BORK!

Cinephile.Music Lover..Art and Aesthetics.

[joeljthatswrite]

Hammerspace

By Joel Johny

With pen in hand, I conjure worlds unseen, From thin air, I summon stories pristine, In this extradimensional tapestry untold, My creations emerge as a sight to behold.

Through writing, my creativity blooms, An artist's haven where imagination looms, Through ink and paper, I breathe life anew, Giving birth to worlds, both old and true.

In shadows' embrace, my past remains, A 26-year journey laced with stains, From childhood's depths, where trauma seeped, A shattered soul, its wounds still steeped.

Through poetry's lens, I'll paint my tale, In words that pierce, where sorrows prevail, With each verse, a cathartic release, A glimpse into wounds that never cease.

Through metaphors, I'll navigate the pain, Unravelling scars, like cracks in the pane, Yet, through it all, a flicker of hope, A flame that dances, a resilient scope.

Through poetry's embrace, I'll heal the scar, Transforming anguish into art bizarre, For in Hammerspace, I shall reside, A wounded poet, finding solace inside.

[joeljthatswrite]

An Open Letter to a Vivid Recollection

I remember one day -sometime during fifth grade- a substitute teacher was supposed to take a few lessons for us.

All sophistication and smiles, she tried to break the ice by asking each one of us two things- our names and what we wanted to be when we grow up.

Doctor. Lawyer. Fashion Designer. Engineer.

It was a fun game until your turn came up.

Forgive me, for I cannot seem to recollect your name but your answer to question no. 2 remains etched in my brain.

"Happy."

You said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and nobody seemed to understand why.

I remember how there were some confused smiles, some narrowed eyes as a few moments flew by before the new teacher simply moved on to the next child.

No one took you seriously, I suppose.

Maybe happiness seemed too trivial in our lives; it became a checklist of good grades and all-rounder certificates for us.

Or maybe at the age of eleven, we thought that happiness is a given- that it's something certain that will just happen to all of us.

Engineer. Dancer. Vet. Painter.

I remember my stomach sinking as the game continued. I didn't have a clue what job I wanted to do. I just knew one thing.

"Successful." I remember mumbling.

Eleven years have gone by since the day a classroom full of 11-year olds tried to map out their entire lives with a one-word reply.

I have wondered at times how everyone from that room is doing but lately, I often wonder how you are doing. These days, I find myself thinking about you quite a lot, actually.

Like every time I get a call about how all projects have been paused indefinitely.

Like every month when I pay the rent for a home circumstances wouldn't even let me stay in anymore but I'm too attached to let it go.

And like every day when I alienate myself from my own people because I don't know how to tell them that I've grown to hate the life they painstakingly built for me.

I imagine what your life is like, and whether your 11-year old self would be satisfied if he could see you right now.

I wonder whether people still laugh at you when you tell them you just want to be happy.

I wonder whether they laugh to hide the fact that no amount of ticks on their professional to-do list will be able to give them this one thing.

I hope you're doing well. I hope you're happy. I hope you still find it in yourself to give uncomfortable answers in a room full of denial.

Lots of love,

Me

[joeljthatswrite]

Ruminating Thoughts #6

People who align with objective reality and the pursuit of truth rather than crowd/peer pressure to act against treachery and acts of violence set the right example.

The only choice we get to make - whether we die opposing or supporting tyranny, we are still well-advised to choose freedom.

Don't be a silent bystander.

If not for ourselves, then for the world that was and the world that may yet be.

[joeljthatswrite]

Toxic Fans 101

Toxic Fans 101 TW: Domestic violence, r*pe threats, cyberbullying Some people are absolutely abhorrent, disgusting and evil. What the fuck people. What the actual fuck. How dare you abuse/threaten a man, his partner, and their unborn child over a damn loss! You think you're entitled by being petty, mean, sending death/r*pe threats...Then I check their blog/social media accounts and it's about mental health and supporting one another, not shaming anyone, blah blah blah. It's just a sport buddy, tearing at each other's throats isn't going to make anyone feel any better. So take a deep breath. Touch grass and chill. I understand how fans hate dominance, they find it annoying and want the underdogs to succeed, but seeing the amount of hate and hostility a sportsperson receives on every social media platform just breaks my heart. A few months back, cases of domestic violence increased by a staggering 38% in the UK when England lost to Italy in the Euros. Why do y'all have to vent out your frustration on someone else over a damn game? This is the reason why I don't feel like emotionally investing in any club or sports team; cause most people can't take a loss in stride.

[macrolit]

“The paradox of education is precisely this — that as one begins to become conscious one begins to examine the society in which he is being educated. The purpose of education, finally, is to create in a person the ability to look at the world for himself, to make his own decisions, to say to himself this is black or this is white, to decide for himself whether there is a God in heaven or not. To ask questions of the universe, and then learn to live with those questions, is the way he achieves his own identity. But no society is really anxious to have that kind of person around. What societies really, ideally, want is a citizenry which will simply obey the rules of society. If a society succeeds in this, that society is about to perish. The obligation of anyone who thinks of himself as responsible is to examine society and try to change it and to fight it -– at no matter what risk. This is the only hope society has.”

— James Baldwin (1924-1987) American novelist, playwright, activist

[joeljthatswrite]

Demisexuality

I used to watch romantic movies/shows as a kid and wonder "there's no way people would just start dating someone before they get to know them, right? I'm sure the show/movie is just exaggerating" and then you go to college and find out that no, lots of people are like that, and YOU'RE the odd one out for wanting to get to know someone before even thinking of dating them. It's only when I became an adult, I realized there's nothing wrong with me. For me, it is wrapped in emotions, vulnerability and getting lost in the moment ,i.e. it isn’t a clear cut thing but an experience overall. I had an existential crisis for a while when I first learned that Demisexuality was a thing. But I also felt a sense of belonging. Considering how much I’ve had to force myself into romantic/sexual situations and then disliked the entire experience. Peer Pressure. Felt like I was missing out on something, crying in the cab, going back home, questioning my decisions. I desire comfort. As a child I grew up in a household where my parents didn't really express their feelings. I don't recall the last time I embraced them. Now, not only do I struggle with expressing my own emotions, I also don't know how to ask for comfort. Much like trying to make a small circle of lifelong friends, I have no idea how to ask for a platonic hug, hold hands (fingers intertwined) , cuddle, etc. And even if I did, I'd probably be scared and anxious that it would be misinterpreted in the long run. I already had a plan to find more like-minded, supportive, meaningful friends last year, but this pandemic has made it 10x harder for me. I'm a homebody that prefers socializing in person to get to know someone. I haven't met many people from the ace spectrum. If you are or know someone who does , do reach out.

[remanence-of-love]

[joeljthatswrite]

Ruminating Thoughts #5

I've summoned the courage to take the first steps in changing my life and connect with others in a journey that is ultimately relatable to many. A far cry from the person I used to be - vulnerability almost crippling me from going after what I wanted more than anything.

[joeljthatswrite]

Ruminating Thoughts #4

Father and Son hold each other at bay, unwilling to risk vulnerability or discovery, but they also feel unseen and invisible to the people they love the most. Sharing those feelings, inhibitions, or secrets could be an opportunity to transform their relationship into a more open, authentic one.

[joeljthatswrite]

Date Night Idea

You have a date night scheduled for:

SATURDAY: July 10th

Time: 7pm

Where: (It's a surprise)

With: ME (Who else)

Attire: Who am I to tell you what to wear...

[ellenripleys]

my blog truly reflects my life.. inconsistent.. disorganised… annoying

[resqectable]

“In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about ever again. But you do.”

— C.S. Lewis, The Wonder Years (via thoughtkick)

[joeljthatswrite]

Ruminating Thoughts #3

"Spare the rod and spoil the child" has scarred generations for life.

[joeljthatswrite]

Ruminating Thoughts #1

I used to worry that by not sharing a fundamental belief that characterizes my family, I risk not belonging. Even amid conflicts and differences of ideas/opinions, a family must be built on the bedrock of a willingness to listen, along with mutual empathy, love and acceptance.

Anything less than that is unacceptable.

[joeljthatswrite]

Brand work

[joeljthatswrite]

Cryptocurrency is just astrology for men

[joeljthatswrite]

I realize I shy away from opportunities because "why would they want me?" when I know there are people better than me that deserve that position. It's a terrible drag on my psyche.