please stop i'm uncomfortable

jon stark rp account for the blood and glory rp

[starkr-archive]

Phone call - Jon and Robb - September 26th

[starkr-archive]

[It’s like he’s living with a lump in his throat lately. It’s hard to swallow it down, but he does, just like he’s been doing since this all started. Jon’s tone has the tiniest bit of hope in it and Robb hates himself for being the one to crush it.] No. They’re right. He’s… [He clenches his jaw.] Dad’s dead, Jon. And I don’t know what to do. 

[jonstarksnow]

[The word "dead" doesn't even seem like a real word anymore. It's been repeated in Jon's mind too many times to have any real meaning to it. Until it does.] That's...that's--how? [He knows, he's read the news sites, but the idea of a car crash being the thing to bring down Ned Stark is almost too impossible to imagine. Men like Ned Stark do not die in car crashes.]

[Of course Robb doesn't know what to do. Jon feels the same panic curling in his stomach, threatening to erupt.] I--I don't know either. Does...everyone know? Am I the last? [A small, selfish part of him hopes that he is, so that he doesn't have to have this conversation again, ever.]

[starkr-archive]

Phone call - Jon and Robb - September 26th

[As dark and selfish as it is, he hopes Jon has heard already. Robb already has to tell their two little brothers, and possibly Sansa too if she hasn’t seen it in the news yet. (He tries not to think about Arya.) As Jon’s phone rings somewhere in London, Robb wonders if the Night’s Watch will allow his brother to come back. It’d be nice, seeing Jon again, regardless of the circumstances.] Jon, it’s me. Have you… [He clears his throat, swallowing the lump that had formed there.] have you heard?

[jonstarksnow]

[The phone rings, and he jumps. The caller ID flashes his brother's name, and he almost sighs in relief, because Robb will tell him that the news sites got it wrong, that his father isn't really dead, just injured. His brother's tone kills any relief he felt, and he sits down hard on the cot, staring at the floor.] I...I saw the news sites. I...figured it was a mistake. [Pause.] Robb, it is a mistake, right?

[elanstar-blog-blog]

[jonstarksnow]

nights like this i become afraid [one-shot, september 25th]

Dead. Dead dead dead. Dead.

The word echoes in his head, over and over. He wonders, briefly, why everything had felt exactly the same—even if the death of Ned Stark did not stop the world from turning, it should have at least slowed it down.

Ned Stark pronounced dead, the paper reads, and that just…doesn’t make any sense, because his father was an immovable object in the world, his father was the sturdiest thing he’d ever known, and his father could not be killed in something as simple, as mundane as a car accident.

(He’s not mentioned in the article, his name a noticeable blank after Robb, Bran, and Rickon. For the first time, he realizes how easy it is to disappear from that world, and not be missed.)

Ned Stark should have been implacable. If Ned Stark is dead, what hope is there for anyone else? With Ned Stark alive, Jon had known someone was looking out for Robb, and for Bran and for Rickon. With Ned Stark dead, well…

When they had been young and foolish and left alone while their father went on a business trip and Robb’s mother was away visiting her sister, Robb (and, of course, Theon) had almost destroyed the house, while Arya cheered them on and Sansa locked herself in her room. Jon had perhaps contributed by pushing Theon into a table or two and maybe possibly into Catelyn’s favorite vase, which was at least twenty percent Arya’s fault, but he had largely just watched as an inebriated Robb and Theon had whirled through the house, a worried feeling in the pit of his stomach. He has the same feeling now, but a hundred times worse.

Not even Robb can burn all of Scotland down, he reasons. Even with Ned gone.

Gone. It still doesn’t seem real. The paper gets things wrong, after all, occasionally, and Robb hasn’t called to tell him anything, so it’s entirely possible that Ned Stark is simply injured and the reporters misunderstood. Robb hasn’t called him, after all.

Men like Ned Stark do not die in car crashes.

That, Jon Stark knows for sure.

[alys-karstark]

Phone Call - Jon Stark [September 8th, late]

[alys-karstark]

[Alys can’t help but grin, her heart pounding in her chest.] Let’s just hope it happens soon, shall we?

[It’s not fair that she should have to wait for politics to settle down before she sees Jon again.  What was the point of being powerful, of having money, of being free, if she can’t see her boyfriend?] Or maybe… well… I don’t know.  Do you even get free time?

[jonstarksnow]

[Free time is something of a luxury when the Night's Watch is understaffed and underpaid, and Jon doesn't really have any reason for time off. Not when most of his family is in a different country. Not when is brother and his girlfriend are accused of treason. Not when Arya won't answer is calls or emails even as it drives him frantic.]

You must be thinking of the police. Night's Watch occasionally gets lunch breaks, provided there's no riots occurring.

[He's wondering, as he has every day since he joined, why he's still here. He supposes it's some kind of honor, but his honor seems to be in question lately and he's restless, more restless than he ever was even growing up.] Just...It's hard. I thought I might be able to figure out who I was, if I stuck with this long enough, but I still feel... [Lost. Lonely.] the same.

[He winces and wonders why he said it. It sounds strange even to his own ears.]

[jonstarksnow]

[[1st November - Jon S. and Theon]]

jon stark throws theon's body into the river screaming "GO BACK TO THE GODDAMN SEA"

[jonstarksnow]

ready to party like it's 1984 [jon s. + loras] [september 8]

[ink-and-cigarettes-blog]

”You’ve got to be bloody joking,” he says, because it’s the only thing he can say. He’s being arrested? The fear he should be feeling isn’t there— not yet, at least. Neither is the anger or the indignation. No, Loras finds he’s remarkably calm in that moment; a change given his usual frantic nature. Perhaps it’s because he’s just so… so shocked.

  He’s being arrested by a Nights Watch member (who is a Stark), on false charges, all because he’s written an article? “No seriously, you’re joking, right? What proof have you got? Who did I assault? When?” He’s getting frantic now. The previous disbelief is gone, and as he begins to ask questions he begins to realize the severity of the situation.

 He’s being arrested.

[jonstarksnow]

Jon shifts uncomfortably, hand resting on the restraints that he’s still not even a little bit used to carrying. He’d expected Loras Tyrell to fight him on this, and tries to make his mind go blank. He has a pretty decent poker face, years playing games with Arya and Robb and months spent dating Ygritte meaning that his poker face had to become at least passable, but in all honesty he feels nowhere near prepared for this confrontation.

“We had an eyewitness report of you assaulting an employee of the government of Stannis Baratheon yesterday,” he says. He’s proud of himself for not stumbling over the words. He almost sounds sure of himself, and he wonders when he learned to lie so well.

He didn’t think his father would approve of that talent, somehow.

“Given the fact that you’ve been…a bit loudly opposed towards his administration, with the witness giving an account, the Watch feels there’s just cause for holding you.” He straightens his back, and holds out the restraints. “I can take you there in handcuffs, or you can come quietly.” God, he’s become a walking cliché, hasn’t he? “It’s up to you.”

He hopes Loras Tyrell doesn’t make him put the handcuffs on him. The last thing he wants is his picture splashed across every Tyrell media outlet. He’d kind of prefer his father and Robb don’t ever actually find out about this. He has a feeling that they might not approve of it.

Then again, he has a feeling Loras Tyrell is not someone inclined to the “easy” way.

[alys-karstark]

Phone Call - Jon Stark [September 8th, late]

[alys-karstark]

[Alys’s heart falters.  He sounds so lonely, and suddenly Alys can’t even imagine why she left London, why she left him.  It wasn’t fair that he should be doing the right thing, honoring the oath he made, honoring his uncle’s death, and get nothing but isolation and orders that challenged that same honor that left him in London in the first place. Sweetly,] Oh, Jon.  I can’t speak for your father, but you haven’t lost Robb.  [You haven’t lost me.]

Things will get better soon, won’t they?  As soon as the borders open again I’ll come see you.  Get a fancy new stamp on my passport and everything.

[jonstarksnow]

[He wants to laugh, because Alys may know Robb, may have been in love with Robb, but she doesn't know Robb the way Jon does. She hasn't spent hours staring at the text message: what do you mean you arrested Loras Tyrell. She's not a Stark, she doesn't understand that that means doing the right thing, even when it's not the best thing.]

[Robb wouldn't have arrested Loras Tyrell. Robb wouldn't even have considered it.]

You, back on English soil? I live for the day. [There's a little too much honesty there, but he can't stop himself from saying it, and just hopes she doesn't notice.]

[alys-karstark]

Phone Call - Jon Stark [September 8th, late]

[alys-karstark]

[A shiver runs down Alys’s spine.  How could Jon sound so cold?  Shaking her head, she refuses to believe him.]  No.  Don’t say that.  You must feel something about it.  Otherwise why say anything at all?

[jonstarksnow]

[Because that's what you do when you're in a relationship. Because he can't tell anyone here. Because he doesn't have the words to say how he feels about it, not so soon after the fact.] It was the best thing to do. Under the circumstances.

[He pauses, and feels it hang in the air between them.] But the best thing isn't the right thing, and I can't help feeling like father and Robb and--and everyone would all disapprove of what I did, and I'm worried that I'm going to lose them more than I already have.

[afirekiss]

if you wanna be my lover | ygritte & jon stark | january 2008

[afirekiss]

Ygritte’s already going through her options in her mind. Going back to the hotel? She looks up at the sky, a clear blue spotted by clouds. Early enough to stay outside and find something else to do, some other place to go. A bar, maybe, where she can watch the rest of the game and drink in peace. Or… she could actually be a grown up and visit her parents. It should have been the first thing for her to do, the first thing anyone else in her place would do after coming home — but Ygritte has never been like anyone else. 

She hears someone approaching and it doesn’t take her long to figure out it’s the same boy that had stopped the fight. She stops, but only because the ‘internal injuries’ sentence makes her snort and a spontaneous idea forms into her mind. 

“Ow,” she says, bending over herself and panting exaggeratedly, reaching out to grab Jon’s arm dramatically. “Oh god, it hurts! I think I broke a couple of ribs!” She clutches her side and looks up at the boy. He gazes back at her worriedly, anxiousness written all over his dark features and Ygritte suddenly bursts out laughing, straightening up. “Gotcha.”

[jonstarksnow]

She grabs onto him and starts moaning about broken ribs and once he gets past the oh God, oh God, a strange girl is touching me, a strange, pretty, possibly internally bleeding girl is touching me point, he’s filled with concern. Until she jumps up laughing, that is.

He seriously believes her (only for a second, though, and he’ll swear to anyone who asks that he never believed her). Honestly, she’s clearly some sort of con woman with experience taking advantage of kind men, so he can’t be held accountable for falling prey to her charms in the brief moment before she jumps up, grinning mischievously.

And that, well—that’s just rude. He had only been genuinely concerned for her wellbeing and she was mocking him. He was just trying to be chivalrous.

“Fine,” he snaps. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.” He sort of wants to storm off, not to sulk, as Robb would probably accuse him of, but just to give the girl a taste of her own rudeness.

He’s on the verge of spinning on his heel and leaving the belligerent girl with the pretty hair behind, when he realizes he’s followed her a bit further than he realized and now he’s not exactly sure which direction to storm off in. He decides to toss it up, and just picks one at random.

“You should probably see a doctor anyway,” he says, trying for biting but realizing that he comes off as a little bit pathetic. “And you’re very rude.”

He was aiming for slightly better departing words, but he’s Jon Stark, and he’s learned to work with what he’s got.

[alys-karstark]

Phone Call - Jon Stark [September 8th, late]

[alys-karstark]

[Alys furrows her brow.  After how worried Jon sounded, she thought something more serious was happening here.  False arrest wasn’t such a big deal; it happened to journalists all the time, didn’t it?  It wasn’t supposed to in a free nation, but the United Kingdom already proved itself less than free when it tried to shoot Robb out of the sky a month ago.  Still, it was better to be cautious.  Alys lets out an uneasy laugh.] Well, I wouldn’t repeat that to anyone else.  You never know who might be listening.  But dearest, it sounds like you had a tough decision to make, and you made the one that’s best for your people.

[Switching her phone to the other ear, Alys sighs.] The Tyrells are plenty wealthy, I’m sure they’ll have him out of jail in no time.  You, my darling, are a public servant and you were doing what was asked of you.  If you didn’t arrest him, why they would have just found someone else to do the same, and then the Watch would be short the men they surely need.

[Smiling, Alys has convinced herself he’s done the right thing, but then she pauses.]  How do you feel about it?

[jonstarksnow]

[It's hard to answer that question, because how can he explain about a childhood spent trying to live up to the morality of his father? How can he explain the way his skin starts to crawl whenever he remembers what he'd done? How can he explain that knowing something is right in his mind doesn't always mean it feels right to do?] It's done. That's all that matters.

[He wishes he sounded more confident, worries she can see right through him.] I'm not going to stand on the sidelines and watch London erupt again.

[alys-karstark]

Phone Call - Jon Stark [September 8th, late]

[alys-karstark]

[Alys’s brow furrows and her brain starts working overtime.  A PR problem?  What sort of PR problem?  What’s Jon does and why is it going to be public?  And then, as suddenly as it started, it stops as Alys realizes she doesn’t really care what he’s done or what it means to the public, all she cares about is whether or not he’s safe.  Whether or not he’s okay.

It occurs to her briefly that this is probably why they tell you not to date your clients.

Gently, trying to hide the worry in her voice,] Tell me.  Not as your PR, I mean.  Tell me because I’m your girlfriend.  Tell me because I care about you.

[jonstarksnow]

[He hesitates. It's not easy, this conversation, but she deserves to know. Not as his PR, but as his girlfriend. Possibly ex, by the time this is over.] I arrested Loras Tyrell on the grounds that he attacked someone but...he didn't. He wrote an article about Stannis Baratheon and everything is already difficult to control -- the Night's Watch needs men and I -- I think I can trade Loras Tyrell for them.

Christ, it sounds awful when I say it out loud.

[alys-karstark]

Phone Call - Jon Stark [September 8th, late]

[alys-karstark]

Loras Tyrell?  [Alys hopes she misheard him.  While she certainly doesn’t trust the Tyrells, they had been forthcoming with information in regards to Sansa’s interview disaster a few weeks earlier, they seemed completely unwilling to put themselves on the line to stop it, but even a partial ally was better than none at all.]  The reporter?

[She’s intrigued, she must admit, though a little bit worried as well.  The Tyrells were rich, powerful, too.  She doesn’t want Jon making enemies of rich and powerful people if he can help it.  Not while he’s so far from her.]  What did he do?

[jonstarksnow]

[And there comes the question Jon dreads. He's lied to everyone, to his brothers, biological and not, if just by omission, but this is Alys. And he...well, he won't go as far as to use that word, but he really likes Alys.] It's...complicated.

[So. To tell the truth or to lie. The decision is not an easy one.] I think we might end up with a PR problem down the line.

[alys-karstark]

Phone Call - Jon Stark [September 8th, late]

[alys-karstark]

[Her stomach flutters pleasantly and Alys finds herself smiling unconsciously as she leans against the marble countertop.]  Forgotten you, how could I ever, with you putting yourself in danger every day, working so hard for the citizens of London.  It’s you that’s forgotten me, wasting away up North.

[Now, as always, her instinct is to tell him to give it up, to come home, to come North to his family, to her, but she can’t.  She knows what it’s like to be told to give up on the thing you’ve dedicated yourself to when you’ve only just begun for someone else’s comfort, and she won’t do that to him.]  Tell me; how have you been unappreciated by those rascal Englishmen today?

[jonstarksnow]

[Her voice anchors him, pulling him back from thoughts on the chaos of today, of bad decisions and even worse choices. It's almost laughable to him that she could think he would forget her: his thoughts turn to her, and his brother, more often than he would like. He wonders if she'd still think he was a hero if he told her what he did. He wonders if he'll ever find out.] Well, doubtless Loras Tyrell's neighbors did not appreciate the racket he and his husband made as I arrested him, so I suppose there's that.

[If he frames it like that, maybe she won't worry about him. He hopes so, anyway.]

[alys-karstark]

Phone Call - Jon Stark [September 8th, late]

[Alys taps her fingers absently against the countertop as the phone rings.  She’s not quite sure where Dacey is, around, somewhere, but not in the kitchen, which she’s glad of.  For some reason her bedroom has terrible reception and it’s been a week since she’s talked to Jon.  Not that she has any particular reason for calling, but she misses his voice, silly as it is.  Once he picks up, Alys’s voice naturally gets cheerier, just knowing he’s on the other end of the line.]  Hello, stranger.

[jonstarksnow]

[Jon sees the name flashing up on the screen and runs a hand through his hair. It's been an uncomfortable day, to say the least, and he allows himself this moment to talk to his girlfriend. He's allowed this, at least.] Alys Karstark, as I live and breathe. I was starting to think you'd forgotten me.

[starkr-archive]

Text - Jon Stark - September 9th

[starkr-archive]

Message: This is not cryptic and full of suspense at all…

Message: You don’t, I guess. Sorry.

Message: Just stay out of trouble, if possible. Remember Uncle B

Message: You can talk to me though. I’m your brother. If not me, who else?

[jonstarksnow]

Message: Well, there's Alys. Arya. Father. I could talk to Ghost as well, he's a good listener.

Message: I'm pretty sure this is the pot telling the kettle to stay out of trouble, brother.

[starkr-archive]

Text - Jon Stark - September 9th

[starkr-archive]

Message: What the fuck are you talki

Message: What? 

Message: What’s going on? 

Message: I don’t want to interfere with your job, Jon. But I’ve been sort of talking to Tyrell lately and he’s tried to help us. 

[jonstarksnow]

Message: London's barely under control as it is

Message: I wish I could ask you

Message: Stannis Baratheon isn't as bad as

Message: How do you know when you're doing the right thing?