works too, if you're open to that ^-^

i would be delighted to feel through your writing again. whenever you're ready.

love you and hope you're all well!

take care of yourself.

first of all...i hope that you are doing well <3 i hope that life is treating you with love, care, and kindness and that you are doing the same for yourself.

secondly, thank you so so so so much. i've honestly been in such a rut lately for writing and seeing this message has reignited some level of passion that i think i had been struggling to remember. i am so glad that tokyo 1988 resonated with you - it is a story which is so special to my heart.

i am currently in the process of writing a few new projects so i am very excited to flesh those out with your movie suggestions!

[jnnul]

what actually started as a "short hiatus" turned into a full blown 3 year long years of compkete disappearence lmao. Started 11th grade in 2023 and things got very very hectic- classes, prep for entrances and everything. 2023 and 24 were sooo wild and emotionally draining for me because NO ONE TOLD ME ENTRANCE EXAMS ARE SO WMTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY DRAINING📈📈

But yeah, I got into two very good universities. One is known as the oxford of my country, and the other one is the second best school for engineering (Ranked within the top 500 for botg universities so i think itvis a big deal??). Ended up choosing the second one and NOW I'M A CIVIL ENGINEERING MAJOR CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT???And tbh, part of the reason as to why i returned is bc my classes dont start until November lmao.

I also took a trip to nyc, boston, D.C and Orlandi (very random but i wanted to visit Disney world so bad) in May. One of our family friends' son and his wife graduated from Harvard and MIT this year so we got to see the commencement in Cambridge. Absolutely loved it ugh.

Wbu bae, how is life for you?

HI LOVEY i cannot believe i'm responding to this a full 2 months later i apologize life is currently kicking my whole ass rn

AHH CONGRATS ON MAKING IT OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HORRENDOUS EXAMS OF DOOM!!! AND GOOD ON YOU FOR GETTING INTO SUCH GOOD UNIVERSITIES!! so proud of you!!! wowowowow!!!

wow so many good things!! congrats to your family friends and i'm so glad you guys had a great trip!!

are you excited for school start? nervous? civil engineering sounds...like a lot of math lolol

[jnnul]

oh my Goddd i finally found your profile?!! Have been so ia for the past two years, and literally went back on wp to see you gone :(( hru jaan

nini? omg i can't believe it! this is so wild!! i think it genuinely has been years since we've last spoke so pretty much everything is different lol but that's so crazy haha how are you? how is life treating you lately? what prompted your return? missed you like crazy!

[jnnul]

Hi jaanu! i hope you're doing well 💓 just wanted to tell you that i have so much respect for you and your major, and being a genuinely great writer at the same time who is able to convey the feelings i've had over first loves that i cannot put into words. yet you are so effortless and graceful with it. i hold you dearly as one of my favourite writers on here 💝 (tokyo 1988 remains to be one of my all time favourite hidden gems 🤗🥰) please remember to eat well and stay hydrated, don't rush or pressure yourself to write and release something asap, because we'll be here waiting ❤️‍🩹 take your time, please! get lots of rest beautiful 🫂 you're a future neuroscientist and that is so cool to me. you're one of the coolest people i know. i respect you loads and look up to you for what you do and the stories you've written :)

hi!! sorry i'm replying to this literally 2 weeks later :( but you are SO sweet thank you so much!! i really appreciate the kind words so immensely and i hope you are taking care of yourself as well <3 thank you so much for the love (for tokyo 1988 as well!) and thank you for reminding me why i write at all. here's to being a future neurologist! thank you so much <3 feel free to pop by whenever, love. i promise i'll be better about responding lolol

[jnnul]

guys what do i do :( i know that i haven't written anything in so long and it's eating me away that i haven't written anything/talked to anyone :((( like i hate posting once every 4 months and disappearing but it takes me so long to write nowadays bc i have so much going on but i love you all so much that i sit down to write and i come up empty :(( will delete this soon but just...not sure what to do i guess :/

[jnnul]

hi i read ric flair drip for the first time today and i thought it was so tender and romantic. very lovely story about young adults navigating relationships. really liked the emphasis on communication instead of allowing misunderstandings to build up and cause harm in the relationships.

as a muslim girlie who does not follow islam traditionally/strictly (i do drink and party occasionally), i was curious about fatima's character. the scene btwn her and oc made me emotional bc it reflected some of my current feelings about romantic relationships. i just really liked that representation and nuance in a minor character

omg thank you so much? i'm so glad that you enjoyed ric flair drip and i'm so thankful that fatima's storyline was able to stand out for you <3 i honestly wish i could include more representation and various walks of life in more of my works and now i know that people genuinely do like it when i do!!

[jnnul]

this funny feeling

a/n: i'm writing this long ass thing and it's taking everything out of me so...here's a little smth that i conjured up while i was taking a writing break cause i'm running on fumes lol

word count: 1.7k

there's a funny feeling in your chest when you look at sungchan jung. all six feet of broad shoulders, strong muscles, and cocky smiles of him. the feeling settles in your stomach like a caged set of butterflies are preparing to take flight but haven't quite found their wings just yet.

instead, every time he smiled, laughed, yelled across the room, or even just purses his lips in silence, the butterflies in your stomach flapped around helplessly as you watched him.

it's almost cliché, the way that everything leading up to this has played out.

the two of you had gone to the same elementary school, middle school, and now, high school. but while you'd doodled his name in the corner of your assignments, only to hurriedly scratch it out before submitting it, you knew for a fact that sungchan barely knew you existed.

it'd made you upset at first; the way he walked past you without so much as a spare glance while you'd rack your brain, trying to come up with ways so that you could end up in his general vicinity, drawn like a moth to a shining star.

and then, it became natural. in the stories, the shy, quiet girl only got the handsome, charming boy if she had a glow up that involved a) tutoring the said charming boy or b) if she took off her glasses.

unfortunately for you, neither of those things worked on sungchan. so you were left with just awkward interactions in the hallways when you'd accidentally bump into him or stumbling over your words when he asked to borrow a pencil.

in the past fourteen years you'd been aware of sungchan, you don't think you'd crossed his mind even once.

but then something changed.

the way that he used to glide past you in the hallways turned into a slow, deliberate saunter. he held your gaze as you passed out papers with the teacher. his voice dropped to gentle tones when he asked you what you'd gotten for number seven.

it was devastating, being noticed by sungchan. you couldn't pinpoint what exactly had drawn his attention. so you spent hours every morning, dolling yourself up as much as possible in the constraints of your uniform, hoping that the prettier you got, the more of his attention you could steal.

soon, sungchan began asking you about yourself. your name. which university you wanted to go to after high school. what you wanted to do with your life. why you were in microeconomics of all classes together with him.

it was everything you'd ever dreamed of. there had been decades where you'd prayed that he would just turn around and look at you, standing at the other end of the hallway, your gaze following him. and now, he was sitting and talking to you, asking you things that you didn't think he would ever care to ask.

but every moment felt like you were waiting for the other shoe to drop. it was excruciating, feeling giddy and answering his questions as you felt your stomach clench with the foreboding thought in your mind that all of this was so temporary. that he was bored with his perfect friends, his perfect life, and his perfect everything, that you were just the little fixation of the day.

that he was just making friendly conversation since you were in the last three months of high school, leaving all the people you'd known since you were unable to even pronounce words fluently to venture onto adventures in places you still couldn't pronounce.

and then there was the stupid, hopeless part of you that just kept wishing that it was because he'd finally opened his eyes. that sungchan had turned and saw you at the end of the hallway and decided to walk towards you. that he had chosen you as the one he wanted to walk out of high school with.

it was a stupid, hopeless notion.

sungchan loved his girlfriend too much to even entertain the thought of you as anything but just a pity case of a person that he wanted to get to know before he locked all of high school into some folder in his mind that he never quite felt compelled to open.

she was gorgeous too. never seemed to ever be able to just melt into a crowd. somehow, crowds parted to carve her a path, people tripped over their own feet to help her in her times of need, and people always noticed her. she was so sweet. it nauseated you. so smart. it infuriated you.

and she was so in love with sungchan that you physically felt ill every time you looked at the two of them. all six feet of him and all five and a half feet of her. the skirt that seemed to flop around uselessly around your thighs and seemed to accentuate her every curve.

the way she waited so patiently every time sungchan cut away from her to talk to someone, his arm still reaching out blindly for her waist.

the way she invited you to her graduation party when she'd spoken to even less than sungchan had just because sungchan stopped in the hallway once to ask you about how the microeconomics exam had gone.

the way that sungchan had looked at her, beaming with pride.

it was devastating, feeling as though the butterflies were beating themselves to a horrid, tragic death as you realized that for all of your primping and priming, sungchan had only ever noticed you as yet another somewhat friendly face in the crowd. never the romantic interest that you always wanted to be to him. just someone that he'd wave at on the street but never cross the street to talk to. someone else that he could add to his repertoire of people he knew.

and the worst part? you were sure that he didn't even think about it that way because you were sure he didn't even think about you enough to define it.

when he asked you to sign his yearbook, three days before the last day of school, you almost said no. what would he do with your wishes when he wouldn't even remember you existed the moment graduation was over?

but then he looked at you with those big brown eyes that could melt the fiercest glaciers in the arctics and you were a goner. you tried to ignore the way that the cage in your stomach where you stored all the butterflies that gave you that funny feeling when you looked at sungchan jung was starting to give when his hand brushed against yours. the way that you could feel them slip out of the cage, slowly, quietly, and then all at once.

have a great summer, sungchan. thanks for all the funny feelings, all these years. - y/n

you knew he didn't and wouldn't read it. your handwriting was too small, having shoved the letters in between so many others, pages filled to the brim with all of his well-wishers.

and yet, the cliché is right, when he sees you again all these years later.

he's standing across the street at an intersection in the heart of a city you never thought you'd ever be able to afford to live in. he's alone, in a three piece suit and a coffee cup in his hand. you don't see him this time, much too preoccupied with the funny text that a coworker had sent you.

but the butterflies start, even before you look up and you just know. your head lifts, frantically searching the crowd as you melt into it, so sure of his presence and yet being unable to find him.

you stand on the other side of the street, eyes filled with tears. why? for losing him for the second time? for the fact that sungchan was still the reason why you had a funny feeling in your stomach? you don't know.

unsure of what to do or where to search, you adjust the strap of your briefcase, smiling a bitter smile as you sigh. perhaps you were always meant to be perpendicular. meant to meet, never meant to stay.

you turn, ready to compose yourself and shove the butterflies back into the cage but you can't. not when he's staring at you, having never crossed the intersection.

he's watching you carefully, as though he's worried that he might offend you with his memories. that the fact that he remembers exactly who you are when you might not remember him is the singular most devastating thing he can think of.

"what did you mean by that?" he asks. it's the first thing that he says in years. it's one of the twenty-six conversations you'd ever had with him.

"i'd loved you for a long time," you admit.

sungchan just watches you, steam rising from the coffee cup, evidently freshly brewed. "why didn't you tell me?"

you shrug. "you never asked."

"i didn't know."

"about my love or about who i was?"

"i'm sorry."

you sigh again, smiling a sweet and yet so melancholy smile. "it's okay. it was my fault."

"do you wanna catch up? how have you been since high school?" sungchan looks nervous, foot pawing at the ground, scuffing his freshly polished loafers. you tilt your head, and now, it's your turn to watch him.

"yeah, let's catch up some time, sungchan," you say finally. he smiles that stupid, gorgeous smile and you know you're done for.

the butterflies no longer can be confined in their cage as they flap outwards, occupying every inch of your body as he types his number into your phone.

"you haven't changed your number," you bemuse.

"neither have you. changed your number, i mean. you've changed a lot though," sungchan says.

"yeah?"

"yeah. i'll tell you how over a cup of coffee."

you laugh, and sungchan is unable to keep the smirk off his face. you just wave him off and start towards your office, promising to text him later in the day.

"oh and y/n?" sungchan calls out from behind you. you don't turn around but you pause your movements, ready to hear him out.

"thanks for this funny feeling for the past fourteen and a half minutes."

[jnnul]

どうか、自分のことをそっと抱きしめるように、大切にしてね。

心も体も、たまにはふわっと緩めて、ゆっくり休ませてあげてほしいの。

医大の道は本当に険しくて、大変なこともたくさんあると思うけど、どうか無理しすぎて、心まで疲れきってしまわないようにね。

時には、自分に厳しくなりすぎちゃうこともあるよね。

でも、そんな時こそ、少しだけ手を止めて、深呼吸してみて。

あなたの書く文章は、私にとって本当に特別なの。かけがえのない宝物のようで、世界にひとつしかない輝きを放っている。

まるで、この世でたったひとつのきらめきを宿した宝石みたいに、そっと心に触れてくれるの。

最近読んだ中でも、いちばん心に残って、何度も思い出したくなるくらい大好き。

だから、焦らなくていいよ。ゆっくり、あなたのリズムで進んでね。

人生は本当に美しい。そして、その美しさは、ちゃんとあなたの中にも生きてるよ。

this is...so sweet...i cannot begin to express how thankful i am for this message. i ran it through around 4 different translators, absolutely unable to believe that someone around the world not only resonates with what i write but has gone so far to reach out and write to me about it. i hope you know that i have read every single line of this message over and over again until i have started to understand each individual word and yet, i am again shocked by the sweetness, the kindness, the beauty, and the humanity behind every word written here. i hope you treat yourself with the same kindness and love that you have shown me and i will continue to write stories that come from my soul so that i can perhaps be some comfort in your spare time. thank you so much for this message, love <3

[jnnul]

goliathan fic incoming? i can't wait <3 i just know i will love it because i love the way you think. and i love your way of seeing things. you are just, such a beautiful human being as a whole. please take your time. and don't worry too much. there is no pressure :) i'd devour your thoughts spilled on paper forever if i could

stop it. you stop it rn you’re gonna make me CRY this is so sweet?? i am so so so so so grateful you feel that way and that is such a poetic and beautiful thing to say you want me to sob in front of you that’s ok i’ll do it bc you are so KIND thank you

[jnnul]

hello friends...how y'all doing...i am once again requesting for help...i'm writing a fic called growing pains (ft. bnd's taesan and leehan) and it's ric flair drip's spiritual successor and also ric flair drip and tokyo 1988's love child and it is so dense and i was hoping that one of you lovely people would help a girl out and maybe beta read for me? absolutely no pressure but if you could <333 that would be great <3333

[jnnul]

hi again, this is the anon from before! to answer your question — i’m super invested in riki x reader’s relationship and really want to know more about them so personally i vote for going one main character at a time and exploring their life during/after tokyo 1988 so that we can have a more riki x reader centered fic hehe. but i look forward to anything you put out! thank you🫶🏻

hiii anon! yeah that definitely makes sense haha - i think if anything, i'll probably write a shorter (it's still def gonna cross 5k at least...rip...) but sweeter fic for riki x reader before tokyo 1988!! for rn i kinda don't have a super clear idea of where i'd want the other characters to go so i'll just kinda reveal snippets of riki and y/n pre-baby lolol

[jnnul]

How'd the 7 essays in the span of 24 hours go?? 😭😭😭

HAHA i finished them thanking you for checking in anon