Lately I feel like my head will explode but then I see you and I have to pretend that everything is fine even when it isn't hoping you don't notice....

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@jona-ramos1
Lately I feel like my head will explode but then I see you and I have to pretend that everything is fine even when it isn't hoping you don't notice....
If I were to say "I'm fine", would you believe me?...
If I were to say "everything will be fine", would you trust me?...
If I were to say "that I want to be alone", would you leave?...
If I were to say "don't leave", would you stay?...
Those questions always fill my head wondering what you would answer...
I just wanna get high so I can forget everything I'm going through without a care in the world I just wish it wouldn't be temporal....
I leave without anyone noticing wishing someone would turn around to tell to not leave and that I should stay with them...
I wrote letters to myself to remind me that I'm not alone in this isolated place.
How come I never say that things I want to say.
Saying that you want to be alone but deep inside you don't it hurt so much that you just smile and pretend that everything is alright.
Filing worthless is a feeling you shouldn't get used to it but I'm contradicting myself cause I already get use to the feeling.
There's was a time where I thought I couldn't feel anything and when you came to my life you show me that I was completely empty inside.
I can't remember the last time I felt something lately I'm just empty without a way to stop my mind from thinking.
People write because they're unable to express themselves and others are unable to listen to them.
Sometimes I wonder would everything will get better knowing that it won't but I prefer to hold into hope
I'm afraid of falling asleep cause I think I'll hear you in my dreams remainding me of what I did wrong.