a readers diary blog. its not about goethe.

he/him, it/its - i read many different things and talk about nsfw series sometimes (heads up)

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

x / x / x / account

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

(wakes up in cold sweat) MY ACCOUNT!!! MY POSTS !!!!!! honestly i just did not have much to show. might start putting my original art here ehe

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

the concepts i am interested in are varied and normal

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

(highly simplified) its all scheduled

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

!!!! FUTURE-ORIENTED

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

Char's Ennui - Tiny Review

-> link to the game's tumblr release post -> download there are many beautiful ways to create fanwork but i think universally we can all agree it is a monumental undertaking to create a game, no matter the length or whether it is a renpy project. so char's ennui is honestly outstanding; it has 18k words of great writing, the cg's are gorgeous and drawn to resemble CCA's artstyle closely, and it offers an original soundtrack even.

this sounds a bit stiff, i know, but it feels unreal to stand next to a game that has this much polish and love put into it. for a lack of words to describe my happiness about this release... it is just fun to read and play. it just firmly grasps your attention with it's writings tension.

i played it a little early and had the time of my life with it. masha just flawlessly captures the dynamic, the natural flow of conversation, and the thought processes of the characters. char's ennui is just that; about char's ennui. while the game is about how he and amuro try to perceive eachother and their place in the world, there is no real romantic atmosphere in it, you will notice, and it is not needed. as is the case with the two of them, they have something much worse and much more intimate going on. but also it is a bit yaoi. 100% of early readers confirm it is yaoi.

please give it a shot and also check out masha's art @reccoa or on twitter here if you are not familiar with them already!!! there is just a lot of joy to be found here :)

[reccoa]

Char's Ennui Visual Novel Release

Char's Ennui, a short Gundam fan visual novel is now available for purchase on my Ko-fi for €5. Set in a CCA AU where the war is averted in exchange for Amuro's permanent residence in Char's custody. Download is available for free to Ko-fi subscribers at the Basics+ tier.

Length: 1 - 2 hours Word count: 18k Content warnings for blood, mild mutilation, suggestive content

Download: ko-fi.com/s/23f747b83b

Download for Ko-fi subscribers: ko-fi.com/s/b97d1c9413

[reccoa]

Reveal of what I've been teasing (on other platforms) for some time now — Char's Ennui, a short fan visual novel based on Gundam Char's Counterattack. The setting is a CCA AU where the war is stalemated in exchange for Amuro's permanent residence in Char's custody. Releasing 9th August 2025!

- features Gundam-inspired original soundtrack

- €5 on release

- will be free from 9th October onwards

- includes some blood/gore(?), non-explicit sexual content

- technically charmuro/amusha, but only technically.

- will include scenario script for easier personal translation/MTL/machine translation

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

small mostly plavi textpost collection

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

(highly simplified) its all scheduled

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

i wont lie i am hopelessly emotionally dependent on the microbe

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

finished lamento btw, just didnt feel like finishing a post about it yet (though generally enjoyed it. will have to say some words about bardo transgender. among other things). started hirahira hihiru (AMAZING. THE ONLY PIECE OF MEDIA TO EVER GET IT. education tool for ableds?) and togainu no chi (i hate this place)

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

(wakes up from the longest nap) unlocked disability 2 in the mean time on accident uhhh lemme see if i have anything i can actually post here again. i do look at media after all.

currently in a state of mind about d.gray-man. the big lavi fever. terminal. kind of self-conscious i never posted dgm fanart on this account... blush

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

finished lamento btw, just didnt feel like finishing a post about it yet (though generally enjoyed it. will have to say some words about bardo transgender. among other things). started hirahira hihiru (AMAZING. THE ONLY PIECE OF MEDIA TO EVER GET IT. education tool for ableds?) and togainu no chi (i hate this place)

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

based on this drawing by uiro <:)

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

original

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

wow. lavi dgm. can you believe it? i did not think i would see the day.

this is info about me that hasnt been relevant on here bc i mostly only talk about dgm in private but i have been lavihandholder7 for... idk 15 years and more than half of my life? dgm in general is a massively important series to me and my favourite manga. i got into it so early that it weirdly shaped a large part of me and my taste in fictional tropes and aesthetics. its probably the fictional series with the single most influence on me. SORRY FOR GETTING SAPPY....... I LOVE IT A LOT...

and more than anything ive deeply adored lavi from the start. the past years releases with Lavi (capital L. you know what i mean) has been amazing and everything comes together so beautifully in the story....

IDK NO POINT TO THIS POST I AM JUST REALLY OVERWHELMED BY THE NEW MINI CHAPTER RELEASE. makes me more happy than anything. definitely give the series a try, if you want to! i will happily also provide content warnings or smth. it is rather dark sometimes! its so worth it though AUGHHHH

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

modding/chara building diary

just realized i can just post truly anything. this is sort of ffxiv posting but not really. this is also sort of enstars posting but not really.

this exists so i can look back on it <:) a lot of this probably makes no sense to most people, sorry.

uhh i was kinda into modding ffxiv two years ago. then i stopped because the community around this is full of the most unsympathetic people you will ever meet, and that was honestly just very demotivating. but i play ffxiv regularily and its rather fun and easy to mod. and thats illegal!!! btw!!!! (no one care)

so since enstars has hurt me one too many times and there is no hope for things to get better, i am coping (or not) and grieving terribly by making a seeker catboy who isnt really koga but has all the parts of him that are important to me and that i enjoy.

yeah idk if this is productive either. but its not doing any harm probably. ffxiv as a game has its ups an downs but i find the universe to be very very easy and fun to build around.

idk. im just having fun with it for now.

ive been meaning to make an NA alt and replay some of the early game at least (i started in... 2017? its been so long. man.) and this seems like a perfectly nice vehicle to do so :) and while that happens, i can maybe organically learn about the pretty-much-OC i am trying to build. but out of perfectionist ambitions, i had to mod everything into place first.

i have decided on a name but i ueuuueeehhhhughhhh >publically naming your characters when youre a modder. so i will say "W" for now. basic lore thoughts i knew going into this:

he needs to be a tia because i like catboys and theyre all vaguely gay loner nerds and incredibly hyperfixated on one specific topic

the Warg seeker tribe seems like the obvious and fun pick

i want a monochrome grey colour scheme + Much Teeth

-> game limitations classify those as keeper traits, not seeker traits. but i dont care!!! however that means im using a keeper model for all of this

the character has to be an artist. because the "i need to make art and i wont accept any other way of life" sort of mentality is precious to me due to how unsustainable and stubborn it is

-> i have for now settled on painter because its the type of art i have most connections to. also bc uh love and beast ref ig (I HATE YOU "HIDDEN BEAST"!!!! I HATE YOUUUU!!!!!! but its cute he was a painter for it, isnt it)

his place of origin is most likely the north shroud, esp the bit that got utterly messed up by the calamity, around alder springs. mostly because its an interesting place and warg must exist in the area due to the ixal

this also implies the warg seekers might work in mining these days Or have largely moved their residence. or they split up. i need to re-do coils

to support himself while his art isnt selling yet, i think itd be nice to put him with a tree nursery around gridania that i already thought of for my main ffxiv chara. i just think its funny if theyre ex-coworkers. that is all

-> hes creating incomprehensible symbolism-y shit to me. without people in it. but constantly attempting to redefine and depict humanity without humans. he hates drawing landscapes and portraits but will do so grumpily, if it gets him acknowledged and paid

because i am forever deeply fan of the rkg dynamic, the character must have a muse, which is dead, but which he clings to dearly for inspiration and emotional support. esp bc i dont think the guys that social otherwise.

the drama of him seeing a ghost that is no longer there but real to him is nice.... and honestly even practical. it might just be aetheric residue with a sprinkle of mental illness.

what of the muse? i dont know. a fellow painter, who couldnt follow that passion. obviously they must have met before. i have vague thoughts but nothing im confident enough in yet (i think a duskwight family of heretics could be interesting and dramatic but ehhh) ALSO I DONT THINK THEYRE ACTUALLY DEAD-DEAD LOL but i havent figured the situation out yet

-> you know in star trek tng when Q just randomly shows up to bother picard. thats maybe sort of how id describe whats going on

the muse W sees is a version of a person that is long gone, and cannot return. the actual person behind that might still be out there but they are not the one that left an impact on W. what W sees and passionately interacts with is a phantom that only exists bc his mind allows it to, it is a self-serving vision, at least to a degree. maybe comparable to what fray is.

-> W never actually paints them. he only paints emotions about them. (they were a portrait artist and it makes them rather sad)

which leaves me with a nice to do list i can work on every once in a while, like making the chara, doing sidequests in the north shroud, looking at leve and fish descriptions of that area, doing coils again. to begin with.

anyhow, to the actual modding part. its such a work in progress. but i have made so many small adjustments already.

got an asymmetric face UV base to work on

edited the face mesh, mostly to make the chin more broad and to pull up lower canines

translated the standard miqo'te facial markings into smth more dog-like in appearance, while attempting to keep their canon design somewhat intact

added some basic make up, as well as bit of a gradient

+AN ASHY NOSE. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING A MIQO'TE CAN HAVE

got rid of the ear skin

replaced ears and tails with a torgal body parts port WHICH THANKFULLY EXISTED ALREADY? THANK YOU RANDO ON XMA

darkened the eyeball to resemble canine eyes more

slightly adjusted the dimensions of some face and body parts, like the nose

got rid of the catboy tear lines. bc on dogs they look unhealthy. now hes not a dog. and they dont look bad on game models. but the association is there. this makes no sense really, it just bothered me personally

-> to do: definitely need stronger thicker brows. look up how that works now after the graphics update. add a bit of skin texture? a bit of freckles/moles? need to find out how to hide hair when a full helmet is equipped. also since the ears are attached to the tail, i need a version of the model that just has the tail, so i can kick the ears if i need to (impossible to explain. but what if he wore a hat)

i made a hair mashup for this because. why not. then i painfully retaught myself how weighting armatures works. bc i hate myself. also made shapekeys, so he can wear hats. but i learned a lot so its ok (crying) (thumbs up)

TBSE download bc what else are you supposed to do

added a gradient to his lower legs and arms too, to match his face, also added some skin details but nothing crazy

started making the hands uglier. this guy touches dirt and paint thinner all day. he must have the ugliest hands in the world. and i love that.

but its not enough. we have to go deeper. i have to make them WORSE STILL!!!!!!!! i wonder if i can just shorten the fingers or if that will mess up animations. hmmm ill have to try

also made a quick chest piece mashup just so hes dressed in smth for now.

-> to do: worse hands. maybe paint on rougher skin? i think it would be cute to add paint he didnt manage to wash off to his hands? hrmmm. also ill need to make custom earrings. there still smth about the hair that i need to fix (augh)

but yeah thats what i got so far. might update later on. i just thought itd be fun to capture my initial thinking process in case this goes somehwhere. i like being creative but im not that huge on drawing tbh. so i do stuff like this and nui clothing to stay sane while also engaging in arts and crafts LOL....