Sometimes It's Best To Just Not Say Anything
Ok, that’s the post. Good advice, right? No? Well, it is sometimes.
I used to be a big Facebook person. It’s not that I don’t like Facebook anymore, or that it isn’t cool, but there’s a ton of drama on there. Someone is always complaining or ranting about something. Inevitably once a week I see someone complain about a co-worker. Around once a month I see the “my boss sucks and is a complete jerk” post. Then we have the parental experts who boldly proclaim that any parent who doesn’t do what they do is wrong and should be jailed. Vaccines, anyone? How about venting about that conversation you had where someone completely demeaned your value as a human being either professionally or creatively, and you let the whole world know about the injustices of the (fill in your industry, passion or creative niche here) world. Yeah, I was guilty of that one not long ago.
The ability to exercise our first amendment right through a few short (or long) sentences in a post has become the ultimate intoxication, and most of us don’t even realize it. This newly found “ability” we have feeds our desire to hear and be heard, and for those of us who would never otherwise have the venue to speak and be listened to, it has created, well, a monster. It feels good to air your frustrations in public, and sometimes, even your dirty laundry. People say things that they would almost NEVER otherwise say in any where else, but Facebook all of a sudden gives people the digital “liquid courage” to just tap away on the keyboard and say anything they want. It’s the ultimate display of low self-control. “But it could affect people!” you say. “I just needed to get that off my chest” you declare… Seriously?
Well, here’s my advice. Stop. Just stop. For real. Most people are annoyed by your rants, witty commentary, and sometimes just plain indecency. Honestly, you’re wasting tons of time putting in all that energy, even if it is for what you think is a good cause. In an effort to not be hypocritical, I should probably stop writing this post now, because that’s technically what I’m doing, but then I would have wasted all these words. Ok, so I have a solution. I’ll stop ranting about people ranting if you just consider the following words of advice:
Before you put up that next tweet, or go off on that next post, why not try using this filter instead? Here are four questions to consider:
1.) Am I gaining influence or losing influence if I post this? Most people never even consider the implications.
2.) Am I leveraging my position in my (organization / community / tribe / group of friends / church / school) to do good? Some people have a powerful voice on social media. Positive influence is like money in the bank when it comes to making a difference, and really being a positive catalyst for meaningful change. That leads me to my next question:
3.) Am I making a point, or making a difference? Andy Stanley, a famous leader and speaker, once challenged me with that question. You can rarely do both, so what do you ultimately want to do?
4.) Are the benefits of saying what you are about to say worth the risk of damaging your reputation? If so, do you even care?
I’ve never seen anyone make a lasting difference by being a jerk. I think the best way to fix all the things that make you angry is just to set the example. Don’t go off on social media. It really does make you look like fascist jerk most of the time, and that’s being kind. Sometimes, it’s best to just not say anything.
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