Dear! Good Lord, Jesus Christ!
You, entire throng of cryptic usernames and misplaced passions, have fallen into a mild yet elegant disarray, haven’t you? I return to find this rabble in utter despair!
@franzliszt-official : I left you with one job. ONE. JOB. To gently manage the steaming pot of noble bodily vapors that bubbles beneath this community like a Regency chamber pot. And what did you do? You neglected the juices! You let the melancholy ferment, the lust curdle, the mirth crystallize into sarcasm. Now look at this mess—Chopin’s ghost is sobbing into my upholstery and someone’s spiritually lactating in the question section.
@sigismundthalberg: You are—how shall I phrase this delicately?—an exquisite disappointment. Your instrument is modest. Your… other instrument even more so.
@chopinski-official : Oh, you gloriously wilting Frenchified daffodil. Return to us!
@beesonnets : You arrive like a scandal wrapped in parchment. You are courting with such dignity it gives my cufflinks vertigo. That said—your nails are a danger to upholstery and men alike. I like that.
@plunderherz : You magnificent pastry. The Cookie is damp. The Cookie is sad. I charge you—retoast the b—stard, by any means!
@sincerelyjennie : A Lady of finest linen soul, whose patience resembles that of a governess paid in pearls. Let no man question your nobility, for you walk among us as a duchess draped in self-respect and caustic remarks.
@jolyneee : Good gal! You hate me? Good. Your hatred is like a tart blackberry reduction poured over my ego. I lap it up, I drizzle it on toast, and I still outshine you with every sultry breath I take. Hate me harder. I shall only grow more luminous.
So now! Get up, dust yourselves off, readjust your corsets and recalibrate your expectations. I am back. I am caffeinated.
I'm more confused than a Greek watching the Trojan horses arrive.
