The End has Arrived
I have two kids that are grown adults.... or at least should be. My son is actually my step-son, but I've never recognized or treated him any differently than if he was my own flesh and blood. He is doing good; tried college, bombed, accepted and went to tech school. Graduated with flying colors and starting his career. I've taught him everything I can, and still teach him stuff when he asks, but for the most part, he is living life and doing pretty well. Then there is my daughter; I got custody of her when she was 13 years old. Her birth mother is highly bipolar, controlling manipulative, pathelogical liar - very, very narcissistic and poisons every relationship she is in... unfortunately, it seemed like she was raising my daughter in the same self-destructive way.... After I got custody of my daughter, I did everything I could think of to help her grow up in a good house and to get going in a good direction. Also realizing how she had lived the first 13 years of her life, I went brought her to counseling and even attended family sessions with all of us. My daughter was a chronic liar, manipulator, showed all the classic signs of a Sociopath... The Psychologist never saw it; my daughter had her played. I brought her to another Psych for evaluation when she was 17 and got a differential diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder. I started looking into some heavy duty treatment programs, while keeping her in outpatient counseling programs. Needless to say, I failed her and she turned 18 and immediately left the house to live with her boyfriend at the time. Needless to say, since that time, she has bounced from place to place at friend's and family's homes, bad-mouthing my wife and I and begging for help from others.... she lie and manipulate those individuals until they realize what is going on, talk to me, I explain everything I know to them and by then, my daughter has moved on to the next "victim." Everyone in my family and her birth-mother and stepmother side of the family will no longer have anything to do with her. I was the last hold out; until today... I realized, the only time she ever reaches out to me to "try and rebuild our relationship" is when she wants something. Usually money, or gifts, or to try and play me in some scheme she has going on at the time. It has taken me 4 years.... 4 years of allowing her to poison me, my life, my marriage, my relationship with my family. I talked with her today; in fact, I got done talking with her about 20 minutes ago. My heart is breaking and I feel like I failed her and that I was a bad father. I know there are a lot of research articles out there that talk about kids who need to "divorce" they parents because they're destroying them. I can't help but feel there is an exception that I'm failing to meet since I'm "divorcing" my daughter from my life. Logically, I tell myself that I'm doing the right thing - but in my heart, I question myself....
