impossible things

I'm Sarah. 23. I have deep-seated fears of water, clowns and terrible hats. I eventually aspire to be either an audiologist or Audrey Hepburn.

[chharliekelly-blog]

Just in case I am not enough of a freak already, let’s add a tiara!

[firewhisky]

[awwww-cute]

She still calls him her puppy

[king-satan-nipple]

every dog is a puppy

[whatshouldwecallme]

Me every morning on my way to work

[selgomez]

"Every man, at some point in his life, is gonna lose a battle. He is gonna fight and he is gonna lose. But what makes him a man, is that in the midst of that battle, he does not lose himself. This game is not over. This battle is not over. So let’s hear it one more time, together: Clear eyes, full hearts…" (Friday Night Lights, Season 1)

[caesaretluna]

jon snow wears way too much

[loren-movedo-deactivated2016082]

HEY YO! ATTENTION ALL MY SHORT-SHORTS LOVING, THICK-THIGHED, CURVY KIN WHO HATE CHUB RUB

so you see that picture up there? its the best LUSH product ever, and I got that as a gift from a lovely friend for Hanukkah and I usually use it on my clean sheets to make my bed feel silky and smell like jasmine, its great okay

ANYWAY today I had the brilliant idea to dust some of it between my thighs where they touch and YESSSSS GAAAAAAWWWWWWWD my thighs have been silky literally all day, and have not even began to chub rub

thats right: no chub rub

so whats its deal? well its some lovely coco butter-jasmine scented dusting powder that absorbs into your skin and leaves you all nice and silky and basically even though today was like 88 and humid my thighs did not stick to one another, it was heaven

» here is the link to where you can buy it «

so everyone who hates that GOD AWFUL rash you get from when your thighs chafe, GO BUY IT, REALLY. ITS A MIRACLE. AND I SMELL SO NICE.

and for those of you who don’t think this is completely amazing, forget you, my thighs are silky and smell like jasmine

[loren-movedo-deactivated2016082]

I’m so pleased this is going around because its getting fucking hot out and this is important

[unskinny]

I get asked about chub rub remedies a lot, so hopefully this is helpful for some of you :)

[colorquietloud]

Kiss me Andy Brinker

[lindsaybluth]

[steveholtiscool]

every achievement in cinema history has led up to this moment

[leenikgeelo]

#that time that michael jordan retired from basketball to play baseball #and then was bad at baseball so went back to basketball #and in order to celebrate his return to basketball #we made a movie in which he teams up with 50 year old cartoon characters #to defeat the space aliens who magically stole the mojo of other famous basketball players #and planned to kidnap these 50 year old cartoon characters #so the cartoon characters who literally never played basketball in any of their cartoons #were like clearly the only way to settle this is with a game of basketball #and just when all hope seems lost #bill murray who has literally only been in one other scene in the movie #shows up completely without explanation #and no one questions it #and doesn’t even do anything to help the team like he literally just shows up to pass the ball to michael #and then michael jordan slam dunks the ball from half court to win the game #and someone in hollywood read that script #and was like yes perfect no changes need to be made let’s get this project going #i don’t believe in god #but i do believe in space jam

[theshirtlessadventurer-deactiva]

I too believe in Space Jam

[coexisters]

if when I’m older I don’t end up living in an apartment in a big city with a group of my closest friends and we don’t get ourselves into comically awkward situations and spend every day hanging out and making memories together I will be very disappointed because every sitcom ever will have misguided me

[crystalblueenigma]

There is only 1 year difference between these two actors. 24 and 25.

[pro-clone]

just one, i’m a few- i think we’re at more than a few now

[ninosbrain]

EFFING TMAS

[marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer]

Veronica Mars - 1x19 Hot Dogs

Congratulations! You’ve been named the world’s biggest cockroach. This award is given in recognition of your unparalleled lack of decency and humanity. Bravo! You’re gonna die friendless and alone.

(requested by confused-pikachu)

[ttatianamaslany-blog]

[journeytothepast91]

Male Writer: Ah, anniversary jokes are so funny. Because chicks always hate it when you don't remember anniversaries! A plus gold very original

Male Writer: Mother in laws amirite?

Male Writer: My male character who is an author insert of myself pines after a woman I used to pine after in high school. Then they have sex. This is good literature.

Male Writer: Ugh female books are so romance filled

Male Writer: And girl fanfics, so mary suey

Male Writer: Now listen about this original middle aged man who is an expert in everything, suffers from ennui, looks like me, acts like me, and gets all the girls i want.

Male Writer: She was sexy in an alluring, boring way, filled with purple prose and riddled with objectification

Male Writer: If i make a female character parrot my misogynistic views, they cease to be misogynistic! Are you saying you don't respect my fake female characters opinions, feminists?

Male Writer: a good action girl is one who looks hot at all times

Male Writer: If the female main character got in an asskicking line, my work is Feminist with a capital F and no one can criticize me

Specifically White Male Writer: Heroic tropes are so overdone. I'm going to create a boring white guy with stubble to be a completely original antihero no one has ever seen before TM.

Same Guy: It's original because he is a jerk who gets away with bad behavior, just like I wish i could.

Another Specifically White Male Writer: It's in my universe to only have white men do things in my book. I mean, don't you care about historical accuracy

Same Guy: I mean, it's a generic fantasy verse with no real life time period equivalent and i haven't done any research, but i'm SURE that it's historically accurate. To that dark mideval dragon fighting europe period

Same Guy: Where in Europe? Who cares!

Male Writer: There is no better way to introduce a female character to a male character than by him saving her.

Male Writer: Characters hating each other is good sexual tension!

Male Writer: One female character and five male characters is a good team balance

Male Writer: If my female character chooses to act in a sexist tropey way, it's not sexist. In fact, because she CHOSE to do it, it is Feminist.

Male Writer: I am original

[brutereason]

A few months back, I was asked to participate in a debate on the topic of whether men should have to pay on dates. (I was “the feminist.”) It turned out that the male debater and I didn’t really disagree much on that topic. I said that, generally, whoever asks the other person out pays for that date, and then at some point couples generally transition into sharing costs in whatever way works for them. He was actually pretty happy to pay for first dates; he just wanted women to say thank you and to not use him. I had no problem with that. I think he said that women should offer to pay half, knowing they’ll probably be turned down. I said, well, sometimes — but what if the other person invited you someplace really expensive? What if you agreed to a date with the guy and he spent an hour saying crazy racist shit to you and you felt like you couldn’t escape? This is what led to our real disagreement. The male debater felt strongly that if a woman wasn’t interested in a second date, she should say so on the spot. If the man says, “Let’s do this again sometime,” the woman shouldn’t say, “Sure, great,” and then back out later. I said that that was a nice ideal, but that he should keep in mind that most women spent most of their lives living in low-level fear of physical aggression from men. I think about avoiding rape (or other violence) every time I walk home from the subway, every time there’s an unexpected knock at the door, and certainly every time I piss off an unhinged man. So, if I were on a date with a man who I felt was unbalanced, creepy, overly aggressive, or possibly violent, and he asked if I wanted to “do this again sometime,” I would say whatever I felt would avoid conflict. And then I would leave, wait awhile, and hope that letting him down politely a few days later would avoid his finding me and turning my skin into an overcoat. The male debater was furious that I had even brought this up. He felt that the threat of violence against women was irrelevant, and that I was playing some kind of “rape card” as a debate trick. He got angrier and angrier as we argued. I also got angrier and angrier, although I worked hard to keep speaking in a calm and considered way. He was shouting and cutting me off when I tried to speak. I pointed out that the debater himself was displaying exactly the sort of behavior that would make me very uncomfortable on a date. THAT made him livid. He then called me “passive-aggressive.” I was genuinely taken aback. “Actually,” I said, “I call this ‘behaving myself.’” It’s a lot of work to stay calm when you’re just as furious as the other person, and that other person is shouting at you. I felt that I was acting like a grownup — at some emotional cost to myself — and I wanted credit, not insults, for being able to speak in a normal tone of voice when I was having to explain things like, “We can’t tell who the rapists are before they turn violent, so sometimes we have to be cautious with men who do not intend to harm us.”

Bullish Life: When Men Get Too Emotional To Have A Rational Argument (via brutereason)

[helenas-fish-knife-deactivated2]

In which Tony and Helena share a love for motorcycles and rescuing their sister. AKA how the finale should go.