I'm Too Tired To Be Clever

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[videosofpeoplemakingthings]

Scissors!

[johnoneal]

And now, I'm about to spend a few hundred bucks on hand-made scissors...

[the-destroia-deactivated2016081]

[fishingboatproceeds]

John Brooks is 21 years old. Last year he was playing in the second division of German football.

After Matt Besler hurt his hamstring, Brooks came on as a halftime substitute for the U.S. tonight, making his fifth-ever appearance as a member of the U.S. Men’s National Team. His 86th minute goal gave the U.S. the win tonight.

His celebration was one for the ages. No one in the stadium seemed more surprised to see John Brooks score than John Brooks himself. Football is a weird game, and of course ultimately totally meaningless. But on occasion it is very beautiful nonetheless.

[buzzfeed]

Shakin’ my damn head at these people.

[johnoneal]

This is why I don't like people.

[johnoneal]

I'm Too Tired To Be Clever turned 5 today!

I've half assed ran this shitty "blog" for 5 years...not depressing at all...

[sandandglass]

President Barack Obama at the White House Correpondents’ Dinner. 

[yunmengdemonbros]

OBAMA HAS TOTALLY STOPPED GIVING A FUCK AND IT’S THE GREATEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN

[skeleton-warrior-deactivated201]

this shit was brutal

[opencult]

[johnoneal]

I'm not crazy...my mother had me tested!

[tastefullyoffensive]

[the-absolute-funniest-posts]

This post has been featured on a 1000Notes.com blog!

[atmidnightcc]

All of last night’s episode is online! Catchup before the new one fountain exploding emojis tonight!

[bananazacquiri]

How does the glove from the Hamburger Helper commercial jerk off?

Grace Helbig (via notsonormalcollegelife)

[vicemag]

White People with No Skills Wanted in China

If you’re a white English speaker, you can get a job teaching private English classes in China. Many schools will hire you without any prior experience, teaching credentials, or a working visa. Sometimes you don’t even need to apply for the job. In Urumqi, in China’s northwest, my writing partner and I were offered our first teaching gig at a roadside noodle stand. We had been in the country less than a week. 

“Want to work at my school?” a lady asked us, thrusting two business cards forward with a smile. “You can start tomorrow.” 

We weren’t sure whether to laugh or not. Was she serious? Neither of us knew the first thing about teaching children. 

“We don’t speak Chinese,” we told her. 

“No problem,” she replied quickly. “So what do you say?”

Continue

[johnoneal]

All that money I wasted on my degree...

[gq]

"If you don’t have enemies, you don’t have character." - Paul Newman

[deltdd98-deactivated20230414]

[johnoneal]

Shit is going down in a little over 24 hours!

[canyousonicme]

GOODBYE, SWEETIE.

[johnoneal]

[savedher]

I look incredible

[doctorwho]

Macklemore - Thrift Shop