Ok wow
Just checking in.
I know no one even goes on tumblr anymore so this truly feels like a vast diary entry into the internet, but oh wow...I took around three hours looking at old posts. From meeting Joseph, to falling endlessly in and out of love with people when I made my move to Chi, to my horrible and traumatizing abusive break up before I left. Even small snippets of my experiences meeting people, going to school, expectations I had and what my goals were.
I am so glad I continued to post during those times because I am having small revelations looking at these texts and photos.
I am so sad I kept so much of my validation in my weight. Why did I talk about weight so much? Yes, I still have body issues but even at my lowest during those times I was still complaining to lose more. I am happy I chucked away my scale. Who has the brain power to even think about this anymore? I’m glad thats over with.
I’m also like wow, if only I could slap the hella emotional pisces vibes from my soul and awaken my gemini rising and leo moon during these times. Honey, stop falling in love. Men are shit and always will be shit. I guess I needed 4 years of traumatic experiences in cis relationships to realize this. Men hate me now and that feels good. I also cackle at all the posts of women I would reblog only to realize I was actually entranced by their beauty. I’m glad I woke up and realized my bisexual/queer vibes. Women are fucking beautiful.
I still love my old music taste and its still the best emotional music that makes me wanna cry. not going to hate on that. ha!
I will continue this more but to sleepy.
