[joieduvin]

01.16.2023

I’m not going to let my patchy-ness get me down or dissuade me from feeling like my days aren’t perfect, because they are. There’s a tough of romanticism to everything I do lately; enjoying the fireplace with my husband, cooking our meals together listening to jazz, going for a walk with a coffee in hand with my mother, talking to my friends over facetime. I’m sitting with a candle lit, my weight lower than last week and a nice cup of coffee while I watch blue hour spread across the inky winter morning sky.

I’ve been shopping on Depop lately! Finding cool second hand or vintage things is making me feel excited about strengthening my wardrobe, since I’m leaning away from fast fashion or even the more expensive retailers I usually visit. The reality is expensive or not, the clothing within financial reach to me is harmful to someone, somewhere. I’m feeling happy about second hand in a good way. 

[joieduvin]

01.09.2023

Writing at blue hour, which is by far my favourite time of day in the winter months. I have a candle lit beside me and the drapes drawn so I can watch the sky slowly shift from black to brilliant shades of blue. 

Today I go back to work. It’ll still be a challenge doing the majority of what I need to do with just my left hand, but I’ve become so much more used to my day to day routine that I’m faster in a lot of ways, and more patient in the ways that I can’t be fast.

Tonight my sister in law is coming over for dinner, and she, my husband and I will enjoy a movie together when the work day is through. Looking forward to it already.

[kissedbythevoid]

[joieduvin]

01.05.23

Things are in disarray but I am being graceful and understanding about it. The pieces of my home are beginning to come together, but there is a necessary unraveling that coincides with minimizing junk and finding new and permanent homes for the things my husband and I would like to cherish and keep. It’s a process, and one that can leave me feeling anxious and unsettled (like clutter having to remain out to be dealt with the following day, etc). I’m choosing to take deep breaths and remember that the disruption means calm is coming and needed change is a part of that.

Yesterday I was confronted with an issue I sometimes struggle with. My dog had a vet appointment at 4pm, and my husband and I had a late start to the day - meaning as soon as my morning routine was done, I was left feeling like I had no time between then (realistically noon) and when we had to leave … so I lounged around and got very little done.

The woman I am becoming recognizes the possibilities in every hour. The next time this happens I’m going to remember this journal entry, and choose to use my time more wisely.

Friends came over in the evening for a catch up chat. My husband and I spent a bit of time on the couch and he washed my hair in the shower for me before we headed to bed.

I’m really looking forward to healing my wrist as soon as possible. Being one handed is challenging.

[joieduvin]

01.04.23

Missed an entry, and sadly struggling to remember what I spent my day doing. Enjoyed stream time with my friends in the afternoon, though - that I know was fun and engaging.

[thecoldestgirl]

And I'm back with the madness 🌼

[thecoldestgirl]

[ihateiu]

[caife]

[joieduvin]

01.03.23

Woke up to grey skies and rain after sleeping in far longer than anticipated. I was challenged by my physical limitations and felt desperate to figure out how to continue working toward my goals with this broken wrist. At first I felt very defeated; there are so many things on my to-do list that really do require two hands ... but I am choosing to do what I can, and be patient with the things that require assistance or simply have to wait until I’m healed.

I feel as though I slipped a little with respect to continuing my journey toward being more soft spoken. I’m reminded that I need to be very mindful of the woman I want to be during this time, because it’s easy to lose sight of things and revert back to behaviours I don’t want anymore. 

My meals weren’t aesthetic by any means, but they were minimal. I’m continuing to lose the water weight gained over the holidays, so I’m on the right track.

[joieduvin]

01.02.23

I watched the most incredible sunrise this morning. Waking up before the rest of the world and getting to enjoy something like that is worth crawling out of my warm bed, for sure.

Today was challenging diet-wise. I wasn’t feeling well late morning and made myself soup for lunch, but ended up eating a lot more of it than I’d have liked, plus had a treat my husband brought home from the store with him. Everything balances out in the end; I’ll just have to try harder over the next few days.

Going to my mothers house tonight for a family get together. Grateful to be close enough to see one another with frequency, although feeling more than a little ready to pause the “family time” for a few weeks post-holidays…

[mad-masquerade]

[cluelessxblonde]

[aliceinwondercloset]

[synqra]

[joieduvin]

All the very very thin girls I know eat. I don’t see them on their phones, plugging every bite into some calorie counting app after every meal, I don’t see them lying their way out of food plans or ordering a side salad for dinner. I don’t see them obsessing or losing/gaining/losing/gaining and none of them hate food - people always say “I don’t know how she’s so thin, she eats a ton!”

No. She might ORDER a regular meal, she might eat OFTEN - but every very very thin girl I know does the same thing. They eat a bit and then stop. They make it look very natural; just a few bites, or a single slice, or a little of this and that, but never too much. They know self control. They give themselves a little of what they want when they want it and they know when to stop.

That’s the shit I’m trying to pull off. Fuck fasting and binging, I’m on that portion control, little indulgences game now.

[joieduvin]

01.01.23

Today was the final day of my relaxing holiday so I spent it curled up in bed playing my two favourite video games, sipping hot soup and fizzy water. I tidied my bedroom up a bit, but noticed I’ll need to reorganize my wardrobe again soon as it’s looking a bit all over the place.

Had a simple pasta and salad dinner with my husband, mother in law and sister in law. I had the smallest portion, only drank water (no wine or beer for me, please) and had one piece of chocolate to conclude a satisfying meal. I’m proud of myself and am feeling good about my first day of this new year ✨