Avoir la foi

Do good. Die great.

[johnnalang]

Old times

I miss the feeling of heading into the unknown, not knowing what to expect and what to see and feel.

Nate-taken for granted na lahat ngayon - to the point na kaya mo na i-google ano itsura ng pupuntahan mo, ano yung mangyayari doon at kung ano yung dadatnan mo.

Hindi katulad dati, kapag sinabi ng Tita o ng magulang mo na pupunta kayo ng Enchanted Kingdom, tapos first time mo, walang google, walang pictures, yung excited ka puntahan yung isang lugar na bago para sa iyo. Tipong kahit next week pa yung alis ninyo, nagde-day dream ka na ng ano itsura ng Ferris Wheel, roller coaster, at kung anu-ano pa.

O kahit na ano, kainan na hindi mo pa alam kung saan, tourist spot na hindi mo pa nakikita sa larawan, nadidinig mo lang sa mga pinsan at mga kapitbahay mo: "Uy! Ang ganda sa Boracay! Ang pino ng buhangin sa beach, puti pa tapos hindi mabato!"

Ngayon kasi, nase-search mo na lahat. Makikita na ng mata mo sa cellphone o sa computer kung ano ang itsura ng Boracay.

Kahit nga yung simpleng kainan o restaurant; ano ang menu, ano ang ambiance, mahal ba doon o mura? Noon, talagang pag napagusapan ninyo na kakain kayo don sa malayo, maeexcite ka. Wala kang ine-expect na kahit na ano, makakain ka lang sa malayo - masarap o hindi, mura o mahal, maganda yung paligid o hindi mo trip.

Gusto mo pumunta ng Japan? Dati, alam mo lang yung Mount Fuji dahil sa mga books noon sa school. Kaya pangarap mo na pumunta doon para makita mo ng personal. Ngayon, i-goo-google mo nalang.

Rome. Pangarap ko puntahan simula pa noong bata pa lamang ako. Until now, hindi ko maalis sa isip ko na someday soon, pupuntahan ko yon - kahit abutin ako ng 50 years para magipon. At until now, surprisingly, hindi ko ginu-google. Kasi gusto ko padin maging sabik. Gusto ko padin maramdaman na maging isang bata.

Noon, ang astig lang tignan na dadalhin ka ng mga tao doon sa paroroonan mo kasi nakapunta na sila doon at gusto nilang makita mo din ang nakita nila. Sabik sila para din saiyo.

Ngayon, google mo lang - makakapunta ka na. Wala na yung "human part" din - magtatanong sa nasa kalsada, "Manong/Ate, saan po yung daan papuntang ...."

Noon, wala kang alam sa puputahan. Excited ka lang.

Ngayon, alam mo na yung pupuntahan kaya walang kalatoy-latoy yung emosyon.

Taken for granted literal. Everything is in the palm of your hand, ika nga nila.

Hay buhay, masyado ka nang advance. Ibalik mo yung kamusmusan ng tao. Ibalik mo yung mabagal na takbo.

[johnnalang]

01/27/2026

Happy New Year! (Late na, I know! lol) Life goes on padin ngayong 2026. Mas madaming blessing at mas madaming nabago.

Compared last year, mas kontrolado na ang credit card (thank You, G and wifey!). Meaning, mas konti nalang ang monthly dues compared last year (except Christmas budol at gift giving). We are doing okay with my wife.

Speaking of wife... yes, kasal na kami! Yahoo! Mr. and Mrs. de Jesus na. Nag-honeymoon sa Boracay, at umuwi ng masayang masaya!

Last year, plano kong ayusan yung motor namin ng asawa ko. Pero mas may magandang plano si Lord talaga palagi e, no? Yung PXC ibenta ko na daw. Kasi iba yung aayusan ko - sasakyan pala lmao

May bago na kaming kotse, Toyota Veloz V Variant 2026 Model. I am super happy and blessed na sakto sa lahat ng lakad at plano. Na-acquire namin before Christmas. So, gamit na gamit. Almost every saturday and sunday kami lumalabas para mamili ng pang-pasko at pang-bagong taon.

Isang taon nalang yung condo, makakapag-move in na din kami. Well, matuturn over yung susi pero madami pa kailangan ayusin. We are looking forward sa condo AT sa property na uumpisahan namin somewhere in Nueva Ecija. We are looking for a lot na pwede pagtayuan ng dream house namin ni Carissa. I am really looking forward to it. Also, since nasa probinsya na kami, poultry farm? Egg and chicken farm? IDK! Lord, Ikaw na bahala. Sunod lang kami sa'Yo!

New Year's Resolution ko siguro for 2026 is to take more pictures and document it or upload it somewhere na pwede kong tignan after a year or two. Siguro dito? Malalaman natin. If not take photos of everything na makita ko kung saan man kami pumunta, at least take a photo or two. I will thank my future self kapag nangyari yun. Lalo na at makakalimutin ako. I do not even remember most of my life, honestly speaking. Na parang everything is a blur.

Lastly, I do pray that all of 2026 will be good. Health, finance and spiritually - everything in general. Please be an awesome year. Magtatayo nga pala ako ng maliit na negosyo this year. Sana maging feasible.

Osha, dito nalang muna ako. Magkwento ulit ako sa susunod.

(wala din ako magawa minsan/madalas, ask ka lang - la lang, namiss ko lang yung 2010 - 2014 era na 12 years ago na)

[johnnalang]

07/06/2025

Life update:

Bayad na yung PCX! Yey! (galing natin dito, Lord! Iba ka talaga!)

Last month na ng GGives ngayong July! Another YAHOO! (last na tong GGives na to!)

Yung condo nalang (di ko alam kung ilang taon to pero G lang Lord kaya natin to)

Marunong na ko mag-drive ng kotse :)

Will be married soon (this is it pancit, salamat Lord sa mabait, maunawain at magandang mapapangasawa)

Will go to Boracay after wedding (penge po pera Lord HAHA labyu)

Will have a car this year (hopefully! Lord, bigay mo na samin yung Veloz thanku hehehe)

Tapos, move in sa apartment /muna/ tapos kapag ok na sa ayaw magpalipat na condo, edi dun na (panget ng EOP ninyo SMDC hmp)

Tapos magiipon pang-negosyo (para may passive income)

Tapos mag-a-anak (Lord penge po kami dalawa, para po masaya sila magkapatid thanku po ulit bait N'yo po, aalagaan po namin silang dalawa, promise!)

Yun na muna ngayon. Update nalang ulit ako pag nakabisita ulit dito tapos babasahin ko after 10 years, tignan natin kung ano plano pa satin ni Lord. O, diba?! HAHAH

Ikaw? Ano kwento mo? Kwento ka bilis! Makikinig ako (kapag nag-online ako ulit tapos message kita balikan natin kwento mo, ano, g?)

[johnnalang]

You saw me under the fig tree

It was year 2020, everything paused - work, relationships, the world we knew we were in. But not financial burden, struggle, debts, loans - you name it, I had it.

I remember the time when I have an outstanding loan worth of Php 8,000.00. And that time, Php 8,000.00 was too big of an amount (it still is) due to my low paying job. I cried every payday just to pay a fraction of it and its interest. On top of that, monthly dues, daily expenses and things that we need on a regular basis. Not to mention the occasional natural disasters like flooding etc.

But you were there. You helped me to be strong, you held my hand and you walked with me. Because I waited - patiently. I prayed - faithfully. I trusted - wholeheartedly.

I am very blessed to follow the life you have planned and written for me. I offer my life to you, Lord. Because by this time, I know, "You saw me under the fig tree."

[johnnalang]

04/13/2025

Ok, its life update time!

I am now celebrating my 1 year anniversary as a Virtual Assistant. And I am super blessed to have a client that is super understanding and super flexible to my time. That is it! Can't describe how happy I am but one thing is for sure, I am SUPER BLESSED with this client! So, if you are reading this Boss R, I owe you everything!

Ok, that is it for work - now with growing up stuff. 2025 is really a roller coaster for us-me and JC. But everything is sticking together.

We are currently planning the following:

June 2025 - Move in to our townhouse (JC just got word from the bank that she is approved, after that, we'll going to wait for the final papers and then the renovation before move in phew)

July 2025 - Buy our own brand new Car (Veloz 2025 Pearl White)

August 2025 - Get married

Mid 2026 - Looking forward to have our own business (food or cafe or a franchise of anything; important thing is we have passive income)

January 2027 - Get the keys of our condominium (make it an airbnb; for investment)

That is why, Lord - I am praying for these plans to be aligned to Your will and plans for us. Grant us our prayers, for Your greater glory!

It is just amazing - youtube was playing and guess what is playing: "Pupurihin Ka sa awit" and then "Nothing Less" by Feast Worship.

I am still in awe of You. Thank you for the blessings that are coming our way. Pupurihin Ka sa awit, itataas ang aking tinig, itatanghal sa buhay ko'y Ikaw Diyos! Nothing less, will be fit for my King, nothing less, but my everything.

[johnnalang]

I wish we had a normal family

I'll admit it, I'm at the stage in my life that I feel like this is the mid-life phase. And still, even though I am that "old" and "quite young" I still have that the question inside my heart and in my head asking: "What if my family was 'normal'?". The normal people who bond and spends time with each other "normal"? And I kid you not, that question didn't left my mind for the last decade.

I won't deny it, I get envious sometimes. I'm envious seeing families in malls, in public places – the complete ones, with a mother, a father, happy siblings, and all together. TOGETHER. At least, spending time with each other.

I also feel envy seeing such on social media, those pictures of families bonding where everyone is smiling, hugging each other and supporting each other. And do you know that one during Christmas, New Year, where families posts and says "Merry Christmas from our family to yours." I really wish I had that too, but mine is-I feel-different from the ones I am seeing around.

Maybe, we really all go through different things when it comes to family. But still I thank the Lord, because they are still there – nearby.

Oh yeah, it's been a long time since I last updated here. I promise, in the next post, I'll tell you about the other things happening in my life.

[johnnalang]

03/27/2024

I just want to say that I am tired of waiting.

I am exhausted by the fact that I am not productive.

I am disappointed to myself that I cannot land where I want to land.

Maybe this is just a test.

Dear Lord, give me strength to endure the pain and the sadness.

I thank You for everyday. I just need a hug of affirmation and reassurance.

Be with me, Lord, always.

I am giving my all as I always do.

:')

[johnnalang]

03/09/2024

I don't have a job, still.

Still, she stays.

Still, she understands.

Still, she has faith.

[johnnalang]

01/01/2024

First post of 2024. First of everything this year. Looking forward for more firsts this year.

One of the things that we are looking forward this year is our new condo that we'll move in last quarter of the year.

Everything is good. All good. Thanks G for the last year and this new year that is about to unfold.

Thanks to my love for giving me the life I want. And also the support that I need. This is all you mahal. Salamat.

[johnnalang]

12/02/2023

It is six in the morning and I am crying over Iam Tongi's audition at Idols Global. All I realized after watching it twice is that I wish I have a dad.

What I mean by this is: I wish my biological father is always supporting me and had this bond that is a father-son bond. Which is we didn't have or had.

He still lives, yes. And I am blessed he is still around. He acknowledges he had his shortcomings. He knew he should've done things he didn't and didn't do those he has done. And that, for me, makes him an example for me when its my turn to be a father.

I can't just imagine how life is today when he is a father to me, to my sibling and a husband to his wife.

I wish I have a dad growing up. Teaching me things fathers do. Teaching me grown up men do. Teaching me to be appreciative of fathers. Teaching me what is it to be a father.

Thanks for the church I am in, I knew a Father. A kind of Father that knew me from the start. A Father that knows what am I and what I should be. A Father that always has THE plan. A Father that is always beside me. A Father that is always listening.

I love you, Father. I love you, Jesus. Thank You for showing Fatherly love to me. Thank You for making my life less "burdened". Thank You for carrying the cross for me. I could, but You won't let me carry the cross alone. You are always there to help.

If you are reading this and your dad is still alive, send him a message. Tell him that you love him. It is just a little thing but maaaaan I bet he gonna cry over that random appreciation. If your dad is gone, remember the things you had when he still around. Tell him in your silence the achievement you have now. He's proud.

:)

[johnnalang]

11/12/2023

I am spiritually tired.

I am mentally drained.

I am physically coping.

I am financially okay.

Wala talagang balance equation yang tatlo na yan noh?

You could not be thriving at those for all at once. Pero laban lang. Hinang malalim. Next round ulit. Kahit paulit ulit.

Ito muna for now. Gusto ko lang ilabas.

[johnnalang]

10/31/2023

It is only today, I realized that starting tomorrow, I will be unemployed. I mean, not permanently but I hope this won't last. I can't be stagnant and make my fiance feel that she is alone in this growing up stage of life.

A message to my company that I just resigned from, thank you for the creative eight years. I am grateful for the learnings, experiences, talents and skills that I acquired over the years.

I can't think of anything today but I wish I'll be employed soon and the best of luck to my start up business.

If you may ask, what does it feel to be "unemployed" after eight long years of working at a corporate set up? - It is challenging, of course, most especially outside the working environment. The traffic, rush hour and mass transportation system for the last eight years? Each day gets worse and worse. Imagine eight years (two of them are work from home).

Yet, I feel very blessed in the way of looking at the most part - eight years of experience, servicing not only my own department but others too, making sure that things are in accord. And most especially, trust worthy management and people.

Now, just speaking of it, I am sure that I will miss Terry SA (TRC).

*breathe in* *breathe out*

I am now free. But not careless.

I am looking forward for the best, G! Ikaw na bahala. Tiwala ako sa plano Mo! Sabi nga sa kanta, "I'll trust in the One who sustains every life, who cares for the hidden and small. I'll trust even more when I don't understand for I trust in the One who does."

:)

[johnnalang]

10/20/2023

I am an adult.

I am today years old when I realized I am an adult. I buy stuff that is meant to be bought by "older" people. I mean, buying a microwave, a motorcycle, even bought a PC for my job is included in the list.

I can't expound enough how I am doing these but I know there is a reason why - my fiancé. She helps a lot in my life right now - on where we are and how happy we are to support ourselves with what we need and what we want.

I, myself, was surprised to carry on with these as I am not familiar with "credit cards" and "good credit". I guess, I am an "old fellow" that doesn't want to be bankrupt in debt.

Speaking of which, we are looking forward to buy a condominium in the future. So, wish us good fortune and the best of luck in our decisions.

*deep sigh* It is only more than a week to go and say goodbye to the job I loved and it is hard to...you know... be a jobless individual. Knowing that the salary isn't "passive" as I call it or other's may say "security".

But nah, it doesn't pay enough anymore. With the inflation and the market slowly moving towards total chaos.

I guess it is safe to say that the Philippines is slowly saying goodbye in using centavo as a currency denomination. I mean, look at it this way:

Increasing prices on basic goods and needs of people. And we ain't seeing vendors saying any amount ending in .50! Yea, sure supermarkets and gasoline stations has this centavo prices but still - it is not used by everyday people.

Yep. I am an adult - thinking like an adult but playful as a child. Not playful enough to not pay the bills and to do "responsibilities".

I guess I am gonna end this by saying: You too, you can be great, too. You can do things unimaginable that you were not supposed to do. You got this. I believe in you! So smile, put your backpack on and lets do what we are meant to do.

Good luck and have fun. It is always ggs in the end. Go next.

[johnnalang]

02/04/2023

I think and feel I am depressed.

Everything is just so slow and without energy. It feels like everything I do is dead - for I don’t feel anything to do it or just to carry on with it.

Only music keeps me going. As in. Whenever there is no music in my ear, I can’t work well. Sure, I can work. I can answer emails but to be “extra” is like saying that I should go out to take a five kilometer walk.

Or I am just tired? I don’t know. I do not feel myself anymore. I am not functioning like before. I used to enjoy playing DOTA 2. But now, whenever I open my Steam and open DOTA 2, a sudden burst of negative energy telling me to not play, do nothing and stare at the monitor for minutes is just a fucking fuck feeling, y’know?

One thing is for sure. I am not okay. And I think it is okay?? It is okay not to be okay?? I don’t know anymore. Feeling this for about a month now. My daily battery runs out fast. I don’t know what happened.

And hey, I am rooting for you. Yes, you reading this. For I know you also have burdens and weight on your shoulders. This too shall pass. Carry on. :)

[johnnalang]

01/22/2023

Yup. God listens to our prayers.

I always pray to Him this prayer and wish to have a simple home. I can’t even put this on words. He already knows what I dream of. He already knows my heart.

With an angel sent from above, He does make your dreams come true. It may take a while though. But starting from where He wants you to be, is already an answered one.

The road may be long and the end is not yet in sight, we’ll get there eventually. One day at a time. One step at a time. We’ll get there when we get there - as they say.

Nobody’s saying that it’ll be an easy ride but from what I can feel, it is gonna be a fun one. Difficult, yes, maybe. But a fun and interesting one.

I’ve never been in this place before. Never want to leave. Dreams do come true.

- jd

[yuyuuyuyuu-deactivated20230726]

I pray we get the future we always talk about having

[johnnalang]

01/21/2023

Hi there. I am back after countless days.

Let me start with this: I am tired.

I am tired of getting things controllable get under control and yet when God teaches me to not control uncontrollable things it makes me twice as tired fixing it when its fixable after the fact that is uncontrolled.

Lord, help me. Give me strength everyday. I want to be happy. Not problem free, but happy. Problems come and go. Being happy and to stay happy, that is a different story. Can I just scream to the world: “I cannot do this alone.”? That I cannot do things that I am forced to do? And to do the things I do not have to do but I need to because it is what others’ opinion says so? And if you do not do anything about it, it’ll wage war from here and there?

But, why can’t you just be yourself? Be the person you want to be. Not the person others want you to be? They need you to do this, do that. Why? I mean, WHY?!

Can I just start a new life somewhere? Somewhere I feel like I am happy. Happy to do things that makes me say, "Yep. Thanks G!"

Don’t get me wrong. I always give thanks to the person who is up there in good times and in bad times. It is just, it is too much for today. Too much that I cannot just enjoy myself and play video games for fun and destressing.

Rest? Yea, sure. I have plenty of rest. So plenty, I cannot rest doing normal things. Family, eat, hygiene, work, extra work, chores. As if they do end, right? So... rest? Yup, plenty.

Is this a rant? No. Is this normal? Yes. Is this somewhat and somehow normalized? Yes. *scoff* 

I’ll be back here soon. I have something else to do. Like, fix everything.

If you got here, you’ll also be alright soon. See you there at the finish line. Praying for your journey, too.

-jd