💰 WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL
G'day, investors, customers, future victims, and random lurkers.
You've just entered the headquarters of the most successful family in Hell. Whether you're here for business, gossip, family drama, or terrible financial advice, you've come to the right place.
Meet the team.
💰 MAMMON💰
Founder, CEO, and self-proclaimed greatest businessman alive.
Patriarch of the family, businessman, and owner of just about every dodgy and legitimate venture you can think of. If there’s a deal to be made or money to be earned, he’s already three steps ahead.
Mammon’s wife and the one keeping the whole bloody operation from falling apart. While others chase chaos, she’s usually the one making sure things stay functional… or at least survivable.
Once tried to be what was expected. Now she’s figuring out who she actually is. Sharp tongue, sharper humor, and a habit of reinventing herself whenever she feels trapped.
Sweet voice, perfect smile, deeply unsettling stare. Obsessed with her father and her collection of dolls. She loves you… probably. That might be worse.
Calm, refined, and annoyingly intelligent. Handles strategy and structure like it’s second nature. Thinks he could run things better than Mammon. Big Mistake.
Big, soft, and dangerously strong. Looks intimidating, acts like a teddy bear. Probably crying somewhere or breaking a wall by accident.
Smooth talker, professional liar, and walking sales pitch. If you’ve ever bought something you didn’t need, there’s a decent chance it was him.
You don’t notice her until it’s too late. Always watching. Always remembering. Nobody really knows what she’s thinking… which is exactly the problem.
Loud, reckless, brilliant. Lives like rules are optional suggestions. If something explodes, it was either an accident or art.