harlequin

Dr. Harleen Quinzel || 30 years || Harley Quinn || Waiter/Bartender

[jokes-xn-me]

He had just swung his bag over his shoulder and stepped out from the bar. Another long but good day at work, although good was relative for Harley. He had only smashed in two bar patron’s faces this time, which the blonde counted as an improvement. It was a wonder the bar owner hadn’t fired him yet, but Harley had slept his way around with some of the rather famous and powerful patrons of the bar. So for now, the little blonde was stuck with this job, and so long as he didn’t mess it up anymore, Harley would be right on track for being a normal human, or as best as he could manage. The blonde glanced up as a shadow fell over him, realizing someone was walking up to him. “I ain’t workin’ any more. I just got off; you want a drink, you bother the boys inside.”

@bucky-soldier-barnes

[jokes-xn-me]

ersatzhero‌:

@jokes-xn-me

Gotham City was a treasure trove of abandoned buildings and derelict amusement parks which made it an ideal place for people with something to hide. Quentin was one of those people and within a long-abandoned theatre, he was able to scheme to his heart’s content. Remnants of plans long since past and those that had yet to see the light of day lined the stage. Mysterio was always cooking up bigger and better shows for his adoring public. If anybody were to wander inside of his lair they would realize that the man was a phony. Which is why Quentin froze upon realizing that somebody had stumbled into the theatre. He had been certain that his illusions would have deterred anybody from entering but whoever this person was had seen past them or outright ignored them. Mysterio hovered high above the stage, coating the seats and his surroundings in a glittering fog that obscured everything but himself. “Show yourself or face the wrath of Mysterio!”

After his breakup and Harley moving out to Metropolis to make it on his own, the blonde hadn’t really come back to Gotham for much reason. Of course, he was always drawn to it, as it was his home, but it was also fresh of all the tragic, horrific memories that plagued him. Not that the blonde let it weigh down too much on him. There were still good things about it, like how it still held his old costume. He had been passing through town to visit Red when he came across the abandoned amusement park. Really, it hadn’t stood out to him until he remembered he had stashed away his old costume in here, on the main stage. Harley had promised himself he’d come back for it, but with his ex being so demanding and him having the worst memory, Harley had thought he had just lost it forever.

Motivated by the retrieval of his old costume, the blonde jester bounded into the place, completely oblivious and uncaring of the horrifying illusions around him. For him, it was no different than what he saw normally anyways, after the Joker had made him into what he was. So, Harley continued waltzing through the park, mallet it tow until he reached the stage. It wasn’t until he heard the booming voice did the blonde step out from behind the popcorn stand. “Mysterio? That’s a cute name. My name’s Harley. Harley Quinn. Like the good jokester. Watcha doin’ flying all the way up there? I can’t see you like that when I’m down here.”

[jokes-xn-me]

americanvalor‌:

reed watched the young blonde who had his mallet in his hands, clearly this man was emotionally unstable in some way. he had all the clear signs of having some sort of psychotic breakdown and with anarchy like this, it was bound to trigger such an episode. he was waiting for the other to try and hit him with that mallet. “fine, it’s yours” he dropped the bag and let go. reed had bigger things to fight right now anyway.

“Nuh-uh. I ain’t waiting for ya to just let me walk up and then you pounce and take advantage of me with my back all exposed. No chance, hot shot,” Harley shot back, pointing his mallet at the other. “I’ve done this before. So you better start talking or walking,” he argued, The blonde was crazy, but not stupid. He wasn’t taking his chances with these heroes running amok. “You’re not taking me back. I ain’t done anything wrong!” He hated this, having to defend himself all the time to those nit-picky, demanding, two-shoes. “You got a problem with that?”

[jokes-xn-me]

americanvalor‌:

clutching his satchel, the red head almost expected the man to rob him next when he finally got to the bottom of the fire escape and jumped down several feet, landing like some kind of cat. “uh, just my stuff. change of clothes, wallet, keys, sun block. the essentials” he said, since he couldn’t carry stuff in pockets in his outfit. “sure, we can be friends” he said though he was distracted when he watched the other beginning to push down on the mans throat. “no, no.. it’s fine. i got my bag back, i’m fine - thanks” he said, not wanting to be some accessory to a murder. “i’m mj”

Grinning brightly at the mention of them being friends, Harley let out a gleeful noise, bounding over to MJ before clasping him tightly in an eager hug. “Friends! We’ll be the bestest of friends! You remind me so much of Red. I think you two would get along just fine, cause you’re friends with me now, and Harley Quinn’s the best friend you could ever have,” he sang, bouncing back and forth on the balls of his feet. “Harley Quinn, but you can call me whatever you’d like, sugar.”

[jokes-xn-me]

mutantsandminiatures‌:

Red flags aside, Harley did have an intriguing quality to him, and anyone who complimented Remy on his eyes was going to go far in his view. So when a few of those multi-colored stands of hair fell back into Harley’s face, Remy reached over and brushed them out of the way with his thumb.

“Oh, what are we doin’ talkin’ about some ex? Seems like you need a reason to forget ‘em,” The Cajun mused and pulled back to grab his drink and take a swig. “You’re special someone, huh?”

Humming softly as Remy brushed some hair out of his face, the blonde giggled a little, tucking his head down so the other man could play with it some more. “And are you my reason, my red-eyed hunk?” he purred, leaning in to gently brush their lips together slightly, before swiping away Remy’s glass from his hand. “My special someone looks like he could use another drink or two. So, tell me, how will you make me forget?”

[jokes-xn-me]

magikbois‌:

“Is that so baby? Well to be fair you’re not going to get to wear a lot of clothes with me.” henrique devilishly grinned, as the man kissed him again, adoring harley’s laugh and the it made him happy. “i’ve got one hell of a beauty to make sure he has the best birthday of all time.” the man hummed leaning into halrey’s touch. “it’s a penthouse just for the two of us, i think it’s big enough, but i can always find a bigger place for you baby.” grabbing harley’s ass, he pecked him back before carrying him back to his car where someone was waiting to open the door for them.

“That’s the way I like it,” he purred, still clinging onto Henrique as the two of them moved off to the other’s luxurious car. The blonde didn’t care if the driver judged them; Harley’s attention was solely fixated on his friend. He was a free man now; he could do whatever he what with whomever he wanted. “I believe you’ve got a lot of work to make up for then. My birthday was botched by a crop top,” he teased, only lying down on the leather seats of the car, staring up at his friend. Harley wanted him, and he wanted him now, driving be damned. “C’mon; I want my birthday weekend to be just the two of us in your penthouse, daddy.”

[jokes-xn-me]

magikbois‌:

“The best reason and only reason I need. I’ll stay if you ant me to stay.” Kyle fell weak at the little plea, heart giving way to anything the male wanted. “I promise you I won’t let you be alone like that anymore Harls.” he smiled craning his neck as the blonde began to pepper kisses along his skin. “Would you even want me to be your boyfriend? You’re gorgeous, and I’m just like this blob of dork.” he smirked before kissing. 

“I think I can manage babe, and well whatever makes you happy, makes me happy.” Kyle rose a brow at that, and smirked. “I’d love to see you strip for me baby, and well I’d love for you to take these clothes off my back as well.” he hummed. “God, you really know what you’re doing to me, you know I can’t resist your cock, harley.”

Harley let out a big sniffled, still kissing and nipping at Kyle’s exposed neck. “I don’t wanna be alone again,” he whined, before grinning a little. “I can work with dorks. I need some big brains in my life anyways. You know me; Harley needs someone to help him...” he teased, sighing into the kiss. As he placed Kyle’s hands over his bulge, the blonde rolled his hips slightly, almost eager to start the stripping show right then and there. “You want it? It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Since you left me waiting,” the former villain tease, only moaning as his next point to rile his companion up.

[jokes-xn-me]

magikbois‌:

“I’ll deal with the old man, so you don’t worry about a thing harley, just enjoy your special day. you deserve it, and i’m really glad you were born. just hoping you’ve heard that today.” stephen told the other man earnestly as he looked at the former villain, even if harley wasn’t really a bad guy, at least he didn’t see him that way. “yes you have me, you can trust me,” stephen giggled, as he nodded, blushing as the man peered into his eyes. as their lips pressed his words got caught in his mouth, and he let harley’s tongue in as their bodies pressed flush together. as their parted he was left speechless and yearning for more, as he pulled harley in again softly, and kissed the man with a new passion that had ignited in him.

When he broke the kiss slightly, the blonde was surprised by the young man pulling him back in for another, passionate kiss. It was less cold and forceful as his ex. No, this was more... warm. Lustful, sure, but Harley thrived under lust. This was something against the icy chill he was used to, and the blonde could work with this. Grinning a little, he leaned into Stephen more, kissing and moaning softly against the other. “I want you for my birthday,” he purred after they broke, his blue eyes sparkling a bit as he stared back at Stephen. “You’re my special birthday gift.”

[jokes-xn-me]

magikbois‌:

“Course not, why would I do that?” Julian questioned not understanding why he would need anything from the stranger for a simple spell that fixed his shirt. he giggled at the ways the man twirled around, before embracing the other man. “please you’d look good with anything and i’m sure you’ll look spectacular for any man you’d love to model for.” he blushed at the way harley took his hand and made him feel that muscular body. “gorgeous,” he smiled. “i am? aw shucks, i don’t know where to hide my face now. harley, and well i’d love to call you and i’d love to celebrate with you.”

“Everyone’s got strings. All it matters is just how hard you pull,” he purred, tilting his head at Julian as he snuggled up to him, tucking his nose against the other’s neck. He inhaled deeply, breathing in Julian’s scent as he continued guiding the other man’s hands over his body. “You know, I look better in nothing too,” he whispered lowly, the blonde grinning widely at the mention of celebrating together. “Wonderful! What shall we do together then? How will you treat the birthday boy?”

[jokes-xn-me]

americanvalor‌:

the blonde was… odd to say the least and not very approachable. maybe it was the morbid sense of humor or the fact that dai couldn’t tell if harley was kidding or not. but it was a joke, so he chalked it up to nothing more. “uh, thanks. you aren’t bad looking yourself” he said as he handed out some more supplies to more people. “just wanting to help people is all” dai had been pretty active in his volunteer work, so this just felt like the right thing to do.

“I know, silly. You don’t have to tell me that. Everyone knows,” he sang happily, twirling the water bottle around in his hand. “But coming from you, sweetie, you can always tell me I’m cute,” he purred, keeping his gaze fixated on Dai eagerly. Another good boy. Cute. Harley could get behind that. He was so used to the crazy, maybe he could have some fun with the straight-shots. “What a pure heart. Does that mean you’ll help me too? I can get into trouble a lot, you know.” 

[jokes-xn-me]

ofchaotics‌:

tim frowns, scanning harley with mild scrutiny. “i believe you.” he replies coolly, mostly because he didn’t want the former villain blurting out confidential information anymore. he motions for the pair to leave the store before they made any more of a scene, nodding toward the food court. “it’s an adjustment period. i’m not sure why bruce trusts you, but he does, and i trust bruce.” he wondered if his mentor was losing his mind, frankly. “are you hungry? lemme get you something to eat.”

He stared back at Tim before huffing at him. “No one ever believes Harley. I don’t know why. What’s not to like about me?” the blonde giggled lightly, before tapping the other’s nose lightly. “Oh, Bruce-y doesn’t trust me. He just trusts me more than he does the Joker. And since he and I aren’t a thing anymore, maybe the Batsy thought he could make me a brand new boy.” Nodding, the former villain followed after Tim. “I’m always hungry. Working really doesn’t pay well, you know. And you all think it’s crazy that I steal,” he mused, shaking his head in amusement.

[jokes-xn-me]

pirctesmile‌:

Quill couldn’t help to smile to himself, he really needed to stop being drawn to bad buys that look like angels. Harley was younger than him, playful, energetic and – basically everything he liked in another person. ‘’Cute on me? Nah, I don’t think so. It will look perfect on you though and it’s all I truly care about,’’ Peter admitted, poking the tip of Harley’s nose before pointing the opposite direction, to warn him that they were on their way. He moved his arm around the other male’s shoulders as he proceeded to start walking away from the store. ‘’You’re lucky you were stealing from a big chain, otherwise, I would’ve had to snitch your ass to the nearest security guy,’’ he lied between his teeth, a wide smile plastered to his face. ‘’So, a birthday crop top, huh? Fancy. What else did you get yourself?’’ Peter grinned at his own question, implying that it was probably not the only nice thing he got himself that day. 

Harley giggled, staring cross-eyed at his nose as Quill poked him there. He let the other man drag him away, since he was apparently his new boy toy or something. If it got the guard off his ass, the blonde didn’t really care. As they were safely away from the other man, Harley narrowed his eyes slightly at Quill’s comment. “I was doing just fine,” he shot back, before stepping up into the other man, wrapping his arms around his neck so he could properly stare at the stranger. “I picked up something rather hunky right here. That’s better than a crop top, wouldn’t you say?” the younger man purred, leaning into the Guardian’s chest.

[jokes-xn-me]

magikbois‌:

Being part of Batman incorporated meant that he had to cross paths with many of the caped crusader’s villains, and that meant there had been plenty of run ins with the king clown himself. Harley would never be too far behind his mister j, but now that was the past and he had broken from those chain that confined the man to such toxicity in his life. Stephen didn’t really hold resentment for any of the villains save for black mask, and that was just a personal vendetta for almost killing him. Still, he believed in rehabilitation for everybody, and Harley was no exception. “I really did,” Stephen chuckled knowing that it was a very impulsive move but he could never regret it. “All the clothes are you, babe, and we’ll find space for it, or we’ll make it. I’ll handle it, I’ve got your back Harley, I’m here for you.” the boy stated before pecking the male’s cheek. “You got me.”

Blushing lightly at the soft kiss on his cheek, Harley scuffed his feet together, scratching at his head to figure himself out. “Aw, shucks... You know you didn’t have to do such a thing. You know the Bats isn’t gonna be happy about that,” he mumbled. Hearing the younger man say that he had his back, that someone from the Batfamily didn’t actually hate him... that was oddly nice to hear. Tugging lightly on Stephen’s hands, Harley pulled the other man close to him, only to peer at him curiously. “I have you? I can trust you?” he said quietly, carefully flicking his gaze around, as though nervous of something. Before he gave Stephen much of a chance to answer though, Harley tilted the other’s chin before kissing him firmly and passionately, the blonde moaning lowly as his tongue slipped into the other’s mouth.

[jokes-xn-me]

magikbois‌:

Julian could practically smell the fear rolling off of Harley and he sighed, doing a mental eye roll as he tried to figure out a way to explain all of that. “Sorry to hear that, but here,” he began as his hand began to glow and with a simple spell he brought the shirt back to it’s original form. “Fixed it for you, and I threw in a cute little spell in there that won’t ever let the shit be ruined or have any strings come loose so it should last you…forever pretty much.” he shrugged. “Sorry about my little parlor trick from earlier, it’s just a little glamour I use to scare men away when they get too handsy or annoying.” It was true, but it wasn’t as if he didn’t have a demonic half to him that was bent on destroying things, even though he hadn’t fallen to the darkchylde’s trap or enticements in years. “The name’s Julian, and I hope I can make your day better.”

Taking the offered crop top, Harley eyed it curiously, flipping it around to see if it would glow up again. When he had heard about the spell placed though, the jester twirled it around, a bright smile forming on his face. “Really? No... strings attached? Th-Thank you,” he purred, spinning around and bouncing up to give Julian a grand ole hug. “You think it’ll look good on me? Fit my little frame?” the blonde mused, taking the other man’s hands to rub it along his body, just so he could have a feel. “You’re a cutie, you know that, Julian? My friends call me Harley, but you can call me anything you’d like, gorgeous. You wanna do some birthday celebrations with me?”

[jokes-xn-me]

magikbois‌:

Harley was such a beauty in Kyle’s eyes and even if he had aided his ex in the past as a villain, he could see the man wasn’t truly evil, simply a little bit volatile and misunderstood, and Kyle knew first hand what kind of crazy shit love made you do sometimes. He couldn’t fault the other for that, he was just following his heart, he just wished it hadn’t been longing for someone as maniacal as that killer clown, but thankfully that was all in the past. Kyle chuckled at the way Harley spoke to the guard, wondering if the man would even care to apologize to Harls, or if he would just begrudgingly take in the real culprit and call it a day. The latter was what happened, but that didn’t matter, what mattered was the man in front of him. “I’m sorry I’ve been away, but I’ll be around a lot more now, got a good reason to be.” he said as he looked at the other man shyly, a little blush creeping on his cheeks. 

“No boyfriends? Sounds like a good thing to me though, and your apartment’s probably not that bad, but you could always stay with me if you’d like. I’ve got a pretty big place thanks to the fact that I am a painter and I need the space.” he mused, feeling every bit of muscle lean and taut as harley pressed their bodies together. “Hopefully, I can make sure you are satisfied with what I owe you then?” Cupping the man’s features, he smiled before kissing the male’s forehead. “We can get you something, I’ll even make it a whole outfit or anything you want. My treat, and I’ll make sure to make you have the best birthday ever. But you’re right Harley is never droopy, Harley’s always quite nice to look at.”

"I’m a good reason for you? So you’ll stay around for me?” Harley mused, a cute yet sad expression covering his face as he gave Kyle wide, pleading puppy eyes. “I get so lonely, you know... Whenever you leave me behind... I’m by myself all the time these days,” the blonde whimpered before wrapping his arms around the other man’s waist. Nosing his friend’s neck, the blonde began peppering small kisses against the other’s skin. “You could be my boyfriend, if you stayed with me longer,” he whined, grinning at the idea of moving in and having a bigger space.

“Harley wants lots of things for his birthday though. I don’t know if you can keep up with that,” he giggled again. “Do you want to see Harley completely? I’m just dying for my baby to strip all these clothes off of me,” he groaned lightly, gripping one of Kyle’s hands and sliding it down his body straight to his crotch.

[jokes-xn-me]

magikbois‌:

Henrique came closer to his friend, and kept himself close to the man, strong arms wrapping around Harley’s frame. Wanting nothing more than to keep the man close, he pressed harley flush against him as he grinned, looking over to the store with a sight. “Sorry about your shirt, baby.” he groaned before pecking Harley’s lips. “Your abs will look great regardless, but let’s go do something about your shirt.” Cupping the younger male’s ass, he grinned as he picked him up and spun him, pressing kisses on his face. “Let’s go get you a shirt baby, and then you can have me all to yourself for your birthday, and well whenever you’d like. We’re going to my place, it’s big and all it needs is a beautiful man like yourself to make it actually feel like home.”

The smaller man giggled, nosing up against Henrique’s neck slyly. “You make up for my shirt,” he purred, chasing after the other’s lips with a soft whimper. Harley let out a gleeful sound as his friend picked him up and spun him around, taking all the kisses with a smile on his face. “Who needs the shirt anyways, when I get a hunky hunk for my birthday?” Harley ran his fingers through Henrique’s hair, only shifting his hips to stick his ass out backwards. “Is your place big enough for the two of us?” he mused, the blonde leaning in to kiss and peck at the other’s lips while his legs wrapped around his friend’s waist.

[jokes-xn-me]

capedaffairs‌:

@jokes-xn-me sebastian and harley

it had been so long since sebastian and harley had caught up. the last sebastian knew, harley was still under the thumb of the clown prince of crime himself. only, he had gotten a tip that he had moved to metropolis to set up shop for himself. tried to make a better living. sebastian had to admit he found that admiral, he fancied himself a rehabilitated kitty, too, though most of gotham knew that the cat was still more than capable of plundering when the mood struck. 

even still, given their time apart, sebastian had elected to pay a little visit to the jester. if only to see how she was doing, as she had no expectations. it had been some time since the sirens had been together in one place. following the lead he had received, sebastian made his way to a shabby apartment building, observing it from afar until he was sure he had the right apartment. when the time struck, sebastian dropped onto the balcony of harley’s apartment and tapped on the glass.

“hey, harls. mind lettin’ a cat in?”

Last he had talked with Sebastian, well, his feline friend was off stealing other great things from the city, doing what they did best. Of course, little birdies had been telling Harley of his friend’s new boytoy, while the blonde was newly separated from his ex. An interesting flow of events, it would seem. Harley had been trying to figure life for himself for the moment, and since he had moved to Metropolis to be away from his previous man, he hadn’t exactly had the time to make new friends.

So color him surprised when his devious little kitten appeared right on his porch. He should’ve known Sebastian was going to find him one way or another, though Red had probably ratted him out anyways. Not that he cared; if anyone was going to find Harley and where he lived, he’d rather it be his two closest friends than anyone else. “Sebastian!?” he squealed excitedly, opening the door to let the other man in. The blonde pulled him into a cheerful hug, holding onto the other tightly. “I missed you! How’s my favorite kitty?”