I chose the title Progress simply because that is what life is about. I recently left my job and quit my degree to open a Nutrition Club, Peak Nutrition. I am a Wellness Coach in the Oklahoma City. area constantly learning and soaking up information to better serve my friends, family and clients. It is in the end, all about progress =)
When the mind has a tendency to dream, it is a mistake to keep dreams away from it, to ration its dreams. So long as you distract your mind from its dreams, it will not know them for what they are; you will always be being taken in by the appearance of things, because you will not have grasped their true nature. If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time. One must have a thorough understanding of one. -Marcel Proust
A year and 8 months ago today, 'against all odds' I walked out of Valir Rehabilitation center. This is gong to go from serious to joke rq... in a bit.... For those that aren't aware I was violently rear ended where I was knocked unconscious for 3 weeks weeks and endured traumatic brain injury.(#TBI)
You may not know but I knew and I know how many of you came to Valir to sit and be told things. Everyone in my life has been 'battling' this rehab process with me in their own way. I love you and I'm grateful for each of you.
There are those emotions I'll talk about in a bit that I'm glad you can't see me right now lol.
The damage is/was frontal lobe. This is my account this far.
I have very little(none) filter between my brain and mouth. Thats been an issue my entire life but given the friends and parental figures I was blessed with I somehow managed to not be stabbed because of something I said. At least you can expect me to say it in a linguistically creative way...
I respond to perceived attacks on myself, my character, my ethics, my family and my business relentlessly.
I don't know when to stop, like, relentlessly. Bring proof or I don't have time and I'll "creative linguistically", hurt your feelings.
On the other side of the coin, I'm more vulnerable, open and definitely more outwardly emotional than I've ever been. By...a lot.....
If you've read this far I acknowledge and thank you for taking time to do so.
Its possible I've said to you "I don't deserve this from you."
Me being right or wrong is irrelevant... I probably used my gift with words to hurt you. You didn't and don't deserve that from me. Many of you know me as someone who works diligently to speak life into people. Every side has two coins ;).
Joking aside, if I've said something that's hurt you or someone you love... ever.... From the depth of my being. I apologize.
Two days ago, I noticed tremendous improvement in my left foot. The pinky and ring toe are just fleshy peg leg attachments. I stand a lot every single day and sometimes my left foot has been a little tingly. I've been having to put my ego on the shelf to even show up to Kudos Jiujitsu Okc to hit the bag as 'therapy'. Now add Thunder Muay Thai and Nutrition to the list of things that attack my ego while the people simultaneously build my mind and body... I'm 9 months into the year and my only physical declaration was to jump rope this year. A goal without a deadline is a wish right? I know how much of a gap must be cleared for this to happen. For every peak, there are at least two vallies.
As I was writing this my friend Karren among my most regular of regulars comes in and we begin discussing mountain climbing for some reason... Pikes Peak comes up.
Here are the bullet points.
- The best view isn't always from the peak.
- The vallies represent consistency and commitment to the direction. The vision of what's possible at the end.
- The best view is often in the trees along the journey...
- Vallies are often times. overgrown with these trees.
‐ Don't get lost in the view along the way as spectacular as it may be.
- "Hold the vision, trust the process".
- You've gotta walk whether you like it or not.
- You don't arrive atop a peak on accident.
- I'm my competition.
"-I pulled up to the scene with some feelin missin, middle toe up to my competition." -Me
My disciplines, mind body and spirit are why I'm blessed to still be here. Disciplines, not accidents.
I was shockingly surprised by how very good this is...
This is an honest, open story from a young woman about her marriage. There are some powerful truths spoken here, worthy of notice and reflection. If you’re married, have ever been married, or plan on getting married eventually, this is for you.
From Tickld via Reddit:
My “Aha Moment” happened because of a package of hamburger meat. I asked my husband to stop by the store to pick up a few things for dinner, and when he got home, he plopped the bag on the counter. I started pulling things out of the bag, and realized he’d gotten the 70/30 hamburger meat – which means it’s 70% lean and 30% fat.
I asked, “What’s this?”
“Hamburger meat,” he replied, slightly confused.
“You didn’t get the right kind,” I said.
“I didn’t?” He replied with his brow furrowed. ” Was there some other brand you wanted or something?”
“No. You’re missing the point, ” I said. “You got the 70/30. I always get at least the 80/20.”
He laughed. “Oh. That’s all? I thought I’d really messed up or something.”
That’s how it started. I launched into him. I berated him for not being smarter. Why would he not get the more healthy option? Did he even read the labels? Why can’t I trust him? Do I need to spell out every little thing for him in minute detail so he gets it right? Also, and the thing I was probably most offended by, why wasn’t he more observant? How could he not have noticed over the years what I always get? Does he not pay attention to anything I do?
I suddenly felt terrible. And embarrassed for myself. He was right. It really wasn’t anything to get bent out of shape over. And there I was doing just that. Over a silly package of hamburger meat that he dutifully picked up from the grocery store just like I asked. If I had specific requirements, I should have been clearer. I didn’t know how to gracefully extract myself from the conversation without coming across like I have some kind of split personality, so I just mumbled something like, “Yeah. I guess we’ll make do with this. I’m going to start dinner.”
He seemed relieved it was over and he left the kitchen.
And then I sat there and thought long and hard about what I’d just done. And what I’d been doing to him for years, probably. The “hamburger meat moment,” as I’ve come to call it, certainly wasn’t the first time I scolded him for not doing something the way I thought it should be done. He was always putting something away in the wrong place. Or leaving something out. Or neglecting to do something altogether. And I was always right there to point it out to him.
Why do I do that? How does it benefit me to constantly belittle my husband? The man that I’ve taken as my partner in life. The father of my children. The guy I want to have by my side as I grow old. Why do I do what women are so often accused of, and try to change the way he does every little thing? Do I feel like I’m accomplishing something? Clearly not if I feel I have to keep doing it. Why do I think it’s reasonable to expect him to remember everything I want and do it just that way? The instances in which he does something differently, does it mean he’s wrong? When did “my way” become “the only way?” When did it become okay to constantly correct him and lecture him and point out every little thing I didn’t like as if he were making some kind of mistake?
And how does it benefit him? Does it make him think, “Wow! I’m sure glad she was there to set me straight?” I highly doubt it. He probably feels like I’m harping on him for no reason whatsoever. And it I’m pretty sure it makes him think his best approach in regards to me is to either stop doing things around the house, or avoid me altogether.
Two cases in point. #1. I recently found a shard of glass on the kitchen floor. I asked him what happened. He said he broke a glass the night before. When I asked why he didn’t tell me, he said, “I just cleaned it up and threw it away because I didn’t want you to have a conniption fit over it.” #2. I was taking out the trash and found a pair of blue tube socks in the bin outside. I asked him what happened and why he’d thrown them away. He said, “They accidentally got in the wash with my jeans. Every time I put in laundry, you feel the need to remind me not to mix colors and whites. I didn’t want you to see them and reinforce your obvious belief that I don’t know how to wash clothes after 35 years.”
So it got to the point where he felt it was a better idea — or just plain easier — to cover things up than admit he made a human error. What kind of environment have I created where he feels he’s not allowed to make mistakes?
I know now that what he means is, “this thing that has you so upset is a small detail, or a matter of opinion, or a preference, and I don’t see why you’re making it such a big deal.” But from my end I came to interpret it over time that he didn’t care about my happiness or trying to do things the way I think they should be done. I came to view it like “this guy just doesn’t get it.” I am clearly the brains of this operation.
I started thinking about what I’d observed with my friends’ relationships, and things my girlfriends would complain about regarding their husbands, and I realized that I wasn’t alone. Somehow, too many women have fallen into the belief that Wife Always Knows Best. There’s even a phrase to reinforce it: “Happy wife, happy life.” That doesn’t leave a lot of room for his opinions, does it?
It’s an easy stereotype to buy into. Look at the media. Movies, TV, advertisements – they’re all filled with images of hapless husbands and clever wives. He can’t cook. He can’t take care of the kids. If you send him out to get three things, he’ll come back with two — and they’ll both be wrong. We see it again and again.
What this constant nagging and harping does is send a message to our husbands that says “we don’t respect you. We don’t think you’re smart enough to do things right. We expect you to mess up. And when you do, you’ll be called out on it swiftly and without reservation.” Given this kind of negative reinforcement over time, he feels like nothing he can do is right (in your eyes). If he’s confident with himself and who he is, he’ll come to resent you. If he’s at all unsure about himself, he’ll start to believe you, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Neither one is a desirable, beneficial outcome to you, him or the marriage.
Did my husband do the same to me? Just as I’m sure there are untold numbers of women who don’t ever do this kind of thing to their husbands, I’m sure there are men who do it to their wives too. But I don’t think of it as a typical male characteristic. As I sat and thought about it, I realized my husband didn’t display the same behavior toward me. I even thought about some of the times I really did make mistakes. The time I backed into the gate and scratched the car? He never said a word about it. The time I was making dinner, got distracted by a call from my mom, and burned it to cinders? He just said, “We can just order a pizza.” The time I tried to put the new patio furniture together and left his good tools out in the rain? “Accidents happen,” was his only response.
I shuddered to think what I would have said had the shoe been on the other foot and he’d made those mistakes.
So is he just a better person than me? Why doesn’t he bite my head off when I don’t do things the way he likes? I’d be a fool to think it doesn’t happen. And yet I don’t remember him ever calling me out on it. It doesn’t seem he’s as intent as changing the way I do things. But why?
Maybe I should take what’s he always said at face value. The fact that these little things “really don’t matter that much to him” is not a sign that he’s lazy, or that he’s incapable of learning, or that he just doesn’t give a damn about what I want. Maybe to him, the small details are not that important in his mind — and justifiably so. They’re not the kinds of things to start fights over. They’re not the kinds of things he needs to change about me. It certainly doesn’t make him dumb or inept. He’s just not as concerned with some of the minutia as I am. And it’s why he doesn’t freak out when he’s on the other side of the fence.
The bottom line in all this is that I chose this man as my partner. He’s not my servant. He’s not my employee. He’s not my child. I didn’t think he was stupid when I married him – otherwise I wouldn’t have. He doesn’t need to be reprimanded by me because I don’t like the way he does some things.
When I got to that point mentally, it then made me start thinking about all the good things about him. He’s intelligent. He’s a good person. He’s devoted. He’s awesome with the kids. And he does always help around the house. (Just not always to my liking!) Even more, not only does he refrain from giving me grief when I make mistakes or do things differently than him, he’s always been very agreeable to my way of doing things. And for the most part, if he notices I prefer to do something a certain way, he tries to remember it in the future. Instead of focusing on those wonderful things, I just harped on the negative. And again, I know I’m not alone in this.
If we keep attempting to make our husbands feel small, or foolish, or inept because they occasionally mess up (and I use that term to also mean “do things differently than us”), then eventually they’re going to stop trying to do things. Or worse yet, they’ll actually come to believe those labels are true.
In my case it’s my husband of 12+ years I’m talking about. The same man who thanklessly changed my car tire in the rain. The guy who taught our kids to ride bikes. The person who stayed with me at the hospital all night when my mom was sick. The man who has always worked hard to make a decent living and support his family.
He knows how to change the oil in the car. He can re-install my computer’s operating system. He lifts things for me that are too heavy and opens stuck jar lids. He shovels the sidewalk. He can put up a ceiling fan. He fixes the toilet when it won’t stop running. I can’t (or don’t) do any of those things. And yet I give him grief about a dish out of place. He’s a good man who does a lot for me, and doesn’t deserve to be harassed over little things that really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
It takes two to make a partnership. No one is always right and no one is always wrong. And you’re not always going to see eye-to-eye on every little thing. It doesn’t make you smarter, or superior, or more right to point out every little thing he does that’s not to your liking. Ladies, remember, it’s just hamburger meat.
This is incredibly important and people should take some time to read it. Anyone can be abusive in a relationship. Don’t let anyone convince you abuse is gender-based.
The #plan, the #philosophy, the #result all in one photo. My #team is amazing. I am so grateful to have so many incredible influences in my life right now. I am more excited than ever to help as many people as I can feel this moment. And yeah, I had to edit out Keegan's number, that's need to know only =). #millionaireteam #1stcut #earnwhatyoureworth #teamiseverything #integrity #teamjosh #team2scoops #peaknutritionokc #empowernutrition #momentumnutrition #herbalife #h24 P.S. that was my write up for what had to happen in 48 hours to make the cut.
oh my god i’m fucking sick of this generation’s mentality that your sadness is beautiful and somebody will fix you and all this fucking john green shit nobody will find you in a bookstore reading bukowski and want to lie with you and nobody will kiss your scars and you will not be like effie and freddie you’ve got to be your own fucking hero and surround yourself with positivity
This is my journey in a nutshell thus far.
113 pounds lost and an entirely new purpose in life.
My phone died today and I’m looking for new clients to help achieve similar results so hit me up if I’m supposed to have your number or your interested in coaching! 2147173583
