jonah

memory eating disorder ate my idea for a bio

[jonahsthinking]

becoming self aware is so fucking exhausting and overwhelming because I still sometimes apply the same logic to my harmful behavior but now I also know that it's wrong but I still can't stop myself and I'm going insane

[sysfreak-official]

idk man i feel like reblog baiting and/or general engagement baiting that preys on people with moral ocd and generally calling someone a horrible person for not reblogging a random tumblr post can and should count as psychological manipulation.

you are literally using someones insecurity (in many cases the result of a disorder or mental illness) to manipulate them into doing what you want. at the end of the day a tumblr post will never be that serious. this is a small pool within the gigantic ocean that is the internet. your tumblr post complaining about [insert world issue] and calling people horrible monsters for not interacting with your post and your blog isnt going to solve said world issue, especially when you dont offer any sort of resources for those affected by it.

not to mention that not everyone wants their tumblr dash to be flooded with a bunch of doom news about how the world is horrible and humanity is falling to shit and we should just burn it all to the ground. i know this may surprise some people who make "fuck humanity kill everyone" their entire personality, but a lot of us come to the internet to find good things to focus on. its not that we dont care. its that only focusing on the bad shit and preaching apocalypse or whatever the fuck some of these people do is going to fuck up your mental health, especially when a person is already extremely vulnerable due to mental illness.

if youre trying to spread awareness of something, do it with proper recourses. people will reblog and spread that, not your "i hate the government and anyone who doesnt reblog this post about me hating the government is a nazi" bullshit no matter how hard you try to manipulate people into boosting your note count for your own personal satisfaction.

tldr; complaining about shit on tumblr is not activism and if youre going to prey on mentally ill people for note farming instead of posting genuine resources then youve got some really fucked up priorities

[anti-willo-fukase]

Being disabled or neurodivergent doesn't magically absolve you from being ableist by the way...

[anti-willo-skywalker]

I don't care that the system community would be smaller without endos, I think that would be a good thing actually

[jonahsthinking]

there's something about me that keeps on giving non-human or mystical creature or something like that and I think that's in the way I kinda store our psychosis but I can't help making my other alters think of me as something godly-like? I don't even really know how to put this into words but sometimes I just play into it so that they don't question me much or else I'd feel the need to make them aware of the horrors. It feels weird but also good the way they look up at me and see me as superior or something but also something is telling me it's not right for some reason. I don't even know what I want to get from this post but I've been thinking about this all day and I wish someone would just get me out of this situation because I'm not strong enough to get myself out of it on my own because I keep feeling like I should engage deeper with this feeling but last time I tried I could feel my grip on reality loosen up. Also my alters keep viewing me as something sexy which uhm I'm glad but I have no clue how to deal with this.

[anti-willo-miku]

“why are anti-endos so angry/aggressive”

Because most of us are severely traumatized people fighting against the remnants of a hate group. I hate this sentiment, I’m not obligated to be nice to anybody.

[steviecopeland]

"trans men have male privilege" is just "bisexuals have straight privilege" all over again. it was a gross oversimplification then and it still is now.

[quastions-i-dont-ask-on-main]

"Do you want trans men to be treated like a different kind of men????" Hmmmm yea. They have uteruses and vaginas so they need different medical care. They also have high rates of sexual abuse and there's no laws in place of protecting trans men being physically abused. Like yea, we do need them to be treated like a different kind of men because they are a different kind of man.

[jonahsthinking]

idk it's like part of me is still in denial about everything I live because I got so used to having delusions that now I don't trust anything I feel anymore

i wish I could articulate more on how I feel but something in my brain stops me from doing so for some reason and I don't know how to deal with it

i feel so anxious trying to explain what I feel cause I feel like if I go into detail (in MY OWN ACCOUNT) I'll be perceived and that's BAD apparently but idk why

[jonahsthinking]

i HATE chronic pain GO AWAY SHOO SHOO

[jonahsthinking]

i feel so alone rn and it feels like I want attention but I know I would dislike it if that was true because I despise being the center of attention but I also need to be cared for

[bloodonvalentine]

"endogenic alter" THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

"i'm traumaendo because not all of my alters formed because of my initial trauma" NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

people do more than surface level research challenge level fucking impossible apparently

[jonahsthinking]

how do you guys deal with the "I'm definitely faking" thoughts? like I have everything written down for me to look at and I'm medically recognized but I still feel like everything is fake like I even think that about my trauma despite it being all documented like I cognitively know I'm not making it up but I still get the feeling™

[chimamire-tenshi]

Nobody should ever have to explain their trauma or recovery to a stranger online. Safe spaces shouldn’t be gated by forcing you to explain things that can be used against you.

/targeted at a specific syscord

[irid3sc3nt-void]

Cw: drug mention

A GENTLE REMINDER ABOUT PERSECUTORS

Persecutor is a very broad term that encompasses a LOT of maladaptive coping mechanisms. Not all of them are aggressive and angry. Non-aggressive persecutors are very underrepresented. The idea that ALL persecutors are aggressive & violent adds to the social stigma and harmful stereotypes surrounding persecutor alters. Of course, the aggressive and angry persecutors are also allowed to exist. This post is not about them and not meant to invalidate their existence.

We just wish there was more awareness for the "passive" persecutors. The persecutors that self isolate, the persecutors that are avoidant, the persecutors that deal with maladaptive escapism, the persecutors whose harmful coping mechanisms are more covert, the persecutors who cope through drug use, the persecutors who don't feel comfortable identifying as one because of how one-dimensional the media has made the term "persecutor" appear.

[coven-of-the-reverie]

Me: I'm making up the fact I have DID, I'm just roleplaying for attention

Random person in my head: hello, fuck you btw

Me:

[michaelsfreeblog-deactivated202]

Being a system is wild because why is my body responding to commands when I'm in front and actively against people pleasing