10.01

[jo1088]

To each heartbreak, to the sorrows that have come and will keep coming, to everything that happens in life - smile and laugh like it was nothing. They don't need to know how close you were to breaking, you pulled yourself back together and you are what matters. Live and let the past stay where it is.

[jo1088]

[jericosilvers]

[jo1088]

We wake up one day

And realize that we have been doing the same thing day after day. And it wasn't exciting or fun or even memorable except that ot was on repeat for our short eternity. Then we begin to feel it again, our life slowly draining from our bodies and weakening our souls. We can feel it all coming to a close having not yet experienced much outside of our bedroom walls. We wasted it, and we can try to catch up but it's too late and we know it. And I know it.

[jo1088]

I wonder what it is that I do that makes everyone leave.

[jo1088]

A bit of myself.

I gave her a little bit of myself. I cut it out of my foot, just a small piece, because I didn't think she would stay too long and I didn't want anyone to know I was incomplete when she was gone. She was known for quick fits of passion that ended as soon as they began. I never thought my affair with her would be any different. So I knew that if the part of me I gave her was visible I would be asked why. Why did you give in? Why did you letyourself become another fool in her game? Why add yourself to her collection? Why, knowing you couldn't hold her, would you try to catch hold? And I know that they would never understand. Her love was fierce and wild and anyone who would question giving into that has never been close enough to that kind of love to understand. She loved with everything she had without hesitation; and so it burnt up quick. She loved until she couldn't love anymore. I couldn't imagine what that felt like so I gave in, gave away a bit of myself in exchange for a love so deep you couldn't ask for more. A sudden, fleeting moment of that kind of love was worth losing yourself.

[jo1088]

[jo1088]

Seeking

One stranger. Someone to stay anonymous in my life but be on the other side of the internet waiting. Someone to talk to about everything and connect with but never meet. Someone to love and be loved by through thoughts and words without any tangible connections.

[jo1088]

Moments

There was never a “moment.” As much as I wanted there to be. We just kind of settled into habit and routine. It came natural so it took me awhile to realize. The connection was already there, everything was in place; there was no need for a big sudden moment to tell me I had found my happiness because I had been living it all along.

[jo1088]

To 2016

I’m worn out. And broken down. And can’t wait for something better. I’ve never felt this lost at the end of a year before. I’ve never felt the need for a change or a resolution. I’ve never wanted to leave something behind so bad. But here I am hoping for something better around the next turn. Wishing for a different me in a different world. Something more comfortable. Something that doesn’t feel so hetic and confusing. Something that makes me feel like I fit again. But I guess the lucky, terrible thing is that I am still here. I can still change and move forward to something hopefully better. So here’s to a sense of belonging in a world not yet made.

[jo1088]

#100words

[showerthoughtsofficial]

LMNOP is like the face melting guitar solo of the ABC song.

[jo1088]

Lullaby.

We lay with our demons to the sound of sweet lullaby telling lies that in life we had done enough and the time was now when we should join them in the sleep of forever.

[jo1088]

[jo1088]

[jo1088]

[jo1088]