stolen images.

joseph vanity, twenty-one years old. i am not here to fuck around.

[gem-coco-blog]

p…oop

[joevanity-blog]

hahaha.gif i just saw everyone's leaving notices????? 

well

[joevanity-blog]

oh well, better late than never. wait, why? what’s going on? you’re not setting me up with serial killers, are you? because it’s the polite thing to do. ah, you’re like a brick wall. i hope this isn’t what you’re like when making love. /got a little bit .. lkjsf .) augh, black coffee isn’t what i’d categorize under “finer things”, but … you know, sure. maybe one day i’ll see the ~finer side of it. ;D sure, why not? i’ve been out-of-touch with everyone for a while - hey, how’s daria doing? hahaha~ /laughs ; lol that was redundant.) you can say trick-or-treat to me, and then i’ll give it to you. gotta come in costume though. 8) i don’t want that. you’ll have your funeral song, and it’ll be a damn good one. …. … oh, ~you know. other things. /wiggles eyebrows suggestively.) 

haha. hahaahha. HAH. /teasing, forced laughter.) okay, joe. okay. /mockingly sympathetic pat on his shoulder.) i don’t know, man. if we ever do it, let’s do it outside of london. beating my ass, my ass. >: … that sounded strange. sad. but i’ll happily be the girl for you. /leans in palm.) oh, i know, alright. i was thinking maybe you met ~the one, and changed. /small smile.) guess not, but you still have meee~ /waiter comes over and orders _______________.)

no, 'course not. but better smiles doesn't always mean more attractive, y'know. well, in case you haven't noticed, i'm not polite. unless i have to be. but i don't have to be polite to you. /sputters a bit. o-of course not. i'm a stud in bed. /pffff. which is you're not invited to my parties, because you can't appreciate the finer things. /he's kidding, of course. yeah, seriously, i feel like i haven't seen you all that much since we graduated. still going at it at honeydukes? daria's doing fine. we still meet up from time to time to chat. /:| face. that ruins the point of trick-or-treating? plus, i'm not dressing up in a stupid costume this year. that's so 19-years-old. /LOL bc that's the last time he did it, so mature joe. good, it better be. ...what other things? surely you don't just keep me around to striptease for.

/frown. i'm more a ladies man than you are, and you know it. what, too scared to prove it? but fine, fine, alright. outside of london. /snort. me? change? fat chance, i'm perfect the way i am. /did those words rly come out of his mouth. i do, don't i. too bad you look fucking lousy in a dress. /orders too?

[joevanity-blog]

adrian--knight replied to your post: omfg im cry soojee got me a birthday present and...

I AM

GOOD

[joevanity-blog]

omfg im cry soojee got me a birthday present and made me a card and it was beautiful

bet y'all are jealous we're having quality face-to-face time huh 8)

[joevanity-blog]

ryan--reid replied to your post: what i though franny was frida what omg now i’m...

I’M SORRRRRRRRRRRY

omg don't be sorry, you didn't do anything wrong!!!!! i was just kind of confused for a while but I'M ALWAYS CONFUSED so c:

[joevanity-blog]

this is what i spent the last 10 minutes doing help

[joevanity-blog]

ah, alright. why haven’t i met these friends of yours yet? how about the one with the better smile, for now? /laughing about it.) i’m not picky. oh, come on, the least you could do is return it. /hangs onto him for a little bit longer, then lets go.) oh yes, you can bond over coffee beans and the awful bitter taste. i’ll do it if you introduce me to your friends. i’ll just go up to them and say, ‘hey, i’ve got a friend who likes the same kind’a coffee as you, and he wants to hang out.’ i’ve got apples at home. i’ll send one over to you as a treat on the 31st. ;D /omfgfkgjdk.) a funeral song .. well, if that’s your final request. wow, that’s a tragic love story. i dunno if i’ll be able to sing if i’m choking on my tears. splinch-a-holics anonymous ..? /starts to laugh.) oh, that, amongst other things. ;D

i .. you know! artists! i do it with music. you do it with - i don’t know. /smirks.) most of my fantasies do come true though. i’ve got an idea to prove it, but it’ll only end up with both of us humiliating ourselves, so let’s not. yes, but .. would you still describe them as lady-like? isn’t there another word for it? /scratches cheek; thinks.) heh. i am joking. /strokes his arm with his forefinger once all flirtingly anyway.) thanks. it was on a rainy day. i had to find shelter. you won’t regret it. /holds up two fingers ; table for twooo ; and sits down.) so, with all that joking around earlier, i didn’t actually ask. are you seeing someone? because that would’ve made things a little awkward. /raises hands.) serious question this time, outta curiousity.

maybe because you haven't asked. better smile? okay...but it's your funeral. why would i return it. /if possible stiffens up more lmao. it's not awful, you just don't have the taste buds to appreciate the finer things. my friends? you know all of my friends, if not most. do you wanna meet them again? adrian, it doesn't fucking count if you give them to me. it's called trick-or-treating for a reason. it is, it is, and it better be a damn good one. well, you'd better, or my ghost'll come back to haunt you. exactly, that's the idea. /cobbsquint. what other things?

i do it with my natural-born charm, thank you very much. what a cop-out. i was really looking forward to me beating your ass. i dunno. /shrug. all i know is that you're the girl in this situation. good. and alright, alright, i trust you. /shakes head sits down. you know me, am i ever dating anyone? i'm not the commitment type.

[joevanity-blog]

jac-lefevre replied to your post: rosie-hunter replied to your post: what i though...

no i asked first and she doesn’t wuh

o ok i see i see

[joevanity-blog]

alright, well. i like blondes. 8) /jumps on that suggestion LOL.) what, oh no. that’s gotta change, haha. c’monnnn, if you’re not gonna come in and get it, i’ll come and get you. /spreads arms out invitingly — then totally just grabs him into a tight bear hug.) i do. it seems a few people i know drink black coffee. augh. /rubs eyes.)  when halloween comes around, if you get any sweets, you can send them over to me, then. yes, like a memory charm. hey! /hand to chest; offended look.) my memory charms are perfe…ct… not, but, they’re decent. oh, how rude, though i’m not sure there’s much i can do if you’ve got a gaping hole in your chest. i assume you’d either be dead or dying and i can’t … disapparate … /dramatic sigh.) i knew it. c; thank you very much for being my fashion adviser today.

i’m sure if we had to seduce a woman with our drawings, she would come to me, okay. /grins.) what?? i’ve got muscles and abs and everything. look at this! /flexes.) now tell me, how is this lady-like? oh — /lewd smirk; wiggles eyebrows; i can’t.) i was going to say we don’t have to imagine. let’s get you outta those clothes. i’ve got a dress at home — that doesn’t belong to me. obviously. /doesn’t actually fmfaohd.) okay, here! /holds door open for him.) have you been here before? their croissants are sublime. 

i have a blonde friend or two that could work. how picky are you on attractiveness? no it's not, i don't see why -- oh merlin no -- /just :||||| face and stiff while getting hugged LOL. no touching!! really? people besides me? you must introduce us. done. and if you get any apples or raisins...i guess you can give them to me. /omg imagine a group of grown-up men trick-or-treating slkdjsg. decent is a highly optimistic way of putting it, i think. you could write a funeral song, maybe. at least send me out right. aw, don't worry, i'm sure there are some other complete, bumbling idiots that can't apparate either. maybe you could start a support group. anytime, anytime. it's what you keep me around for.

wow, first of all, why would we ever try to seduce a woman with our drawings? that's about the least seductive thing i've ever heard. second of all, yeah, in your delusional fantasies, maybe. /raises eyebrows. hey, there are female body-builders too, so i mean. oh merlin /ACTUALLY BLUSHES A BIT??? -- you've got to be joking. /steps in, looks around. nice find. no, i haven't been here before, but now i'm holding you to your word. these better be the best fucking croissants i've ever had this side of london.

[joevanity-blog]

rosie-hunter replied to your post: what i though franny was frida what omg now i’m...

NRRRRRRR shh pls. pls. don’t make jacquina feel bad.

OK I WON'T i'm just a bit confused

does indie not play franny anymore omg i am like so behind on everything

[joevanity-blog]

i am … so upset right now. /shakes his head at joe but he can’t stop smiling like a derp.) i may look happy right now but i’m actually feeling quite dejected. erm … bitter and black? i don’t actually - do you actually like your coffee like that? /sticks tongue out like aergh) i’m sorry. i hope that doesn’t make things too awkward for us. i could always take the memory from you, if you’ll let me ~ /snickers.) ah .. danke. so, boots or sneakers?

i really don’t think we should have a contest about who’s the better artist here. /points to self ; then waves hand.) after you, my … dear .. prince? hey, why am i the lady? /walks along.) anyway, i know a good place here.

hey, don't worry about it, alright? we'll get you a nice gal or guy to canoodle with and snog your miseries away. /blink. well, i don't do hugs, so stop looking at me like that. wow, you do remember. i'm touched. /except said as deadpan as possible. i do, i have the opposite of a sweet tooth. what, like a memory charm? i wouldn't trust you with a charm if it we were the last two people on earth and i had a gaping hole in my chest. so thanks, but no thanks. boots. is that even a question?

you're right, we shouldn't, because i'm clearly better. /scoffs at adrian's point at self. ha, right, in your dreams. because you're more lady-like, m'lady. be honest, can you imagine me in a dress? ...actually, don't answer that. well, then, what're we loitering about for? let's go go go!

[joevanity-blog]

oh. geeze. i don’t know how to take this, joe. i really thought we had something going on, ‘cause, you know, i don’t do those just for anyone. you shot me right through the ego. /laughs.) i’m sorry, i’m sorry. i’ll make it up to you. ~through coffee~ /wink wink nudge nudge.) i’ll do the whole thing but only once you’re mentally prepared because i don’t think i want to send you through months of therapy again. /rubs chin ; stares at him.) a … little. i’ve got no one else, joe. :C you’re the closest person i have to ask about fashion.

/silent laughter.) aaah, yeah. i tried. but i can draw better than you! /has never actually seen joe’s drawings, if there even are any fjhdj.) yes, but i can’t afford any fancy, romantic dinners so you’ll have to settle for coffee and cakes for now. /exaggerated wink.) 

yeah, well. /shrugs. sorry to break it to you like this, mate. /puts a hand on his shoulder. you're just not my type. you'd better. and you remember how i like my coffee, right? /black, just like his men hahahsldkgsdlfh no im jk. or am i 8). :| adrian, i don't think i could ever be mentally prepared for what i just saw. that was some PTSD-inducing shit right there. /robotic voice. i am here for you and your fashion crises, adrian. don't worry. you can count on me. /thumbs up with a really deadpan face.

/pffft. i doubt it. /no joe is a terrible artist too don't worry adrian. well. i can't say i'm very high-maintenance either, so i accept. shall we go, o fair lady?

[botanicalgardens]

Douglas Neitzke by Neil Kirk

[gosmoke]

Douglas Neitzke

[newdorkcity]

Douglas Neitzke | Tokyo Factotum

[joevanity-blog]

i am mortally offended. why were you smiling at the time, then? your face was lying to me. hmm, thank you, thank you. /grins.) i was thinking of maybe wearing a bra next time. because i don’t know what to wear!

i drew another picture for you. thank you. blue. 8) are you busy with work? i was thinking we could talk over coffee sometime. catch up, you know?

you moron, i wasn't smiling because i enjoyed it, i was smiling because i was laughing at you. and i'm the one who should be mortally offended -- i had to go through months of therapy for what you did to me. where's my emotional payback, huh? /SARCASM LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. oh yeah, sparkly bra, definitely. or i was thinking nipple pasties would just top the whole thing off nicely. well, why are you asking me? do i look like a fashionista to you? /kind of, joe.

merlin, it should be illegal in 90 countries to draw that badly. i think my eyes are still screaming from the pain. ...are you asking me on a date, bub?

[joevanity-blog]

adrian--knight replied to your post: flair: the start of something new

i anc’at mogfg ufck

same bro

same