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Favorite Ayahs

My Favorite Ayahs.

“It is not [befitting] for Allah to take a son; exalted is He! When He decrees an affair, He only says to it, "Be," and it is.” (Surah Maryam 35)

SubhanAllah, God can grant anything at at anytime. The most shameful thing to Him is when you beg for something come back empty-handed. Remember everything is maktoob and He has something better written for you. The blessing may be your gained relationship with Him. Just have sabr and tawakkul and never forget God’s path.

“and Man was created weak.” (Surah an-Nisa 28)

Because you’ve been falling into your temptations and desires doesn’t mean you’re the worst muslim on the face of the earth. The most beloved people to God are the ‘repenters’. It’s a verse that prompted a smile upon our beloved Prophet Muhammad (s) when brought down to him. Your guilt is a sign from God to come back to Him and offer sincerity. We were created to mistake but the beautiful souls of iman are the ones who come back to their Lord seeking forgiveness.

This verse is also a reminder to not pride one self with their “own” achievements and strength. Everything is generously given by Allah (swt). Nothing was created and done solely by you nor will ever be.

Being overwhelmed is an understandable feeling to happen often. That’s how human beings were made. The only way to ask and gain strength is by prayer. A connection to God is the only way to relieve you of your stress and substitute it with a feeling of fulfillment.

“The likeness of those who take other than Allah as protective friends is like the spider which takes a home. And certainly the weakest of homes is the spider’s home- if you only knew.” (Surah Ankaboot 41)

In the end we are all alone so when people come and leave our lives we should not dwell on it or be extremely sad. The greatest comfort is within God. Friends are like icing on a cake- it’s a great addition, definitely making the experience much better. However, if the cake itself isn’t enjoyable you might as well trash the whole thing. The cake is the self-comfort one has with himself. 

“Is the reward for good anything but good?” (Surah Rahman)

He promises nothing but goodness for the one who gives so. He says it in an obvious tone; like an “of course, are you stupid??” type of way.

Goodness comes in many forms, you just have to be aware to identify them. Being aware means being thankful of your everyday blessings and in touch with your soul. This then leads you to appreciate the authentic things in life.

He doesn’t give a time frame of when the payoff for your work will come, but He does promise it. Just have patience and iA your path will be opened.

“Indeed what is to come will be better for you than what has gone by.” (Surah Ad-Duhaa 4)

Never reminisce on things lost because what is to come will be 10x better. Just have صبر. It may be hard to see, but the blessing may be that it has left.

“And indeed We have created man, and We know whatever thoughts his inner self develops, and We are closer to him than (his) jugular vein.” (Quran 50:16).

God is the one who swears He is near to you at all times. So when you feel astray, that is on you, He never moved. Don’t forget how merciful He is to let you just come back to Him whenever, at all times.

When you feel weak He is nearby to go to at anytime. 

He is always watching every one of your actions. Never forget how close He is. It goes hand in hand with the ayah that promises good for good. Nothing will ever go unnoticed under Him.

As much as He is there watching our good, He is equally present watching our bad. So when we sin and forget God’s presence, He is as much there as on any other day.

Allah is protecting us. The jugular veins are in a vulnerable position: one bad move and any being could be dead within seconds. This is similar to our dependence on God.

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HEARTBREAK- the best thing that ever happened to me

Broken Hearted

Heartbreak- the greatest emotional and physical pain I’ve ever felt in my life. I now understand the literal meaning of a broken heart. I remember grasping my skin to reach my heart in an attempt to ease the physical pain. I gave a single being my all, my everything. Part of what defined me was somebody else. The second he left, a part of me was on that train too. I was there alone, on the kitchen floor, hurting, crying, begging God with my hands in the air asking him to ease my pain. The only words that came out of my weeping mouth was “Ya Allah, Ya Allah, Ya Allah”, I couldn’t utter anything more. I promised to give Him everything in that moment if He just relieved the feeling. I was alone, in complete vulnerability. The hardest part was nobody understood or knew what I was going through. My confidence broke. I had to mourn the death of a person I loved and the future I imagined for myself. The problem with young love is we haven’t defined ourself individually yet. Because of that, it’s difficult to go into a relationship and not grow into each other rather than complement each other.  It took a year on and off to completely detach myself from a sociopath. My questions were never answered. I tried coming to terms that they’d never be answered, but I wasn’t fully satisfied. I tried everything to keep my mind preoccupied, multiple boys in my phone, a wild version of myself, and honestly so much more. Until recently had we talked and everything made sense. EVERYTHING. He can’t feel sympathy or empathy, he told me. It hard for him to feel any kind of emotion. Everything added up, the charisma, egocentric goals and values, lack of emotional intelligence, different views on issues, it all made sense. “He was a sociopath” I laughed. For 2 years I asked myself what is wrong with me. What am I not giving him? It wasn’t me I realized. I cried. I invested so much time and emotion into a relationship that wasn’t real, it’s pathetic. But I’m also thankful for the answer I found. I ended it with telling him “It was never me, it was you” and a BLOCK. Just like reading the ending to a story and closing the book, I felt fulfilled. There was nothing else I needed. I was okay, I am okay. Not many people know because it's shameful for the “muslim girl” to get into an invested relationship. I did do some shameful things I don’t think about because my mind can’t process. But I regret nothing. The sins I committed gave me a reason to feel dutiful to Allah. I also learned how to love somebody else, allowing me to then invest all that into me and become the most independent version of myself. I consider the day on my kitchen floor pleading to God the changing point of my life. Although it was the greatest pain I’ve ever felt, it was the day everything meant something to me. The moment I became conscious of God. The day the world became r e a l.