Sleepless in Virginia

Writer. Reader. Sometimes adventurer. 

[shesnake]

Bong Joon-ho on the specificity and universality of Parasite (2019)

[dredsina]

mormon kids under the age of 18 being told their church is a cult

mormons 18-24 after they go through their endowment ceremony and receive their new name and secret clothing and learn the secret handshakes and passwords and realize everyone around them has been secretly doing this the whole time and now theyre going to be sent away from their family for 2 years where they will literally not be allowed to be alone for 1 second of the day except to go to the bathroom and they have no idea how to get out of what they just got into

[dredsina]

one of the only perks of being a mormon woman is that i didn’t get my endowment at age 19 and i had a little extra time to mature and be out on my own. that’s all i needed to make a clean break and i got out at 21 before i wouldve gotten my endowment. 

[kittleimp]

wait what? can anyone elaborate on this? because I had no idea this was a thing

[dredsina]

basically when youre a mormon kid growing up you realize your church is a little strict but you’re like whatever. i have friends at church because i go to church 6 days a week and everyone around me is affirming that this is the right thing to do and we have special knowledge no one else has otherwise everyone would be like this. so youve gotta go teach them & it’s the greatest thing in the world to be a missionary. also the temple is beautiful and amazing and spiritual and holy and everyone wants to go there. but it’s a secret! :) because it’s holy and sacred

then if youre a boy and u turn 18 they’re like wow amazing!!! you get to go on a mission and be like all the great men around you!! and now you get to go through the temple! so #blessed!

and then you go through the temple and all the above mentioned SECRET CULTY SHIT happens (EXPLANATION HERE http://mormoncurtain.infymus.com/topic_templeceremonies.html) and youre shipped off to a strange place where everything you eat, wear, go, listen to and do is controlled, and you’re not allowed to talk to your family or friends (except through a once-a-week email) and you literally are being watched by your companion at all. times. 

some might say “you can leave at any time” but consider that i never went on a mission and i never went through the temple and i still consider leaving the mormon church the hardest thing i ever did. you have no social network outside the church. you are lacking major knowledge and skills. you have to grapple with the fact that you may never see your family again.

[chortletortoise]

I’m reblogging this again bc I have Thoughts.

Leaving is such an isolating experience. No one inside wants anything to do with you anymore and no one outside understands the scale of messed up that Mormonism is. Like it’s easy to point and laugh at the ridiculousness, but it’s literally a cult. There’s so much trauma involved and there’s trauma in leaving.

People on the outside don’t understand how hard it is to leave. I grew up where all my friends were catholic and are no longer religious and they’re like “well everyone hates church, you just stop going” but Mormonism isn’t like that at all. For starters I had to get a lawyer involved to leave and then the ostracization from the entire community that nurtured me growing up was just the cherry on top. It’s effectively being shunned. Everyone you were forced to call sister and brother growing up no longer wants anything to do with you. And you deserve it, because you shouldn’t have fallen for the anti-Mormon lies.

Leaving The Church was the hardest thing I ever did and my family accepts me so I’m a lucky one. But they still ardently adhere to the institution that hurt me and has resulted in the deaths of people I love. I will never understand.

[antique-scarecrow]

“There’s so much trauma involved and there’s trauma in leaving.”

It’s easy for people looking in from the outside to forget this. Thank you for the reminder. Can anyone recommend resources for young Mormons looking to explore their options?

[periwinklepromise]

Please note: this post will be directly addressed to those hypothetical young Mormons

If you know you’re ready to leave, use quitmormon.com. It’s run by the guy from reddit who is now famous in exmormon circles for offering absolutely free legal services to anybody who needs help leaving. You can give your church id number if you know it, but it’s not required (I never memorized mine, and I sure wasn’t going to ask for it). He takes care of everything. This keeps TSCC (the so-called church) from getting all your latest info and keeps them from hassling you or harassing you. They have to talk to your lawyer instead. Pre 2015, it felt almost impossible to try to leave, but it’s a lot easier now! The years of picketing General Conference to force an excommunication trial are over!

Find a support system. Lean on your friends that have never been mormon, any family members who left, anyone you know who left. I’m an exmormon happy to answer any questions, and I’m sure there are plenty others in the notes who would be super willing to be supportive too. Exmormon groups are many and varied now, and it’s best to find the one that vibes for you. There’s a subreddit that’s popular, but I personally used - and I know this sounds weird, since I don’t have kids - a forum called Mormonism & More on the site babycenter.com. It was started several years ago by some mormons who had questions they weren’t allowed to ask on the normal mormon board (because that board required uplifting, mormon-approved answers at all times). It’s since shifted to ex-mormons or people who want to leave but can’t right now because of family situations. Even though the threads were years old, I spent weeks on that forum, reading about what other people had gone through and how they got through it, and to me, that was super helpful.

Research the culty stuff at your own peril. I liked learning about that stuff for a really long time, because I felt learning about all those secrets (I especially liked learning about the truth of the Book of Abraham) … it helped me feel valid in my choice. It helped me keep in mind that this was something that I had escaped, something that had wanted to hurt me. Missing your abuser doesn’t mean you should go back, it means you should keep moving forward. Missing your cult has the same solution. Lots of people fell for the “we’re totally not a cult!” line by TSCC. Some of them will not offer sympathy. If you want to watch the hidden camera videos of endowments and other temple stuff, I would super super recommend you have a trusted friend watch them with you. And bring comfort food. You’ll probably need it.

TSCC put out a series of essays on controversial (read: faith-killing, eye-opening, omg how could I have ever supported the people who did this) issues in mormon history. They are the Orthodox LDS pre-approved responses to a lot of the more incriminating accusations that have been leveled at TSCC over the years. They should be hosted on TSCC website somewhere, and would have been posted around or after 2015. They may reaffirm your faith now that you know TSCC’s defense, but they may push you right out the door. (Or break the shelf? Do Mormons still use the shelf analogy, or is that retired now?)

Lots of mormons become atheists after leaving. Many join mainstream xian churches. Some become witches, some study every religion they can get their hands on, some try to go back and realize all the magic (or holy spirit, if you prefer) is gone. Don’t think you have to know right away. Some people throw away or burn all their mormon stuff, some people keep it to show their kids, but again, you don’t have to make that decision right away. Some people call TSCC a cult after they leave, myself included, but you don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable or it it doesn’t feel true to your experience.

Look up religious trauma syndrome. It’s real. The pain you will probably feel is real, the grief you will probably feel is real, and in many ways, you may have to mourn the death of what you were always told Life Will Be For You.

And learn that the world is not half as evil as TSCC told you. Your coworkers who drink a beer at the end of the day are not evil or abusive. Your friends who wear sleeveless shirts are not evil or promiscuous. You’re allowed to wear short shorts! You’re allowed to drink coffee! You’re allowed to ask questions in a faith community without being silenced or condemned! You’re allowed to not want kids! There’s a lot of unlearning here.

TLDR? You have options. You have freedom. Find nonmormon friends who will support you. Be kind to yourself.

[kaldurcalm-deactivated20240513]

I know a lot of adult mormons will say that it isn’t a cult, because this is just a part of their belief system, but…

You deserve to leave safely.

[lesbi-enby-exmo]

One massive thing that prompted my leaving was learning about judaism. My girlfriend, who was also my bff in high school, is Jewish. Even though she wasnt raised with the religious aspect, she still knew a lot about it.

In Mormonism, they say doubt is the devil speaking. In Judaism, your doubt is a gift that allows you to critically engage with the world. You’re expected to ask questions, to wrestle with texts, to poke holes. There’s many, many, many tomes and essays that are arguments and different rabbis and scholars debating different religious aspects.

Put simply, she had the ability to ask questions and think critically. I couldnt, and the lack of willingness from church elders to ever have an actual discussion infuriated me.

I started asking questions. I started doubting. and I left.

My doubt isnt just some icky feeling Satan tempts me with, it is a tool to find the truth.

Also, if you are the kind of person who wants to find out all the gritty details but not in the grimmest way, I would recommend listening to the 6 part history of the Mormon church by Last Podcast on the Left. Full disclosure, the hosts are very crass and approach it from the understanding LDS is a cult. However, hearing a full history of the church laid out, for me, confirmed my choice to leave.

[wondrousworld]

So my roommate (girl) bought this vodka?? and me (guy) and my other roommate (guy) poured a glass and have just been staring at it for a good 10 minutes idk what is this glitter fuckery I don’t wanna drink it

[pinknegg]

I (guy) am curious why your genders are relevant

[dialupmodem-deactivated20250702]

i (big baller) am wondering if anyone here smokes weed (narcotic)

[thefederalistfreestyle]

look ‘em in the eye, aim no higher

[folly-of-alexandria]

I’d like to let you all know, that in a plot twist, all the stupid infighting has actually accomplished something.

[ms-demeanor]

praxis.

[kingdomheartstwo-deactivated201]

of all the arbitrary differences between america and britain, this one is my favorite

[elfgrove]

[official-johnny-joestar]

[dilfdyke]

every time a new lesbian film comes out i see a dozen posts on how its a win for inclusion and the new best film ever and every time the couple looks exactly like this

[penisennui]

[livinmokotory]

adhdalistair:

penisennui:

(via Justin Jorgensen) “In 2007 I worked with photographers Williams + Hirakawa to create a concept piece of me sleeping on a sheet cake. I though these cakes looked like pillows, and there’s the obvious play on ‘sweet dreams.’

I wondered if I could fall asleep on a cake and have sweet dreams. I didn’t. It was pretty gross really and wasn’t easy to wash off.

A few years later, outtakes from the shoot were sold to Getty Images as stock photos. I didn’t know this until 2011 when one of those photos made #13 on the wildly popular Buzzffed.com list of “60 Completely Unusable Stock Photos.”

Into 2014, the Getty Image photo continues to make the rounds on Facebook and Tumblr.”

[skylorde]

i can’t believe i leveled up enough to unlock cake pillow guy’s backstory

[coelasquid]

I can’t believe the “sweet dreams” joke didn’t occur to me

[scaredenglishmajor]

If anyone deserves a raise it’s the employee from four seasons total landscaping who answered the phone and went “yup, we can set up a podium and everything” and just acted like nothing was out of the ordinary.

[nerdymouse]

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

Amazing. Truly amazing.

Also now they're selling "Make America Rake Again" stickers.

[cosmicutie]

YOU GUYS DIDNT SEE THE BEST PART

They are selling hilarious shirts and all the proceeds go to the National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network‼️‼️‼️

[woolstation-deactivated20210603]

the four seasons total landscaping thing is unfortunately extremely funny

[fakethenip-deactivated20220809]

I wanna know the perspective of the receptionist at that landscaping firm who was told that the president wanted to speak outside their garage and was like okay

[baeddel]

I take immense psychic damage from the united states election cycle

[like-i-need-a-hole-in-my-head]

It’s designed that way. 

[baeddel]

im not even from your country!!!

[anarchblr]

it’s designed that way.

[hashtagloveloses]

the putin thing being fake is just….chefs kiss. nothing is more old school tumblr than people making superwholock memes about a major political event only to find out it was deliberate russian disinformation like that is OLD SCHOOL tumblr WOW we are FULL CIRCLE

[stalessiastan]

john mulaney talking about how much he loves his wife and roasting other male comedians that just talk shit on their wives is why The Gays like him so much because he’s what Straight Culture should be

[frogmp3]

he literally called her a bitch so let’s raise the standards ladies and gentlemen

[pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated]

the bar is at the earth’s core 

[jupitercrash]

literally fuck you to hell tumblr

[bogleech]

This is the first I heard of this guy and I think this is the most dramatically I’ve seen anyone’s words taken out of context in quite a while

[gunaerystargarygun]

The worst thing abt working in a craft store is that 90% of the time, the woman jokes in some way or another her husband will kill her/beat her for spending money. Or they’ll half the payment in cash so it “looks like less when he checks our account.”

That shit isn’t funny. It isn’t cute and it makes me so sad that these women joke about it. So WHAT if your wife likes to make wreaths or sparkly tumbler cups??? So WHAT if her passion is soap making or painting?? God forbid ur wife have a fucking hobby that isn’t blowing you!!

[gunaerystargarygun]

Holiday season is upon us so if you berate ur wife for having a hobby, fuck you!! If you know somebody who does this fucking punch them in the throat!!!

[wysswurst]

my mom owned a store like this and would be like “does your husband golf?” and the shop was in a rich white neighbourhood so they would always say yes and my mom would do quick math and be like “great, this is worth half a game of golf. Looks like you have more to spend if you wanna!”

great tactic in empowering women and selling more craft items 

[pothead-paisan]

So uhh today I was chastised by my sociology professor when I said that FGM and child marriage are inherently wrong and constitute human rights violations regardless of where/why they’re practiced. He said I “can’t think like that” and that I wasn’t using the sociological perspective of cultural relativism. I’m amazed that I managed to stop myself from screaming, but somehow I did and now my blood’s just been quietly boiling all day instead. And my doctor wonders why I have high blood pressure this young… Jesus FUCKING CHRIST

[dietmountainmadewka-deactivated]

he’s right though. Why do your cultural values and moral imperatives have more value than anyone else’s?

[cocksmasher69]

BECAUSE WOMEN AND GIRLS DON’T DESERVE TO BE MUTILATED IN ANY COUNTRY, ANY CULTURE, ANY FUCKING CONTEXT, PERIOD. FUCK YOU ETERNALLY.

[grlreign]

women: we deserve full bodily autonomy

some inbred fucktard: idk bro this seems kinda racist maybe if you took into consideration how important oppressing women is to my people you’d underst

[theladythecla]

“When men are oppressed, it’s a tragedy. When women are oppressed, it’s tradition.” — Letty Cottin Pogrebin

[mens-rights-activia]

I wonder what Christian meme groups are like. I mean some Christians have the biggest victim complexes in the world and if you couple that with first person perspective memes, you’d probably get memes like:

[oppositionresearch]

Oh thank fuck it is my time to shine

These are all from a Christian meme group that I joined for some reason but fell in love with

[what-even-is-thiss]

I’ve been consuming Christian memes since I was about fourteen and they’re all like this. Also:

[gay-hrothgars]

May I add:

[lladcy]

ok i spent hours looking through christian discord servers for these

[tacodarp]

Some personal favorites I’ve encountered

[rosslynpaladin]

I’m not sure if any of these count as blasphemy exactly but happy sunday yall.

[amydiddle]

This goes so well with what my mother says.

‘God has to have a sense of humor or else he wouldn’t have created us.”

[mistresskabooms]

Listen I know I’m Jewish but this shit is too fucking funny for me not to reblog

[smooththegoofyshark]

It’s Sunday y'all

[somehowsnakesblog]

I may be an atheist but y'all I lost it

[nerdybrokecollegestudent-deacti]

D E A D

[404-later]

MUST. ADD. TO. LIST. FROM. R/DANKCHRISTIANMEMES

[orion98]

My time has come

[queencatradora]

do you ever wonder why stephanie meyer had the cullens live in a small town to preserve their “anonymity?” has she ever been to a small town??? small town people got nothing to do all day, other than to gossip and think about those weird people that live in the forest. if anything, they’re getting the opposite of anonymity. you want real anonymity? live in a big city. you could live next to someone for 5 years and never even learn their name. they’re up all night? they’re beautiful, looks like they had some crazy good plastic surgery? you never see them go outside? somehow hella fuckin rich? yeah. That’s LA

[muchymozzarella]

New York has a guy wearing rainbow tie dye outfit from hat to toe riding down the road on a unicycle with a boom box on his shoulder, you think people will care about the weird sparkly rich people?