❝ It’s a treasure. ❞
❝ I swear next person who asks if I’m okay, I’m gonna start throwing punches! ❞
❝ I know what you’re thinking. Why’d it have to be clowns? ❞
❝ Why do you think I drive everywhere? ❞
❝ Dude, you fugly. ❞
❝ It’s like I finally see a light at the end of this ugly ass tunnel. ❞
❝ I wish I couldn’t feel a damn thing. ❞
❝ You know I love the guy, but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda. ❞
❝ You stink like sex. ❞
❝ I owe you the biggest “I told you so” ever. ❞
❝ Yeah, MySpace, what the hell is that? ❞
❝ Everybody keeps asking me that, but… no. ❞
❝ I think I’m adorable. ❞
❝ I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot. ❞
❝ Dude, he/she wants me to meet his/her parents. I don’t do parents. ❞
❝ This weight on my shoulders, man, I’m tired of it. ❞
❝ You mean “protection against a demon” salt or “oops, I spilled the popcorn” salt? ❞
❝ We know a little about a lot of things. Just enough to make us dangerous. ❞
❝ Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole. ❞
❝ First I’m gonna find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap outta him. ❞
❝ Say you’ll take care of yourself. ❞
❝ You can take your peace and shove it up your lily-white ass. ❞
❝ You are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch. ❞
❝ You’re serious? You’re gonna walk in there and tell him the truth? ❞
❝ We’ve talked about this. Personal space? ❞
❝ Hey, look! A monster broke my leg. ❞
❝ Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon? ❞
❝ Dude, could you be more gay? ❞
❝ You fudging touch me again, I’ll fudging kill you! ❞
❝ Gimme the baby, or I’ll stab you in your throat. ❞
❝ I bet it’s not even sharp. ❞
❝ You don’t stop being a soldier because you got wounded in battle. ❞
❝ Don’t make me lose you, too. ❞
❝ Dude, stow the touchy-feely-self-help yoga crap! ❞
❝ No chick flick moments. ❞
❝ What, are you allergic to straight answers, you son of a bitch?! ❞
❝ Pretend he has boobs. ❞
❝ If you walk out that door, don’t ever come back. ❞
❝ I like to think it’s because of my perky nipples. ❞
❝ Don’t ever change. ❞
❝ I’m proud of us. ❞
❝ Not for nothing, but last time someone looked at me like that… I got laid. ❞
❝ You know who whines? Babies. ❞
❝ I know how you look into a mirror and hate what you see. ❞
❝ Demons I get. People are crazy. ❞
❝ Huh. Man, that’s crap. You always have a choice. You can either roll over and die or you can keep fighting. No matter what. ❞
❝ I just can’t keep pretending that everything’s alright. ❞
❝ I’m poison. ❞
❝ You’re like a walking Encyclopedia of weirdness. ❞
❝ I guess that’s what I do. I let down the people that I love. ❞
❝ As long as I’m around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you. ❞
❝ I get all tingly when you take control like that. ❞
❝ You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people. And douchebags. ❞
❝ I think you pissed off my sandwich. ❞
❝ And best part is – I don’t care that I don’t care! ❞
❝ I wanted you to know that when I do picture myself happy, it’s with you. ❞
❝ Dude, on my car, he showed up naked, covered in bees. ❞
❝ Nobody kill any virgins! ❞
❝ ________ or not, I will stab you in your face. ❞
❝ My Spidey senses are tingling. ❞
❝ Then we can all go out for ice-cream and strippers. ❞
❝ Nobody cares that you’re broken! ❞
❝ Do I really say “awesome” a lot? ❞
❝ What’s dead should STAY dead! ❞
❝ I’ll kill you, your children and your grandchildren. ❞
❝ You fudging touch me again, I’ll fudging kill ya! ❞
❝ If you say “(God works in) mysterious ways,” so help me, I will kick your ass! ❞
❝ You should know… I’m 90% crap. You take that, and what’s left? ❞
❝ Don’t objectify me. ❞
❝ Don’t you dare think there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you. ❞
❝ Are we gonna fight or make out? ‘Cause I’m getting some real mixed signals over here. ❞
❝ I mean, what’s the point in worrying about your future if you don’t have one? ❞
❝ I’m not gonna whine about my bullshit problems to some bullshit reality show. I’m gonna do my fucking job. ❞
❝ Do you think it’s ‘cause we’re so awesome? I think it’s ‘cause we’re so awesome. ❞
❝ Why do people keep thinking I’m threatening them? ❞
❝ Yeah, nobody speaks Greek anymore. Except Greeks. ❞
❝ It takes two to… you know… have hardcore sex. ❞
❝ It’s your grief counselors! We’ve come to hug. ❞