i'm a mess

rebecca / 18 / vaginismus click on "more" for links yes my url is jo march from little women

[josmarch]

am i crying while watching season 2 episode 8 of sex education?? maybe!! i was SO afraid they were just going to be like “oh otis’s [terrible] advice cured lily’s vaginismus but they are SHOWING her SHOWING HER GIRLFRIEND her set of dilators. and showing vaginismus in the context of a w/w relationship!!! and the fact that fingering can hurt too. and the venus fly trap metaphor. AND the fact that this is an extremely popular show with a wide audience who are now going to be educated about this condition.

[josmarch]

oh and the fact that lily is obsessed with dicks. like i get it sis.

[josmarch]

and it SHOWED HER DILATING

[josmarch]

am i crying while watching season 2 episode 8 of sex education?? maybe!! i was SO afraid they were just going to be like “oh otis’s [terrible] advice cured lily’s vaginismus but they are SHOWING her SHOWING HER GIRLFRIEND her set of dilators. and showing vaginismus in the context of a w/w relationship!!! and the fact that fingering can hurt too. and the venus fly trap metaphor. AND the fact that this is an extremely popular show with a wide audience who are now going to be educated about this condition.

[josmarch]

oh and the fact that lily is obsessed with dicks. like i get it sis.

[josmarch]

am i crying while watching season 2 episode 8 of sex education?? maybe!! i was SO afraid they were just going to be like “oh otis’s [terrible] advice cured lily’s vaginismus but they are SHOWING her SHOWING HER GIRLFRIEND her set of dilators. and showing vaginismus in the context of a w/w relationship!!! and the fact that fingering can hurt too. and the venus fly trap metaphor. AND the fact that this is an extremely popular show with a wide audience who are now going to be educated about this condition.

[josmarch]

hello friends it’s been a minute! i’m currently studying in copenhagen and saw this in the bathroom at a student cafe. the graffiti it’s responding to is covered, but it was something about using a menstrual cup instead of tampons or pads. feels very validating to see this in an entirely different country!

[josmarch]

haven’t been on here in a while (bc my vagina (mostly) works now praise the lord) but i’m watching the netflix show sex education and there’s a character with vaginismus! i’m literally crying while watching it. i feel so seen, especially because she’s a teenage girl who very much wants to have sex. the only other time i’ve seen vaginismus in media was on masters of sex, and it was a very different circumstance and was not relatable to me. but this! wow! 

[josmarch]

like!! they showed this! on the screen! they named it! and this show has a pretty large audience so hopefully this will help more people self diagnose/teach more people what it is.

[josmarch]

where was otis milburn when i was 16?!

[josmarch]

haven’t been on here in a while (bc my vagina (mostly) works now praise the lord) but i’m watching the netflix show sex education and there’s a character with vaginismus! i’m literally crying while watching it. i feel so seen, especially because she’s a teenage girl who very much wants to have sex. the only other time i’ve seen vaginismus in media was on masters of sex, and it was a very different circumstance and was not relatable to me. but this! wow! 

[josmarch]

like!! they showed this! on the screen! they named it! and this show has a pretty large audience so hopefully this will help more people self diagnose/teach more people what it is.

[josmarch]

haven’t been on here in a while (bc my vagina (mostly) works now praise the lord) but i’m watching the netflix show sex education and there’s a character with vaginismus! i’m literally crying while watching it. i feel so seen, especially because she’s a teenage girl who very much wants to have sex. the only other time i’ve seen vaginismus in media was on masters of sex, and it was a very different circumstance and was not relatable to me. but this! wow! 

[josmarch]

My girlfriend has vaginismus due to a sexual assault she experienced as a child. I knew for a while she had it but it wasn’t till recently I really began to research and learn about it. She currently uses dilators and we’ve tried to have sex once but we could only get about half of me in. She currently feels broken and like a bad girlfriend because of this How can I encourage her to continue to dilate without seeming harsh or impersonal? What can I do better and how can I be a better partner?

first of all i think you are already being a great partner by not pressuring her and doing research/asking for advice! i think you should just let her know that you are there for her and still want to be with her regardless. i think that until she is using large dilators you shouldn’t try to have sex again because if it doesn’t work it could set her even farther back psychologically, but definitely do try other ways to have sex that don’t involve vaginal penetration if you both want to! hope this helps :) 

[josmarch]

Hey I have vaginimus too and my clit sometimes hurts when being touched too. What is that about? Do you have any info on it? Thanks for being so open on your blog it's so helpful and comforting. ✨✨✨

i straight up have NO idea but i’m glad i’m not alone

tbh i think it might not necessarily be a vaginismus thing but just the fact that the clit has a FuckTon of nerve endings so it’s sensitive to touch...,,,,,i’m not a doctor/scientist but Potentially it could hurt more if you’re not super turned on and if you have vaginismus bc of a psychological thing your body is preventing you from being as turned on as it could be? just a Thought

[josmarch]

i used to think my vaginismus would never be cured but i've had sex three times with two different guys in the two weeks since i got to college (and actually really enjoyed it one of those times) so the ability to cure vaginismus isn't actually a myth, it CAN happen to you

[josmarch]

omg i had sex! like, for real this time! tbh it still hurt but it also kind of felt good? anyway the guy wants to continue hooking up which is awesome because 1. it will help stretch my vagina lol and 2. he's hot and i'm perpetually horny

[josmarch]

HOW DO YOU CLEAN YOUR DILATORS WHEN YOU'RE IN COLLEGE AND HAVE A COMMUNAL BATHROOM also i was fingered yesterday and actually enjoyed it whaaaaat proud of myself for finding a guy to hook up with on my third day of orientation (at a women's college, no less)

[josmarch]

i moved into college today and i had to meet with the main doctor because i have a "complicated medical history" and she knew what vaginismus is!!!! (she was like "it's a women's college" when i expressed my surprise) and she said the gynecologists know about it and are trained to examine people with it praiiiiiise

[josmarch]

i started masturbating and it's so nice to be able to finger myself and not freak out

[josmarch]

today my PT told me about a client she had who's my age (18) whose mom wanted her to stop physical therapy after she was able to use tampons so she wouldn't be able to have sex like how FUCKED UP is that how little do you care about your own child's mental health

[josmarch]

i have recently self-diagnosed myself with vaginismus (which is a terrible thing to do but it makes so much sense that i have it) i have been dating a wonderful man for over two years who understands me and everything... but i want to fix it and in the country where i live they don't sell the dilators... talking to gynecologists is pointless because they imply that i just "need to relax" but i feel relaxed... i can't even put on a tampon :( do you have any suggestions? thank you for your time

self-diagnosis is so valid especially since gynecologists don’t know shit! can you order dilators online? is there a pelvic floor physical therapist in your area? is there a vulvovaginal specialist you can see? that’s the only way i was able to get help. also if you're already able to get a finger in you can use it to stretch your vagina.

[josmarch]

I had vaginismus because i was terrified of pregnancy, now im on the pill and i use condoms and i dont worry at all anymore. Using 2 forms of birth control really gives u peace of mind :)

um? thank u for sharing? i mean no matter how much birth control i use it still doesn’t quell my psychological issues but