Winger

My name Jeffrey Tobias Winger, a.k.a Tango. I am a defense attorney and all around decent guy, or so I hear. Married to Milady 4/20/14 Father of Olivia and Brandon

[thebatmanformerlyknownasabed]

Jeff and Annie are white, but not Anglo-Saxon or Protestant...

They’re WASP-ish. You know. I’m approximating.

[jtwinger]

Thanks?

[jtwinger]

Do the twins look more like you, or their mommy?

I think they look more like me.

[jtwinger]

Thank you for being you! Metrosexual men are a legitimate part of the gender representation revolution. Happy Pride! -Amanda

Oh um, you're welcome?

[jtwinger]

What's it like to be in love?

It's weird but awesome.

[jtwinger]

I'm 18 and I have a doctorate in astrophysics - one of those prodigies, you know - but I'm not sure if it's really my thing. What life advice would you give from the other side of 40?

My advice is to go to Annie for advice

[jtwinger]

Since giving birth is kind of mayhem on the sexy parts, have you and Annie considered sticking to oral sex for a while?

This is none of your business

[thebatmanformerlyknownasabed]

Wee Wingers

[thebatmanformerlyknownasabed]

“NYOOM,” thought Abed as he rounded a corner, Troy hot on his heels. Though he had learned that actual sound effects were frowned upon in chase scenarios, they made the whole thing so much more exciting, even if only imagined.

…not that they really needed any more excitement here. The timing of all of this was truly impeccable, and he found himself wishing he had his camera on. 

Wait a minute.

As he ran down a particularly long hallway, he turned his camera back on and pointed it at his remarkably calm face. 

"Hey mini-Wingers. If you’re watching this at some point in your future, and we didn’t make it out, know that your uncles died doing what they loved: filming a chase scene in a very impractical location. Say hi to the twins, Troy!"

He pointed the camera over his shoulder just in time for Troy to make his entirely unfounded accusation.

"Oh for- no! Focus, Troy! Running now, racial slurs later!”

They continued their sprint, only to smack straight into a wall made of ego, stress, and hair gel after a few more minutes of running. Nope. Not today. No time for this.

"Hi Jeff, congrats on the babies, they’re adorable, give Annie our best, gotta go, bye Jeff!"

With that brief and slightly winded congratulatory exclamation, Abed attempted to move around his friend and to the staircase beyond. 

[jtwinger]

Jeff had been walking down the hall, on his way to check on the twins when he say Troy and Abed run past him being chased by security. He was confused and had no idea what was going on but as the guard ran by he stopped him, "Hey so I had a question..." He says, leading the man away and making random small talk to allow his friends to get away

[jtwinger]

Is there such a thing as too much cynicism?

never

[jtwinger]

"Has been" implies failure. Not so. "Has been" is history. "Has been" was. "Has been"... might again.

.... Um

[jtwinger]

I've heard of you, the ready-made connecting with the ever-ready. Yeah. The never-was talking about still-trying. I got it. Forever-bitter gossiping about never-say-die. May I inquire what you've been doing mister? Jack? "Never done Jack." And you partner, what's the News of the World, Dick? "I don't say dick." Don, of all the people you must be the tattler. "Two thumbs up." What are you afraid of? Failure? So am I.

what?

[jtwinger]

KHC Annie Britta Shirley?

K: Annie

H: Shirley

C: Britta

[jtwinger]

[jtwinger]

Has been. Has been. You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You callin' me has been? What'd you say your name is? Jack? Never Done Jack. Glad to meet ya, Who's your friend? Dick. Don't Say Dick. Whaddya know? And you friend, what's your handle? Don. Two Thumbs Don. Riding on their armchairs, they dream of wealth and fame. Fear is their companion. Nintendo is their game. Never Done Jack and Two Thumbs Don and sidekick Don't Say Dick will laugh at others failures - though they have not done shit.

.....

[jtwinger]

WYR kill a human or die?

Kill a human

[jtwinger]

WYR ball forever or work some of the time?

I dont know what you mean..

[jtwinger]

WYR cheat on Annie or never have sex again?

Never have sex

[jtwinger]

Catherine the Great more like Catherine the Cray, am I right?

Totally right