a cup o'joe's

Confessions of a confirmed Coffaholic Turd 

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The Quarantine Diet…

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Figurine of the Day #39 - Julius Squeezer!

Figurine of the Day #39 – Julius Squeezer!

Possibly the greatest of all the Rompan Empoorers, Julius Squeezer will be remembered for many, many things…

He conquered three quarters of the known bowl, from the arse end of the Dark Continent, almost all of Eurpoop, the Sh*telands of the Poopalonia and he even conquered the Kingdoms set up by Alexander the Sh*te. 

He only came up short when he couldn’t quite establish a permanent…

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Figurine of the Day #38 - Napooleon!

Figurine of the Day #38 - Napooleon! #turds #theturds #collector

Figurine of the Day 38 – Napooleon!

There have been a number of great leaders in the Turd World. However, Eurpoop has the distinction of having given birth to most of the Foul Kings and Dictators in Turd History: Adolf Shitler, Julius Squeezer, Messolini, Blobsspierre, Karzi Whilhelm and ofcourse Napoolian Blownafart. 

Known for his diminutive size, his terrible temper and his fantasy that…

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JUMP IN ON THIS GUYS ITS WELL WORTH THE TIME AND EFFORT facebook.com/events/2624797… https://www.instagram.com/p/CDOr_AShsTr/?igshid=13i92ffwy0d8z

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HOT TURD TIME MACHINE!

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Figurine of the Day #33 - DR POO!

Figurine of the Day #33 - DR POO! #turds #drwho #figurine

Would you like a Jelly Baby?  The cheeky smile, the tip of an overly long scarf, the big floppy hat and of course, the useful Sonic Loobrush, there is no mistaking the scoundrel of Guffifray, the one true Dr Poo!

As he steps out of his amazing TURDIS with a shout of “follow me, bum chum!” and skids through the Bowl into adventure after adventure, you can be sure of one thing: neither the…

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Amelia Arseheart!

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Figurine of the Day #31 - Adolf Sh*tler!

Figurine of the Day #31 – Adolf Sh*tler!

If ever there was a Turd to cast a dark stain across the undergarments of the Turd World’s history, it would be the pint-sized maniac known as Adolf Sh*tler. Rising to the top of the pile seemingly from out of nowhere, Adolf Sh*tler became the leader of a small but vocal group of Turds at the heart of the Wischer Repooplick.

Gaining poopularity, Sh*tler and his newly created Shatzi…

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Figurine of the Day #30 - Plop Idol!

Figurine of the Day #30 – Plop Idol!

Simon Bowel, arguably the most arrogant yet turdtastic talent scout of the Turdworld, is famous for his show FART FACTOR which launched Gareth Shites into the public eye, crowning him as the ultimate Plop Idol! Unfortunately, this crusty crooner’s career was to be a sensationally short flush in the pan, reaching number one with his cover of the classic Unflushed Melody but then nothing else…

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Figurine of the Day #29 - Lucky Sh*t!

Figurine of the Day #29 – Lucky Sh*t!

“Has anyone seen who stole my Lucky Farts!?”

An indisputable fan favourite!

With his peat bog stink and whiskey flavoured laugh, his farts bring luck to whoever smells them!

Forget kissing the blarney stone if you are fortunate enough to be able to pucker up to this tricky little fella, your day will definitely start on a high note!

ALL CHARACTERS CONCEPTS AND ARTWORK IS COPYRIGHT ©…

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Redraw Series #4 – Shatman!

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Figurine of the Day #28 - Shatman!

Figurine of the Day #28 – Shatman!

Young Bruce Strain witnessed the flushing of his parents by one of the Bogfather’s grime lords.

Cared for by his loyal butler Alfred Spendapenny, he spent his teenage years learning how to be the most deadly Arseassin and the greatest detective the bowl has ever seen. Throughout the darkest, most stench filled passages of the Turd World the Bogfather’s henchmen whisper in huddled piles about…

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No Sh*t Sherlock!

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Kiss My Ring!

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Summertime Social Distancing!

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Figurine of the Day #27 - No Sh*t Sherlock!

Figurine of the Day #27 – No Sh*t Sherlock!

Much has been written about this unmistakable Turd, from the original release of his stories by his welshcake munching partner Dr Plopson, through to the many theatrical versions of his life and untimely demise at the great Rottencrack Falls along with his greatest foe Professor Morrifarty.

There are some Turds that simply believe him to be a work of fiction, especially as Dr Plopson wrote his…

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Figurine of the Day #26 - Mr Brown!

Figurine of the Day #26 – Mr Brown!

Along with other slightly off colour Turds, Mr Brown made a very distinct mark on the Bowl during the now almost legendary Bogs incident. 

Mr Pink, Mr Green, Mr White, Mr Black, Mr Yellow and of course Mr Brown. Under the Bogfather these slick as a wet banana, Arsemarni suit wearing Turds became the toast of the underground grime syndicate for their amazing ability to blow into town and get…

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